By pretending to get lost several times upon her return to the castle Cass had managed to avoid dance class. The girls and Bernard had disappeared. She was told by a maid that she could return to her room for the time being. Throwing herself onto the rich comforter of her new bed, Cass grabbed a silk pillow and screamed into it. There was a knock on the door. She tossed the pillow bitterly aside and sat up.

"What?" she called rudely.

The door opened slowly. In walked one of the princesses Cass had been introduced to earlier. Elaine Somebody from the Kingdom Whatever.

"May I come in?" She asked, poking her head in.

Cass eyed the girl warily. On the one hand, most princesses she had made acquaintance with had less sense than ladies in waiting. On the other hand, making automatic enemies with the girls she would be spending all her time with didn't sound exactly appealing. Cass shrugged. "Why not. Just promise you won't start telling me how great this place is. I'm in the middle of being tragic and school spirit will get nothing but bitter sarcasm from me right now."

Elaine smiled ironically. "Trust me, bitter sarcasm is something that is never lacking at this school. Its Cassandra, right?" she asked as she moved to the chaise and sat down.

"Only when forced, call me Cass." Said Cass, returning the smile.

"I'm Elaine, I've only been here a few weeks so I'm kind of new too."

"Answer me this Elaine, what do you know about those swans?" asked Cass suddenly hopeful. It was very possible her father had just been trying to scare her into obedience. Maybe she could still get out of here…

"You mean the harpies in disguise?" asked Elaine.

"Its true?" asked Cass disappointed.

"Yup, Cordelia's seen it happen, some love-sick idiot tried to swim the moat to meet her, he only barely got away." Sighed Elaine.

"Well does it work both ways? Do they go demon if people try to leave?" asked Cass.

"I don't know, none of us have been brave enough to try, not even Bianca." Sighed Elaine.

"Who's Bia…" began Cass but was interrupted by the door opening.

Another girl stuck her head in. "What's the verdict Elaine? Cursed, crabby, crazy?" She asked with her glossy dark head tilted to one side.

"None of the above Miss Tact," she answered. "She's nice, and we're talking, and you were supposed to let me see if she minded before you came barging in." Elaine said in an exasperated tone.

"You were taking too long." Answered the girl unconcerned. She walked the rest of the way in and addressed Cass. "You don't mind do you?" She didn't wait for Cass to answer, just took a sweeping bow. "Welcome to Madame Beatrice's House of Torture for those best left unseen and unheard, I'm Bianca, I'll be your guide for this evening. Elaine was voted to be your welcome woman but she's all nice and sweet and it'll take forever to figure out anything about you so just answer me these questions, how do you feel about the color pink, how often would you say you swoon in a week, and if you could be an animal what would it be?" Bianca asked all this in one fluid breath without a single pause.

"Pink has its place, as far from me as possible, never in my life and before today I would have said a dragon but now I'm thinking killer swan." Responded Cass without missing a beat.

"Good enough for me…she's in." said Bianca as she jumped onto Cass' bed.

"In what?" asked Cass, moving her feet to avoid Bianca landing on them.

"Trouble if you hang around with rebels like us." Bianca stood on Cass' bed and folded her hands imploringly. "Bianca, if you will not curb your destructive behavior for you own good, think of your poor subjects." She said in a perfect imitation of Madame Beatrice. "As though my subjects cared about my name much less how many petticoats I'm wearing…none by the way."

"Bianca!" gasped Elaine.

"What? It's a full skirt, no one can tell…its very free really…so what are you in for?" asked Bianca.

"Beg pardon?" said Cass.

"What did you do to land yourself in princess prison? I ran away to join a band of gypsies."

"Really? How did they find you?" asked Cass impressed.

"The gypsies took me home and collected the reward." Answered Bianca, she didn't seem at all put out by it. "So what was it? Too many fairy curses? Not enough fairy curses? Did you run away like me? Evil stepmother? Come on, dish, we're all problem princesses here ." She waited expectantly.

"So I was right! This is a punishment! I knew it! My father is such a liar!" exclaimed Cass.

"Doesn't surprise me, that's royalty for you…hey, your mattress is bouncier than mine." Bianca started to jump to prove her point.

Cass laughed…she couldn't help it. "Well geez Bianca, I was perfectly happy hating the world and counting the ways this is cruel and unfair, but if you don't stop it I might look on the bright side."

"Oh no! Quick Elaine, start telling her the truth before she cheers up!"

"Its awful Cass, they wake you up at the crack of dawn, or sometime mid morning actually, but it feels like the crack of dawn!" exclaimed Elaine.

"And then they feed you enormous amounts of food that you have to eat with impossibly small utensils so that by the time you're forced to leave you've only eaten a fourth of what you wanted!" shouted Bianca still jumping.

"And then you spend hours needle pointing the same pattern, painting the same landscape, dancing the same dance as everyone else in the whole castle!" said Elaine in disgust.

"Leave it to the royals to take something as wonderful as dancing and make it boring!" Stormed Bianca jumping higher than ever, bouncing Cass along.

Cass jumped up and jumped along with Bianca. "Let me guess, then you have lunch where you have more vast quantities of food and even smaller utensils to eat it with! Followed by lessons on how to look pretty, how to lie to your council and how to make a seating chart so as not to offend the visiting ambassador!" shouted Cass jumping even higher than Bianca.

"And those are the interesting classes!" shouted Elaine standing up on the chaise and jumping from it to the bed where all three girls jumped higher and higher until it collapsed from under them.

Cass, Bianca and Elaine was lost in the middle of the wreckage that until recently had been a bed. The three of them were lost in giggles when a familiar, smooth voice floated down the hall.

"…what on earth was that noise?" Bernard appeared to be heading down the hallway trying to find from what room the crash had happened in.

Cass and Bianca scrambled up from the bed and quickly righted themselves. Poor Elaine was lying face down laughing so hard she couldn't move. Cass and Bianca tried to help her but her whole body was shaking from silent laughter.

"What is going on in here?" asked Bernard stonily.

Cass and Bianca were frozen by the voice. For about three seconds.

"That is what I would like to know." Said Cass in a shocked voice. "Poor Elaine hardly even sits on my bed and the whole thing crashes down around her. I am just appalled."

"Look at her!" Bianca chimed in. "We've been trying to comfort her but she can't stop shaking."

"I just hope she isn't too severely injured." Said Cass solemnly.

"And poor Cass…andra!" at the last minute Bianca remembered to say her full name. "That could have been her!" she turned to Cass. "If I were you I would suspect sabotage." Said Bianca equally solemnly.

"I care not that it could have been I," said Cass dramatically. "I only worry for Elaine's sake."

Bernard's countenance changed dramatically. He instantly became imploringly apologetic. "I too am shocked…I never would have thought…these beds are of the highest workmanship…Ultomian you know…I'll send someone right away to attend Elaine…so very sorry." After spouting flowery apologies for a few minutes Bernard made a quick retreat.

By then Elaine had managed to calm herself sufficiently to look up weakly and say, "Ultomian beds are supposed to be the best you can get. Their supposed to last forever, even elves buy them." She told Cass and Bianca.

Cass and Bianca looked impressed. "Wow," said Cass. "Good for us."