DISCLAIMER: Don't own Lupin III, or those expensive TV series DVDs (sighs sadly).
Hi, there!
Toshiro, a bastard? (uncomfortable laugh) Well, yeah, I guess it was sort of wrong, hiding those things from the group. Don't worry—In good time, everyone'll get to see how the Lupin group is doing. Jigen ought to be highly amusing to write about. Glad everyone likes Leo, and everyone was pretty surprised about the Lupin/Zenigata pairing, eh? Told ya there would be surprises here. Well, they aren't about to end! Hope you all enjoy the following chapter! Bye for now!
Oh, BTW—Anyone get the Broadway joke, Leo & Max. There's a play where the two main characters share the same name as the trusty inspectors, anyone know? Tell ya next chapter, see ya around!
Chapter Three
A Few Days Later: Purple Haze
'Two of us riding nowhere,
Spending someone's hard earned pay,
You and me getting nowhere,
Driving solo,
On our way back home,
We're on our way home'
--The Beatles, 'Two of Us'
Max sat uncomfortably in his airline seat, looking straight ahead. He and Leo had been doing nothing except sitting in the airplane for hours. He glanced forward at the in-flight movie, which he quickly deemed a piece of Hollywood crap, and then looked back at Leo. He looked downward at LeBlanc's hands as he realized Leo was knitting—And well, at that. It seemed as though Leo had had a good deal of practice with the crochet needles over the years.
"What are you doing, Leo?" Max finally ventured to ask after a few deathly silently moments between he and his new partner.
"I'm knitting. When I get nervous, I do this," Leo replied, "I'm making you a sweater right now…"
"How… Special…" Max answered hesitantly as he looked downward at the beginnings of a green turtleneck sweater, "What do you do with the other stuff?"
"Oh, send it to my folks back home…" Leo answered dully, "Hey, would you hold my yarn for a sec while I try to finish the sleeve?"
A Rural Home in Paris, France:
"Oh, look what Ari sent us… A throw pillow… To match the thirty others he's sent already…" an aged Fujiko Lupin sighed blandly as she removed the white and green pillow from a cardboard box that had been sent to the household. Fujiko had aged with grace, and now, although her clothing was not nearly as revealing, she still bore a certain charm. Her hair had a few gray spots in it at this point, but hardly enough to notice.
"I swear, if I see one more item that looks remotely knit, I'm gonna throw gasoline on it and get a match!" an equally old Lupin III proclaimed as he exited the kitchen, "I swear to God…. We have more damn curtains than we do windows, and that's hard in a place with over thirty rooms, all with windows!" The gentleman thief had to begun to show his years, as well. A slightly receding hairline which belonged to obviously dyed black hair was one of the most prominent signs of age in the thief.
"Lupin, he makes these because he loves doing it, and he loves us… Even if he is working for the enemy…" Fujiko sighed, "Hopefully, he'll come around…"
"Oh, he will," Lupin replied as he took a sip of the Burbon he had retrieved from the wine cellar, "He's a Lupin. It's his fate to be a thief."
"He wrote a letter!" Fujiko added happily as she reached for a slip of paper in the bottom of the box.
"Read it to me, will ya? I forgot my glasses downstairs," Lupin sighed.
"Dear Mom and Dad. You'll be pleased to know I've been promoted to work a job. You won't be as pleased to know that it's the Lupin IV case--" Fujiko paused as Lupin choked on his drink, and then continued as he regained the ability to breathe, "—I hope now maybe I can get through to Fuji and the others, and show them that what they're doing is wrong…"
"But it's not wrong!" Lupin snapped in response, "Fujicakes, I love him to death, but sometimes I wonder how it is he turned out to be such a tree-hugger!"
Fujiko looked at her husband solemnly, "He tried hard to be like us… But, you know what happened in the end… Everyone knows what happened in the end…"
"It happens to everyone! To me, to Jigen, to Goemon! To you! Accidents happen!" Lupin snapped.
"He couldn't take the guilt of it," Fujiko replied calmly, "He just couldn't handle the stress there was in being a thief! And with a reputation to follow like your family's! I'm not surprised at all that that happened…"
"Well, hopefully he'll come around soon," Lupin sighed, "and take up a new craft in the meantime, not just knitting! We need to send him a potter's wheel for his birthday!"
New York, New York:
"Hello, Mister Squirrel…. Would you like to join your family up in the great beyond?" Ally whispered as he locked onto a squirrel merrily chirping around the park across from his hotel room, "You would!? Wonderful! Here, let me give you your ticket…."
"There's something about your brother that I find very disturbing," Heiji mumbled to Ryo as both entered the hotel room and saw Ally with his sniper rifle pointed at the squirrel. Ally quickly hid the weapon as he realized he was no longer alone, and smiled innocently at his big sister and friend.
"No more rodent killing," Ryo demanded sternly, "And that includes pigeons! Central Park now looks like the wildlife version of the beaches of Normandy!"
"That dancin' monkey had it comin'!" Ally snapped in defense, "Little S.O.B. tried to steal my wallet, I swear it on my grave!"
"You ever think about sending him on a vacation… To a padded cell?" inquired Heiji confidentially to Ryo.
"He's not as crazy as he lets on."
"He…"
"Ally's a nice kid. Just likes his guns a little too much," Ryo sighed in response as she watched Ally polish and then put his sniper rifle away in its case with the same ease of putting a child to bed, "I understand you're just as crazy about video games…"
"Yeah, but I pretend to shoot crap! Rodents probably see Ally as the Cold Hand of Death when he passes by them," Heiji replied.
"Hey! Take a look at this!" Yukiko called from the living room. All three rose, and walked over to the television, and were stunned by what they saw. Max Zenigata and Leo LeBlanc to head up Lupin IV investigation.
"Ari…" Ryo whispered in shock, "You mean he's…."
Fuji, who had been the first to see the newscast, nodded, "Well, I guess this adds to our fun, huh, guys!?" she laughed.
"Well, we're screwed," Heiji sighed, "I'm going to go work on that camera…"
"Glad to see I work with so many optimists…" mumbled Fuji.
Meanwhile, outside, in a different hotel room, the furniture had been set to one side of the room, and Toshiro and Odori both stood opposite of one another, waiting for the other to strike. Odori was the first, and jumped at Toshiro with her bokken (wooden) sword. Toshiro quickly blocked this attack, and both went to fighting one another; jumping about the room, as if their lives depended on it.
"If I had Zantetsu on me, you'd be dead!" Odori hissed.
"Perhaps. But you won't always have your sword around," Toshiro replied, "What do you say we take a quick break?"
"Sounds good," Odori admitted, and stretched after they had called it an even match. Odori exited the hotel room, headed towards the bar, while Toshiro stayed in and fixed the room.
"You've gotten good," Toshiro jumped at the sound of the familiar voice. He spun his head towards the door, where there stood a middle-aged Japanese woman in a black kimono, "You should attack more precisely, though. You and I both know you could have her gone in three moves, Goemon."
"I go by Toshiro," Toshiro sighed in response.
"Why you don't use such a prominent name is beyond me. It's almost as if you're too good to use it," she snapped.
"I'd ask you if you'd rather use it, but you're content to use me instead," Toshiro replied.
She ground her teeth together a little, and commenced to speak with Toshiro, "It's going to be down to the wire, soon. You can feel it, as can I. You couldn't hide your other little secret from them, so how do you expect to hide this one?"
"I'm not sure, but I'll think of something," Toshiro replied.
"Your lineage… With an American… You can see why that couldn't happen, Goemon-chan. Your clan's much too good for that."
"Stop with this talk of clans, woman. You're beginning to sound like something out of a Shakespeare play."
"Hn… What was that one quote of his, about the world being a play?"
"All the world's a stage, and the people its players."
"Yes," she nodded, "You're a wonderful actor, Goemon. And I mean that in every sense." Toshiro could feel her approach him from behind as he turned away from her out of disgust, and he quickly turned back, just in time to stop her sword from cutting into him. Toshiro managed to stop the blade by clapping his hands together around the sides of it. This caused little injury to him.
Both shared a similar eerie smile as she laid her blade down, and then sheathed it once more, "You really are an Ishikawa, you know… You're too good to work with them; your father was too good for the Lupin gang, as well. But he was also too much of an idealist."
"Leave," Toshiro ordered in a snap. She smiled, shrugged, and exited from the same window she had appeared in. "I can't keep this up… She can take my lineage and shove it…." He muttered bitterly to himself as he exited the hotel room, and walked into the other. Everyone was in the women's room, crowded around the television, when he entered.
"What's going on?" he inquired as he looked down at the television.
"Ari's joining," Ryo replied.
"Our team? Great!"
"The Lupin IV investigation," Heiji answered.
"This is great! We'll get to see one another all of the time, now!" Fuji said cheerily. She was the only cheery face out of the sullen group. "What?" she inquired as she looked around, "You guys will get to see him, too! It'll be great!"
"Is she dumb, or just optimistic?" Ryo inquired.
"Considering her bloodline, I'd say both," Odori answered.
"Are you sure you're adopted, because you always sound a heck of a lot like Dad…" Heiji muttered.
"I guess I train with Father a little too much," Odori admitted.
"He calls himself Leo LeBlanc, now," Yukiko added.
"Jeeze," Fuji stretched back on the couch, "The guy screws up once, goes a little kooky, and joins the dark side…. Well, hopefully he'll get over all of this. I'm just gonna be happy seeing my neurotic big brother around all of the time!"
"And I'll get to see my pushy big uncle all of the time. Oh, joy…" Heiji muttered blandly.
An Airport in New York, New York:
"What the hell do you mean 'You're keeping us on this plane'!?" Max shouted to the attendant, "We've got a hotel to get to, Lady! You tell her, Leo!" Max looked downward at Leo, who had his eyes averted to the ground, away from the attractive female attendant.
"Uh… Yeah… I guess…" Leo mumbled, his face a light shade of red as he spoke.
"C'mon," Max picked up their carryon bags, grabbed Leo by the hand, and pushed his way past the attendants, "I am so over people today! They have me fly from California to Paris, just so I can find out that I have to go back to New York City to work on the last case I actually want to be on!"
"Sorry! He—He's not usually like this, I swear!" Leo called out to the passengers as he followed Max out of the airplane. "Do you always have to be so embarrassing!?"
"Do you always have to be so femmaphobic!?" countered Max as they worded their way up to baggage claim.
"Gynophobic. That's the proper word. I'm a college major in languages, you know! They gave me a plaque that says so!" Leo snapped in irritation.
"Great! Then tell him we need our luggage, now!" Max snapped, pushing Leo towards the luggage attendant.
"In what language?"
"Well, considering it's the U.S., I would hope English!" snapped Max.
"Oh, right…"
"I swear, if you weren't Asian, you'd be a blonde!"
"That's rich, coming from a blonde Asian!"
"I'm half Hebrew!"
"And I'm a quarter French! Why do you think I have the name 'LeBlanc', because I come from Kyoto!?" Leo snapped, and turned to the luggage attendant. But now, instead of the luggage attendant, there were several armed police officers.
"Hands up!" one shouted to the duo.
"Great," Max mumbled, "This is your fault, you know…"
"My fault! How is it my fault!? You're the one who started with 'Let's get off of this plane'!" Leo snapped, "And now, thanks to you, I'm going to become a prisoner's boyfriend!"
"You're effeminent enough…" Max mumbled.
"What?" Leo turned to him.
"Nothing," Max sighed heavily.
"Down on the ground!" shouted one of the officers.
Later, a New York City INTERPOL Department:
"Gentlemen, I am so sorry to cause you so much trouble! I hope you weren't too uncomfortable during your stay in one of our facilities!" said the INTERPOL New York City branch Commissioner.
"Oh, no, I love jail," Max said under his breath.
"What was that?" asked the Commissioner.
"Glad to be here, Sir!" Leo said cheerily, "The people in jail were a lot nicer than I thought!"
"Because they thought you were cute," Max mumbled.
"So, shall I give you boys the information?" inquired the Commissioner as he entered his office with the two Inspectors.
"Certainly," nodded Max as he seated himself next to Leo and across from the Commissioner.
"Here," he tossed the duo the files, and both glanced over the thick envelope. It listed the group, as well as the last place each had been seen.
FUJIKO, LUPIN II—MONACO, FRANCE
ARSENE, LUPIN IV—MISSING IN ACTION
ISHIKAWA, GOEMON TOSHIRO IVX—NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK, USA
ISHIKAWA, HEIJI—BERLIN, GERMANY
ISHIKAWA, ODORI—TOKYO, JAPAN
JIGEN, YUKIKO—BARCELONA, SPAIN
JIGEN, RYOKO—SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA
JIGEN, DAISUKE ALLEN II—CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, USA
The Commissioner sat back in his chair, and glanced at the two, "The most interesting, by far, is Lupin the Fourth. He vanished a few years ago, after--"
"Killing someone," Leo finished quietly, "a police officer… It was all over the news when it happened…"
"Yes," the Commissioner replied, "You're familiar with it, I take it. We have the footage here… It's not a good image of Lupin, but you can see the part where the murder takes palce…"
"That'd be quite all right, Sir. Mr. LeBlanc and I have had a rough day. The last thing we want to see right now is a petty thief kill an innocent man…."
"Yeah," Leo nodded numbly.
"Well, you gentlemen may keep the file, and I shall see you both around! Good luck to the two of you!" said the Commissioner, rising and shaking the hand of each man.
"Thank you, Sir! Rest assured that we will not fail you!" said Max confidently.
"You know, someone else told me that, once. Inspector Koichi Zenigata, your father," said the Commissioner blandly.
"I'm not my father, Sir," Max answered in response.
"Oh, history repeats itself," the Commissioner said bitingly to Max, "Good day, you two."
"Good day, Sir," Max grumbled, and exited with Leo. Once Leo had closed the door, Max began to stomp around the outside of the office angrily, while Leo watched nervously. He waited until Max had finished his ranting in Hebrew before he shakily led Zenigata out of the offices, and down the city to their hotel room.
"I don't believe him! Of all of the nerve!" Max grumbled as he threw his suitcase on his bed and began to unpack.
"Don't worry, Max… I know what you're going through…." Leo reassured him.
"No, no you don't. Because you know why—Because my father is probably the most decorated idiot the police force has ever seen!" Max yelled.
"You… Don't have to be so zealous…" Leo gulped as he unzipped his suitcases.
"Where exactly do you buy a purple sport coat?" Max inquired as he looked down at Leo's wardrobe.
"Online," Leo replied, "I like the color…" he shrugged.
"Well, that makes it even more painfully obvious…" mumbled Max to himself as he watched Leo putting away his clothing, "Hey, what do you say we go out tonight? I mean, we don't have to report to work until tomorrow, so we could enjoy the clubs until then! Guys our age like that stuff, right?"
"I'm actually about two years older than you," Leo replied calmly.
"Whatever," Max shrugged, "What do you say, though, Leo? I mean, we hardly know one another! You know all about me—"
"Because you yell everything…"
"And I hardly know anything about you!"
"Not much to know," Leo shrugged, "Why don't we stay in, tonight? I've got a serious case of jet lag catching up on me…"
"Well, okay," Max replied.
"Boy, I'm never going to get the wrinkles out of this shirt! Oh, well…" Leo mumbled, "Guess it's back to the old crochet needles."
Max turned to Leo, and watched as LeBlanc took his knitting needles and began to knit. "Um, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure, what?"
"Are you gay?"
"WHAT!?" Leo yelped.
"I mean, it's no problem, I just… It's been bugging me for a while, and—"
"I like girls, okay? I just, I just don't like talking to them… I just get nervous, okay? There're only a few girls I can talk to without feeling like I usually do! What, are you gay?"
"What!? No! Why do you think that!?"
"Because, well… You're a little, I dunno…"
"I don't, either!" snapped Max, "I'm perfectly straight, I just work too damn much to have a girlfriend!"
"Oh, that's a shame…. Well, now that that's out of the way…"
"I'm feeling pretty awkward now."
"Uh, yeah… I'm going to get ice…"
"You do that, Leo," Max nodded and watched as Leo exited the hotel room, "What is it about that guy that's so familiar to me!? I can't put my finger on it!"