Note: Thanks so much for the wonderful reviews. I'm sorry to announce that this is the final chapter, because many of you seem to have wanted it ta go for much longer. I hope you still enjoy readin' this though. x-0; It was hard for me to find a way to end it, but I hafta say that I did leave alotta stuff open. Maybe I'll work on a continuance for this after I get rid o' some plot bunnies. Hehe.
The Barn
Chapter 4: If It Wasn't For You
Logan sat in the bed of the Chevy, his back against the outside cab, left leg bent up and his right laying straight out in front of him. He fiddled with an unlit cigar in his right hand between his fingers as Ororo watched him, sitting on the flat bed at the end of the truck. He sighed, putting a hand to his head and pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. Logan didn't know how to express his feelings toward Ororo, or even if he should express those feelings. She came after him. That had to mean something, right? The quiet was becoming overwhelming, so Logan decided to break it gruffly. "You hadta see me, but ya ain't sayin' anythin'." he muttered as they continued to sit in silence.
Ororo looked up and smiled tightly. "I know," she answered quietly. "I thought maybe, if we came to sit out here it would be easier."
His brows furrowed as he pulled a silver Zippo from his left pocket and finally lit his cigar. Taking a few puffs and letting the smoke waft out through his nostrils, Logan cast his deep hazel eyes upon Ororo.
"I've missed you." her voice came out slightly hesitant, as if she was truly worried what he would say. Fidgeting, Ororo pulled the long jacket she wore tighter around herself. There was a bit of a chill in the air and their breaths were starting to come out as small puffs of condensation like the smoke from Logan's cigar.
Logan snorted bitterly. "Yeh, ya missed me so much ya couldn't even visit me in the hospital." The words came out before he could stop himself. That was harsh, you jackass, he thought to himself, immediately regretting what he'd said. It was what he was feeling at the time, and he just let it out. The words probably came a little from the alcohol too.
"I deserved that." Ororo admitted quietly with a sadened frown. She forced herself not to start crying again. He was right.
Sighing, Logan looked over at her again, his features softening. "Look 'Ro, I didn't mean it. I know it was hard enough-"
"No," she shook her head slowly, cutting him off. "I shouldn't have been so selfish. I won't deny that it was difficult thinking of you just...just lying in that military hospital and possibly...dying." Ororo paused to compose herself and force back tears again. Her voice was strained as she continued. "But I can't even imagine how hard it was for you to wake up after all those years....with nobody to see you through your suffering."
Logan felt his heart wrenching in his chest at her words. He didn't want to remember how it was, waking up without Ororo being there, then later receiving just a lousy letter explaining her absense. The thought reminded him of his nightmare where she had visited him, but then disappeared before he could get to her. "'Ro, I can't blame you," he rasped once he'd found his voice again. He gazed into her watery eyes and managed a pathetic attempt at a smile. "If I hadn't been thinkin' 'bout you...I don't think I ever woulda came outta that coma."
Ororo smiled shakily, her lower lip quivering as tears spilled from her eyes.
"Can I ask ya sometin'?" Logan asked suddenly with a raised eyebrow as he rose his chin to look at her. Without waiting for a response he questioned, "Why Summers?"
There was a minute with nothing but empty air between them. Then Ororo met his steady gaze. "Truth?" she asked with a sudden bashful laugh, getting a nod from Logan to continue. Her voice softened. "He was there." she admitted softly with a partial shrug. "Scott was a nice guy. I think he knew that my heart would never fully be his...but for awhile he needed someone to care for too. He wasn't you by far...but he was there, and I -" Ororo's voice cracked and more tears trailed freely down her soft cheeks. "I didn't want to be alone."
Feeling bad for her emotional outburst, Logan let out a sympathetic sigh and scooted down towards the end of the truck bed where she was sitting. He testily put an arm over her shoulder and she slumped into him, wrapping her arms tightly around his middle.
"I'm sorry Logan," she cried heartfully. "I'm so, so sorry!"
Logan was suddenly lost in a daze at her words and he found himself staring across the barren landscape as the cold air encircled them.
"Oh Logan, I'm so sorry!" Ororo cried regretfully as she climbed up from the floor after his crutch got caught behind her foot and they both tumbled to the floor.
He grimaced painfully, then tried to hide it with a laugh from their conjoined clumsiness. "It's a'right 'Ro, jus' help me up."
She took hold of his hand firmly while grabbing the lone crutch off the floor and handing it to him. Her cheeks were flushed violet but she looked him over, concerned that she had hurt him in the fall. "Logan, are you sure you're alright? I'm so, so sorry."
"Yeh, I'm okay, really," he assured Ororo after she helped him up, then absently rubbed at his ribs a moment before smiling crookedly and hobbling over to take a seat on the couch. Then he started laughing, shaking his head. "We're a graceful pair aren't we?" he said with a grin.
Ororo laughed along with him, shaking her head and planting a kiss on his forehead.
Clearing his throat, Logan shook his head and displaced the memory from his mind. He slowly unwrapped Ororo's arms from his middle and pulled away, sliding off the truck bed and standing up. As she looked at him with those teary eyes, his heart just broke. He was still desperately in love with her, but he wasn't sure fixing things between them would be that easy. They were both pretty emotionally unstable after what they'd been through, and neither really knew what to do with their lives or where they were going. "I gotta go..." Logan began unsteadily, running a hand through his hair. He jerked a thumb at his motorcycle and edged toward it, wavering a smile that ended up looking more like a grimace. "Fer the night I mean. Gonna head inta town, get a room at the motel or somethin'."
Ororo sniffled and nodded understandingly, wiping away the tears that streaked her face. She wasn't going to ask Logan if he wanted to stay at her mother's place another night, she already knew he'd refuse. She started to climb out of the truck bed when she heard his gruff voice again.
"I'll see ya t'morrow." he said lowly, jerking his chin toward the old Chevy. "I'll be here workin'."
Smiling a little as she turned away slightly so he couldn't see, Ororo closed her eyes, happy in knowing that he'd be returning. He even said he'd see her again, that was a good sign. "Goodnight." she called out quietly before his Harley roared to life, and she received a brief nod in return.
- - - - -
Running a hand roughly over his face, Logan climbed out of the bed and scrunched up his toes as his bare feet touched the grungy grey carpet of the motel room. It was just about 7:30 a.m., and after the late night he had, Logan had only gotten about two hours of sleep. He yawned tiredly and rubbed at the side of his head. There was a dull throbbing of a headache, and he decided that maybe he'd take a Tylenol or two instead of just waiting for the pain to go away on it's own. He wasn't so sure this headache was from the bullet in his head, but more likely from lack of sleep. Reaching his arms toward the water-stained ceiling, Logan's shoulders and elbows cracked and popped before he dropped his arms back against his sides. He lumbered toward the bathroom, hoping that a shower would leave him feeling a little more refreshed before he went back to the old barn to work on his truck.
- - - - -
By the time Ororo got the courage to stop by the barn, it was three o' clock in the afternoon. She pulled her Jeep down the winding dirt road, dust clouds forming around her vehicle as she came to a stop and killed the engine. She wandered toward the truck with a raised eyebrow, looking it over. There were new tires, and they weren't flat either. Ororo found Logan sitting in the truck bed with the neck of a beer bottle dangling loosely between his thumb and forefinger. "Hi," she said quietly, figuring that he had to have known she was there.
Shifting position, Logan absently pushed the three empty beer bottles behind the tool box that sat in the truck bed with him. He blinked a few times, feeling slightly buzzed with his vision a little blurry for a moment. "Hey," he scooted toward the end of the truck bed and let his legs hang over.
Ororo leaned up against the old Chevy, resting an arm on a side of the truck bed. She briefly licked her dry lips and sighed. "Been thinking?" she asked gently.
Logan took a swig from the beer bottle before setting it down. "Yeh." he raised an eyebrow, glancing at her. "You?"
Bowing her head and smiling faintly, Ororo nodded. "Yes," she admitted, then looked back up again to find Logan still staring intently at her. "What have you been thinking about?"
"Hn," he half-smiled thoughtfully, then said, "Us." Pausing, Logan slid off the truck bed and leaned alongside it as Ororo was. "How 'bout you?" his voice lowered.
She stifled the ironic laugh that wanted to escape her lips. "Me too." Ororo suddenly pulled away from the truck and began swaying back and forth on her heels. Changing the subject, she asked, "Would you like to come up for dinner? Fried chicken, my mother's recipe."
Logan couldn't hide his smirk and gently reached for her smooth hand. "How 'bout we start over. A new beginning fer us?" he suggested quietly, knowing he was being rather bold and just hoping not to see rejection in Ororo's blue eyes.
Instead, tear drops trickled suddenly down her cheeks and she smiled. "I'd like that."
- - - - - The End - - - - -
Note: That's it. Please review!!! I know the ending came kind of abruptly and I had other plans for the story but didn't quite know how ta get there. Sorry. I hope you enjoyed anyway! x-0; Please review!