Chapter 2: I Don't Dig Incest, Snape!

A Sensual Wish – chap 2- I Don't Dig Incest, Snape!
By: iNiGmA

Disclaimer: There's a random made up character for everyone – there's Harry for JKR and then there's some random shithead character made up by me! Whooo! LOl.. But, Harry and all related characters are all owned by JKR – who is friggin' awesome!

A/N: Wow, I got this chap out a lot faster than I expected to… lol… So, first of…. Harry Christmas, everyone! Secondly, um… let's see, for some random reason, all the asterisks and squiggly lines that separated the different parts in the last chapter all got cut out… so in this chap I tried to use a different method of separation - I hope it stays. So enjoy – I'll update soon!

"Oh no, no, no!" Harry cried as he got up and started searching for his clothes frantically while Steph sat on the floor and observed his sexy, muscular, naked body. "What time do you think it is?"

"I dunno…" she said, tilting her head to one side for a better angle. "About eight…. nine…"

Harry toppled over.

"Could be ten…." Steph said helpfully.

"I'm so fucked," choked Harry as threw his clothes on with a crazily unnatural speed. Steph sighed in disappointment. Harry crouched down beside her and stared into her eyes.

"I'm gonna go to Potions, OK?" He said. "Wait until everyone is gone and then go back to the dormitory. You can't go now 'cause you wouldn't let me get my-"

"-Invisibility Cloak?" Steph supplied with a huge grin. Harry looked confused as hell.

"Yeah… that," he said slowly. "Listen, how did you know that? Who are you, anyway? Well whatever, I don't have time, I'll see you after class. You know where the dormitory is, right?"

"I'll figure it out," said Steph with a huge grin.

"You know the password?"

"I'll figure it out," she said with an even bigger grin.

"OK, well I'll meet you there and then we'll talk. That OK?"

"Sure," said Steph, still grinning.

"OK, bye!"

She watched as Harry ran out of the bathroom and down the corridor.

"Wait in the dormitory?" Steph muttered as she reached for her clothes slowly. "That seems boring… why ever would I do that?"

Harry flew down to the dungeons like crazy while a chain of profanities played over and over again in his head like a broken record.

'Shit,' thought Harry, 'shit, shit, shit! I'm so late! Snape is gonna brutally murder me! SHIT!'

Being so distracted by his thoughts, Harry didn't notice the wall right in front of him and flew right into it. He was rebound back several feet and landed on his back.

"GRRRR!" Harry growled, jumping up. He looked around the empty corridor. "NO ONE SAW THAT!" He yelled gleefully.

His nose was aching and he raised a hand to it to find it coated in blood.

"Hmmm…." Harry muttered, "Excuses, excuses…"

oOoOo

Five minutes later, Harry burst into Snape's dungeon, blood dripping down his nose.

"Potter!"

"Yes, Professor Snape, sir?" Harry asked innocently.

"You're late, Potter."

"I'm sorry, sir."

"Why are you late, Potter?"

"I ran into a wall, sir."

Everyone who had been taking the test and had looked up when he first burst through the door began laughing like crazy.

"Excuse me?" Snape said.

"I said I ran into a wall, sir."

More laughs.

"So I went to the Hospital Wing, sir."

"Of course," said Snape idly. "The Famous Potter and the Hospital Wing. Of course… In that case, Potter, why is your nose still bleeding?"

"I got lost on the way, sir. Then I remembered that I had a test, so I came back here. I didn't want to miss your test, sir. So I came back here just for you, sir."

Still more laughs.

"You're so stupid, Potter," Draco Malfoy called out.

"Why thank you for that brilliant assessment, Mr. Malfoy," said Snape coolly. "You, Potter, come here," Snape added, beckoning Harry to him. Harry did as he was instructed, rubbing his aching nose with one hand.

"It's interesting, Potter," said Snape in a deadly whisper as he flung a copy of the test at Harry so hard it almost knocked his glasses off his face. "This morning, Potter, I woke up in the west wing corridor with a huge bump on my head and my memory peculiarly vacant. Oddly, Potter, for some reason, out of nothing else, I managed to remember your face. I was wondering, Potter, if you could possibly inform me of the reason for that?"

"I have no clue, Professor," said Harry naively, plastering a mystified expression on his face.

"No clue at all, Potter?" Snape whispered so inaudibly that Harry could barely hear him, even as Snape leaned even closer to him. "None whatsoever?"

"Oh, I dunno," said Harry, "perhaps you're having kinky dreams about me, professor?"

Snape turned more purple than Harry had ever seen him. He looked positively livid. Harry laughed inwardly.

"Sit. Down. Potter," Snape managed to grit out. "If you value your life, Potter, then, I urge you, sit down!"

"Right you are, professor," said Harry with a huge grin as he headed to the back of the dungeon and plopped down next to Ron and Hermione, still holding the test. He had barely taken out a quill when a note from Ron found its way onto his lap. He opened it.

Harry, what did you say to Snape? He looks ready to kill someone!

I asked him if he was having kinky dreams about me, wrote Harry, sending the note back to Ron. The reply was short and simple:

...

Harry wrote: Hahaha, what?

Why?

I'll tell you later.

So, why were you really late?

I ran into a wall, I was serious…

Hahaha, Harry… OK then where were you this morning? And last night, too?

Harry looked at the paper, contemplating what to write. He finally settled on the truth.

I was having mad sex with a mad hot girl who fell from the ceiling, he wrote.

Ron gave me an incredibly weird but hilarious look and chucked the note to Hermione. She glanced down at it and, completely disregarding her test, gave a loud shriek.

"YOU WERE WHAT?!"

oOoOo

"Awww, where's Harry?" Steph grumbled as she ambled down some random corridor. "Grrr, I lost him! Dammit! I should've just run after him naked! How am I supposed to get to Potions, anyway? Which stairway is it? I dunno, I dunno, I DUNNO! DAMMIT!"

She leaned against a wall, exhausted. It suddenly gave way and she plummeted down into darkness.

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Steph screamed happily. She slid down into another corridor and jumped up. "Am I near potions?! Author, give me a sign!"

A little floating wooden sign appeared in front of her. It read:

Courtesy of Rin and InuYasha, the totally in love couple, and their future sexy demon daughter, happily present….. THE POTIONS CLASSROOM!

"Teehehehehe, thanks, dude, you rock!" Steph cried.

The message on the sign changed to:

Steph is most welcome. However, Rin is currently distracted and wishes to return to sex with InuYasha and hopes that Steph will find Harry all by herself. Rin and InuYasha wish Steph a most pleasant day and a Harry Christmas.

"Uh huh, OK," said Steph. The sign disappeared. She turned to the door with a huge grin. This was going to be so much fun….

oOoOo

"MS. GRANGER, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" Snape bellowed.

"Um…" Hermione stammered.

"THIS IS A PRACTICE OWL EXAMINATION! CAN'T YOU REFRAIN FROM CALLING OUT JUST THIS ONCE?!"

"B-But…" She stuttered, "But I…"

"NO BUTS, MS. GRANGER! YOUR TEST IS VOID! VOID, I SAID!"

"V-Void?!" Hermione gasped.

"That's right, it's void!"

"NO!" She yelled. "YOU CAN'T DO THAT! YOU CAN'T NOT COUNT MY TEST!"

"I ASSURE YOU, MS. GRANGER, I CAN – AND I WILL!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Hermione screamed dropping down to her knees with fountains of tears sprouting from her eyes. "NO, YOU CAN'T DO THAT, YOU CAN'T, YOU CAN'T!"

The door suddenly creaked open. Hermione and Snape desisted in their yelling match and both turned to face the door, Hermione with the most miserable expression imaginable. Steph stood framed in the doorway, a timid look plastered on her face.

"Hello…." She said in the softest voice conceivable.

"Who are you….?" Snape said slowly. He stared at the girl, confused. Though he was sure he had never seen her before, her face loomed before him just as Potter's from last night… why… Her and Potter…. That damn Potter! Potter who implied that Snape could perhaps be having kinky dreams about him… Repulsive little Potter…. Snape shuddered.

"I'm Steph, professor Snape," she said sweetly as she entered the room, everyone's eyes upon her.

"Steph what?" He asked aggressively. "What house are you in? Are you a first year? Why are you in my dungeon?"

"Potter," she grinned.

"Excuse me?"

"It's Steph Potter."

"Potter?!" He hissed. "As in Harry Potter? Are you in some way related to him?"

"Oh God no," said Steph. "I'm Harry's loving girlfriend and future wife! But I don't dig incest, so I can't possibly be related to Harry, wouldn't you say?"

Snape stared at her, completely lost for words.

"Excuse me, Professor," said Steph, "but your students find you rather boring, so please leave."

Please leave.

Where had he heard that before?

"What-" Snape began but she lunged at him and before he could react, she grabbed his wand and pointed it at him.

"Stupefy!" Steph yelled.

The desired effect was achieved and Snape fell unconscious at her feet. She jumped on his desk; everyone's stunned stares directed at her.

"I'LL BE TEACHING THIS CLASS FROM NOW ON!" She yelled, with a huge grin as she stared around at the sea of shocked students laid out before her.

What will Steph do next? Think about it…. Hahaha, so many possibilities… read and review and I'll update! Reviews motivate me to work faster, ppl! :)

A/N#2: smiles Like it, ppl? If you do, PLEASE review! Let it be an Xmas present.. like this chap is from me to anyone who reads it! Lol… The next chap shall be more amusingly perverted and will have more Steph in it. This one is longer than the last chap tho… I think… so I'm cutting it off here.

harry's4menotu: yay, I'm glad u like it dude! Merry xmas! Okie… I'll ease of da cursing… or I'll try lmao… and I shall never put a lemon in this… ever…

-iNiGmA-