A/N: I'm sorry that this is taking so long. There has just recently been a tragedy at our school and work bogs me down with STUPID writing prompts. (I swear to god, No Child Left Behind! Update: I got a 5 on said writing prompt! Beat that school administrators! Though, I get to read the Bell Jar, which I HIGHLY recommend.) Merridees is kicking my ass everywhere I turn and the German food from the Flying Horse Octoberfest Celebration is making me sicker than I have been since I was seven. So, I shall take repressions upon this.

Maybe I should have clarified on this story being completely Sirius's POV, but if you like it that much in the end, I'll write the same one on Remus's POV. Tell me what you think of that.

All things included. Don't own this, blah blah blah. I'd also like to thank everyone who has commented. You have no idea how much it makes my day; so if I could, I'd kiss every single one of you.

Chapter 4: Now That I Know the Truth …

A week passed and Sirius found himself more confused than ever. One day, he'd just be sitting there, minding his own business, and then Remus walks into the room. Or they brush hands, share glances. That was what started to undo Sirius.

He'd never felt so privileged, yet so angry to be in the same room as one person. At night, he would have odd dreams. In the dreams he'd sit there, staring at him. He'd notice how the dust particles and sunlight made every golden strand stand out and oval eyes burn with an unspoken question. Then, there was a flash and he was kissing him. Mouths meshed and tongues caressed, teeth clattering and it was amazing. Another flash: he was running his fingers through his hair, catching the small tangles and glide through it like it was silk. Flash: Remus' scared chest would arch, seeking warmth, pleading. Flash: a hitch of breath. Flash: a moan, "Sirius" Flash: "I lov-"

He'd wake up, shaking, bed sheets soaked with sweat. He'd lie there till there was no hope and he'd walk over to Remus's bed to watch him. Then Remus would stir, look up at him groggily, and pat his hand, saying, "Go back to sleep Padfoot, you idiot; it's not even light." He'd then roll over and drift back to sleep.

There were times when Remus would get so close to him; closer than he had to anyone. They'd be sitting on Remus's bed, listening to a record, and Remus would lay his head in his lap. This would startle him, but Sirius would stroke his hair carefully, taking in everything he could. He treasured these moments, locking them into the back of his mind where no one would ever get to them.

But then, there were other times where he just couldn't stand to be in the same room as him, it was that painful. Like now for instance: same scenario, different mood.

"Was there anyone you fancied back at school, Padfoot?" Remus said idly, toying with a string off the side of his quilt.

To be truthfully with himself, he didn't. Never had. He looked back on it, and it was so strange. Not once had any woman ever really caught his eye, and none of the blokes either (he shivered at the thought). He always seemed to have something more important to do. He heard himself say, "No, not really," but it seemed hollowed out, as if coming from someone else.

"Well ... I sort of had this thing for Lana Richwood; she's in our class, Ravenclaw. Do you know her?" He said, looking up through a fringe of bangs.

Sirius looked down on the quilt, not able to meet his eyes. "To be honest, no."

"She's muggle born. We studied together sometimes in the library. She is very outspoken and liked to talk a lot. But she always seemed so sad. And, sometimes, I felt like I've never wanted to cheer someone up so badly before. I wanted to know what's going on inside her head, see her smile more." He said this entirely head down, still fingering the tiny string.

So you've never wanted to cheer me up, eh? Don't want to see me smile?! He felt like a child, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to hit something, smash something into a million tiny pieces because someone who Remus barely knew could have stolen his heart away so easily, while Sirius had known him for six years!

Remus shot him a pleading look. "But she's dating Brandon Brunvand. Before we left school, she told me that they were thinking about being engaged. She was the happiest I've ever seen her," he looked down again, letting out a shaky breath," And that was that. Isn't that kind of idiotic?"

Sirius felt a whoosh leave him, like he had been holding his breath and someone had stabbed him with a needle. He gave a weak smile, "Course not. I'm sure that there's someone out there even better than her."

Remus looked up at him. They held eye contact for, what seemed to Sirius, eternity. He saw Remus's pupils dilated to a tiny dot then contract wider, like his eyes were breathing. The amber sunburst in his doe eyes stood out in the afternoon sun and he picked up on the tiniest of silver flecks near the edges. Remus truly had the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen, even more so than Lily's.

Sirius then smiled, a true smile, which Remus had always said was contagious. Remus smiled also, cuffing him over the head. A red tinge spread across his cheeks. "You must really think me a woman." He said softly.

"Oh I dunno, Moony. You are quiet feminine. You like to read, you obey rules, and you always get so cranky around one time of the month. I'd say that-"

"Shut up, you!" Remus roared indigently and tackled him. They wrestled for a moment, limbs flying and tangling in the sheets.

Breaths came out in short puffs as they tumbled around, trying to win dominance. But, after a while, Remus ended up punning Sirius to the bed, holding his wrists down and out to the side. Their chest rose and fell heavily with every unison breath, and Sirius could feel the sweet rush of air on his forehead.

He felt the happiest since he had been there.

And then it hit him. This was how he wanted it to be. No Lana Richwood, no Brian Brunvand, just him and Remus … and it scared the hell out of him.

- Sorry that was really short, and I feel kind of bad, but I hadn't updated in a while. I pretty much know what I'm going to do next; I just don't know when I'll have the chance to write it. Maybe this can be a little biscuit before another, longer, chapter.

Feel free to review otherwise.