Sha're fingered her husband's short hair as he slept, feeling a slight pang of grief over the beautiful long locks that had recently been cut off. He still looked just as handsome as ever, but she did miss being able to bury her fingers in his soft, beautiful hair.
Still, she could not complain. He had once again returned to her after being presumed lost. She did not dare to think about what would have happened if SG-1 had not been rescued from the false goddess Hathor when they had. As it was, Jack O'Neill had barely escaped being taken over by a Goa'uld, and no doubt Daniel and Sam would have been next. That would have been their worst fears come true.
Daniel sighed in his sleep, and feeling his warm breath on her bare shoulder made Sha're shiver with pleasure. It had been so long since he had slept here at home in their bed, and Sha're had stayed awake on purpose so as to enjoy every moment of it. As usual, he had fallen asleep with his head on her shoulder and his hand on her swollen belly, but the familiar position seemed so much sweeter now, after the horrible things he had just been through. She felt as though when they held each other like this she was able to take away a small measure of his pain, and that was the most important thing she could ever do.
As this thought entered her mind, however, she told herself that she must not think that way any more. Daniel had told her many times that she was not there merely to serve him and belong to him - that they were to give and take equally, and never be afraid to tell each other when there was something they needed - but these views were so different from the ones she had been raised with that she still tended to forget them.
She did remember now, though. Just as she was there to take away Daniel's pain, so was he there to take away hers. "A two-way street," as Daniel called it. Now was the time to test his sincerity in this matter.
"Danyel?" she said quietly. She gave his shoulder a gentle shake. "Danyel? Please wake up."
He grunted and shifted position a little. "Wha's the matter?" he slurred.
"Danyel, I need to speak with you," she said a bit louder.
He rubbed his eyes and squinted up at her for a moment before closing them again. "I'm s' tired. Can it wait till morning?"
"No, it cannot."
Daniel sighed and rolled over onto his back. "Okay," he said. "What is it?"
Sha're propped herself up on one elbow and looked down at him for a moment before speaking. Then she stroked his face and said, "I need to know that you are here."
His eyes softened with sympathy, and he took her hand and kissed it. "Of course I'm here," he said. "I'm sorry you were all alone for so long, but now I'm home. I'm really home."
"And you will not go away again?"
Daniel closed his eyes and held her hand against his cheek. "You know I can't promise that," he said.
"But you will try?"
"Of course I'll try. I always try. I fight with all that's in me so that at the end of the day I come back to you, Sha're. It's just that sometimes... what I'm fighting against is stronger. Thankfully, I've always managed to walk away from things like this in tact, but there's a very real possibility that one day I won't."
Sha're sucked in a breath as she felt a sob rising in her throat. "This does not make me feel better," she said, snatching her hand away from him and laying back against her pillows.
"I know." Daniel rolled onto his side facing her and began to stroke her belly. "I know all of this is hard for you. Probably harder for you staying here waiting for me to come home than it is for me being out there. But we knew the threat of me leaving here one day and never coming back was very real right from the first mission. Nothing's changed."
"Much has changed," she argued. "You are a father, Danyel..."
"I know," he whispered, a look of sorrow on his face. "Believe me, I think about you and our children every time I have to face something dangerous, wondering whether I'll ever see you again... whether our children will become fatherless before they're even old enough to remember me..."
"Stop, please stop," Sha're begged as she burst into tears. She wrapped her arms around him and clung to him desperately.
Daniel held her in silence for a minute before he continued. "But," he said quietly into her ear, "when I think of the amount of good that SG-1 have done over the past couple of years, I know I'm doing the right thing."
Sha're did not respond to this. She knew deep down inside that he was right. She had been the one to convince him of the fact in the first place, so it would be pointless to argue. Still, even knowing that Daniel was doing the right thing did not make the thought of losing him any less terrifying.
Another minute passed in silence. Once Sha're's tears and tremors had ceased, Daniel took her face in his hands and tried to pull her head up from his chest.
"Sha're? Look at me."
She sniffled and obediently lifted her head to look at him.
"If you want me to quit... I will."
Sha're stared at him in surprise. "You... you will?"
"Of course I will," he said, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. "I couldn't put you through all of this if you really didn't want me to go."
She took a deep breath as she mulled this over. She wanted him to stay with her all day every day, but she knew that was not possible. She had told him months earlier that she wished to stay on Earth at least until the baby was born, mainly so that he could continue his work and still be with her. How could she go back on that now?
"I..." She stopped as she all but choked on the word. She gripped his hand as it was still pressed against her face, and drew on his strength to say what she needed to say. "I do not wish you to leave SG-1," she said. "Just... come home to me."
"Always," Daniel whispered. He kissed her and drew her close, holding her so tight against his chest that she could feel his heartbeat against her cheek.
She was still worried about what would come in their future, but for the moment Daniel was home safe and sound. She resolved to find her comfort in that and leave her worrying for a later date. Then she finally allowed herself to relax and fall asleep, securely wrapped in her husband's arms.
Daniel sat on the couch with his head in his hands as Jack was ushered to the door by a very pregnant Sha're.
"We will be fine," Sha're assured him for the one-thousandth time. "Daniel just needs to rest and be with his family. I will take care of him."
Daniel smiled and raised his head to look over at her as she spoke. He still wasn't used to her saying his name properly, though she had been trying to lose her accent for a few weeks now. He kind of missed hearing her say "Danyel," but any way she said his name was music to his ears regardless.
"Bye bye, Uncle Jack," Cate said in her shy little voice.
"See ya, munchkin," Jack returned, squatting down to give her rosy cheek a quick kiss. Then he stood up and turned to look over in Daniel's direction. "I'll call tonight, Daniel," he said. "Take it easy."
Daniel couldn't help but roll his eyes. "I will. I will."
Jack flicked his hand in a half-hearted wave, and then he was gone.
Daniel let out a sigh of relief, but it was short lived. The look on Sha're's face spoke of much mother henning to come in his not-so-distant future.
"How are you feeling?" she asked as she waddled over to him with her hand pressed to her back. "Do you need anything?"
"I'm fine," he said, reaching up to take her hand in his. "You're the one who needs to be looked after, not me."
"Daniel, you were in the hospital just yesterday," she chided. "You must rest."
"That was a misunder..." Daniel started to protest, but Sha're raised a hand to silence him. "Okay," he conceded, pulling his legs up onto the couch and laying down with his head on one of the cushions. "I'll rest. As long as you rest with me."
Sha're looked as though she would argue, but then she smiled. "Alright," she said.
Daniel moved over as close to the back of the couch as he could while Sha're stretched herself out on the edge beside him. Her large stomach came to rest on his, even though the rest of her was barely touching him at all. He put his arm around her, and she snuggled her head into his shoulder comfortably.
Cate was not one to be left out of anything that was going on, so before long she clambered up onto the couch and crawled along Daniel's legs in an attempt to snuggle with her parents. Daniel was quick enough to grab her before she planted her hands or knees anywhere too sensitive, and hauled her up the rest of the way until she lay stomach-down on his chest with her head tucked under his chin.
"Daddy, snuggle," she said, stretching her arms out across his chest.
Daniel smiled and stroked her hair. He knew it was getting close to her naptime, so she was likely to fall asleep there. He didn't mind a bit.
He couldn't believe the difference a day had made for him. He could still feel the after-effects of the drugs he'd been given over the last couple of days, and the overly sanitized smell of the psychiatric hospital he had just been rescued from still lingered in his nostrils. The contrast between his memories of that white padded cell and the pleasant comforts of home that were now surrounding him was almost overwhelming. His arms tightened around his precious family as he thought about how close he'd come to never being allowed to hold his own children again.
Sha're raised her head and looked down at him in concern. "Are you well?" she asked.
"I'm fine," he assured her, though he didn't have a free hand to wipe away the tear he could feel rolling down his face. "I'm just so glad to be home."
Sha're smiled and kissed the tear away. "I am glad, also," she said. "I knew when they told me you had gone insane that it could not be so."
Daniel sighed. "I was pretty scared that it might be true," he confessed. "Schizophrenia may not run in my family, but Nick is in a psychiatric hospital, so..."
"Nick?" Sha're cut in. "Your grandfather?"
Daniel immediately regretted bringing it up. He hadn't wanted Sha're to find out about Nick, in case it made her think less of him in some way. "I... yeah. My grandfather."
"He is insane?"
Daniel shifted uncomfortably. "Well... not exactly," he said. "He had a nervous breakdown."
"But he is alive?"
"Yeah. I used to visit him, but I haven't in a few..."
"Why do you not visit him now?"
Daniel was starting to feel a little irritated by her constant stream of questions. "I don't know," he said. "We had a fight just before I went to Abydos, and he made it quite clear he didn't want to have any more to do with me. I've respected his wishes."
"But would he not wish to meet his grandson's family?"
"I really don't know," he said with a sigh. "Can we not talk about this, please?"
"I am merely trying to understand why you do not wish your grandfather to know our children," she said in a very reasonable tone.
"For the same reason that I wouldn't have wanted them to come visit me if I'd stayed in that hospital indefinitely," Daniel replied, trying to keep his voice low so he didn't disturb Cate, but feeling aggravated enough to shout. "Places like that are frightening for adults, let alone for children. I didn't want to expose them to that, especially if he would just start berating me for what I've done with my life."
"Alright," Sha're said in an attempt to calm him down. "You know him best. I am sorry for questioning your judgment."
Daniel glanced at her out of the corner of his eye as she nestled her head against his shoulder again. He was beginning to suspect that Sha're had learned how to weasel her way around him to get what she wanted, and that this "apology" wasn't really an apology at all. The corners of his mouth curled up as he thought about it. She was good.
"No, you don't have to be sorry," he said, knowing he was being predictable, but not caring. "You're right... he should know his great-grandchildren. I tell you what - his birthday's coming up in about a month from now. I'll see if I can arrange a birthday visit for him."
Sha're reached her hand out to cup the side of his face, and turned it towards herself to give him a brief kiss on the lips. "Thank you, Daniel," she said. "I look forward to meeting your last remaining relative."
Daniel almost chuckled as she subtly made her final point. He still had misgivings about it, but if Sha're wanted that badly to meet a member of his family, he couldn't tell her no. He just hoped that Nick wouldn't create a scene like he had on Daniel's last visit.
He lay there lost in memories of his childhood and young adulthood for the next half an hour or so, as his wife and child dozed peacefully in his arms. He was just drifting off to sleep when he felt Sha're go stiff and let out a quiet cry of pain. He was wide-awake in an instant.
"Sha're?" He tried to sit up, but was weighed down by the child lying on his chest. "What's wrong?"
She panted for breath and gripped his shoulder with one hand while the other massaged her belly. "I think it was a contraction," she said.
Cate woke up then, rubbing her eyes and making soft whimpering sounds. "Mommy?" she said, reaching her arms out for Sha're.
"Mommy's not feeling well, sweetheart," Daniel said. He kept hold of her as he sat up, and thankfully she didn't protest when he prevented her from going to her mother. "Are you okay?" he asked Sha're.
She nodded. "It has passed."
Daniel glanced at his watch. "Okay, I'm timing. Let me know when the next one hits. Not that I'll be able to miss it," he added with a hint of teasing in his tone.
Sha're smiled weakly. "I must get ready to go to the hospital," she said as she rose to her feet.
Daniel watched her waddle away, marvelling once again at her strength and calm during situations like this. He was trying to appear as calm as she was on the outside, but inside he was a bundle of nerves.
Especially after what had happened - or almost happened - when Cate was born.
Despite Daniel's fears, however, twelve hours later their second daughter was born healthy and whole. There were no complications during the birth, and she let out a wail just seconds after leaving her mother, at which point the doctors declared she had the healthiest lungs they'd come across in a while. She also fed like a pro right away, which was a very good thing in Daniel's opinion, as she was quite a big, chubby baby already.
Once again, Jack, Sam, Teal'c, Catherine, and Ernest all gathered around them as soon as the baby was born, did the usual oohing and aahing over her every move, and had their say in the choosing of her name. Elisa Claire was what they unanimously decided upon, and as soon as Daniel said it to her beautiful little face, he knew it was the only name she could ever have been called.
They decided to leave it until they brought the baby home before Cate was introduced to her new baby sister, so Elisa was very much aware of her surroundings by then. She stared up at Cate in fascination as Daniel held the girl over the cradle, and Cate was enamoured with her from that moment on. She seemed to think the baby was some kind of doll that Mommy and Daddy were playing with, and emulated their actions with her own dolls - pretending to bathe them, change their diapers, and even feed them. Daniel and Sha're couldn't help but laugh at her mimicry, though they tried not to do so when Cate could hear them.
Cate and Elisa's birthdays fell very close to each other - barely three weeks apart - so the joke was often made that Elisa was Cate's birthday present. Cate didn't really understand this, as it was Mommy and Daddy who got to play with her, but Daniel soon explained it all to her in a way that she could understand.
He couldn't believe how good it felt to have these entertaining little beings in his life, and couldn't remember how he'd ever lived without them.
Daniel was careful to keep an eye on Sha're for the first few days after Elisa's birth for signs that she was heading into another depression, but to his relief she seemed just fine. It seemed to help that Cate was getting to the age where she was starting to talk in sentences, as that made Sha're feel that she wasn't alone when Daniel was gone. She had her hands full with the two girls, and could almost carry a conversation with one of them. That left little time for worry or homesickness.
Meanwhile, work at the SGC was just as adventuresome as ever. Visiting another alternate reality, being kidnapped by a bounty hunter... Daniel was starting to get used to such odd things happening. Paying a visit to Nick didn't feel quite so daunting after kneeling before Apophis and having to explain alternate realities to him.
The planned birthday visit came just over a month after Elisa's birth, not long after the incident with Aris Boch, the bounty hunter. Daniel was given the weekend off, so he packed his little family up and took them off to Oregon.
Elisa didn't take as kindly to flying as Cate had, and cried almost the entire way there. Daniel felt that didn't bode well for the rest of the trip, but as soon as they landed, the baby fell asleep and was fine from then on.
Cate reacted to this trip the same way she had reacted to their trip to Egypt - everything fascinated her. Daniel was sure that she never even blinked between leaving home and arriving at the hospital, she was too busy staring at all of the new sites and interesting people they passed.
Once they were there, Daniel left Sha're and the girls in the waiting area, and asked the attendant for Nick to be brought into the visitors' room. He only had to wait five minutes until he was told he could go in and see him.
The old feeling of butterflies came back to him as he raised his hand to the doorknob of the visitors' room. He had always felt that way when he'd visited Nick for all those years. He hated seeing him so hopeless and decrepit, especially when he remembered the energetic, passionate man he'd known as a child - the man he had always wanted to become.
After taking a moment to steel his nerves, Daniel opened the door and entered the room.
"Hey, Nick," he said quietly as he saw the old man sitting in one of the overstuffed chairs, staring at the wall. "Happy birthday."
Nick looked over at him when he heard his voice. "So it is you," he said. "I did not believe them when they said you had come to see me."
Daniel took a deep breath and stepped farther into the room, sitting down in a chair across from Nick's. "Yeah, it's me," he said. "It's good to see you."
Nick's eyes softened as he gazed at his grandson, but he didn't speak.
Daniel wasn't sure what to say next. Nick's unwavering gaze was making him feel even more nervous and throwing off his train of thought. "Um... I guess I mostly came because... I wanted you to meet your great-grandchildren."
"Great-grandchildren?" Nick repeated in what Daniel assumed to be either awe or disbelief. "I take it you are married?"
"Yes, my wife is here, too. She's... she's a wonderful woman. I know you'll love her."
"Don't tell me Sarah took you back."
Daniel winced and looked down at his hands. Sarah had been a sore spot between the two of them for the short time their relationship had lasted, and Nick had been quite triumphant when she had broken up with him. He had predicted as much from the moment Daniel had first mentioned they were seeing each other, and wasn't quiet about the fact. "No, Nick, it isn't Sarah."
"Good. She was no good for you. Right from the start, I told you..."
"Nick," Daniel interrupted. "Let's just... forget about all of that, okay? I'm happy now. I love my life, I have a growing family... I want you to be a part of it all."
"You love your life?" Nick narrowed his eyes at him. "Even after getting yourself laughed out of academia? Even after losing everything you had and the hope of achieving your goals?"
Daniel sighed and leaned his elbows on his knees, pressing his forefingers against his mouth. "I didn't lose everything, Nick. I thought I had at first, but then I met Sha're. She made me see that there was still hope for me to have a happy, fulfilled life."
Nick snorted. "So you threw away your career, but the love of a good woman is enough to make up for it."
"I didn't throw away my career, actually. I have a very good job, and I love it very much. I work for the Air Force..."
"You fly planes now, do you?"
Daniel shook his head in despair. He was beginning to regret coming here in the first place. "No, I work as a translator mostly," he said, using the usual cover story. "I get to travel a lot, go on the occasional dig, work alongside some of the greatest archaeologists and linguists I've ever met... It's all I've ever wanted to do, so yes, I'm happy."
Nick nodded slowly and rose from his chair to stand over by the window. He stood there in silence for a few moments, looking through the window with a thoughtful expression on his face. When he spoke, his voice sounded far away, as though he were lost in memories. "I am sorry."
"For what?"
Nick shrugged. "For so many things," he said. "For not adopting you when your parents died... for not believing your theories and ridiculing you for them... for chasing you away when you had lost everything but me." He turned halfway around to look over at Daniel. "Would you forgive me?"
Daniel stood up and crossed over to him. "Of course I forgive you," he said, laying his hand on Nick's arm.
"You must understand that it was all because I cared about you," Nick went on, tears filling his eyes. "I could not adopt you and drag you along with me as I travelled the world..."
"I know."
"When you started going on about your theories of the pyramids and the aliens, all I could think about was the way people had treated me for having similar theories about the crystal skull I found. I thought that if I could dissuade you from these beliefs..."
"I know, Nick," Daniel cut him off, giving his arm a gentle squeeze. "I know."
Nick looked into Daniel's eyes and nodded. "I am glad you have not turned into me, as I feared you would."
Daniel felt like someone had knifed him in the heart. He couldn't even respond to that. He felt so bad for Nick, not only for what he had gone through, but also for how worried he must have been during Daniel's similar experiences.
"I would like to meet your family now," Nick said, snapping Daniel out of his momentary trance.
"Yes, of course," Daniel said after he'd given himself a mental shake. "I'll bring them in." He smiled and patted Nick's arm, and then turned to leave the room.
He felt as though a very important page had just been turned in his life, but he wasn't sure yet just what would come of it.