A/N: Don't lecture me. Yessss, I know this has been forever in coming, but I have an excuse! First it was finals, then I had to take my SAT II for Bio, then, well, there was the Harry Potter movie, which is an extremely huge matter in itself...mmm...Dan Radcliffe...Huh? Oh? What? Oh, I mean...so, anyway, expect more updates (I think...), because school is officially OVER!!! Hip, hip, HUZZAH!

Now that we've gotten that out of the way...

This chapter's a little...odd. I wanted a confrontation and a midnight stroll (because I'm a big fan of the midnight stroll), but I don't really like how the last conversation turned out, so...I may change it later. I know I say that like every chapter, but...anyway. You know you want to review and make the nice author happy!

--LQ

Kel stared at the ceiling, eyes reflecting the moonlight shining in through the open window. The wind rippled the curtains slightly, making the shadows flicker eerily and her shiver, but she kept it open in hopes that the crisp air would clear her murky thoughts. Needless to say, it didn't work very well.

She was exhausted; her body craved sleep, but every time she tried to lull herself into slumber, the image of a pair of devastated green eyes appeared in her mind. The night watch had long ago called the midnight hour, and she kept glancing at the horizon, willing it to glow pink with the first tendrils of dawn. To her constant irritation, the stars above shone as strongly and coldly as ever.

After numerous attempts to fall asleep, which included turning over restlessly multiple times, she growled a curse and sat up, shaking her flyaway hair away from her face. Exasperated with herself and her insomnia, she pulled on breeches and stuffed her feet into her scuffed boots, intending to walk along the wall until she became so tired that all images, green-eyed or otherwise, were firmly out of her mind.

She hoisted herself off the cot, opened the door as quietly as possible, and began to creep down the hallway, wincing as her boots clunked on the stone floors. The sound echoed along the corridor, reverberating off the walls and seeming, to her, to be deafening. She paused, breath held, watching the flickering shadows at the end of the corridor for any signs of other walkers like herself. Seeing nothing, she eased open the door and stepped outside.

The frigid night air took her by surprise, and she shivered a bit in her thin nightshirt. Still, the coolness on her face felt refreshing after too many hours trapped in a stuffy infirmary room, so she continued on her climb up the stairs.

Too late, she saw the other figure leaning his elbows pensively on the wall. She couldn't turn back now, pretending she hadn't seen him; they had made eye contact for a split second before he returned his stony gaze back to the grounds below. She took a breath and willed herself to approach; it took every ounce of her self-control to make her steps calm and breathing steady as she walked over to lean on the wall beside him.

He didn't say anything, so Kel bit her lip as well, staring out at the moonlight land before them. The silence grew until she felt she couldn't stand it anymore; opening her mouth, she blurted, "Neal, I'm sorry."

Neal swiveled his head to look at her, and she could have sworn that his expression, for a moment, looked an odd mixture of regretful and astonished. But then it was gone, and he looked coldly indifferent again. "For what?" he asked icily, turning back to the landscape. "It's not as if we had anything in the first place."

His words stung Kel, though she tried not to let her emotions show. "I'm sorry you feel that way," she said, trying to keep her voice as cool as his. "I was under the impression that we were best friends."

He laughed bitterly, his apathetic mask beginning to slip. "Last time I checked, Kel, best friends didn't go around—k-kissing each other's cousins!"

Kel felt her cheeks beginning to heat up, as well. "Well, last time I checked, it wasn't any of your business who I kiss!"

His face visibly tightened, as though he was trying to keep himself from yelling. He swallowed hard, and said softly, almost whispering, "You—you could have asked me, that's all!"

She, too, began to lose control of her disinterested façade. "I'm sorry, Neal," she said, voice dripping with uncharacteristic irony, "I'll be sure to ask you the next time I'm contemplating kissing one of your relatives!"

"You do that, Kel," he practically snarled in return, face inches from hers. "And after you're through, I'll ask myself why I ever considered you my best friend!"

Kel was struck at a loss for words, panting slightly from the exertion of holding back so much anger, hurt, and sorrow all at once. Finally, she swallowed. "Fine," she said, rather tremulously. Then, slightly stronger, she continued, "Fine, if that's really how you feel." Her eyes narrowed, and she stepped backward from Neal. "Then maybe we should forget we were ever friends in the first place."

He didn't speak for what seemed like an eternity to Kel. Finally, he said, in a hollow, raspy voice not at all his own, "Go back to bed, Kel. You're still recovering."

She turned on her heel without replying and walked away, mouth set in a grim line to keep herself from breaking down in his presence. If she had chanced turning back, she might have seen Neal collapse onto the outer wall, all pretenses gone, with his head in his hands. But she didn't, too preoccupied on fighting off the tears threatening to roll down her own cheeks.



Kel stumbled blindly through the hall, not caring anymore about waking up the other temporary residents of the infirmary. Only the thought of others' horribly sympathetic expressions if they found her, crying, on the floor kept her from just lying down on the spot. She ached to let herself succumb to the heaving sobs threatening to work their way up from her chest, but she still made herself walk on.

Eyes nearly closed, she stumbled over what she had at first taken to be a small bundle of clothes lying across the hallway from her room. To her shock, the bundle began to unfold itself, emerging in the shape of a familiar-looking twelve-year-old. Kel caught a glimpse of a blonde head before she was pinned against the wall, gasping from the force of Tobe's hug.

"Lady!" he yelped excitedly, arms still wrapped around her. "I wen' t' all th' places—th' stables an' y'r rooms an' th' mess but they all said y' were here and y' weren' so I've been waitin'—Lady!" he said, looking up, alarmed, at Kel's tear-streaked cheeks. "Wha'—Lady, y'r cryin'!"

Just the acknowledgement of it made Kel want to break out in fresh tears, but she bit her lip and forced herself to give Tobe a watery smile. "It's nothing, Tobe," she tried to reassure the youth. "Just—just—I've—"

Her stuttering excuses didn't have their desired effect, and Tobe stepped back slightly, looking skeptical. "Lady," he admonished gently, "Y' c'n tell me. I's all righ'."

Kel blinked rapidly, trying to dispel the moisture rising in her eyes, to no avail. "It's—nothing—just," she swallowed, attempting another smile. "I just had a small fight with N-Neal, that's all."

Tobe's expression changed from skeptical to concerned to confused. "Sir—Sir Neal?" he asked, brow furrowed. "But—tha's—he wouldn'! Not with y' bein' sick an' all—are y'sure?"

She stared at him. "Yes..." she said slowly, still sniffling slightly. "Tobe—why do you think Neal wouldn't fight with me?"

Tobe, usually sparing with words, seemed to have been shocked into conversation. "Y'din't see 'im when 'e brought y'up, Lady," he explained, tripping over his words and reverting back to the northern way of speaking that Kel had been trying as of late to cure him of. "'E was all pale an' sweatin' an' lookin' like 'e was gonna fain' 'imself, but 'e 'ad to get y' t' th' 'firm'ry first, if it'd be the last thing 'e'd do." Seeing Kel's own perplexed expression, he went on, "So y'see, Lady, 'e couldn've been angry wi' y', 'cause a man who cares tha' much about y' wouldn' go pickin' figh's wi' y'!" Suddenly, he looked at her searchingly. "Y'didn't—do anythin', did y'? T' make 'im, well, upset?"

Kel bit her lip, shifting uncomfortably. "Well--I--sort of--k-kissed Dom. Domitan of Masbolle? Um--Neal's cousin?"

His eyes widened; he stared at her, dumbfounded. "Lady, why?" he asked plaintively after a moment. "I's as plain t' anyone tha' y've got feelin's for 'im, and the lad's in practical love wi' y', an' y' go an' kiss 'is cousin? Why?"

She opened her mouth, ready to defend herself, then closed it, reviewing what he had just said. "What?" she asked Tobe, who now looked vaguely guilty. "Did you just—he—what?"

He squirmed a bit under her piercing gaze. "Well—I though' y' would've realized it by now—wha' wi' 'im divin' int' death f'r y' an' all—I jus'—"

Kel stood there, poleaxed, as she reviewed all the events of the last few days. Comprehension began to dawn on her face as she pieced it all together—how Neal had risked his life for her, how upset Neal got over her kissing Dom, even that fight that they had just had. And all this time, she had thought her feelings for him were unrequited, that they could never be—and she had kissed Dom! What in the world had possessed her? She slowly began to beat her forehead on the wall; she felt so idiotic, so—so—

"I have to go find Neal," she muttered to Tobe, who had been standing there throughout her epiphany, watching her with a slightly worried look on his face. "I have to find him and—and do something I should have done a long time ago."

A/N:

AHAHAHAHAHAHA! ahem Sorry. You guys have NO idea how long that idiotic chapter took me. A literal two weeks. Poor reviewers! I'm sorry for taking this long, but—I wanted to get it right. And I think I did. Mostly. Bleh.

Okay—not going to obsess over trivial details. I had fun writing Kel's little "epiphany". Before you guys start telling me about how she's too emotional, hey, she's been through a lot. She deserves to have a little bit of a breakdown. And Neal just doesn't want to get hurt again.

And there I go, stalling before I turn this in to ffn. Review! I will dance a good-luck charm under the half-moon for you!

(Um...yeah. It's kind of late...I've been up for a while...in an odd mood...heh.)