(A/N: Um…you guys are probably going to hate me for this chapter…hehe…no, I'm not a Dom fan…obviously…
That's pretty much all I wanted to say. I loved the reactions I got out of you with the little eensy bit of KN fluff, which we all love of course. This chapter may undergo some renovations. Maybe.
And, for the first time ever, reviewer thank-yous at the bottom! yayyyyy!)
Neal paced in his chambers on the opposite end of the infirmary, hair standing up at wild angles all over his scalp. "Idiot…" he muttered to himself as he walked back and forth, unaware that the sound of his overly expressed footfalls was making the decorative paintings in the hall tremble slightly. "She is your best friend, just came out of Death, and you were going to kiss her?! What were you thinking?!"
Suddenly, he heard a knock at the door. "Come IN," he said irritably, more angry with himself than the visitor. Merric stuck his coppery head in.
"Neal…are you all right?" he asked, peering at him a little warily. "Did I hear you talking to someone?"
Neal blushed. "No," he muttered, a bit embarrassed to have been overheard. "Just…thinking aloud, I suppose."
"Oh…all right then," Merric said, still frowning. He stepped inside the doorframe. "I'm going to go visit Kel…d'you want to come?" He watched, interested, as even more color rose to Neal's cheeks.
"No…" he demurred, "She's probably a bit tired of me; we already talked earlier."
"Oh," Merric said, obviously not entirely convinced. "I'll just…go, then," he said warily, wondering why Neal, as Kel's best friend, hadn't jumped at the chance to see her again, even if he had already talked to her. Almost out of the room, he turned around again. "Hey, Neal," he began, "If there's anything you need to talk about, you know…I'll be around."
Neal gave him a crooked smile. "Thanks, Merric, but I'm fine."
Brow still furrowed, Merric exited, deep in thought.
Inside, Neal resumed his pacing, this time keeping his debate with himself inside his head. If, hypothetically, he DID have feelings for Kel (which he did most certainly NOT, he reminded himself adamantly), what gave him the faintest idea that she returned those (hypothetical) feelings? She had certainly been friendly toward him, but why not? They were best friends—and speaking of, what was he thinking anyway? Kel thought of him as a brother—gods, up until a few weeks ago he'd thought of her as his sister! He couldn't be in love with his best friend!
That was it, then, Neal thought, jaw set grimly. Any time he even…vaguely entertained the very IDEA of having feelings for Kel from here on out, he would immediately dispel the notion from his mind. He had to keep their relationship strictly on a friendship-only level. No matter if she DID look positively alluring sometimes, what with those big, irresistible hazel eyes with their long lashes—gods curse it, he was doing it again!
He cursed softly and sank into a cushioned chair, his head sinking into his hands. He couldn't do this. Gods, he couldn't do this. No matter how many times he told himself firmly that he was not, not, NOT going to think about her in THAT way, little images of Keladry of Mindelan kept creeping into his mind. The way she grinned even in the heat of battle…that enchanting, impatient charm she had…the way her sun-streaked hair fell into her eyes…oh, curse it, curse it, curse it! He groaned in frustration and walked over to his bed, flopping on the soft mattress. Pulling the unadorned pillow over his head, he resolved to clear all thoughts, ESPECIALLY those of a certain attractive lady knight, completely out of his head.
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Kel lay in her cot, smiling absently at Dom and Merric as they talked at her. Though from their point of view, she knew she must look captivated with…whatever story or such they were telling, but her mind was another place entirely. Had Neal tried to kiss her an hour ago, or were her idle fantasies just spawning offspring yet again?
She quickly corrected herself mentally: not that she HAD fantasies about that sort of thing! Neal was her best friend. He was her one constant in life: no matter what odd paths she took, she knew that she could always turn to him for support. Hadn't he said as such, a scant hour ago? She could always count on him to be her best friend—nothing more, nothing less, with emphasis on the "nothing more".
Still—what had he—no, what had THEY almost done? One minute Kel had been talking to him as normal; the next, she had found herself drowning in those endless green eyes. Even thinking about it now sent shivers rolling up and down her spine, no matter how many times she told herself it was because of the cold draft from the window. She couldn't let this go on. It might ruin their friendship, and that would be a fate worse than death. Better to keep her (possible) feelings in and retain Neal's friendship than reveal her thoughts and lose him forever. She couldn't risk that.
But how long was she going to be able to keep up the act? Gods, her heart jumped every time she envisioned how close his face had been to hers. When—how—WHY had this happened? Up until today, she'd been able to keep from turning red every time she thought of him!
::But you still thought of him::, replied a traitorous voice from deep within her. ::You get jealous every time he likes some shallow court wench, even though you say you're just being protective. You were devastated when you thought he was dead. Face it, Kel. You've loved him since you were both pages. You were just too idiotic to realize it until now.::
Kel felt her cheeks warm as she digested this errant thought. Determined to prove it wrong, she shoved it into the back of her mind told herself to focus on Merric and Dom. They had been talking all this time, describing something about Lord Raoul and a particularly bad-tempered barmaid.
She looked up to find Dom's eyes disconcertingly on her. She glimpsed an odd warmth in them just before he looked away, pretending to be extremely interested in a plump bluebird outside the window. She trained her gaze on him, brow furrowed. Could Dom—no. It couldn't be. Gods knew that he hadn't shown any sign of returning her ardor when she had been a new squire with an enormous attraction to him. Thankfully, she had gotten over him during her second year as a knight—a good thing, too, because another look into those endless blue eyes would have driven her crazy.
Still, would it be so hard to dredge up her long-discarded feelings for Dom? He WAS awfully attractive, though a bit lacking in the intelligence department—nothing, of course, compared to Ne—she immediately halted that line of thought, forcing herself to focus. Would it be quite so bad to be attracted to Dom again? If he happened to return her feelings, all the better, and at the very least, she would be distracting herself from envisioning…a certain person.
"Kel…?" A voice interrupted her thoughts, making her start slightly. She looked up again to see both Dom and Merric's eyes trained on her.
"Hmm?" she asked, feeling a slight blush rise to her cheeks.
"Kel, have you heard a single word we just said?" Merric asked, half-smiling. "Or were you just daydreaming this entire time?"
Rather than deny it, Kel closed her eyes, covering them with one hand. "I'm sorry, Merric…I'm having trouble staying focused today." She uncovered her eyes and grinned sheepishly at them. "Sorry. Again."
The mirth in Merric's chestnut eyes was replaced by concern. "Are you tired? Should we leave? Do you need to sleep?" he asked, brow furrowed in ill-masked worry.
Before Kel had even answered, he had stood up. "Call us if you need anything, anything at all. Don't let idiots like us tire you out," he admonished, the perfect picture of a mother fussing over a sick child. "We'll be around." He headed for the door.
Dom lingered behind, glancing at the open door nervously. "You really did have us all worried, Kel," he said quietly, blue eyes sober.
She smiled crookedly back at him, telling herself that she should feel her stomach lurch at the closeness of him. She felt a slight rumbling as it digested her last meal, but other than that, nothing. Curse it. "Sorry," she said, Yamani face masking her frustrations. "I'll try not to let it happen again."
"Good," he said softly, sitting down on the mattress beside her hip. "Because I'd hate to lose you, Kel."
Kel was just considering this rather odd statement of—flirtation? when she suddenly realized that his face was inches from her. She sighed inwardly. Well, if she was going to convince herself that Dom was the one for her, she might as well start now. She closed her eyes, trying her best to look simultaneously amorous and relaxed.
She could feel his soft, warm breath on her lips as he leaned in and pressed his mouth to hers. Suddenly, she realized that she was, basically, living out what were once her ultimate romantic fantasies, only about two years too late. She gritted her teeth and tried to concentrate on the kiss.
He wasn't a bad kisser, really—well, he had to be experienced, with all the lovers he'd taken in the King's Own. However, there was something a bit too mechanical about the way he explored the plush contours of her lips with his. It made her feel as if she was just another girl to check off the list of his possible conquests—as if he'd done this a thousand other times with a thousand other women, all as entranced by his eyes and his demeanor as she had been. Still, it was nice, being kissed, so she tried to enjoy it, even matching his heady warmth with some of her own.
A sound by the door made her eyes snap open and their heads yank apart. Kel found herself sending a quick prayer to the gods that it was just Jump or one of the many cats that roamed New Hope, being inquisitive as usual. ::Gods, let it just be Jump…::
Her heart dropped down to her stomach as she glimpsed a fleeting glance of rumpled brown hair and shocked, hurt green eyes. Before she could get another good look, though, the person standing in the doorway had rushed off down the corridor, leaving a horrified Kel in his wake.
(A/N: Look, guys! FLUFF!
Or was that the wrong ship….innocent smile How silly of me!
Don't kill me!!!
holds up arms protectively I swear. It's a KN fic! I just…you know…
Okay, I confess. I had writers' block. THE WRITERS' BLOCK MADE ME DO IT!
Flames will be used to make herbal tea. mmmm.
Review and I will love you.)
(Reviewer thank-yous!!
First off, a HUGE, enormous, absolutely grateful thank-you to the "regulars", so to speak: Shira, Anni, Jess, and Rica, who are always there to hear my raves about Neal (sigh), and Rie, who is my "kick-in-the-butt", as well as PsychoLioness13, Wake-Robin, lady-kitty, AJ 4EVA, Shayley Rain, Bella, Paparazzi, prettyfoot, Lady Asianath (thank you for the tip about steel, oops), Keladry of Queenscove, ossini, nuitnothing.
Also thank you to falcon, coolchick207, ducky and raj, Skysong Moonsword, and gurliegirl, who just started reviewing, which is really cool.
Special thanks to Seadragon for the giant cookie and lordfolken for his enormous review that made me happy before math class.
I think that's it!
phew Now you see why I don't do these every chapter.)