A/N: I just want to thank StorytellerD, Kitty Kat, Val-Creative, Allegra Moon, SnakeCharmer13 and amber-1134 for reviewing, it is greatly appreciated. And yes, unfortunately the story has to end in tragedy.
Still belongs to Rufio, the inspiration for this chapter. Check it out...
"Trapped inside of your eyes,
gleam like stars above, emptiness inside.
Caught inside of your arms,
warmer than the sun, never felt so full. "
I opened the door and walked into my house, which was surprisingly clean. I dumped my bag on the floor next to the front door and headed into the kitchen. I pulled a plastic glass out from the clean dishwasher and poured some sink water into it, gulping it down. Placing the glass down on the scuffed countertop, I looked around the kitchen.
The house was empty. With my mother putting in overtime at the salon, Jack at daycare and Archie still at school, I was alone. And the silence of the house was frightening. I exited the kitchen and headed downstairs after grabbing my bag from its position near the front door. Maybe some homework would make the day just go away…
Once I had reached my bed, I scrounged through my bag to find my homework and pulled it out, laying it in front of me. I lifted up Kwan's assignment. Write an Essay on Shakespeare's lifestyle. Three pages minimum. Crap.
I sighed and dug a pencil and a few spare pieces of paper out of my bag. Let's see… William Shakespeare. I tapped my pencil against the paper as my mind drew blank after blank. My eyes grew heavy waiting for an inspiration to come and eventually they closed. Almost immediately I was revisited by images of the day of the shooting. Blood, lots of it. Toby standing next to me, his eyes as big as tires as he stared at the gun. Rick with the gun, pointing it at me, finger on the trigger. Pointing. Point at me. Pulling the trigger.
Bang.
I blinked, opening my eyes. My hands clenched covered in a cold sweat from clutching the pencil too tightly. It was just a dream.
I heard noises coming from the upstairs. Archie and my mother must have come home, and by the crying sounds, Jack must have come back too. I sighed, dropping the pencil on my blank sheets of paper. And dropping my head into my hands.
"Emma! Honey, we're home! Come up for dinner." My mother's familiar voice rang out.
I sat up and kicked my legs over the side of my bed and onto the floor. With one glance back at my homework I hurried up the stairs. My mother had Jack in her arms, feeding him a bottle. Snake was on the couch, removing his shoes and massaging his feet.
"How was school?" My mom asked almost as soon as my feet reached the top of the stairs. What was I supposed to tell her? That I'd walked out on the counselor? That Manny and I were practically to the point where we could literally kill each other? That I was having hallucinations of being shot?
"It was there." I replied flatly. "I'd rather not talk about it."
"You never want to talk, not since the day of the shooting. Em, Snake and I are worried about you. If you could just talk to us, we could help."
There it was again, the 'talking helps' idea that counselors had been forcing on me ever since the shooting. It was getting really irritating.
"Look, I don't want to talk about it. Okay? Maybe I don't want to remember what happened at the shooting!" I snapped.
My mother gave me a worried look that told me we weren't through with the conversation and that I'd have to face her eventually. Whatever.
"Fine. We'll talk later. Snake and I are exhausted, so we were going to order some Chinese, what would you like?" She asked, lifting Jack up along her side.
"Nothing. I already ate." I lied. The blood from my dream had made me lose my appetite.
"Alright. Well, I've got to put Jack to bed. Maybe tomorrow we'll talk about… You know…" She muttered, giving me a brief stare. I could fill in the blank: Rick. The shooting. My feelings.
I nodded, letting her have the belief I would actually talk. As if a day would be enough for me to be ready to relive the experience. I didn't want to talk. Ever.
So as soon as my mother had gone into Jack's room, I returned back downstairs to lie on my bed and stare at my ceiling. I lay there for hours. At one fifty am I was still laying there, clad in the clothes I had worn to school, the images still fresh in my mind. I needed to get out. Out of this room, out of this house, away from all the thoughts and images slowly closing me in.
So I picked up my cell phone and dialed.
"Hello" A groggy voice sounded on the other end of the line."
"Did I wake you?" I questioned.
"W-what? No. Just watching a movie… Closing my eyes a bit." He replied, yawning. "I'm awake though. What's up?"
"JT, are you up for a walk? I don't feel like being here right now..."
"Sure, where to?" He asked.
"I don't know, the park? As long as we go somewhere."
"Sounds good. I'll meet you in front of your house in ten minutes." He paused and then added in a playful voice, "Don't forget a jacket this time."
"Oh, sorry, I forgot to give your sweatshirt back today. I'll bring it..." I glanced over at the sweatshirt sprawled across my desk.
"Naw, it's okay Em, really. Keep it for now." He replied.
"Alright. Come by the garage, I don't want to wake my parents." I muttered and hung up, placing my cell phone on my dresser and pulling on my fleece coat.
I tiptoed over to the garage door and quietly pulled it open, slipping through the space and into the cold night air. After closing up the garage door, I heard a voice behind me.
"Sneaking out at night Ms. Nelson? Haven't you heard about the prowlers?"
"And I suppose you're the scariest prowler of them all James Tiberius?" I replied, turning around to face a smiling JT.
"Ouch. I should call you name-calling Nelson." He said.
I grinned at the sound of the term as we began walking in the direction of the park. We continued talking. He spoke of his sister coming home for Christmas and the acting class he was planning to take over the summer. I smiled. There was no mention of Degrassi or the shooting, just what I had wanted.
"So, you're a fellow astrologist?" He asked, his shaggy brown hair falling into his eyes as he looked over at me.
"Not really… I just love watching them, always have." I answered, taking in a deep breath of air. It was fun walking with JT, he made me feel… Happy. Something I hadn't experienced for a while.
"I used to look up all the constellations in books and try and spot them… I'd stay up to late and my parents would scour the house searching for me, only to find me in the back yard with the constellation book spread across my face." He grinned. I couldn't help but smile with him.
"So you know the different constellations?" I questioned, as we made our way down another sidewalk. He nodded and then raised a finger, pointing to a group of stars out in front of us.
"That's Aquarius, the stars up there look a lot like a tail." He said, pointing to the trail of stars.
"And that's O Ryan's belt…" JT continued, pointing to the cluster of stars directly overhead.
He grinned and brought his gaze back to me.
We stopped walking and just stood on the pavement, watching each other. JT took a small step toward me, his brown hair brushed away from his eyes by the wind. I lost myself in his eyes. The bluish-green haze was captivating, just like the stars above us.
Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, his lips brushed against mine. Time just stopped and everything disappeared. It was just the two of us, standing here in the dark, kissing. But for some odd reason, I didn't mind at all. In fact, I didn't want to stop.
His lips felt warm against mine. We continued kissing for several moments, before he pulled back. His cheeks were red, I didn't know if it was from the cold, or if he was blushing.
"S-sorry." He mumbled apologetically. "I guess I just… I'm sorry Emma. I know you've been through a lot. I shouldn't have…" He rambled on.
I was surprised. Had JT just willingly kissed me? Had I actually enjoyed kissing one of my best friends? Millions of questions raced through my mind as my heart pounded. I just stood there in silence as JT rambled on. I didn't hear him. I was too busy wrapped up in trying to sort out what had just happen, and most importantly, what was happening to me.
It was wonderful, the way his shaggy hair had fallen back into his eyes and he was smiling, right before he kissed me. The kiss had been just as amazing. He tasted of cinnamon and smelled of honesty. I felt like a princess in the fairytale stories. Discovering myself smile as I recalled what had just happened.
Then it hit me.
I had fallen for my best friend.
I turned back to JT, who was still rambling on fragments of apologies. I took a step towards him and pressed my lips softly against his silky-textured cheek.
He stopped talking as I pulled back. He was smiling again, it was warm and relaxed and made my knees feel weak. It was odd how everything changed in a few mere moments, suddenly JT was making my knees feel weak and my heart beat faster.
But I didn't want it to stop. I didn't want to go back to feeling empty and alone.
"You mean a lot to me Em. You're an amazing person, I couldn't help but fall for you." He said, running a hand through his messy hair.
"I think I've fallen for you, JT…" I whispered, slipping my hand into his as we slowly made our way back down the sidewalk.