'What am I doing?' I ask myself as my back hits the front hall wall. My hands are grabbing the buttons of Whitney's shirt, undoing them quickly. His jacket and tie are already in a pile in the hall, next to our shoes and my jacket. Last button, okay. The wet material slides off, revealing a soaked white beater shirt and yummy muscles. God, I can't believe that I just said yummy...

He stops kissing me for a second to pull my shirt over my head, then his soft lips are back on mine.

Suddenly I'm shy. I want my shirt back. What if I'm not skinny enough? What if my arms are too weak, my abs not defined enough and my chest too small? I must have pulled away fractionally because so does he and looks me in the eye.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... I just... it's just... I'm sorry..." He's breathing hard and backs away until his back hits the opposite wall. "I'll go..." He turns and leans down to grab his shirt.

"No!" I half yell, freezing him in his tracks. He turns and I blush. "I mean... well, it's just..." I can't say it. I cross my arms self-consciously over my chest.

"What?" he says, getting the cool and aloof tone back in his voice. "Just what, Chloe? You can't have anything to do with football players or your I.Q. will drop? You can't taint yourself with a jock's dirt?"

I shook my head, confused. "No..." But the rest of the words stuck in my mouth. I just couldn't say it.

"Football players not good enough for you?" he asked, suddenly vicious. "Well, you're not so high and mighty yourself. You're the editor of some stupid little gossip column – mostly about the football team just so that you can make yourself feel better."

"Well, at least I'll have something to show after high school," I flared back. "What have you got? A trophy and a few medals?" I was so angry with him that I was shaking. How dare he attack me?

He pushed off the wall, coming towards me. "At least I'm not hiding from life behind words!" he shouted.

"No, you'd rather hit them head-on, make as much mess as you can, then move on." I pushed off as well and got into his face. "Except you'll use athletics as an excuse for everything. You're bright, Whitney, but you use athletics as an excuse not to be. If you tried half as hard in school as you did in athletics, you'd be brilliant!"

"Don't preach to me like some parent or like you even know me! You don't!"

"Fine!" I threw up my hands and spun on my heel. "I'm leaving!" I went to the stairs then turned around. "No, wait, this is my house. You leave!" I walked to the door.

He came after me, forcing me against the door and getting into my face. "You're just afraid."

"Of what?" I asked defiantly.

He smirked. "Of getting close to anyone. You'll take it so far then push until they leave. Well, forget it, I'm staying."

"You can't stay!" I shrieked.

He looked unimpressed. "Why not?"

"Because it's my house!"

He pulled back. "Give me one real reason and I'll leave. One good reason."

I glared at him. I didn't have a good reason. 'My abs aren't perfect' is not a good reason.

"Come on, Chloe... I'm waiting." He crossed his arms across his chest.

He looked so smug and smirk that I wanted to smack it off his face. Well, then I would do the next best thing. "Fine! You want answers? Fine! My arms aren't sculpted, my abs aren't completely flat, my legs aren't long and slim and I'M NOT LANA LANG!" I screamed at him then turned and ran.

He had good reflexes, I had to give him that. I made it halfway to the stairs before he caught me around the waist, spun me around and planted one on me. I fought but he wouldn't let go.

"I'm not going to let you close yourself off, Chloe," he whispered, pressing his forehead to mine. "I won't." Then he kissed me again.

¤¤¤

Later, I watched him sleep and wanted to wake him up, wanted to poke him until he answered my questions. I wanted to know about the Lana factor. Obviously, he still loved her because they were still technically together. Did he think about her all the time? Was he thinking about her when he was with me? Even if he didn't love her, I knew she had a pull on him. She had it on all guys, it seemed. I just wished that he didn't tug every time I was around.

I slid out of bed, grabbed pjs and walked down to make coffee and watch the rain. It reflected my mood exactly, somber and miserable yet a bit of hope dwindling at the bottom.

Taking my mug of coffee to the window, I curled up on the window seat and leaned my head against the glass.

Why did I go for the most unavailable men? I mean, most turned out to be mutants, Clark had a permanent infatuation with Lana and now Whitney, who was probably still in love with Lana. I just couldn't win.

My eyes focused on the mirror image of the window as Whitney came in, his face looking clouded. I turned and looked at him, wanting to run away. Instead, I froze. What was he going to say? He came up behind me. "Hey."

"Hi," I replied softly, turning back to the window. What was I going to say?

"Listen, Chloe..." He trails off.

'What is he going to say?' I wonder, a million possibilities going through my head,

This was a mistake.

I'm completely in love with you.

I'm just doing this to get my girlfriend back.

I'm just a horny bastard.

I just needed some emotional comfort and since my girlfriend is off with Clark, you'll have to do.

He's not saying anything. "What?" Okay, that came out a little more blunt that it should have. But he's just standing there staring at me...

"I don't know."

I study him. I feel like I should be smoking or something... "You don't know what?"

"What's going on. I mean, I love Lana. At least I thought I did until I got to the funeral and she was just ogling Clark and I didn't care. I just wanted to give up. My life has gone to shit pretty much. I just want a normal life again..." He was babbling but that was okay. I could handle a babbling Whitney Fordman. "...and I know that it's over, we both do, so why are we trying to keep up pretenses? I don't get it. We just don't love each other anymore. I don't know if she ever really loved me anyway... But now I'm confused because of you."

I arched an eyebrow. "Because of me?"

"Yeah, I thought I had you all figured out. You were the nosy, nerdy little reporter who liked to expose anything she could get her hands on and just as long as it got her a good scoop, she didn't care who it hurt. I thought you were difficult and moody and a brat. But you're not really, are you Chloe?"

I didn't like his sudden insights. "Yes, I am."

He came closer. "No, you're not. I can tell when I kiss you and when I'm close to you, your defenses get dropped." He moved until we were inches apart and I could feel the heat of him. "I don't know why this happened, Chloe, but I'm glad it did..."

I wanted to push him away. I wanted to hit him. He didn't know anything. I put my hands up to stop him but somehow they ended up tangled with his and he was leaning forward and kissing me. And I liked it.

¤ ¤ ¤

So, what do you think? Let me know...