(A/N: Wow, if I'd known the awesome review action I'd get from you guys, I would've had Kel kiss Dom a LONG time ago!

Seriously, though, you guys are great. ;D

Notes—yeah, I realized after the fourth chapter that Merric's eyes were blue...idiotic me. Oops.

Also—Yes, it's predictable. Hopefully not too much so though, as Neal knew his feelings BEFORE Dom came round. Usually it's just "deny deny deny, oops I'm jealous, maybe I DO love Kel!" Stupid writers' block, though. ;P And no, it isn't poor Nealy's dream...sigh he's so misunderstood and angsty. ;D

Just as a minor warning, Neal says "damned" a lot in this chapter. He's a very angry soul. Poor boy. I really do feel bad for him in this chapter...not much seems to be going right for him. So if he comes off as a jerk, which he does a little bit, just remember that he has a lot on his proverbial plate at the moment.

Enjoy!

--LQ)

Neal walked down the corridor, so angry he could barely see. That harlot! That chit! That—woman! How dare she?! And with his own cousin, no less!

His already long strides lengthened until he was nearly running down the corridor. He had been trying to be a good friend and gone to visit Kel, and this was the thanks he had been given! The oh-so-lovely sight of his best friend and his cousin, engaged in...certain activities! Oh, gods, what had he ever done to deserve this?

His anger was gradually replaced by gloom as he dwelled on the sight. Gods, how he wished now that he had never gone! But after laying in his chambers for a while, he had decided to do the right thing and go and see his best friend after her "ordeal". A completely innocent act! When he had first seen them...well, kissing...he hadn't realized the identity of the couple; he had thought that he had walked in on the wrong room. But then he had caught a flash of wide hazel eyes...and he had known.

He winced as he half-ran, thinking of the emotions that had hit him in the stomach then. Anger, shock, sadness, hurt, and jealousy had all combined when he had recognized Kel and Dom. And that look in her eyes when she had seen him had been the last straw. He had fled.

Anger came back in a rush. Gods, damn it all! Kel for being so damned attractive and yet so...oblivious, Dom for having the nerve to kiss her (Neal flushed, livid, at the thought), and most of all himself, for being in love with his best friend in the first place.

Breathing heavily, he didn't see Merric as he turned the corner, nearly bowling his redheaded friend over. He uncharacteristically didn't stop to help him, though, and continued on his furious way back to his chambers. Merric, brow furrowed, brushed himself off and followed him.

Neal, unaware of his new shadow, slammed open his bedroom door and shut it firmly behind him, growling under his breath as he did so. "Curse it, curse it, curse it," he muttered like a mantra as he threw himself on his bedcovers facedown. He began to slam his fists down on the pillows as he mumbled, so that each "curse it" was punctuated by a thump.

As he hit, though, he began to feel a bone-deep ache within his chest work its way to the surface. He didn't recognize the feeling—despair? heartbreak?—but it made him feel so weak, he didn't even have the strength even to be angry anymore. He lay his head down on the pillows and felt tears rise to the corners of his eyes. How had this happened? he wondered dimly. How did he go from being best friends and nothing more with someone, to crying over her and feeling like his heart would break, just because she was oblivious? How pathetic did that make him?

He didn't hear the knock on the door, so the gentle touch on his shoulder made him jump nearly a foot from his dismal position on the blankets. Neal swiveled, breathing hard, hand held over his heart. "Merric," he gasped softly. "Don't—do—that!"

Merric grinned unabashedly. "What are you so jumpy about?" he asked playfully. Peering at Neal's white face and red-rimmed eyes, he frowned. "Neal?" he asked slowly. "What—what's wrong?"

Neal sat up, giving his best impression of a winning smile. "Nothing, absolutely nothing," he said. "Just—taking a rest! Because I'm—tired. Long day, you know." Merric's worried expression became mixed with disbelief as Neal suddenly realized that there were still tiny tear tracks spreading from his eyes. He swiped at the corners of them, exasperated, as Merric plunked down in the chair near his bed.

"Come on, Neal," he said, not believing a word that Neal had spoken, "You and I both know something more is wrong. Kel is your best friend, yet you've barely said two words to her since she woke up. I haven't even seen you speak to Tobe since you came back, for all he's been hanging around, and you nearly flattened me in the corridor. What is going on?"

Neal opened his mouth to lie again, then closed it. He flopped back on the mattress, eyes closed, as he heard himself say resignedly, with only the slightest tremor in his voice, "I walked in on Kel and Dom—ki-kissing."

Merric inhaled, obviously surprised. "You—but—when?"

"Just before I ran you over, actually," Neal said numbly, and gave a hollow laugh. It sounded fake to his own ears. "I thought I'd be a good friend, you know, wish her well and all that, but guess they had forgotten to shut the door in time!" Voice falsely cheery, but growing more bitter as he went on, he continued, "All's well that end's well for them, I guess, and they'll live happily ever after, and the wedding bells will ring!" His voice cracked at this last, and he stopped himself before he lost control of his vocal chords completely.

"Neal." Something in Merric's tone made him snap his eyes open. "Neal, look at me." Merric stared at him with such an intensity that he seemed to be burning a hole in his forehead with his wide eyes. Realization began to dawn on his features. "You—you—" Neal swallowed and prepared himself for the inevitable; Merric was smart. Sure enough, Merric didn't disappoint him. "You don't—LIKE Kel—DO you?"

Neal's uncomfortable silence was apparently enough affirmation for him, because his eyes widened even more and his jaw dropped. "You DO!" he exclaimed, darting a glance toward the door, then looking back at Neal incredulously. "But—Neal—I thought—WHY?"

"I don't know, all right?!" Neal snapped raspily. When he saw the hurt written plainly on his redheaded friend's face, he regretted his outburst. "Sorry, Merric, it's just—I can't—I don't know what to do!" he said plaintively. As he went on, his voice got faster and his eyes more wild. "She's my best friend and I can't have feelings for her, I just CAN'T! So I tell myself that I won't think of her that way, I won't, but it never works, I always find myself picturing her eyes or her smile or her—I can't—I can't DO this!" His voice wound down creakily at the end of his monologue, and he rested his face in his hands.

Merric, who had been silent the entire time, spoke up hesitantly. "Well—Neal—I suppose I know how you feel." Neal glanced at him beneath his fingers and raised an eyebrow. "Okay, well, maybe not so much," Merric amended, "But I would like to try to—help."

Neal laughed hollowly. "There's not much you can do, is there? The girl I love, who happens to be my best friend, is in love with my cousin. Pretty sure that love is requited, because I just walked in on them kissing passionately." Merric started to speak, but Neal went on, voice rising slightly in decibel, "So unless you can somehow magically make Kel fall in love with me instead of Dom, I REALLY don't think there's anything you can help with!"

Merric gave him a long, measured look, one that made Neal feel, if possible, even worse. "Merric, I—" he said, starting to apologize, but Merric crookedly half-smiled and stood. "I'm sorry you feel I can't help, Neal," he said, "But I'm glad at least that you told me." He stretched and walked toward the door, but turned back midway. "I'll be here if you need to talk some more," he added as a kind of peacemaker, then continued out the door.

Neal debated whether to go after him, but discarded the idea. Instead, he lay back on the mattress and pulled one of the pillows over his face in what was getting to be an all-too-familiar action, feeling like one of the most inconsiderate people in the Eastern Lands.



A/N:

I think I'll name this chapter "Angst".

As a preview for next time, expect a fight! Midnight strolls! Er...another fight! Confessions!

Cheese and crackers, I sound like a soap opera writer.

Review. Please.

I need reassurance that this chapter wasn't horrible. Not one of my favorites. I will definitely feel better (as will you all, I'm sure) when we get to the fluff. Cause who doesn't need a good dose of fluff?

Adios—

--L.Q.