Summary and Disclaimer from first three chapters same for this chapter.
Author's Notes: Two chapters in one day. Wow, this fic is growing like wildfire. Something about angst just pulls me in and burns away at my brain. I love it. It's such a catharsis thing for me. Well, enjoy. Review if you read please.
Chapter Four: Coming Down Fast
Craig and Marco stared at Manny. They had been a little bit surprised when she had stormed out of Spinner's room, all tears gone from her eyes, leaving only a salty trace. Mrs. Mason had returned a short second later, and after informing her that Spinner was awake, Manny grabbed Marco's wrist, and dragged him towards the elevator and the cafeteria, trusting Craig to follow along behind, which he did.
They had sat in as secluded a corner of the cafeteria they could find, and Manny had quickly spilled out everything Spinner had just said to her.
"Mio dio." Marco whispered.
"He seriously said all of that? He was serious?" Craig asked. Manny simply nodded in reply.
"Sure explains everything, doesn't it?" Manny said scathingly. Craig looked up from his hands in surprise.
"Manny, are you serious?"
Her eyes narrowed.
"I sure as hell am. Jimmy's in this same building, paralyzed. Rick is dead. And Spinner just lay there and told me it was practically his fault. He just said it, he was completely emotionless, like he didn't even care."
"Manny! He obviously cares, he tried to kill—-"
"Shhh." Marco shushed hastily. Craig sighed, and lowered his voice.
"He tried to kill himself because of this. I think he's pretty unsettled about it."
"You're taking his side? Jimmy's your friend too. Spinner told Rick that Jimmy did the paint thing. What kind of friend pushes their problems away and onto their friends?"
"Maybe one that's being yanked around by Jay Hogart?"
"Whatever, Craig." Manny stood to leave.
"Manny!" Craig called after her.
"What?"
"Don't tell anyone. It's his problem, he doesn't need you telling Liberty or Toby or JT or Raditch or anyone. Got it?"
"Whatever."
Craig growled as he dropped his head to the table.
Marco had started crying again.
---
It was a week later that Spinner stood uncomfortably inside the doorway of a small, fairly sparse room, one eye on the clock, waiting for it to strike three, so he could start waiting for it to strike four.
Manny had surprisingly done as Craig had told her, and kept her tongue. Mrs. Mason didn't want to know why Spinner had done what he had done; she just wanted to be sure that he'd never do it again.
It had been bad enough that he had been removed of the 'privilege' of giving himself his medication at school the day he had given his last dose to Jimmy to wake him up. Now it was kept under lock and key. His dosage was getting smaller every two days; they were taking him off of the stimulant. It had been a long time, years, since he had been off medication for his ADHD for longer than just one missed dose. He wasn't looking forward to when the effects of the disorder hit him full force again.
He wasn't allowed any sort of pill anymore, which was a bit of a downer, considering he was having raging headaches almost every day.
It surprised him that there were still people that attended Degrassi Community School that he didn't know of, even if he didn't know them.
The girl at hand was the same age as he, but she was small. Probably just five feet tall. Spinner noticed her very blue eyes the few times she looked up from the floor. All the rest of the time he was looking at her short black hair.
When Spinner had been told that he was going to being seeing a counselor, he wasn't really surprised. He saw Dr. Harris every day after school. After five appointments, Dr. Harris had told him of her other regular patient, a girl that attended the same school as he. Dr. Harris had obtained permission from both of their parents to give them a joint session. He had been surprised when Dr. Harris had told him that the girl, Blair Dalton, had also started to see her because of problems with a prescription drug.
Finally tiring of waiting for Dr. Harris to enter, Spinner went across the room, and sat down on the floor in front of Blair. She looked at him.
"Yes?" she said, coldly.
"I'm Spinner."
"I'm Blair, but you probably know that." Spinner detected her slight accent, and vaguely remembered Dr. Harris telling him that she had only moved to Canada about a year ago, after her mother had died.
There was an awkward pause.
"What was it?" She asked.
"Hmm?" He looked back up at her.
"The... drug. Harris told me you 'abused'," Spinner smiled at her air quotes, "a drug, but she didn't tell me what it was."
"Oh. Right. Ritalin."
"I didn't know Ritalin could screw you up that badly."
"I did. I've recently been told from every possible source that the active drug in Ritalin is just like crystal meth." He shook his head. "So, what about you?"
"Ah, you actually want my story in return? Well, alright. I was on Zoloft for anxiety disorder. Then I starting thinking suicidal thoughts. I made the mistake of not telling anyone. My mom walked in on me with a razor blade and a sink of hot water. Got me before I did anything stupid."
Spinner sat back, nodding thoughtfully.
"So... You ODed on Ritalin. Why?" She was serious. He wondered how he could be sitting here just talking with this girl he had never met before. Marco had come to his house the other night, had told him that Manny had told he and Craig everything, and started crying. Spinner had felt horrible telling Marco bluntly to leave his house, but he couldn't handle Marco crying over him. He didn't want anyone feeling sorry for him, he didn't think he deserved it. He didn't want anyone to know, he just wanted to sink into the earth and disappear from past and present. But here he was, about to tell this girl he didn't know about everything.
"You know about Rick Murray? The whole paint thing on that show, and then he..."
"Brought the gun, yeah." She looked at him carefully. "You're friends with the guy who got shot, aren't you? I recognize that hair."
"Yeah. Well... I'm one of the people who did the paint thing."
He waited for her to exclaim some expletive, or say something hurtful. But she just sat there nodding.
"Yeah, I could see contemplating for something like that. At least you had a reason. I just had a bad drug."
Spinner opened his mouth to speak, but just then, Dr. Harris entered, and Blair instantly reverted to her introvert self.