Alright… As far as the brackets, they will be updated at the end of the next match. However, there's no real trick to the brackets… They go exactly how, say, an NCAA tournament bracket would go. No altering will go on with the brackets (I think someone asked that).
Today's match features KOS-MOS, the android from Xenosaga, and Crash Bandicoot, former famous Sony mascot. BigCow wrote the prep, Furious J wrote the match, and Seadragon wrote the aftermath.
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Preshow
By the next day, the medical ward had nearly finished up undoing the damage dealt by the sudden chicken infestation. They were in for a bit of a surprise however when Kirby came flying in, with feathers sticking out of him. The normally pink puffball was mostly white with feathers pointing in every direction. He clucked sporadically and started pecking at the ground.
The healers tried restoring him to normal, but with no luck. Finally, Ness poked his head in and spoke up.
"Open his mouth!"
The healers did, and a star flew out. Kirby had apparently swallowed a chicken. A little upset by the interruption, they quickly kicked Kirby out.
Duke Nukem was leaving the medical ward as well, with tiny white feathers all over his exposed arms. He had apparently told one of the nurses that his entire body was covered in feathers as a result of the fowl attack, and asked if she would be willing to help get them off. No such luck. Duke's reputation was already such that he was striking out more often than Ness. Hence, he had nothing to lose by hitting on a robot this time.
KOS-MOS always seemed to be pacing, and collecting data. Apparently, robots didn't get bored. She was currently watching with detachment as Ness used Kirby as a ball.
"Hey, dollface. What do you say you shift gears and see if I can get your motor running? I'd love to turn you on baby, push your buttons..."
KOS-MOS stared at Duke. It was impossible to guess what she must have been thinking. Duke grinned at her.
"If whatever you are suggesting involves getting covered in feathers, I will have to decline."
"Yeah, well, you see, it was fowl play. Those chicks couldn't keep their hands off me. Can't imagine why, they must have gotten me confused with a big rooster. You know, a giant c..."
Tommy Vercetti ran up and interrupted him.
"Sweet cheeks! What are you doing with this bum?"
Duke Nukem smugly grinned at Vercetti. "Now see, darling, you don't want to be seen with this kind of loser. He doesn't love you for yourself, he just wants your weaponry cause he has no chance of winning on his own. I want you for you, hon."
KOS-MOS began walking away.
Vercetti spoke up again. "Ha! Big talk for the guy who lost to a white haired pretty boy! He's all talk and no action, baby. She knows I can handle myself- and her as well."
KOS-MOS spoke up again, but kept walking, leaving the two men behind.
"Ordinarily I would destroy you both, but I must win a match now, and the likely expenditure of ammo to deal with both of you would deplete my reserves by 12%. If either of you are here when I return I compute a 93% probability that you will leave in pieces."
Vercetti laughed nervously. "Uh, you know you're not allowed to prevent contestants from fighting in their upcoming matches, right?"
"I detect that neither of you have any need for your tongues to fight, unless it is to overload the auditory systems of your foes. If that is the case, other arrangements can be made."
Duke raised one eyebrow. "Apparently she likes it rough."
Vercetti decided against telling Duke about his numerous experiences with KOS-MOS; he simply shook his head and walked to the arena. It would be nice to see the robot pulverizing someone else for a change.
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Crash Bandicoot was literally bouncing off the walls. He span and dived around his room. Pretty soon, the whole crowd would get to see his finest moves in action. KOS-MOS was a robot. He had killed plenty of robots. Robots were predictable. Crash on the other hand, operated on pure animal instinct and ingenuity. Last year he beat a dancer but lost to a magician. Magicians were weird, but a robot…robots he knew how to deal with.
He practiced spinning around the room and slamming the ground. He grinned. He could do this. Confidently, he made his way out to the arena, where the mechanical contraption would soon meet its fate.
KOS-MOS emerged from her storage unit, having finished a final scrutiny of the uploaded data on her opponent, Crash Bandicoot. She entered the arena stadium, met by a loud cheer. Her opponent, the bandicoot himself, was already on the other side trying to pump up the crowd.
"EVERYBODY GET DOWN!!!!!" yelled Crash, doing the Egyptian. Having seen KOS-MOS he moved towards the center of the field in order to start the match.
"Oh yeah," said Crash, "Let's do it."
"Before the match starts I wish to inform you that I have carefully analyzed your strengths and attack plans." said KOS-MOS. "You have only a 38.023% chance of surviving this match. If you wish to surrender, now is your last chance."
"No way!" said Crash, the crowd submitted their approval with a roar of applause.
"In that case… Let us begin."
The announcer gave the signal and the bell rang out.
Immediately KOS-MOS yelled out, "MODE A-7!" She was then shrouded in light for a few moments as she underwent one of her many processes. The light vanished as quickly as it had come, as the robot stated matter-of-factly, "Performance up, 50%."
Crash responded by attacking with a spinning attack, however, his move had been anticipated. Crash watched in horror as the arm of KOS-MOS slowly morphed into a drill and thrust in his direction. "WHOA!!!!" yelled Crash. He barely dodged it and took to the evasive. He heard KOS-MOS yell, "R-Cannon" from behind him and began to zigzag back and forth dodging the sequential blasts. Wow, all that running from Cortex has really paid off. Crash thought to himself, grinning widely even as a beam of light whizzed by his head.
"Impressive," said KOS-MOS, slightly amused. "His agile movements have decreased my accuracy by 18%. More aggressive actions are required." KOS-MOS ceased fire. Crash, assuming she was out of ammunition, stopped to brag.
"OH YEAH!!! Can't touch this, baby! Mario ain't got nothin' on this!" Crash said, doing the Robot in front of the players booth.
While Bowser and Wario seemed to be quite entertained by Crash's antics, the Mario Brothers, and even their animal companions, Donkey Kong and Yoshi, seemed appalled.
"Hey-a, get-a back to the-a fighting." Mario yelled.
"Yeah, a who do you think-a you are-a." Luigi joined in.
Yoshi just sort of squealed something, but you could tell it was an insult.
Crash whipped around to give the Mario Brothers a better view of his backside, but while turned around he witnessed something that he rather wished he hadn't. KOS-MOS's abdomen was opening, all ready to reveal her next attack… And it was quick in coming. A blue pillar emerged from her back, then the words, "X-Buster" emerged from her mouth. Immediately hundreds of blue lasers shot out of her stomach, all converging on Crash Bandicoot.
"OH NO!!!" yelled Crash. His fate probably would've been decided there, but the beams trajectory had also been aimed at the player's booth. Grudgingly, Magus rose to his feet, realizing that his work was needed. He drew his breath and muttered a spell. Quickly a blue sphere of energy spun outward from his body enclosing the Player's Booth, as well as Crash, from incoming disaster. The laser impacted and exploded on the shield, leaving all the contestants, including Crash, unscathed. The bandicoot, a little uncertainly at first, rose to his feet, at the spot where he had been cowering earlier, and began to say, "OH YE-" Unfortunately as he rose up to fight anew, KOS-MOS had closed the distance between them and turned her right arm into a gigantic hammer. Crash saw the new weapon on his android opponent's arm a spilt second before it hit him straight on the noggin. A large bump rose from Crash's head, and he collapsed to the ground.
"The winner is KOS-MOS!!!" yelled the announcer.
KOS-MOS's Locker Room
KOS-MOS, the android with a weapon assortment that had made Ratchet jealous, had quickly returned to her locker room after her victory. She couldn't figure out why a being like Crash had even been there for the tourney… He was obviously inferior in skill to many of the present fighters, including herself, that KOS-MOS had seen and analyzed. The type of power she had enabled KOS-MOS to know from a simple scan of an opponent's capability… And it had shocked her that some of those arranged here could be so weak and still be among their world's most powerful.
KOS-MOS's examinations and thoughts of this new dimension's power were cut short by a rude, forceful, opening of the door to her locker room. With one look at her visitor, KOS-MOS's usually emotionless eyes narrowed.
Not this human again, thought KOS-MOS. And, yes, it was Duke Nukem. Once again, the tall, brash man was trying to get with one of the ladies... This time, KOS-MOS. "Well, well, well. We meet again. How about you see what kind of big guns I have?" This ungentlemanly-like behavior was starting to anger KOS-MOS, something that was very rare. It hadn't been something that had happened to her in any of her past experience, and she had been programmed with enough information to know that it was most impolite.
That… And it was just plain annoying.
"Please. If you do not leave, I'll be force to use extreme measures to eliminate you." said KOS-MOS. Duke, ever the womanizer, continued until KOS-MOS snapped.
Duke had been forced to make something of an undignified scramble from the locker room, as KOS-MOS's potent dual miniguns were suddenly loaded, and pointed straight at his face. Once again, as they had for the last month, Duke's wooing of women had failed. And he was getting more and more upset about this.
Um… Ladies? C'mon, this never happens to me! All of ya should be falling all over me by now!
It had all been a very new experience for the android… Many of these people had personalities unlike anything she had seen before. Unfortunately, most of the new personalities that had been evidenced hadn't been much to the robot's liking.
These are the sixty-four most worthy in all of time and space?
Crash's Locker Room
Crash Bandicoot, once considered a hero to many, had the feeling that all people who are washed up feel. This was it. I had a chance to regain my name and all the people who loved me would love me once again, thought Crash. Maybe his time was in the spotlight was up, and his fame has fallen to a new low. But, for Crash, it was the identity of the thing he'd lost to that angered him so much… His nemesis, Dr. Cortex, had created androids like the one he had faced in the arena, and he had beaten them all.
"It's time for me to retire from this business," said Crash. It'd been two years that he'd come to this new, detached dimension, bent on victory… But for the past two years, he had faced nothing but failure. He had quickly been ousted in both of his trips to this arena.
Can it be that I'm out of my league?
With that, he headed off to his hotel room to pack for his trip out of the dimension. They might remember Crash Bandicoot, but not for today's match with KOS-MOS.