Chapter Six
Secrets Broken
"Captain's Log; supplemental: The Bravinan ship is still in orbit about the planet with us. Of course, I'd have been informed overnight of any change, but it is good to know I can get a few hours sleep without the world coming to an end – at least once in a while.
"Today, though neither of us was so gauche as to mention it yesterday, begins the bargaining process for a nice little world we both want. Earth wants to mine it for deutronium, the Brevinans want to colonize it, and I doubt they'll want us blasting up the rock strata. According to tertiary commander Alir, there is already a colony on site; something supported by their sudden arrival yesterday in their shuttle, but if there is a colony T'Pol's having a mighty hard time finding it.
"Unfortunately, having seen the wonders aboard the Bravinan ship, I feel like I'm entering into these bargaining sessions much like a poor foreign merchant at a well established bazaar, coming in with my hat in my hand.
"But first, before I go, there is something of additional concern with one of my own crew; and I have the strange feeling that dealing with this matter is going to open up some insights into the larger issue. I don't know why; T'Pol would say the feeling is not 'logical', but it just always seems to happen in one way or another where issues involving this particular person are involved."
---
Breakfast this morning was something that neither Ensigns Hoshi Sato nor Elizabeth Cutler were looking forward to. Between 0400 and 0700 neither had gotten any significant rest, and as they regrouped this morning in the galley they had no real answers either.
By tacit agreement, they met outside the door and entered together, finding their friend at their usual table. "This is a real mess." Hoshi muttered.
"Well, if that isn't an insightful observation of the bloody obvious." She flinched under her friend's harsh glare. "I'm sorry! I'm tired as hell and I don't have any answers either. I think we should talk to Trip first. Maybe he knows something more than we do."
"That won't be hard."
"So, we agreed?"
Hoshi looked across the room at the young woman, now back in her customary civilian attire. She had already started in on her rather generous portion of breakfast; and for the first time the officers knew the reason why. "No. I'll hit her high, you hit her low." She started across the room, leaving Cutler behind.
Liz watched her best friend cross the room and shook her head. "Damn it!" She whispered feelingly. "I knew you were going to say something like that!"
Nevertheless, she followed, skipping the breakfast buffet completely, deciding if she was going to have to deal with tension acid, she'd rather not have her eggs benedict completely ruined. "Hey, guys." She greeted them with faux casualness.
"Galyas!" Tia exclaimed brightly. "Dampris ilinta!" Liz looked at Hoshi, meeting her eyes.
'Okay, so I have to be the one to hit her low.' "I notice you're not big on English lately." She said, sitting down and giving Hoshi a brief look of daggers.
"De stal?"
"You know, English? That little thing you've been racking your brain for five months to get right so you 'can communicate with your friends without the crutch of the UT'? You never do quite get it, but I enjoy listening to you try so well."
Tia looked at Liz like the woman had struck her with a hammer between the eyes. Appropriate, since that was what Liz felt like she'd done. The younger woman looked at Hoshi in silent consternation before turning back to Liz.
"Liz, I know why you to me say that not!"
Cutler was surprised, because the words actually rang false. And below that ring, there was a discordant tone of fear!
"How do you feel?" Hoshi asked suddenly. "Feel tired?" Tia looked at her, confusion mounting.
"Feel I cusla." Tia told her with a smile, but Hoshi shook her head.
"Cusla means 'well', as in 'healthy'. I didn't ask if you were healthy. We say 'fine'; why didn't you say 'fine'? Last week you would have, or even 'evara' would have done in a pinch. Or even 'silra' if you just felt 'fair'."
Tia looked from one woman to the other, shaken. "I know what you want not!" She breathed; her voice tremulous.
"We just want to know how you are."
"Li … Li tuvi …"
"English, hon." Liz countered. Tia was getting more and more flustered by the moment.
"Li – um, I you understand not! Why angry with me are you?" Her fear was mounting; she barely kept her voice for quivering.
"Hon, we're not angry with you." Liz assured her. "But if we were, would we have a reason to be?"
"N- !" It was as if her voice had shut itself off.
"Hon, I once told you I would play poker with you any day of the week. Do you know why that is?"
"Nyas!" She could barely whisper. Liz leaned in close, her own whisper almost intimate.
"Because you can't lie worth shit."
"I want to you lie not!"
"I know, hon, that's why you're so lousy at it. You don't want to do it, you can't evade … why not simply go for the truth? You'll find it a lot easier to say."
Tia stared at her from inches away, her terror mounting. "What of truth do know you?" She breathed, closer to panic than the women had ever imagined. "Promised me he did! Promised me!" She turned to Hoshi. "Promised me!"
Liz and Hoshi exchanged glances. This was getting bigger than they expected; maybe bigger than they could handle. Suddenly they were very sorry they had started it. "Promises aren't the issue." Hoshi temporized. "We're concerned about you. We can see you're hurting. We want to help."
"Good morning, ladies." An unexpected voice beside the table attracted their attention, and when they looked up Jonathan Archer was standing next to them. The two ensigns were momentarily distracted, but nothing could distract them long from the expression on the Auran's face.
She looked up at the tall Captain and stopped breathing.
-
Jonathan Archer had greeted his crew casually enough, but the response he got was surprising indeed. Hoshi and Liz Cutler were startled out of whatever deep discussion they had been whispering about, but their reaction paled beside that of the subject of his search.
Tia looked up at him, frozen. Her eyes were wide with a flood of emotion deeper than he had ever seen, even when they had first encountered the Silurian ship on the first day she had come aboard, but she was absolutely motionless. She did not breathe, did not blink her wide golden eyes. It was like she had turned into a statue.
Trying not to feel like a gorgon, he tried to break the spell lest she pass out from lack of air, or an overabundance of terror, whichever overwhelmed her first. "Pardon the interruption, but I was wondering if you'd care to join me for breakfast."
"Break fast?" She asked in a tiny voice, seeming to breathe just enough to form the word.
"Yes." He continued, trying to maintain a casual manner, hoping she would snap out of her paralysis if he gave her the chance. "I thought you'd want to discuss the matter of that Auran ship."
"Ship?" She repeated in an even tinier voice.
"Yes, I imagine you must have quite a few concerns."
"Cerns?" He looked at the other two, realizing that whatever was happening he was simply not getting through. He was just about to ask Hoshi to repeat his offer in Auran when Cutler came up with a more prosaic solution by grasping Tia's shoulder and giving her a short but sharp shove. Hoshi, on her other side, was ready to steady the girl, but it was not necessary; the sudden jolt had broken her paralysis. "Wrenaouq Archer, I – breakfast – I – I hungry am, and – I – ship, yes, the ship; we must the ship find!"
"Would you like to join me in the Captain's mess, and we can discuss it?" She turned eyes to him that were as fearful as ever.
"Nyas! I – I mean daai!" But she shook her head, backing away in the chair. "Nyas. I discuss mean can you I with crin tolia vu li nyas! Li quals!" She jumped with a sharp exclamation; then looked at Cutler, profoundly shocked. "Liz! Why kick me you?"
"Just go with him." She looked up at the bemused officer. "She'd love to join you for breakfast."
Archer looked down at the trio in consternation. That there was more going on then he understood was obvious, but there was more time later to go over what. It at least had the effect of getting Tia on her feet, though she left her food behind. But she started toward the door to the private galley with the hesitant reluctance of someone walking the last steps to the gallows. He looked questioningly at the ensigns, but both shrugged.
"I'm sorry, Captain, I don't have a clue." Hoshi apologized.
"We're hoping that when you find out you can tell us." Liz offered. He looked up in time to see Tia enter the smaller room, looking like she expected never to come out again.
-
When Archer entered a few seconds behind her, it was to see her standing by the table, eyes downcast. He tried to remain casual, going to the center seat. This way, whichever chair she chose, she could not be far away. But when he sat down, she still stood with eyes downcast, unable to seat herself, unable to look at him. "Miss Anlor?"
She nodded. "Wrenaouq Archer." She whispered faintly.
"Won't you sit down?" She almost looked up at him in surprise, as if surprised that she was not already doing so; or was it surprise that she could? But she again looked away from his eyes and managed to sit down without once looking at him. "I wanted to talk to you." She stared at her clasped hands on the table.
"Know that I do." She whispered. A few moments of uncomfortable silence, which threatened to extend into eternity.
"It's a bit hard if you won't look at me." He tried to make the comforting smile come through in his voice. She tried to do so, but each time she managed she looked away almost immediately, unable to meet his eyes. Archer watched her for several seconds, and then tried a different tack. "I'd have thought, with all that's happened; both with the incident the other day and now with that Auran ship, that you'd want to talk."
"Muulyissi." She whispered. "Too muulyissi. Can not." He was surprised.
"'Muulyissi'. That means 'embarrassed', doesn't it?" She nodded bleakly. "Why?"
"Know you my shame." She whispered, studying her clenched hands. "Know you do what done I have. Sorry, I am. So sorry!" Her voice broke on her last word, and she tried desperately to get back her control.
Archer was glad she could not see the surprise that registered in his face at this revelation. He thought she was having problems over the Auran ship, but clearly that was not it. Or rather, not that alone. "What you did…" He said carefully. "It was serious."
She nodded miserably. "Did want to nyasi … not. Had to!" He sat back, very surprised at all this, but wanting to draw her out.
"I think its time you told me everything."
"Shar-les told you." She whispered to the table. He thought that news was very interesting indeed. He tried to keep his voice as gentle, as non-threatening, as he could.
"I'd much rather have it in your own words." She looked up very slowly, forcing herself to. Finally she could reach the level of his eyes.
"So decide my punishment you can?" She whispered in a tremulous voice. He sighed, deciding to drop the extraction of the story, deciding there was a better way.
"Tia, in the months you've been on board we really have not had much chance to talk. I mean to really talk. You've never been in here for a nice leisurely meal and conversation, and that's very much my fault. I should have invited you here months ago."
"Scared I would have been to come." She admitted in a whisper. He was astonished. After all they had been through…
"Why?" She did not look up. "Tia, are you frightened of me?"
"Nyas." She whispered, shaking her head, but then she nodded. "Daai. I mean, nyas; I mean…" Her breath ran out.
"Well, which is it?" He asked with a gentle smile. She turned to look up at him, not lifting her head.
"Daai!" She whispered, astounding him. "Now daai."
"Why?" She started to answer, but then looked down again. "Tia, have I ever given you any reason to be afraid of me?"
"Nyas." She could barely be heard. "I have."
"Wait." He wanted to be sure he understood this, even without the UT. "You've given yourself a reason to be afraid of me?" She nodded miserably.
"Daai."
"Well, I'd sure like to know what it is."
"Know you my shame." She insisted, her voice starting to break. "Did want to do it not! Had to. Then, to save everyone who died, had to again! But now everyone knows."
"Not everyone." Of that he was sure.
"Shar-les. You. Now Hoshi and Liz! Enough!" She turned away, barely able to keep her voice level. He knew how Aurans felt about crying, especially in public. They were not in public now, but he was not Auran, and she was trying to control herself over a pain too great to withstand. "So ashamed I am. So ashamed! And know I not who knows – can face no one! Thought Shar-les private would keep it, only tell you said he. But know Liz and Hoshi do."
"They don't." He said firmly, startling her into turning around. "I don't." He watched surprise quickly mutate into astonishment. "Whatever was going on between you out there they tell me they don't have a clue as to why you are bothered, and Trip has told me nothing."
"But…"
"Whatever it is; is this something that came up on Caldis 3, while you two were alone?"
"Daai."
"I know nothing about it. The Bravina have taken up all my attention." He didn't think he'd ever seen anyone so monumentally relieved as Tia was at that moment. He didn't want to deflate that.
"But Trip and I are going to talk soon, and you say he said I was going to be the only one he would tell?"
"Said he did that as Captain you needed to know, but shamed I am by it."
"Then would you like to tell me first, in your own way, so that I get it the 'right' way?"
She gulped, looking at him with renewed fear. "When know you do, trust me … no, like me you will not."
"Well, why not let me be the judge of that?" She turned to face him directly, clasping her hands together so tightly they trembled.
"What did I, wanted to not. I had choice no. But when came here I did, put it behind me I wanted to. Wanted to be innocent! Just a simple girl I was. They to do it made me! When escaped I did, innocent wanted I again to be. Did want to do it not. Wanted I only to be free did. Did want to lie not!" She lapsed into a humiliated silence, and Archer regarded her thoughtfully.
"You did something on Aura, and you didn't want us to find out. You wanted to put it behind you, so we would regard you as innocent." She nodded miserably. "What did you do?"
"Could stand the torture, the beatings, longer not. Escaped."
"And that was your crime?"
"Nyas." She whispered in a tiny voice. Hands clasped tightly on the table, her eyes never leaving them, she told him the whole story.