The Crossover Saga
By Stoney (stoney107@yahoo.com)
Chapter One
Red--Handed
Castle Toadstool, 6:38 AM.
Pale gray light illuminated the pink roof of the castle, preceding the brilliant golden light-show of dawn. Birds twittered and fluttered past the window looking into the room of the Mario Bros., singing their personal anthems as a wake-up call to all who heard them. Dewdrops beaded the long grass below as all Earth's creatures on this side of the globe arose for the day. And at the window, someone watched it all.
Some people thought this time of the day was best used for sleeping through. Luigi, however, thought differently.
He loved every part of the mornings. Especially the sunrises. He would start every day that he had off work by getting up early and coming out to the balcony outside his and Mario's house. There, he'd watch the glowing red sun slowly inch up over the horizon, spreading its fingertips of rose throughout the brightening sky. And now that they were once again visiting the princess' castle, he refused to break the habit. It was a time of the day that just seemed so peaceful, so quiet, so........
A loud snore from the room behind Luigi crashed into his thoughts. The snore was followed quickly by another, then some snorting and coughing, before resuming again.
Luigi frowned irritably. On the other hand, Mario could never be bothered to get up at such an hour.
He clapped his hands over his ears, trying to stifle out the snores; it did no good. Mario's snoring, according to Luigi, barely beat out air-raid sirens, fingernails on chalkboards, and heavy metal music as the #1 Loudest and Most Annoying Sound On the Planet. Finally he gave up and attempted to ignore it. This was also impossible, as Mario had now started wheezing to accompany his snoring. Luigi gritted his teeth.
No. He mustn't. He couldn't wake Mario up now because of something like this. Although Mario was normally a rather nice and easygoing guy, his sleep was one thing he held great importance in, and anyone who would attempt to take it away from him would usually pay, and pay dearly.
In other words, if Luigi woke him up (especially this early), Mario would probably throttle him in a sleepy rage. Luigi growled in annoyance as the snoring doubled in volume. It was a miracle Mario hadn't woken up half the neighborhood for miles around already.
Finally Luigi opted for an early morning stroll to get away from the noise. He walked back into the room where he and Mario slept whenever they visited Princess Peach's castle, grabbed his work clothes from his suitcase and put them on, snatched his cap up from its' peg on the wall, and walked out the door, shutting it quietly even though there was no need for it.
He found himself in a hallway that was painted completely in shades of pink. Luigi smiled slightly. He had never really understood Peach's bizarre fascination with that color. Of course, he thought while looking at himself, he had never really understood his own preference to green, either.
Luigi padded softly down the hallway, attempting to make as little noise as possible. Another deafening snore emitted from his and Mario's room behind him and he stopped, sighing. Aw, who was he kidding? Mario could wake up the entire castle before he even made a peep. Dunno how the castle's other residents - mainly Peach - put up with it. He shrugged off the thought and resumed walking, this time at a normal pace. Eventually, he came to a staircase perpendicular to the hallway. With the snores he knew to belong to his brother now faint and far away behind him, Luigi began to descend.
Halfway down, the stairway intersected with another hallway, then continued on the opposite side. As Luigi was crossing it, he suddenly heard a startled shout from his right.
"Oh, Luigi! I didn't see you there."
Luigi turned. Standing a few meters away was Princess Peach's cousin, Princess Daisy. Daisy had long, brown hair as opposed to Peach's blond, and was currently standing in front of the door to her room in a yellow nightgown. Luigi suddenly blushed red.
"Um......hi........Princess........" Luigi stuttered. He slowly drew a circle on the floor with his boot, seeming to find something remarkable in its surface. For some odd reason, he always seemed to get all nervous around Daisy whenever he saw her. It wasn't the same kind of nervousness he got when he was, say, entering Bowser's domain. No, this was a kind that caused butterflies to dance in his stomach and his throat to restrict, preventing him from speaking very easily.
"What are you doing up so early?" Daisy asked, not noticing his change in behavior.
"Um........I........uh....." Think, Luigi, think!
"......I have to....um......go to the bathroom." He finished lamely. Daisy smiled suddenly and gave a short laugh.
"Oh, okay. Sorry to bother you then. You just startled me is all."
"Um......yeah......okay....." Luigi muttered, still unable to look at her directly.
Awkward silence ensued. Luigi tried to keep himself from visibly shaking as Daisy attempted to resume the conversation.
"Well, uh, do you need help finding it or something?"
"Uh......n-no thanks.......I....I think I can find it, th-thanks anyway." Luigi clasped his hands behind his back and scuffed the carpet with his toe, a move that Mario often thought of as his trademark.
"Okay. I'll see you later, then. Bye!" Daisy waved at him with a smile that made Luigi's insides twist themselves into a tight knot, then opened the door and re-entered her room.
Luigi took a deep breath and let out a long, shaky sigh of relief when Daisy was gone. Why did she always make him do that?
He got a grip on himself and resumed walking to the stairway. He reached it, and continued his downward trek. Funny - he never seemed to feel that way around Peach, he thought as he descended. He had first met Daisy when he and Mario, along with Peach and one of her royal guard, managed to rescue her from the evil alien Tatanga when he had invaded her kingdom of Sarasaland. Somehow, just looking at her had made him feel lightheaded. He remembered how ridiculously he had acted when he had seen her for the first time, unable to take his eyes off her as he stuttered like an idiot in response to her questions. He felt embarrassed at the mere memory of it.
But then Peach had suggested that Daisy come to live with her for awhile, so as to gain protection in the form of the Mario Bros. Daisy had been reluctant to leave her kingdom, but had eventually agreed. Luigi frankly still couldn't tell what had eventually made her do so - sure, he and Mario were pretty good fighters, but he doubted that they'd be of much help if the entire Koopa Army suddenly appeared on the doorstep without warning.
Of course, it's not as if Mario was against the decision. In fact, he was probably the most enthusiastic at the idea out of them all. Luigi couldn't understand this. He had asked Mario for an explanation one day, and Mario had given him a strange look and replied that he was simply helping out.
This only made Luigi even more confused, but he finally decided to just let it slide. He was good at doing that, especially since Mario could often make decisions that were simply unexplainable.
He had reached the bottom floor. Pushing the thoughts to the back of his mind to mull over later, Luigi began a casual journey through the castle's numerous hallways.
Then his stomach gave a protesting growl, reminding Luigi what time of day it was.
"Breakfast time!" Luigi chorused in a sing-song tone of voice. He immediately changed his route to take him directly to the kitchen.
He was flying.
How was he flying? Oh, wait - his cap. He felt around on the top of it. Hmmm, it had wings attached to it. They were flapping very fast and very quickly, somehow providing accurate lift to propel his entire body through the air. His arms were held out horizontally to either side of him to provide balance.
He looked down. Wow, he was high up.
He began to laugh in an almost childlike glee as he became filled with the carefree sensation of flight. He tucked his arms tight to his sides and went into a steep dive, streaking down to the flowered fields below. At the very last second he pulled up, his boots barely skimming the petals of the flowers for a second before he ascended back into the sky in a glorious swoop. He let out an enthused cheer as he soared nearer and nearer to the sky.
"Yeeeeeeeeee - haaaaaaaah!"
The thrill of flying making him reckless, he did a tight corkscrew dive followed almost immediately by a loop-de-loop. He whooped in wild joy as he began a series of airborne gymnastics that he could never have possibly accomplished on the ground. He tiptoed across treetops. He flew with a flock of birds. He did a barrel roll through a rainbow at high speed. He soared straight up through the cloud cover and came up above an ocean of billowing white with the most brilliantly blue sky imaginable opening up all around him. He laughed again.
But then he felt himself growing warm. He looked up. The sun was shining directly at him, focusing a beam of its terrible solar energy directly on his cap. He gasped in horror as he heard a sizzling sound, and felt around the top of his cap to find that the wings had been completely burned away.
Then he was falling.
He howled in terror as he felt himself flash downward through the cloud cover, accelerating alarmingly. He continued to scream as he fell unchecked to the ground below.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH............"
Thump.
"Oof!"
Mario groggily opened one eye. The sun was shining through the window directly into his face. He had fallen out of bed.
He attempted to sit up, but his feet were hopelessly tangled in his covers and immobile. He yelled and kicked. He growled and punched. He even tried scrambling to an upright position while still tangled and jumping up and down. But nothing worked. Finally he snorted in annoyance and settled down to work the knots out of the covers that had so securely trapped him. Amazing. The entire Koopa Army couldn't keep him at bay, but a single sheet of fabric had done so all by itself. He shook his head and smiled at the irony of it all.
Then he heard a knock at his door.
Mario looked up, horrified. Oh, no...
Another knock. "Mario? Are you awake?" A muffled feminine voice asked.
Mario redoubled his efforts to escape, fighting, lashing, and straining with all his might to get free. He was absolutely terrified at the thought of someone seeing him like this.
Knock-knock. "Mario?"
"Uh......just a minute!" Mario called to the door in a faint Italian accent. "I'm......um......getting out of bed!"
Well, that was true enough. He snarled angrily as something inside the covers got snagged on his shoe and pulled ferociously against it. He was fighting so hard, he didn't even notice the door open and someone enter the room until he heard a voice behind him ask bewilderedly, "Mario...?"
Mario paused. He looked at the doorway to find, of all people, Princess Peach gazing at him in surprise. She was dressed in a pink gown with white hand lace, red heels, blond hair flowing like a golden river down her back, and her royal jeweled tiara perched atop her head. Her shocked expression was growing more amused by the second as she took in Mario's condition. "Mario," she asked slowly, with a slight grin touching her face, "what are you doing?"
"Er......" Excuses failed him.
Peach couldn't help it. She burst into gales of helpless laughter.
Mario blushed brick red in complete embarrassment. This only caused Peach to laugh harder.
Mario grew angry. Still blushing redder than a tomato, he gave a low growl. "Yeah, yeah, go ahead and laugh......"
Peach finally managed to calm down enough to where she could look at Mario without snickering. At this point she went over to help him untangle himself, still grinning. "I'm sorry." She amended as she kneeled down to work at the covers' knots. "It's just that I needed a good laugh, is all."
Mario looked up at her and some of the red faded from his cheeks. "Is Daisy still leaving?"
Peach's grin faded and she sighed, her shoulders slumping. "Yeah." She replied quietly. "She says that it's not right for her to remain here while her subjects might be in danger. I tried to talk her out of it, but......."
Tears began to well up in her eyes. Mario watched her sympathetically. Many times, Peach wanted to protect her family more importantly than anything, even herself. Which, Mario admitted, was only understandable. After all, the rest of Peach's relatives had been killed in a major war that had occurred before Bowser even rose to power......apart from herself and Daisy, she had no family.
Peach immediately began to blink rapidly and wipe the tears away with her hand, seeming to return to her usual cheerful self. "Anyway," she smiled, "I came up to tell you that breakfast is ready......"
Mario was so deep in thought that it took a few moments for this to register. When it did, his eyes went wide and he immediately leapt to his feet.
"Really??"
Peach nodded, and Mario began to run for the door...
...and fell flat on his face, due to the covers still wrapped around his feet.
"Ow!"
Peach smiled wider. Although sleep was nice and all, eating was the one event that Mario thought of as the most important part of his day. If he didn't eat three times a day (at least), then life in his opinion had simply not been lived to its fullest potential.
Mario slowly climbed back to his feet, holding his nose where it had absorbed the brunt of the impact. "Ouch." He groaned.
Peach giggled and moved over to resume untangling Mario, whom patiently sat and waited while she did so, still holding his3 nose.
"...Peach?" He asked quietly.
"What?" She asked, not looking up from her work.
"I need to ask you something........." He began.
"Yes?" She prompted, eyes still on the sheets.
"Do you...............have an ice pack?" He winced.
Peach looked up, blinked, and suddenly realized that Mario's nose had turned red and had begun to swell.
"Oh!" She exclaimed. "Well, I think so....hang on a second, I'll get a Toad to bring one up when I'm finished with this..." She suddenly turned back to her untangling.
"There! All done!" She exclaimed at last, removing the sheets from around Mario's legs. Mario stood up and stretched. "Oh, wow, does that ever feel better!" He exclaimed, stretching one leg out so far that Peach was sure it was about to grow a foot in length. But it didn't, and now Mario was looking at her with an eager expression on his face. "Now," he began while rubbing his hands together in anticipation, "did I hear you say something about breakfast...." He winced again and held his nose. ".....and an ice pack?"
Peach grinned. Whatever troubles she might have herself, Mario was always able to provide a laugh to cheer her up. "Sure. C'mon."
Castle Toadstool Dining Room, 7:12 AM.
The chef stared in complete amazement. Never, in his entire career as the Royal Cook of Mushroom Kingdom Castle, had he seen something like this.
One of the Mario Brothers was eating.........a salad!!
Of course, the person in question was Luigi, who happened to have a more normal appetite than his older brother. But still.......
Luigi munched happily on his lettuce, radishes, and carrot sticks. Mmmm, vegetables. Ever since Mario had told them of their adventure in Subcon, he'd had a strange craving for them. Yum, delicious....
"Mmf.....by combimentzh........to.......de fhef!" he managed to get out between bites.
"Thank you, sir." The chef replied, still staring wide-eyed at the spectacle.
Suddenly the doors to the dining room swung open to admit Princess Peach, followed closely behind by Mario holding an icepack to his nose. All those currently in the dining room immediately bowed except for Luigi, who stared in puzzlement at his brother, a forgotten carrot stick held halfway to his mouth.
" Do by faunt to fo?" He asked his brother as he approached.
"What?" Mario asked, his expression becoming one of confusion.
Luigi swallowed and said more clearly, "I said, 'Do I want to know?'."
"No," Mario replied while sitting down next to Luigi, "you don't want to know."
Luigi shrugged and went back to eating his salad. Mario wrinkled his nose at Luigi's choice of dish, or at least tried to.
"Bro, how can you stand to eat that stuff?" he finally asked, while looking at a nearby menu. "I mean, the chef has such a wide variety of selections available..."
"Mario, you're drooling again." Luigi whispered quietly to him. "And as for my selection..." he resumed in a normal voice, "...if you're so against vegetables, you and Wart should team up sometime." When Wart had invaded Subcon, they found out that he absolutely hated veggies, and that they had driven the alien off by force-feeding vegetables to him.
Mario got slightly red in the face. "It's not that I don't LIKE them!" He protested, while wiping his mouth with a napkin carefully. "it's just that I'd rather have......um......oh, waiter!" He called, causing a Toad to come scampering over. "Just give me everything on this side of the menu, a little of this, and a little of that." He handed the menu to the waiter, who's eyes had grown as big as the plate in front of Mario. "Um......that might take a while." The waiter replied slowly, waiting for Mario to yell out 'Just kidding!'. He didn't, but instead said, "That's okay. I can wait a little bit."
He attempted to give the menu to the waiter again, who simply stood, completely petrified as the implications of this statement sank in. Mario waved a hand in front of his face, but the waiter didn't move. Mario sighed. "Third time this week." He mumbled as he got up to go give the order directly to the chef himself. Luigi smirked from behind his food, and Peach grinned, having already sat down in her seat across the table.
Once Mario was out of hearing range, Luigi turned to Peach. "So," Luigi began after swallowing his food, "Why was Mario playing Rudolph just now?"
Peach snickered. "Sorry, he made me promise I wouldn't tell you." She replied while wagging a finger at him.
Luigi made a mock-hurt face. "Spoilsport."
Peach grinned. "Nosey!"
Luigi made another face. "Party-pooper!"
Peach giggled like a schoolgirl. "Eavesdropper!"
"Now wait one second!" Luigi interrupted. "I was NOT eavesdropping!"
"So what?" Peach replied while smiling sweetly.
Luigi hmm'd, thinking. "Well, you got me there."
Mario returned to sit back down, this time without the menu. "Okay, the chef got the message. Kinda odd, though - he seemed almost relieved to hear the order."
Peach glanced at them slyly. "Maybe he's glad that at least one of you still has a normal appetite."
"Hey! And just what is THAT supposed to mean?" Luigi protested playfully.
Peach motioned toward his food. "Well, I mean............a salad for breakfast?? Couldn't you wait until lunchtime to eat something like that?"
Luigi looked at his food, thought a moment, then looked back up at Peach.
"Nope." He resumed eating. Peach sighed, then suddenly perked up.
"Why, hello there Daisy!" She called, while waving to someone behind the Bros.
Luigi suddenly choked so hard that Mario had to turn to pound him on the back, and Peach just blinked at them. "What? Was it something I said?" She asked bewilderedly. Then she burst out laughing, seeing Luigi's face.
Luigi had turned beet red, blushing even harder than Mario had earlier. He cut off Peach's laughter abruptly by mumbling something about being full, standing up from the table, throwing down his napkin, and suddenly racing out of the room.
Mario sat, stunned for a moment, before looking at Peach, and then getting up to follow his brother. "Hey! Bro! Wait up!" He could be heard calling as he exited through the dining room doors.
Peach sat, slightly taken aback by Luigi's reaction. What had that been all about?
Realization suddenly came to her in a flash.
......oh Luigi, I'm so sorry......
The waiter suddenly came to life. "Yes, sir! I'll go tell the chef right now, sir!" He cried out in a slightly panicky tone of voice before running as fast as possible back to the kitchen. As he ran through the kitchen doors, he brushed past Daisy, who was standing in front of them gazing in shock at the door Luigi had left through. She had seen everything.
"Luigi! Hey, wait up, for Pete's sake!"
Luigi ignored this request and continued to walk, stiff-legged, an angry expression on his face. He didn't know where he was going, but he didn't care.
"Luigi!"
The nerve of her! How could she make fun of him like that?
"Hey, Weege!"
How come he always got teased? How come he was always the one to get picked on?
"LUIGI!"
It's not like he asked to be the comic relief, was it? Heck, Mario never had to put up with anything like that!
"FOR THE LOVE OF FUNGUS, SLOW DOWN ALREADY!!"
Luigi finally acknowledged his brother's presence and stopped, turning around to face him.
"What." He asked, his face a thundercloud.
Mario cringed slightly at his brother's expression. Oy, this would be difficult.
Mario stopped next to Luigi and spent a few seconds catching his breath. Then he paused, trying to decide the best way to phrase what he wanted to say. "Look Luigi," he burst out at last, "I know you're mad at Peach and all, but..."
"Mad doesn't even begin to describe it!" Luigi cried out shrilly. "I'm furious! No, INCENSED!"
"...but why?" Mario continued. "It was a joke. You and I both know that."
"Peach has NO RIGHT to tease me about Daisy like that! I don't CARE if she's the heir of Mushroom Kingdom, I'll - "
Mario interrupted him in mid-rant. "Wait a minute." He said with an arched eyebrow. "Why doesn't she have a right to joke about Daisy? You, me, and Peach joke about each other all the time, and Daisy's just the same as the rest of us."
"No, she's NOT!" Luigi replied hotly. "She's nice, and smart, and kind, and witty, and beautiful......"
He trailed off, noticing how Mario was looking at him knowingly. "What?"
He never got to find out, because at that moment a deep, vibrant rumbling echoed throughout the castle, followed quickly by violent shaking which threw both brothers to the floor. Luigi yelled in surprise, but Mario didn't say anything, his startled expression suddenly changing to one of knowing dread.
Another rumble shook the hallway, throwing doors open and spilling various objects out into the hallway. Luigi performed a Super Jump over a table on a collision course with him, and looked around for Mario. "Mario? Hey, where are you? Mario??"
Luigi caught a glimpse of a brown boot rounding a corner in the hall back the way they had come. "Mario!" Luigi began to run after him. Where was he going?
Luigi had rounded the corner in the hall and was almost to the Dining Room when a third, more powerful tremor rocked the floor, cracked the walls, and caused part of the ceiling to collapse.
Luigi yelped and ducked to the ground as huge chunks of plaster and mortar smashed to the ground around him. He looked up and noticed a particularly large piece headed directly for his head. He gave out a high "Eek!" of surprise and rolled out of the way just in time. Scrambling to his feet, he stumbled back to the Dining Room as fast as the rocking floor would allow. "Mario! Princess! Wait!!"
"What the heck is going on?!" Daisy burst out in confusion.
It had taken a few moments for her and Peach to get over their shock. The abrupt departure of the Mario Bros. had somewhat taken them by surprise.
"I...I think when I said hello to you just now....that Luigi thought I was teasing him." Peach replied slowly.
Daisy cocked her head curiously and approached her cousin at the table. "Why would he think that about you? I thought you guys were friends."
"We are. But...." Peach ducked her head in embarrassment, "I have this reputation for playing, um, jokes on them." She smiled sheepishly.
Daisy grinned in dry amusement as she sat down across from Peach and leaned forward, propping her chin up on her hands. "You? My cousin? A practical joker? HA!" She laughed lightly. "Tell me, then. Why was Luigi so mad about that joke, if you've kidded with them so often?"
Peach looked again at the doorway that the plumbers had left through. "......I don't know......"
It was at that exact moment, while Peach was staring in puzzlement at the doorway and thinking of what reasons Luigi could have for his anger, while Daisy was looking at Peach with a smile and trying to imagine her pulling pranks on the Bros., and while the chef was walking calmly through the kitchen doors to announce that the food was finally ready, that all hell broke loose.
The wall behind Peach exploded outward with a blast of forcibly expelled brick and mortar. Peach was thrown clear across the table and into Daisy by the force of the eruption, and Daisy, in turn, was thrown into the wall along with Peach by the resulting shockwave. Both princesses collapsed in a heap on the floor, the impact momentarily stunning them.
The table itself went flying as another explosion happened right next to it, shattering it into a thousand sharp wood pieces and scattering them every which way. The shockwave blazed through the castle like a tidal wave of power and wind, completely destroying the interior Dining Room decorations while sending chairs, plates, and silverware flying all over the room. Through all the smoke and haze, figures could be seen emerging from the newly-made hole in the wall and converging on the area where the princesses lay. Peach groggily lifted up her head to look at the invaders. Some of them appeared short, brown and triangular, while the others were rather tall and round. They seemed oddly familiar....
She jerked fully awake as she recognized them. Koopa Troopas! And Goombas!
She screamed (more out of surprise than fear), and immediately picked up one of the closer Goombas to throw at the rest of the incoming baddies. The Goomba collided with a row of Koopas all marching single-file, knocking them down one after the other like dominoes. But the triumph was short- lived, as there were more of the turtles and mushrooms-turned-bad to replace the felled ones every second. Peach dropped to Daisy's side and frantically tried to revive her as the mutant plants and animals got closer.
"Daisy! Get up! Come on, wake up!!" Peach cried, shaking her cousin by the shoulders and patting her gently on the face while casting furtive glances over her shoulder. "Get up, Daisy! They're almost here!"
"Who's almost here?" Daisy asked faintly as her eyes fluttered open and she sat up, cradling her forehead in her hands. "Oh, my achin' everything...."
"Daisy, get up!! The Koopa Troop is here!!" Peach yelled, panicking.
Daisy's head snapped up to stare at Peach, her eyes wide. "What?"
"GREETINGS, PRINCESSES!" A booming voice shouted over the deafening sound of marching feet.
"I HOPE WE AREN"T INTERRUPTING ANYTHING BY PAYING YOU A LITTLE VISIT LIKE THIS!"
Peach and Daisy stood up and scanned the room for the voice's source. "There!" Daisy shouted, pointing at a spot above the heads of the Koopa Army.
Floating there in the air was a certain familiar Koopa Troopa wearing glasses, blue robes, and a pointed blue hat. He was riding a flying broomstick that was keeping him aloft, and he was clutching both the broomstick and an oddly-shaped magic wand in one hand while holding a megaphone up to his mouth with the other.
"KAMEK!" Both princesses shouted in unison.
The troops suddenly ceased their advancing to wait for their leader's order, standing in perfect row formation with their feet together, their backs straight, and their faces expressionless. Daisy shuddered. Creepy.
The Koopa Wizard chuckled, and the noise floated out of the megaphone throughout the whole room. "YES, THAT'S RIGHT! IT IS I, THE ALL-POWERFUL, ALL-KNOWING, ALL-ENCOMPASSING..."
"...All-Bigheaded..." Daisy murmured to Peach.
"....KAMEK THE ALMIGHTY!!" The flying Koopa finished with a flourish.
The Dining Room went dead silent for three seconds, during which the princesses slowly turned their heads to look at each other.
Simultaneously they burst out laughing.
"See this?" Daisy asked as she held up her hands in the shape of a square to frame her face. "This is me not caring. Twenty coins says we kick your scaly mutant butt within the hour."
"'Kamek the Almighty'?" Peach sniggered. "Who came up with that load of crap, huh? Wait, don't tell me. The little voices in your head did, right?"
Behind his spectacles, Kamek blinked. This wasn't the reaction he had been expecting at all.
"Or better yet," Peach continued, "How about your mom? She probably would be lame enough to come up with something like that, since she raised _you_ and all."
Kamek began to slowly get red in the face. Nobody had ever dared insult his parents before.
Peach had never really been that good at insults. Unfortunately for Kamek, however, Daisy was there to back her up. "No, wait, I've got it." The brown- haired princess jutted in with a smile. "It was Barney the Dinosaur! He, Big Bird, and Mr. Rogers teamed up to put that one together for you!" Peach was rolling on the floor with laughter at that one, and Daisy grinned up at the furious Wizard Koopa. "I've just solved the mystery of your inspiration for you, Kamek old boy! You owe me a beer."
Kamek roared in fury. That last one had snapped it all for him. "SHY SQUAD, ATTACK!!!" He bellowed.
Daisy's grin faded and Peach leaped back to her feet. They looked at each other. Shy squad?
What was that?
They got their answer a moment later, as a large group of Flying Shy Guys and Parakoopas swooped down on them from above.
Daisy yelled and rolled out of the way as one of the winged Koopa Troopas grabbed at her. Peach shrieked in surprise but quickly recovered, grabbing the legs of a passing Shy Guy and swinging it around in a wide circle to throw headlong into the ranks of the unmoving Koopa Army. The lines of Goombas and Koopas were still standing silently up ahead of her, but began moving again when the hapless Shy Guy came crashing into them. Peach had thrown the Shy Guy with such force that it managed to ram through the first three rows of turtles and Goombas before finally slowing and falling to the ground, completely unconscious.
Kamek howled in frustration as the Princesses began applying Martial-Arts skills against the Shy Squad, beating them back with room to spare. "BOMB- OMBERS, ATTACK!"
Peach looked up from slapping a Parakoopa senseless to see a fleet of Koopas floating on tiny clouds enter the room, float up to near the ceiling, and begin tossing Bomb-ombs (walking bombs with eyes) down at the scene below. "Daisy, look out!"
Daisy looked straight up at the call and saw a Bomb-omb falling directly at her. "AAAHHH!" She screamed, jumping to the side as the Bomb-omb exploded where she had been a second before.
Kamek yelled a war-cry, rallying his troops for battle. "CHARGE!!"
This was the order the Goombas and Koopas had been waiting for. They surged forward as one sea of enemies, not caring that the last Bomb-omb explosion had damaged the walls and ceiling, which was in danger of collapsing. They didn't care that the Princesses were throwing enemies at them left and right, knocking several of their numbers down and out. They didn't care about anything, except accomplishing their goal. They echoed Kamek's battle cry, filling the room from wall to wall with their mass, blotting out any chance for escape. And they were headed straight for the Princesses.
Luigi stumbled as the floor began shaking again, and just barely managed to dodge out of the way as a chandelier hanging overhead came loose from its supports and crashed to the floor. The entire structure was made of intricately carved crystal and glass, designed to catch, direct and amplify light given off by it into a kaleidoscope of shimmering colors. But the only thing about it that Luigi was concerned with at the moment was not being torn to shreds by its flying shrapnel.
Luigi paused, panting for breath, and a little shaken after his close call. The chandelier had been directly above him when it fell. Had he not looked up at that moment, it would've...
He decided not to think about it. He got to his feet and was about to resume his chase after Mario when he heard a distinctive, all-too-familiar high cackle emanate from an unseen source somewhere near him. He leaped away from the place where it seemed to be coming from, but he couldn't see anything there. Then another cackle echoed the first, this time somewhere to Luigi's right. He leaped away from that, too, back toward the hallway and away from the direction that Mario had gone.
Luigi grimaced as he once again heard the sound of the laughter, this time in stereo from two different locations. An invisible source was making the noise. So, the only two things it could be are either something that has been somehow cloaked to be invisible, or ghosts. And considering how angry spirits are often employed by Bowser into the Koopa Troop, Luigi opted to believe the latter.
Hmm...ghosts...
......well, he could do something about that......
Luigi immediately spun on his heel and raced back down the hallway toward his' and Mario's room, and away from the sinister cackling. He only hoped that he would be able to set his plan going in time.
Mario knew, the very moment the first tremor hit. Somehow, he knew immediately what was going on. Far too long had he been subjected to this type of situation to not know when it was starting to happen again. He leaped to his feet after falling down when the third tremor rocked the castle's foundations and bolted back to the Dining Room, hoping he wasn't too late.
He rounded the corner and the Dining Room came into view. Mario pulled up short, staring in shock.
The place looked as if a tornado had hit it. Silverware, pieces of dishes, and broken glass littered the floor everywhere. Tiny piles of food were thrown in for a little variety, along with the occasional piece from the walls. An enormous hole in the right wall stretched from where the wall met the floor to encompass a part of the ceiling. Mario could see the second floor above through it. The grand oaken table that had been placed directly in the middle of the room was nowhere to be seen, but Mario got an idea of what had happened to it as he noticed wood pieces intermingled with the rest of the debris. Cracked, broken chairs were piled haphazardly in corners where the shockwaves had dumped them. And everywhere, there were Koopa soldiers. He'd arrived in time to catch a glimpse of several Shy Guys, Koopa Troopas, Goombas, and Bomb-ombs converge upon Princess Peach and Princess Daisy. The cousins were fighting rather well, knocking down enemies left and right, helping each other take down what they alone couldn't handle. But more troops were arriving through the huge hole, and soon the Princesses would be overwhelmed.
Without pausing for a second, Mario immediately leapt into action. Literally. He jumped high into the air, coming down directly on top of a Goomba and flattening it into a pancake. The impact bounced him back up into the air, and he aimed for another enemy. He repeated this process on a series of closely-batched Koopa Troops until he finally landed on the ground to rest. He looked up.
A line of Boos was entering the room through the hole and floating toward the large group of enemies at the room's other end, where Mario realized the Princesses must be. Mario bit back a curse. Boos were the only enemy that he couldn't defeat by normal methods, as they'd turn invisible at the slightest hint of hostility. Crap......Now what was he going to do?
He got his answer a second later, as there suddenly came a shout from the Dining Room entrance. "HEY, BOOS!"
The ghosts suddenly stopped and turned to see whom was addressing them.
Luigi stood framed in the doorway, fury written all over his face, and an enormous vacuum cleaner strapped onto his back. He was holding the nozzle in both hands like a sword, and aiming it directly at the line of Boos.
"YOU SUCK!" He finished, flicking the vacuum's switch to 'on'. The vacuum began to draw in air rapidly, pulling the ghosts toward it.
Comprehension dawned on Mario's face. Luigi was using the Poltergust 2000 he had received after their last adventure in a haunted mansion. It was a special ghost-capturing device that trapped ghosts in the dustbag, and he was now using it to get rid of the Boos. He cheered Luigi on as Boo after Boo began getting pulled into the vacuum, and he resumed attacking with renewed vigor.
"C'mon, Daisy!" Peach yelled as she tossed a Bomb-omb at a swarm of enemies, blowing them all to Kingdom Come. "Let's kick some Koopa!!"
"Way ahead of you, girl!" Daisy replied while doing a few Judo kicks at some enemies, knocking them out. "These guys are going down! Hai-yah!"
The tide of battle might have turned to the Princesses' favor, if a Parakoopa hadn't swooped down and snatched up Peach without warning.
"Huh?! Eeek! Help!" She managed to yell before the winged Koopa Troopa clamped a hand over her mouth and silenced her.
Daisy looked up at Peach's call. "What the - ? Oh, crap! PEACH!" She ran underneath the flying Koopa, yelling curses and ordering it to give Peach back.
While Daisy was momentarily distracted, a large group of Shy Guys suddenly leapt onto her. She didn't even get the chance to cry out, as they pretty much buried her under their weight almost immediately. After they had gotten a grip on her, they got off and hauled her to her feet. She came up fighting, kicking and struggling for all she was worth, but her efforts were pretty much wasted as there were so many of them. Finally, she chose to bite the hand that had been muffling her shouts and screamed out at the top of her lungs,
"LUIGI, HELP!!!"
The plumber in question had just been finishing off the last of the Boos when he heard his name be called. Well, more like screamed. Suddenly alarmed, he began to race over to where he had heard the cry come from, then stopped and took off the Poltergust 2000, as it was slowing him down with its weight. He resumed running toward the source of the noise at a much faster pace. In the process, he collided with Mario, whom had heard the same call and come running. Both Bros. tumbled to the ground in a heap, and were instantly beset by dozens of enemies.
Luigi yelled in surprise and began lashing out in all directions at once, eyes closed tight in fright. Mario threw the enemies off him in a surge of strength and caught Luigi's flailing fists. "Luigi! Come on! They've got Peach and Daisy!"
At Daisy's name Luigi's eyes went wide. He suddenly leaped up and dashed toward the area where the Princesses were, yelling at the Koopas every name he could think of and smacking across the room those who dared to get in his way. Shaking his head at his brother's tactics, Mario followed.
Kamek floated near Daisy's face and grinned wickedly. "You, my dear," He spoke without the megaphone, "are going to pay very dearly for that little remark earlier." After a moment of thought and a sinister grin, he added, "You also owe me twenty coins." He pointed his magic wand at Daisy and chanted something under his breath. In a rush of shining sparkles, she disappeared. In the background, Luigi gave an outraged cry that Kamek ignored. Then Kamek turned to Peach. "And now you shall join her." He cackled. He performed the same spell on her, instantly teleporting her away in the blink of an eye. Down below, Mario yelled in outright anger.
Kamek finally noticed the Mario Brothers and laughed. He whipped out his megaphone again and spoke.
"HELLO DOWN THERE! HOW'S LIFE?"
Mario and Luigi didn't reply save for the stream of obscenities they were now firing at him. Kamek grinned.
"Y'KNOW, JUDGING FROM YOUR CURRENT TONES OF VOICE, ONE WOULD THINK YOU'VE GOT SOME PENT-UP HOSTILITY AIMED TOWARDS ME."
"Shut the $&%* up, you #@%$&!!!" Luigi screamed at Kamek, who roared with laughter.
"Give them BACK, Kamek!!" Mario added.
Kamek gave the Bros. a mock-pout. "AW, BUT I WAS GONNA PLAY 'MONOPOLY' WITH 'EM! IT'S REALLY BORING PLAYING BY YOURSELF, YA KNOW......"
Kamek dodged the Super Jump that Luigi had aimed for him.
"HEH. ALL RIGHT, NO NEED TO GET FIDGETY. IF YOU WANT THEM, YOU'LL HAVE TO COME AND GET 'EM!" And with that, the MagiKoopa conjured up a glowing blue portal behind himself and soared through it. Luigi immediately jumped after him, with Mario in close pursuit. Mario grabbed hold of his brother's boot as they soared through the portal. "Luigi, wait! It could be a tra--"
His sentence was cut off as they entered the portal.
Then everything went white......
By Stoney (stoney107@yahoo.com)
Chapter One
Red--Handed
Castle Toadstool, 6:38 AM.
Pale gray light illuminated the pink roof of the castle, preceding the brilliant golden light-show of dawn. Birds twittered and fluttered past the window looking into the room of the Mario Bros., singing their personal anthems as a wake-up call to all who heard them. Dewdrops beaded the long grass below as all Earth's creatures on this side of the globe arose for the day. And at the window, someone watched it all.
Some people thought this time of the day was best used for sleeping through. Luigi, however, thought differently.
He loved every part of the mornings. Especially the sunrises. He would start every day that he had off work by getting up early and coming out to the balcony outside his and Mario's house. There, he'd watch the glowing red sun slowly inch up over the horizon, spreading its fingertips of rose throughout the brightening sky. And now that they were once again visiting the princess' castle, he refused to break the habit. It was a time of the day that just seemed so peaceful, so quiet, so........
A loud snore from the room behind Luigi crashed into his thoughts. The snore was followed quickly by another, then some snorting and coughing, before resuming again.
Luigi frowned irritably. On the other hand, Mario could never be bothered to get up at such an hour.
He clapped his hands over his ears, trying to stifle out the snores; it did no good. Mario's snoring, according to Luigi, barely beat out air-raid sirens, fingernails on chalkboards, and heavy metal music as the #1 Loudest and Most Annoying Sound On the Planet. Finally he gave up and attempted to ignore it. This was also impossible, as Mario had now started wheezing to accompany his snoring. Luigi gritted his teeth.
No. He mustn't. He couldn't wake Mario up now because of something like this. Although Mario was normally a rather nice and easygoing guy, his sleep was one thing he held great importance in, and anyone who would attempt to take it away from him would usually pay, and pay dearly.
In other words, if Luigi woke him up (especially this early), Mario would probably throttle him in a sleepy rage. Luigi growled in annoyance as the snoring doubled in volume. It was a miracle Mario hadn't woken up half the neighborhood for miles around already.
Finally Luigi opted for an early morning stroll to get away from the noise. He walked back into the room where he and Mario slept whenever they visited Princess Peach's castle, grabbed his work clothes from his suitcase and put them on, snatched his cap up from its' peg on the wall, and walked out the door, shutting it quietly even though there was no need for it.
He found himself in a hallway that was painted completely in shades of pink. Luigi smiled slightly. He had never really understood Peach's bizarre fascination with that color. Of course, he thought while looking at himself, he had never really understood his own preference to green, either.
Luigi padded softly down the hallway, attempting to make as little noise as possible. Another deafening snore emitted from his and Mario's room behind him and he stopped, sighing. Aw, who was he kidding? Mario could wake up the entire castle before he even made a peep. Dunno how the castle's other residents - mainly Peach - put up with it. He shrugged off the thought and resumed walking, this time at a normal pace. Eventually, he came to a staircase perpendicular to the hallway. With the snores he knew to belong to his brother now faint and far away behind him, Luigi began to descend.
Halfway down, the stairway intersected with another hallway, then continued on the opposite side. As Luigi was crossing it, he suddenly heard a startled shout from his right.
"Oh, Luigi! I didn't see you there."
Luigi turned. Standing a few meters away was Princess Peach's cousin, Princess Daisy. Daisy had long, brown hair as opposed to Peach's blond, and was currently standing in front of the door to her room in a yellow nightgown. Luigi suddenly blushed red.
"Um......hi........Princess........" Luigi stuttered. He slowly drew a circle on the floor with his boot, seeming to find something remarkable in its surface. For some odd reason, he always seemed to get all nervous around Daisy whenever he saw her. It wasn't the same kind of nervousness he got when he was, say, entering Bowser's domain. No, this was a kind that caused butterflies to dance in his stomach and his throat to restrict, preventing him from speaking very easily.
"What are you doing up so early?" Daisy asked, not noticing his change in behavior.
"Um........I........uh....." Think, Luigi, think!
"......I have to....um......go to the bathroom." He finished lamely. Daisy smiled suddenly and gave a short laugh.
"Oh, okay. Sorry to bother you then. You just startled me is all."
"Um......yeah......okay....." Luigi muttered, still unable to look at her directly.
Awkward silence ensued. Luigi tried to keep himself from visibly shaking as Daisy attempted to resume the conversation.
"Well, uh, do you need help finding it or something?"
"Uh......n-no thanks.......I....I think I can find it, th-thanks anyway." Luigi clasped his hands behind his back and scuffed the carpet with his toe, a move that Mario often thought of as his trademark.
"Okay. I'll see you later, then. Bye!" Daisy waved at him with a smile that made Luigi's insides twist themselves into a tight knot, then opened the door and re-entered her room.
Luigi took a deep breath and let out a long, shaky sigh of relief when Daisy was gone. Why did she always make him do that?
He got a grip on himself and resumed walking to the stairway. He reached it, and continued his downward trek. Funny - he never seemed to feel that way around Peach, he thought as he descended. He had first met Daisy when he and Mario, along with Peach and one of her royal guard, managed to rescue her from the evil alien Tatanga when he had invaded her kingdom of Sarasaland. Somehow, just looking at her had made him feel lightheaded. He remembered how ridiculously he had acted when he had seen her for the first time, unable to take his eyes off her as he stuttered like an idiot in response to her questions. He felt embarrassed at the mere memory of it.
But then Peach had suggested that Daisy come to live with her for awhile, so as to gain protection in the form of the Mario Bros. Daisy had been reluctant to leave her kingdom, but had eventually agreed. Luigi frankly still couldn't tell what had eventually made her do so - sure, he and Mario were pretty good fighters, but he doubted that they'd be of much help if the entire Koopa Army suddenly appeared on the doorstep without warning.
Of course, it's not as if Mario was against the decision. In fact, he was probably the most enthusiastic at the idea out of them all. Luigi couldn't understand this. He had asked Mario for an explanation one day, and Mario had given him a strange look and replied that he was simply helping out.
This only made Luigi even more confused, but he finally decided to just let it slide. He was good at doing that, especially since Mario could often make decisions that were simply unexplainable.
He had reached the bottom floor. Pushing the thoughts to the back of his mind to mull over later, Luigi began a casual journey through the castle's numerous hallways.
Then his stomach gave a protesting growl, reminding Luigi what time of day it was.
"Breakfast time!" Luigi chorused in a sing-song tone of voice. He immediately changed his route to take him directly to the kitchen.
He was flying.
How was he flying? Oh, wait - his cap. He felt around on the top of it. Hmmm, it had wings attached to it. They were flapping very fast and very quickly, somehow providing accurate lift to propel his entire body through the air. His arms were held out horizontally to either side of him to provide balance.
He looked down. Wow, he was high up.
He began to laugh in an almost childlike glee as he became filled with the carefree sensation of flight. He tucked his arms tight to his sides and went into a steep dive, streaking down to the flowered fields below. At the very last second he pulled up, his boots barely skimming the petals of the flowers for a second before he ascended back into the sky in a glorious swoop. He let out an enthused cheer as he soared nearer and nearer to the sky.
"Yeeeeeeeeee - haaaaaaaah!"
The thrill of flying making him reckless, he did a tight corkscrew dive followed almost immediately by a loop-de-loop. He whooped in wild joy as he began a series of airborne gymnastics that he could never have possibly accomplished on the ground. He tiptoed across treetops. He flew with a flock of birds. He did a barrel roll through a rainbow at high speed. He soared straight up through the cloud cover and came up above an ocean of billowing white with the most brilliantly blue sky imaginable opening up all around him. He laughed again.
But then he felt himself growing warm. He looked up. The sun was shining directly at him, focusing a beam of its terrible solar energy directly on his cap. He gasped in horror as he heard a sizzling sound, and felt around the top of his cap to find that the wings had been completely burned away.
Then he was falling.
He howled in terror as he felt himself flash downward through the cloud cover, accelerating alarmingly. He continued to scream as he fell unchecked to the ground below.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH............"
Thump.
"Oof!"
Mario groggily opened one eye. The sun was shining through the window directly into his face. He had fallen out of bed.
He attempted to sit up, but his feet were hopelessly tangled in his covers and immobile. He yelled and kicked. He growled and punched. He even tried scrambling to an upright position while still tangled and jumping up and down. But nothing worked. Finally he snorted in annoyance and settled down to work the knots out of the covers that had so securely trapped him. Amazing. The entire Koopa Army couldn't keep him at bay, but a single sheet of fabric had done so all by itself. He shook his head and smiled at the irony of it all.
Then he heard a knock at his door.
Mario looked up, horrified. Oh, no...
Another knock. "Mario? Are you awake?" A muffled feminine voice asked.
Mario redoubled his efforts to escape, fighting, lashing, and straining with all his might to get free. He was absolutely terrified at the thought of someone seeing him like this.
Knock-knock. "Mario?"
"Uh......just a minute!" Mario called to the door in a faint Italian accent. "I'm......um......getting out of bed!"
Well, that was true enough. He snarled angrily as something inside the covers got snagged on his shoe and pulled ferociously against it. He was fighting so hard, he didn't even notice the door open and someone enter the room until he heard a voice behind him ask bewilderedly, "Mario...?"
Mario paused. He looked at the doorway to find, of all people, Princess Peach gazing at him in surprise. She was dressed in a pink gown with white hand lace, red heels, blond hair flowing like a golden river down her back, and her royal jeweled tiara perched atop her head. Her shocked expression was growing more amused by the second as she took in Mario's condition. "Mario," she asked slowly, with a slight grin touching her face, "what are you doing?"
"Er......" Excuses failed him.
Peach couldn't help it. She burst into gales of helpless laughter.
Mario blushed brick red in complete embarrassment. This only caused Peach to laugh harder.
Mario grew angry. Still blushing redder than a tomato, he gave a low growl. "Yeah, yeah, go ahead and laugh......"
Peach finally managed to calm down enough to where she could look at Mario without snickering. At this point she went over to help him untangle himself, still grinning. "I'm sorry." She amended as she kneeled down to work at the covers' knots. "It's just that I needed a good laugh, is all."
Mario looked up at her and some of the red faded from his cheeks. "Is Daisy still leaving?"
Peach's grin faded and she sighed, her shoulders slumping. "Yeah." She replied quietly. "She says that it's not right for her to remain here while her subjects might be in danger. I tried to talk her out of it, but......."
Tears began to well up in her eyes. Mario watched her sympathetically. Many times, Peach wanted to protect her family more importantly than anything, even herself. Which, Mario admitted, was only understandable. After all, the rest of Peach's relatives had been killed in a major war that had occurred before Bowser even rose to power......apart from herself and Daisy, she had no family.
Peach immediately began to blink rapidly and wipe the tears away with her hand, seeming to return to her usual cheerful self. "Anyway," she smiled, "I came up to tell you that breakfast is ready......"
Mario was so deep in thought that it took a few moments for this to register. When it did, his eyes went wide and he immediately leapt to his feet.
"Really??"
Peach nodded, and Mario began to run for the door...
...and fell flat on his face, due to the covers still wrapped around his feet.
"Ow!"
Peach smiled wider. Although sleep was nice and all, eating was the one event that Mario thought of as the most important part of his day. If he didn't eat three times a day (at least), then life in his opinion had simply not been lived to its fullest potential.
Mario slowly climbed back to his feet, holding his nose where it had absorbed the brunt of the impact. "Ouch." He groaned.
Peach giggled and moved over to resume untangling Mario, whom patiently sat and waited while she did so, still holding his3 nose.
"...Peach?" He asked quietly.
"What?" She asked, not looking up from her work.
"I need to ask you something........." He began.
"Yes?" She prompted, eyes still on the sheets.
"Do you...............have an ice pack?" He winced.
Peach looked up, blinked, and suddenly realized that Mario's nose had turned red and had begun to swell.
"Oh!" She exclaimed. "Well, I think so....hang on a second, I'll get a Toad to bring one up when I'm finished with this..." She suddenly turned back to her untangling.
"There! All done!" She exclaimed at last, removing the sheets from around Mario's legs. Mario stood up and stretched. "Oh, wow, does that ever feel better!" He exclaimed, stretching one leg out so far that Peach was sure it was about to grow a foot in length. But it didn't, and now Mario was looking at her with an eager expression on his face. "Now," he began while rubbing his hands together in anticipation, "did I hear you say something about breakfast...." He winced again and held his nose. ".....and an ice pack?"
Peach grinned. Whatever troubles she might have herself, Mario was always able to provide a laugh to cheer her up. "Sure. C'mon."
Castle Toadstool Dining Room, 7:12 AM.
The chef stared in complete amazement. Never, in his entire career as the Royal Cook of Mushroom Kingdom Castle, had he seen something like this.
One of the Mario Brothers was eating.........a salad!!
Of course, the person in question was Luigi, who happened to have a more normal appetite than his older brother. But still.......
Luigi munched happily on his lettuce, radishes, and carrot sticks. Mmmm, vegetables. Ever since Mario had told them of their adventure in Subcon, he'd had a strange craving for them. Yum, delicious....
"Mmf.....by combimentzh........to.......de fhef!" he managed to get out between bites.
"Thank you, sir." The chef replied, still staring wide-eyed at the spectacle.
Suddenly the doors to the dining room swung open to admit Princess Peach, followed closely behind by Mario holding an icepack to his nose. All those currently in the dining room immediately bowed except for Luigi, who stared in puzzlement at his brother, a forgotten carrot stick held halfway to his mouth.
" Do by faunt to fo?" He asked his brother as he approached.
"What?" Mario asked, his expression becoming one of confusion.
Luigi swallowed and said more clearly, "I said, 'Do I want to know?'."
"No," Mario replied while sitting down next to Luigi, "you don't want to know."
Luigi shrugged and went back to eating his salad. Mario wrinkled his nose at Luigi's choice of dish, or at least tried to.
"Bro, how can you stand to eat that stuff?" he finally asked, while looking at a nearby menu. "I mean, the chef has such a wide variety of selections available..."
"Mario, you're drooling again." Luigi whispered quietly to him. "And as for my selection..." he resumed in a normal voice, "...if you're so against vegetables, you and Wart should team up sometime." When Wart had invaded Subcon, they found out that he absolutely hated veggies, and that they had driven the alien off by force-feeding vegetables to him.
Mario got slightly red in the face. "It's not that I don't LIKE them!" He protested, while wiping his mouth with a napkin carefully. "it's just that I'd rather have......um......oh, waiter!" He called, causing a Toad to come scampering over. "Just give me everything on this side of the menu, a little of this, and a little of that." He handed the menu to the waiter, who's eyes had grown as big as the plate in front of Mario. "Um......that might take a while." The waiter replied slowly, waiting for Mario to yell out 'Just kidding!'. He didn't, but instead said, "That's okay. I can wait a little bit."
He attempted to give the menu to the waiter again, who simply stood, completely petrified as the implications of this statement sank in. Mario waved a hand in front of his face, but the waiter didn't move. Mario sighed. "Third time this week." He mumbled as he got up to go give the order directly to the chef himself. Luigi smirked from behind his food, and Peach grinned, having already sat down in her seat across the table.
Once Mario was out of hearing range, Luigi turned to Peach. "So," Luigi began after swallowing his food, "Why was Mario playing Rudolph just now?"
Peach snickered. "Sorry, he made me promise I wouldn't tell you." She replied while wagging a finger at him.
Luigi made a mock-hurt face. "Spoilsport."
Peach grinned. "Nosey!"
Luigi made another face. "Party-pooper!"
Peach giggled like a schoolgirl. "Eavesdropper!"
"Now wait one second!" Luigi interrupted. "I was NOT eavesdropping!"
"So what?" Peach replied while smiling sweetly.
Luigi hmm'd, thinking. "Well, you got me there."
Mario returned to sit back down, this time without the menu. "Okay, the chef got the message. Kinda odd, though - he seemed almost relieved to hear the order."
Peach glanced at them slyly. "Maybe he's glad that at least one of you still has a normal appetite."
"Hey! And just what is THAT supposed to mean?" Luigi protested playfully.
Peach motioned toward his food. "Well, I mean............a salad for breakfast?? Couldn't you wait until lunchtime to eat something like that?"
Luigi looked at his food, thought a moment, then looked back up at Peach.
"Nope." He resumed eating. Peach sighed, then suddenly perked up.
"Why, hello there Daisy!" She called, while waving to someone behind the Bros.
Luigi suddenly choked so hard that Mario had to turn to pound him on the back, and Peach just blinked at them. "What? Was it something I said?" She asked bewilderedly. Then she burst out laughing, seeing Luigi's face.
Luigi had turned beet red, blushing even harder than Mario had earlier. He cut off Peach's laughter abruptly by mumbling something about being full, standing up from the table, throwing down his napkin, and suddenly racing out of the room.
Mario sat, stunned for a moment, before looking at Peach, and then getting up to follow his brother. "Hey! Bro! Wait up!" He could be heard calling as he exited through the dining room doors.
Peach sat, slightly taken aback by Luigi's reaction. What had that been all about?
Realization suddenly came to her in a flash.
......oh Luigi, I'm so sorry......
The waiter suddenly came to life. "Yes, sir! I'll go tell the chef right now, sir!" He cried out in a slightly panicky tone of voice before running as fast as possible back to the kitchen. As he ran through the kitchen doors, he brushed past Daisy, who was standing in front of them gazing in shock at the door Luigi had left through. She had seen everything.
"Luigi! Hey, wait up, for Pete's sake!"
Luigi ignored this request and continued to walk, stiff-legged, an angry expression on his face. He didn't know where he was going, but he didn't care.
"Luigi!"
The nerve of her! How could she make fun of him like that?
"Hey, Weege!"
How come he always got teased? How come he was always the one to get picked on?
"LUIGI!"
It's not like he asked to be the comic relief, was it? Heck, Mario never had to put up with anything like that!
"FOR THE LOVE OF FUNGUS, SLOW DOWN ALREADY!!"
Luigi finally acknowledged his brother's presence and stopped, turning around to face him.
"What." He asked, his face a thundercloud.
Mario cringed slightly at his brother's expression. Oy, this would be difficult.
Mario stopped next to Luigi and spent a few seconds catching his breath. Then he paused, trying to decide the best way to phrase what he wanted to say. "Look Luigi," he burst out at last, "I know you're mad at Peach and all, but..."
"Mad doesn't even begin to describe it!" Luigi cried out shrilly. "I'm furious! No, INCENSED!"
"...but why?" Mario continued. "It was a joke. You and I both know that."
"Peach has NO RIGHT to tease me about Daisy like that! I don't CARE if she's the heir of Mushroom Kingdom, I'll - "
Mario interrupted him in mid-rant. "Wait a minute." He said with an arched eyebrow. "Why doesn't she have a right to joke about Daisy? You, me, and Peach joke about each other all the time, and Daisy's just the same as the rest of us."
"No, she's NOT!" Luigi replied hotly. "She's nice, and smart, and kind, and witty, and beautiful......"
He trailed off, noticing how Mario was looking at him knowingly. "What?"
He never got to find out, because at that moment a deep, vibrant rumbling echoed throughout the castle, followed quickly by violent shaking which threw both brothers to the floor. Luigi yelled in surprise, but Mario didn't say anything, his startled expression suddenly changing to one of knowing dread.
Another rumble shook the hallway, throwing doors open and spilling various objects out into the hallway. Luigi performed a Super Jump over a table on a collision course with him, and looked around for Mario. "Mario? Hey, where are you? Mario??"
Luigi caught a glimpse of a brown boot rounding a corner in the hall back the way they had come. "Mario!" Luigi began to run after him. Where was he going?
Luigi had rounded the corner in the hall and was almost to the Dining Room when a third, more powerful tremor rocked the floor, cracked the walls, and caused part of the ceiling to collapse.
Luigi yelped and ducked to the ground as huge chunks of plaster and mortar smashed to the ground around him. He looked up and noticed a particularly large piece headed directly for his head. He gave out a high "Eek!" of surprise and rolled out of the way just in time. Scrambling to his feet, he stumbled back to the Dining Room as fast as the rocking floor would allow. "Mario! Princess! Wait!!"
"What the heck is going on?!" Daisy burst out in confusion.
It had taken a few moments for her and Peach to get over their shock. The abrupt departure of the Mario Bros. had somewhat taken them by surprise.
"I...I think when I said hello to you just now....that Luigi thought I was teasing him." Peach replied slowly.
Daisy cocked her head curiously and approached her cousin at the table. "Why would he think that about you? I thought you guys were friends."
"We are. But...." Peach ducked her head in embarrassment, "I have this reputation for playing, um, jokes on them." She smiled sheepishly.
Daisy grinned in dry amusement as she sat down across from Peach and leaned forward, propping her chin up on her hands. "You? My cousin? A practical joker? HA!" She laughed lightly. "Tell me, then. Why was Luigi so mad about that joke, if you've kidded with them so often?"
Peach looked again at the doorway that the plumbers had left through. "......I don't know......"
It was at that exact moment, while Peach was staring in puzzlement at the doorway and thinking of what reasons Luigi could have for his anger, while Daisy was looking at Peach with a smile and trying to imagine her pulling pranks on the Bros., and while the chef was walking calmly through the kitchen doors to announce that the food was finally ready, that all hell broke loose.
The wall behind Peach exploded outward with a blast of forcibly expelled brick and mortar. Peach was thrown clear across the table and into Daisy by the force of the eruption, and Daisy, in turn, was thrown into the wall along with Peach by the resulting shockwave. Both princesses collapsed in a heap on the floor, the impact momentarily stunning them.
The table itself went flying as another explosion happened right next to it, shattering it into a thousand sharp wood pieces and scattering them every which way. The shockwave blazed through the castle like a tidal wave of power and wind, completely destroying the interior Dining Room decorations while sending chairs, plates, and silverware flying all over the room. Through all the smoke and haze, figures could be seen emerging from the newly-made hole in the wall and converging on the area where the princesses lay. Peach groggily lifted up her head to look at the invaders. Some of them appeared short, brown and triangular, while the others were rather tall and round. They seemed oddly familiar....
She jerked fully awake as she recognized them. Koopa Troopas! And Goombas!
She screamed (more out of surprise than fear), and immediately picked up one of the closer Goombas to throw at the rest of the incoming baddies. The Goomba collided with a row of Koopas all marching single-file, knocking them down one after the other like dominoes. But the triumph was short- lived, as there were more of the turtles and mushrooms-turned-bad to replace the felled ones every second. Peach dropped to Daisy's side and frantically tried to revive her as the mutant plants and animals got closer.
"Daisy! Get up! Come on, wake up!!" Peach cried, shaking her cousin by the shoulders and patting her gently on the face while casting furtive glances over her shoulder. "Get up, Daisy! They're almost here!"
"Who's almost here?" Daisy asked faintly as her eyes fluttered open and she sat up, cradling her forehead in her hands. "Oh, my achin' everything...."
"Daisy, get up!! The Koopa Troop is here!!" Peach yelled, panicking.
Daisy's head snapped up to stare at Peach, her eyes wide. "What?"
"GREETINGS, PRINCESSES!" A booming voice shouted over the deafening sound of marching feet.
"I HOPE WE AREN"T INTERRUPTING ANYTHING BY PAYING YOU A LITTLE VISIT LIKE THIS!"
Peach and Daisy stood up and scanned the room for the voice's source. "There!" Daisy shouted, pointing at a spot above the heads of the Koopa Army.
Floating there in the air was a certain familiar Koopa Troopa wearing glasses, blue robes, and a pointed blue hat. He was riding a flying broomstick that was keeping him aloft, and he was clutching both the broomstick and an oddly-shaped magic wand in one hand while holding a megaphone up to his mouth with the other.
"KAMEK!" Both princesses shouted in unison.
The troops suddenly ceased their advancing to wait for their leader's order, standing in perfect row formation with their feet together, their backs straight, and their faces expressionless. Daisy shuddered. Creepy.
The Koopa Wizard chuckled, and the noise floated out of the megaphone throughout the whole room. "YES, THAT'S RIGHT! IT IS I, THE ALL-POWERFUL, ALL-KNOWING, ALL-ENCOMPASSING..."
"...All-Bigheaded..." Daisy murmured to Peach.
"....KAMEK THE ALMIGHTY!!" The flying Koopa finished with a flourish.
The Dining Room went dead silent for three seconds, during which the princesses slowly turned their heads to look at each other.
Simultaneously they burst out laughing.
"See this?" Daisy asked as she held up her hands in the shape of a square to frame her face. "This is me not caring. Twenty coins says we kick your scaly mutant butt within the hour."
"'Kamek the Almighty'?" Peach sniggered. "Who came up with that load of crap, huh? Wait, don't tell me. The little voices in your head did, right?"
Behind his spectacles, Kamek blinked. This wasn't the reaction he had been expecting at all.
"Or better yet," Peach continued, "How about your mom? She probably would be lame enough to come up with something like that, since she raised _you_ and all."
Kamek began to slowly get red in the face. Nobody had ever dared insult his parents before.
Peach had never really been that good at insults. Unfortunately for Kamek, however, Daisy was there to back her up. "No, wait, I've got it." The brown- haired princess jutted in with a smile. "It was Barney the Dinosaur! He, Big Bird, and Mr. Rogers teamed up to put that one together for you!" Peach was rolling on the floor with laughter at that one, and Daisy grinned up at the furious Wizard Koopa. "I've just solved the mystery of your inspiration for you, Kamek old boy! You owe me a beer."
Kamek roared in fury. That last one had snapped it all for him. "SHY SQUAD, ATTACK!!!" He bellowed.
Daisy's grin faded and Peach leaped back to her feet. They looked at each other. Shy squad?
What was that?
They got their answer a moment later, as a large group of Flying Shy Guys and Parakoopas swooped down on them from above.
Daisy yelled and rolled out of the way as one of the winged Koopa Troopas grabbed at her. Peach shrieked in surprise but quickly recovered, grabbing the legs of a passing Shy Guy and swinging it around in a wide circle to throw headlong into the ranks of the unmoving Koopa Army. The lines of Goombas and Koopas were still standing silently up ahead of her, but began moving again when the hapless Shy Guy came crashing into them. Peach had thrown the Shy Guy with such force that it managed to ram through the first three rows of turtles and Goombas before finally slowing and falling to the ground, completely unconscious.
Kamek howled in frustration as the Princesses began applying Martial-Arts skills against the Shy Squad, beating them back with room to spare. "BOMB- OMBERS, ATTACK!"
Peach looked up from slapping a Parakoopa senseless to see a fleet of Koopas floating on tiny clouds enter the room, float up to near the ceiling, and begin tossing Bomb-ombs (walking bombs with eyes) down at the scene below. "Daisy, look out!"
Daisy looked straight up at the call and saw a Bomb-omb falling directly at her. "AAAHHH!" She screamed, jumping to the side as the Bomb-omb exploded where she had been a second before.
Kamek yelled a war-cry, rallying his troops for battle. "CHARGE!!"
This was the order the Goombas and Koopas had been waiting for. They surged forward as one sea of enemies, not caring that the last Bomb-omb explosion had damaged the walls and ceiling, which was in danger of collapsing. They didn't care that the Princesses were throwing enemies at them left and right, knocking several of their numbers down and out. They didn't care about anything, except accomplishing their goal. They echoed Kamek's battle cry, filling the room from wall to wall with their mass, blotting out any chance for escape. And they were headed straight for the Princesses.
Luigi stumbled as the floor began shaking again, and just barely managed to dodge out of the way as a chandelier hanging overhead came loose from its supports and crashed to the floor. The entire structure was made of intricately carved crystal and glass, designed to catch, direct and amplify light given off by it into a kaleidoscope of shimmering colors. But the only thing about it that Luigi was concerned with at the moment was not being torn to shreds by its flying shrapnel.
Luigi paused, panting for breath, and a little shaken after his close call. The chandelier had been directly above him when it fell. Had he not looked up at that moment, it would've...
He decided not to think about it. He got to his feet and was about to resume his chase after Mario when he heard a distinctive, all-too-familiar high cackle emanate from an unseen source somewhere near him. He leaped away from the place where it seemed to be coming from, but he couldn't see anything there. Then another cackle echoed the first, this time somewhere to Luigi's right. He leaped away from that, too, back toward the hallway and away from the direction that Mario had gone.
Luigi grimaced as he once again heard the sound of the laughter, this time in stereo from two different locations. An invisible source was making the noise. So, the only two things it could be are either something that has been somehow cloaked to be invisible, or ghosts. And considering how angry spirits are often employed by Bowser into the Koopa Troop, Luigi opted to believe the latter.
Hmm...ghosts...
......well, he could do something about that......
Luigi immediately spun on his heel and raced back down the hallway toward his' and Mario's room, and away from the sinister cackling. He only hoped that he would be able to set his plan going in time.
Mario knew, the very moment the first tremor hit. Somehow, he knew immediately what was going on. Far too long had he been subjected to this type of situation to not know when it was starting to happen again. He leaped to his feet after falling down when the third tremor rocked the castle's foundations and bolted back to the Dining Room, hoping he wasn't too late.
He rounded the corner and the Dining Room came into view. Mario pulled up short, staring in shock.
The place looked as if a tornado had hit it. Silverware, pieces of dishes, and broken glass littered the floor everywhere. Tiny piles of food were thrown in for a little variety, along with the occasional piece from the walls. An enormous hole in the right wall stretched from where the wall met the floor to encompass a part of the ceiling. Mario could see the second floor above through it. The grand oaken table that had been placed directly in the middle of the room was nowhere to be seen, but Mario got an idea of what had happened to it as he noticed wood pieces intermingled with the rest of the debris. Cracked, broken chairs were piled haphazardly in corners where the shockwaves had dumped them. And everywhere, there were Koopa soldiers. He'd arrived in time to catch a glimpse of several Shy Guys, Koopa Troopas, Goombas, and Bomb-ombs converge upon Princess Peach and Princess Daisy. The cousins were fighting rather well, knocking down enemies left and right, helping each other take down what they alone couldn't handle. But more troops were arriving through the huge hole, and soon the Princesses would be overwhelmed.
Without pausing for a second, Mario immediately leapt into action. Literally. He jumped high into the air, coming down directly on top of a Goomba and flattening it into a pancake. The impact bounced him back up into the air, and he aimed for another enemy. He repeated this process on a series of closely-batched Koopa Troops until he finally landed on the ground to rest. He looked up.
A line of Boos was entering the room through the hole and floating toward the large group of enemies at the room's other end, where Mario realized the Princesses must be. Mario bit back a curse. Boos were the only enemy that he couldn't defeat by normal methods, as they'd turn invisible at the slightest hint of hostility. Crap......Now what was he going to do?
He got his answer a second later, as there suddenly came a shout from the Dining Room entrance. "HEY, BOOS!"
The ghosts suddenly stopped and turned to see whom was addressing them.
Luigi stood framed in the doorway, fury written all over his face, and an enormous vacuum cleaner strapped onto his back. He was holding the nozzle in both hands like a sword, and aiming it directly at the line of Boos.
"YOU SUCK!" He finished, flicking the vacuum's switch to 'on'. The vacuum began to draw in air rapidly, pulling the ghosts toward it.
Comprehension dawned on Mario's face. Luigi was using the Poltergust 2000 he had received after their last adventure in a haunted mansion. It was a special ghost-capturing device that trapped ghosts in the dustbag, and he was now using it to get rid of the Boos. He cheered Luigi on as Boo after Boo began getting pulled into the vacuum, and he resumed attacking with renewed vigor.
"C'mon, Daisy!" Peach yelled as she tossed a Bomb-omb at a swarm of enemies, blowing them all to Kingdom Come. "Let's kick some Koopa!!"
"Way ahead of you, girl!" Daisy replied while doing a few Judo kicks at some enemies, knocking them out. "These guys are going down! Hai-yah!"
The tide of battle might have turned to the Princesses' favor, if a Parakoopa hadn't swooped down and snatched up Peach without warning.
"Huh?! Eeek! Help!" She managed to yell before the winged Koopa Troopa clamped a hand over her mouth and silenced her.
Daisy looked up at Peach's call. "What the - ? Oh, crap! PEACH!" She ran underneath the flying Koopa, yelling curses and ordering it to give Peach back.
While Daisy was momentarily distracted, a large group of Shy Guys suddenly leapt onto her. She didn't even get the chance to cry out, as they pretty much buried her under their weight almost immediately. After they had gotten a grip on her, they got off and hauled her to her feet. She came up fighting, kicking and struggling for all she was worth, but her efforts were pretty much wasted as there were so many of them. Finally, she chose to bite the hand that had been muffling her shouts and screamed out at the top of her lungs,
"LUIGI, HELP!!!"
The plumber in question had just been finishing off the last of the Boos when he heard his name be called. Well, more like screamed. Suddenly alarmed, he began to race over to where he had heard the cry come from, then stopped and took off the Poltergust 2000, as it was slowing him down with its weight. He resumed running toward the source of the noise at a much faster pace. In the process, he collided with Mario, whom had heard the same call and come running. Both Bros. tumbled to the ground in a heap, and were instantly beset by dozens of enemies.
Luigi yelled in surprise and began lashing out in all directions at once, eyes closed tight in fright. Mario threw the enemies off him in a surge of strength and caught Luigi's flailing fists. "Luigi! Come on! They've got Peach and Daisy!"
At Daisy's name Luigi's eyes went wide. He suddenly leaped up and dashed toward the area where the Princesses were, yelling at the Koopas every name he could think of and smacking across the room those who dared to get in his way. Shaking his head at his brother's tactics, Mario followed.
Kamek floated near Daisy's face and grinned wickedly. "You, my dear," He spoke without the megaphone, "are going to pay very dearly for that little remark earlier." After a moment of thought and a sinister grin, he added, "You also owe me twenty coins." He pointed his magic wand at Daisy and chanted something under his breath. In a rush of shining sparkles, she disappeared. In the background, Luigi gave an outraged cry that Kamek ignored. Then Kamek turned to Peach. "And now you shall join her." He cackled. He performed the same spell on her, instantly teleporting her away in the blink of an eye. Down below, Mario yelled in outright anger.
Kamek finally noticed the Mario Brothers and laughed. He whipped out his megaphone again and spoke.
"HELLO DOWN THERE! HOW'S LIFE?"
Mario and Luigi didn't reply save for the stream of obscenities they were now firing at him. Kamek grinned.
"Y'KNOW, JUDGING FROM YOUR CURRENT TONES OF VOICE, ONE WOULD THINK YOU'VE GOT SOME PENT-UP HOSTILITY AIMED TOWARDS ME."
"Shut the $&%* up, you #@%$&!!!" Luigi screamed at Kamek, who roared with laughter.
"Give them BACK, Kamek!!" Mario added.
Kamek gave the Bros. a mock-pout. "AW, BUT I WAS GONNA PLAY 'MONOPOLY' WITH 'EM! IT'S REALLY BORING PLAYING BY YOURSELF, YA KNOW......"
Kamek dodged the Super Jump that Luigi had aimed for him.
"HEH. ALL RIGHT, NO NEED TO GET FIDGETY. IF YOU WANT THEM, YOU'LL HAVE TO COME AND GET 'EM!" And with that, the MagiKoopa conjured up a glowing blue portal behind himself and soared through it. Luigi immediately jumped after him, with Mario in close pursuit. Mario grabbed hold of his brother's boot as they soared through the portal. "Luigi, wait! It could be a tra--"
His sentence was cut off as they entered the portal.
Then everything went white......