Disclaimer: I do not own Lupin III…. Lord, they know this… Yeesh…
Konnichiwa!
Read an article in a dentist's office, recently. Sounds otherwise uninteresting, but the fact that it was about squirrel hunting was what made it amusing to me. I immediately thought of Ally, and began to laugh softly in the middle of the office. Made the pain of knowing I'm going to have four wisdom teeth removed at once a little less frightening. Don't worry; in good time, we shall see Jigen, as well. Promise. Well, enjoy the chapter, fellas! See ya'll around!
Chapter Six
A Few Tense Days Later: Bless the Beasts and Children
'Born a poor young country boy—
Mother nature's son,
All day long I'm sitting singing songs
For everyone'
--The Beatles, 'Mother Nature's Son'
A samurai gi lay folded carefully on an ancient wooden chair, and a pair of wooden sandals lay next to them solemnly. Toshiro had finally completed putting on the black and purple ninja outfit when the black-kimono woman entered, carrying with her a small tray. Toshiro turned, and glared at her coldly.
"There he is, the future leader of the Rat Clan," she said with a calm smile as she pulled a small stool over and stood atop it. She picked up a few articles from the silver tray, and proceeded to tie Toshiro's hair back into a bun, "Come now, face me, Goemon-chan."
Toshiro obediently and silently turned to face her, and she picked up a small jar as well as a brush. She gently brushed on the red makeup on the edges of Toshiro's eyes as well as either end of his mouth, and she smiled as she set it down, "There, now we are complete… Oh, except for your swords, of course…" She hopped off of the stool, and walked over to the bed, where Izanami and Izanagi lay, "I understand your Uncle Heiji sent these to you before he died… He stole them from the Rat Clan the same night he stole you… The only swords in the world able to face off against Zantetsu… What an honor it must be for you to wield them."
"I don't think about who they came from, just what they do. If I remembered that they came from the Rat Clan, I do not think I'd be able to handle them without becoming ill," Toshiro snapped bitterly in response.
She grew stormy, and slapped Toshiro across the face once, "Get those thoughts out of your head and that awful accent out of your mouth!" she hissed, "You are one of ours, now! You are where you belong, a million miles away from any of those immoral twits you call friends! Especially that cross-dresser, the one you seem to like especially!"
"Her name is Yukiko," Toshiro answered defensively, "She's my friend!"
"Your friend will be sent to you in small separate boxes if you don't start shaping up!" she snapped, "Now let's get to work! We have much to prepare for, and little time to accomplish all of it!"
"Yes…" Toshiro nodded.
"Yes, what?" she implored.
"I won't call you by that term. You do not deserve it," Toshiro replied.
"You and your liberal upbringing… You're a spoiled brat, and all Goemon did was let you get away with whatever you wanted…" she mumbled under gritted teeth. "If I had the strength, I'd have killed the man years ago…"
"You still love him, don't you?" Toshiro smirked.
"Come," she led Toshiro out of the room, and slammed the door behind them.
A New York City Hotel Room:
Puh plunk, cling! Puh plunk, cling! Max turned and sat his newspaper down as the strange noise grew closer and closer to his door. He rose, and pulled out his gun, and stood there quietly a few moments. He breathed a sigh of relief and put his gun away as Leo entered the hotel room, haggard looking and attached to a piece of a chair by a set of handcuffs.
"Hey, Leo! Where have you been!?" Max laughed, "I was worried about you! I was just about to—"
"To what? Realize that I've been gone for four days!?" Leo snapped, "I would've been here sooner, but someone stranded me without bothering to tell me his phone number or the address of our hotel! Do you know how many Holiday Inns there are within five blocks alone!? Too many! I swear, it can't be good for the environment!"
"I take it you haven't been having a good day…" Max muttered.
"I would start crocheting, but I'd be too tempted to hurt you with my knitting needles… I'm going to take a shower, because I smell of New York homeless person!" Leo snapped, grabbed a suit from his closet, and trudged into the bathroom.
"Jeeze… It's like he's never been abandoned in a major city before! I swear, he's such a little crybaby…" grumbled Max, not knowing at that same moment that Leo was calling him an egotistical airhead.
The phone rang, and Max was first to pick up, "Zenigata, LeBlanc! We have news that Lupin's going to rob a group of Japanese tourists tonight, at a downtown building! She left a letter and everything! The whole shebang! I want you both down there as soon as possible! We're e-mailing you the address now!" said the Commissioner quickly.
"Great! I'll check it out, right away!" Max slammed the phone down, and ran for his computer.
Another Hotel Room in Another Part of New York:
"Jeeze… Does this guy ever get any e-mail? He doesn't even get Spam!" Heiji grumbled as he sat cross-legged in the center of a bed in front of his laptop. He had broken into Max's computer a few hours ago, and had surfed for any information pertaining to the Rat Clan, with little success, "He's really starting to bore me…"
"If we can't get information on them this way, then what good are you, Heiji-chan!?" Fuji chuckled, but then grew silent as Yukiko grumbled and turned in bed. She had been bedridden for the past few days, hardly able to keep a meal down. The medicine had spared her life, but had not cured her instantly. The road to recovery was a difficult one.
"Well, I can cook pretty well," Heiji muttered, "Oh, here we go! Hallelujah!"
"What is it?" inquired Fuji.
"The directions to the Rat hole…" Heiji replied with a proud smile.
"Heiji-chan, if I weren't so afraid of commitment, I'd say I love you!" Fuji squealed happily.
"No you wouldn't; I'm a geek, remember?" Heiji retorted quickly, pushing up his glasses, which reflected on the computer screen, "Here's the address, Fuji…"
"Terrific! We'll get Toshiro, and we'll get that scroll, too! I'll show them that they can't screw with Lupin!" said Fuji with a wicked smile.
"Speaking of Lupin, you know your brother will be there, right?"
"Yep. It's all going to plan…"
"To plan? What do you mean, to plan?"
"You'll see, Heiji. All in good time…"
"You don't tell me crap around here!"
"No, I tell you too much crap," Fuji countered, "And not enough of the truth. But like I say, why break continuity?"
"Whatever, Fuji," Heiji muttered as he shook his head and went back to work on the computer, "Hey, free downloading!" he perked up at the thought of a new computer program.
Later That Night:
"Ready, fellas?" Fuji inquired as she loaded her pistol for battle. All stood around Fuji, and silently nodded their responses.
"Me, too," they heard weakly, and all turned to see Yukiko leaning in the doorway, fully dressed.
"Yuki! You should be resting!" Ally gasped in horror.
"And do what? Sit down and be useless? Ha! Don't make me laugh, Ally," Yukiko replied, "Toshiro may have been hiding a lot from us, but bottom line is, he sacrificed himself for me, and now the Rat Clan's got him. We have to get him back."
"I agree. But I don't think it is wise that you accompany us, Yukiko," Odori answered.
"Dori, your brother and I are best friends. We haven't let anything come between us yet, why start now?" Yukiko replied in a tone with hints of pleading in it. "I've got to come…"
There was a long pause, but finally Heiji stepped forward, and soon after Ryo, and both helped Yukiko out to the car. The group, with Ryo as the getaway driver, headed down to the said hotel, where a police cruiser was already parked out front.
"Yep, this is it. Fellas, you know the drill," Fuji said with strong determination as Ryo parked the car and all exited.
Inside the Hotel:
"You're sure this letter is Lupin's, Ma'am?" Max inquired as he looked over the French-scribed letter signed Lupin IV. The Japanese woman in the black kimono nodded, and looked upward at Max.
"Yes! Please, we cannot allow her to steal those scrolls! They are sacred in my clan! If anything happens to them, I, I— I don't know what I'd do!"
"Don't worry, Ma'am. We'll make sure Lupin doesn't get her hands on those scrolls," Leo reassured her compassionately, "You have my word as an officer of the law that she will not even breath in the same room as those scrolls!"
"Thank you, Inspector LeBlanc," she said, wiping her tears away, "You may stay here, or look around if you wish. I hope you do not mind another one of our clan members being here, as extra protection."
"No problem, Ma'am!" replied Max with a smile.
"Now, if you'll both excuse me, I have to go speak with some of the other members of my clan… They will be so relieved to know that you two brave men are on the case!" she said, and then turned to exit, "Idiots…" she muttered under her breath as she exited the room. "No matter—All of his friends shall be dead soon, and he will no longer be a sympathetic sap, like he is now."
"What a sweet lady!" exclaimed Leo, "They're one in a million, nowadays!"
"Now, why would Lupin want these scrolls, in the first place?" mumbled Max as he took a cigarette out of his pocket and looked down at the several scrolls, protected by a glass casing.
"Please don't smoke; I have asthma," explained Leo.
"Crap… I'll go out on the balcony, then!" Max snapped, and opened the glass door of the balcony. He was taken by surprise to find that there was a woman dressed as a samurai already on the balcony, "Odori Ishikawa!" he gasped as he recognized the face. Max fumbled to throw his cigarette away and retrieve his handcuffs, but he was too late. Odori flew past him and ran into the main room, where Leo's eyes dilated as he watched Odori run to him, sword drawn. LeBlanc let out a high-pitched yell, and fell to the ground, missing Odori's low-flying blade by inches.
Leo raised his head as he watched the top portion of the glass case fall to the ground and smash into a million pieces. Odori smiled in satisfaction as she reached out to grab the scroll, but her hand was soon stopped by another blade. She looked upward, and did not immediately recognize the tall Asian looking down at her.
"Toshiro…" she mumbled in numb shock.
"Leave before I have to hurt you, Odori," whispered Toshiro.
"I can't," she drew back, and faced him, "A good samurai never backs down."
"But a smart samurai would realize this is useless!" Toshiro replied, "I'm ordering you as your older brother to leave!"
"HA! You're BOTH under arrest!" Max yelled victoriously as he appeared in the doorway, a pair of handcuffs swinging in his hand. He threw them at the two, only to have them cut into several pieces by Toshiro. Max's smiled faded as he watched the pieces of metal fall to the ground, "Ur, wow… The Commish didn't tell me about that one…"
Several other people fell down from the roof behind Max, all on ropes. Fuji smiled widely as she jumped off of her rope, followed by Heiji, Ryo, Ally, and Yukiko, who was helped by Ryo to get off of her rope.
"Yukiko!" Toshiro yelped in surprise, "You're all right!" he added as an afterthought to his initial shock.
"Toshiro? What the hell's goin' on!?" Yukiko demanded as she looked the samurai up and down, "You look… You look like…"
"A Rat Clan member," all looked to a set of open doors, where the woman in the black kimono stood, "Goemon-chan."
"Goemon? Since when do you go by that?" mumbled Fuji in confusion.
"I knew it…" grumbled Ally, "I friggin' knew it…"
"All of you, please leave!" Toshiro begged, "I'm in their service now, and—"
"He doesn't want what happened to his girlfriend and child to happen to you, Yukiko… That's your name, isn't it? That's what he calls you…" she added smoothly.
"Toshiro, is she the one who…" Heiji started.
"Either way, she's going down," snapped Odori, who ran to the woman, her blade drawn. Once again, Toshiro stopped her.
"Dori, don't! She's my mother!" Toshiro yelled.
"What!?" all gasped.
"Yes, that's right…" she nodded, "Goemon may look like his father, but he has his mother's eyes…"
"She's right," Yukiko said to herself, "Hey, you wrinkly old bitch! You leave us alone, you hear!? Or else you'll have me to deal with!" shouted Yukiko.
"Oh, tough little cross-dresser?" she smirked, "Well, Lupin, let's see how your clan does against mine…" Numerous ninjas filtered into the room, leaving the Lupin members stunned.
"Well, this is fun…" Ryo sighed sarcastically as she fixed the trigger of her gun.
"Leo, truce?" Fuji whispered to her brother, "There're too many to take on by ourselves.…"
"Until we're out of here," Leo replied as he drew his gun out of its holster, "Max, truce with them for now, okay?" Leo shouted with his partner.
"What!?" Max yelped.
"They're trying to kill us, too, Max! That lady's tricked us!" snapped Leo.
"Crap, you're right!" Max yelled as one threw a ninja star at him, and nearly hit him. The star actually came close enough to cut several strands of hair from Zenigata's head, "Okay, okay! Truce—For now!"
"Great!" Fuji drew her gun out, and shot at one of the ninjas, who fell off Ally, whom he had tackled, "Get to work!" she ordered the other members of her group. They complied to Fuji's request, and Ally cheerily loaded his gun, and shot at the members. Meanwhile, Odori and Toshiro continued onward with their fight, Toshiro with the upper hand, due to his use of two swords. Toshiro wanted no harm done to his sister; only to convince her to leave with the others, while they still could.
"Listen! I don't want to hurt you!" Toshiro yelled to her, "Just butt out, and they won't bother any of you anymore!"
"Toshiro, get your head out of the clouds! She'll kill us, anyway! Just like she killed Julia and your child, and just like she almost killed Yukiko!" Toshiro discontinued his battle with Odori, and looked downward at the floor in great contemplation.
He looked upward in time to see his mother advancing towards a worn Yukiko, who was kneeling on the floor, holding onto her aching ribs. His eyes widened in horror as he realized his mother was wielding a knife, which she intended to use on Yukiko.
"No!" Toshiro shouted. Everyone in the room stopped their fighting, and looked towards him, in dead silence.
Yukiko rolled out of the way, right before a body fell on her. She looked down at the gasping body of Toshiro's mother in horror, "Holy crap!" she yelped as she looked downward at the blade, which she still grasped, "Jesus…"
"We can save her," Toshiro said, kneeling down and slowly pulling his blade out of her shoulder, where he had hit her without thinking. The woman began to laugh wildly through her pain, which frightened all of the Lupin members and each of the inspectors, "You're delirious… Come on, Mother…"
"You're such a bleeding heart fool… Just like your father… I'll never forgive that man for leaving me…" she mumbled numbly. She looked upward at Toshiro, and smiled, "I'm glad you turned out like him in the end, I really am…"
"We've got to get you out of here," said Toshiro.
"Here," Yukiko removed her jacket, and passed it to Toshiro. He wrapped his mother in the jacket, and lifted her upward.
"There's a bomb…" she mumbled.
"Say what?" Leo yelped.
"I planted a bomb, especially for the Lupin team… So you wouldn't have to worry about them anymore… I just didn't want you to run off with them… I wanted you back so badly, Goemon-chan," she muttered to Toshiro.
"Let's get goin', pronto!" yelled Ally frantically.
"You want me to try to disarm the bomb, Fuji?" asked Heiji.
"No time! Let's just go!" shouted Fuji. All ran out of the room, leaving the slain ninjas in the torn up room.
They quickly made their way to the stairs, and ran down the flights, until they reached the floor. There was a loud explosion as they exited, and all fell to the concrete ground. Leo laid an arm over Fuji as she fell to the ground, and Fuji looked upward at him briefly with great surprise.
"Thank God, it's the top floor!" said Leo as he looked up at the burning hotel.
"We need to get to a hospital, quickly!" said Toshiro as he rose from the ground.
"Wait, you're under arrest!" shouted Max angrily as he jumped from the ground and retrieved another set of handcuffs. Leo wondered how many pairs Zenigata carried on him.
Leo looked over at the Lupin group, and then at Max. That woman would die if he took them in, he realized as he looked at Toshiro's mother. He had a quick decision to make. LeBlanc suddenly began to gasp, and cough. Max looked downward at Leo, and began to pat him on the back fiercely.
"Inhaler! Quick!" Leo gasped. Max nodded, and removed Leo's inhaler from LeBlanc's pocket. Leo watched out of the corner of his eye as he breathed in his inhaler as the Lupin group vanished. That was a freebie, Sis, he thought as he put his inhaler back in his pocket and watched as the Lupin gang vanished into the night.
"Well, I guess some of the old Arsene is still there in him…" Ryo said as they drove along to the hospital, "He faked that asthma attack."
"I know," Fuji nodded, "That was nice, but that doesn't change anything."
"Come on, Mother, it'll be okay," Toshiro said quietly to his mother as he sat in the back seat with her. Ally looked over at him briefly in disgust, and then out at the passing scenery. He watched as Odori flew past them on Toshiro's Vespa, Yukiko holding on to the samurai.
"She's leading us to the hospital!" Fuji realized, "All right, Dori! Just keep swimming, Dori… Just keep swimming…"
Two Days Later, at the Hotel:
"Hey," Toshiro looked up from the old photo on his bed, and saw Yukiko in the doorway, "Odori wanted me to give you these…" she tossed him a bundle of clothes, and Toshiro unfolded them. It was a gi, with navy blue pants, and a navy blue top with a white strip going around the collar, "She picked them out for you, while she was downtown. She says it looks better than the light blue on you. She says she'll go out and buy a few more if you like them."
"Thanks. I do. I'll give her the money later," Toshiro nodded, and then waited silently for her to leave.
"I'll turn around," Yukiko said, sitting down on the bed and facing away from him, "How's your mom?"
"The doctors say she'll be better in no time. I didn't hit anything vital when I stabbed her," replied Toshiro as he began to change into his new outfit. "Thank God… I was so angry when I saw her trying to harm you… My intent, for a split second, was to kill her… I wouldn't have been any better than her in that instance, though, right?"
"However you want to look at it. To me, she's a few noodles short of a full bowl of ramen. So, I guess this means, since you got everything out of the way, that you're going to go home to your pigeons now, huh?"
"Kome's going to look after them…" Toshiro replied.
"You know, it's a good thing she's not my mom. Sakura hated birds," chuckled Yukiko. Toshiro gave a small cringe, and began to change into the gi, "Wait, so you're staying, I take it?"
"I have nothing better to do, really," Toshiro answered with a shrug.
"Thanks," Yukiko turned and smiled.
"Hey! Turn back around!"
"Damn, sorry…" mumbled Yukiko as she tugged her hat down over her eyes, "You're worse than a little girl… So, you do wear the loincloth, just like your dad, huh? I thought so…"
"Done," Toshiro tied his gi together, and placed his swords on his back, "And please don't mention that to anyone. About the loincloth…"
"I won't, don't worry."
"And, while you're at it, could you speak with your brother?"
"Yeah, about what?"
"I found a squirrel head in my bed this morning," Toshiro answered blandly.
"Oh, wow… He doesn't really like you… It takes a while to get Ally to trust you…" Yukiko answered, "Maybe you two could bond a little."
"Only if he goes through several metal detectors, first," Toshiro answered, "I'm not here to win a popularity contest; I just want cooperation from him." He walked over to where Yukiko was seated, and sat next to her, "I'm so sorry I lied so much… I'm not a good liar, I'll admit… I won't do it again, I promise. We've been friends for years, and I put a lot of that on the line by making myself suspicious…"
"You're wrong, Toshiro," Yukiko shook her head, "We both really changed. I mean, you do a lot of good around here—And I'm some punk who part-times as an assassin or body guard."
"You're also a trustworthy friend," Toshiro added, "You came to my rescue, and believed in me when no one else did—Not even Heiji or Odori!"
"We've both really changed, though. No friggin' doubt about that…."
"Well, then a reintroduction is necessary!" Toshiro answered, and stuck his hand out, "I'm the Robbing Hood of New York."
"And, I'm La Diabla Blanca de Barcelona," added Yukiko, taking his hand and shaking it, "Nice to meet you…"
"Same, here," said the Robbing Hood to La Diabla Blanca de Barcelona.
A Country Road in New York:
"So, you didn't get the treasure, no one got the girl or the guy, and the only reason we aren't in jail right now is because your turncoat brother faked an asthma attack out of pity… Jeeze, that's pretty damn pathetic, even for you, Fuji!" said Heiji as he, Ryo and Fuji drove along the road, Fuji at the wheel.
"So, what was Toshiro's mom's thing, anyway?" inquired Ryo, turning to Fuji, "I know you know. You have that 'I know something you don't' smile on."
"She figured that she'd wipe out everything and everyone Toshiro cared for in steps. Ally and Odori went to his apartment to check it out for bombs. Unfortunately, she had already gotten to Julia and his kid before we even knew about it. She figured he'd be so depressed after their death, he'd jump at the chance to work with us. She dropped me a line about the scroll as a ploy to get me to bite. And, being the stupid young fish I am, I bit. She was our mystery buyer all along. It was only coincidence that Ari and Max were there, but she figured it'd work in her favor, since Max is sort of related to Toshiro, and she was planning to hit the relatives next."
"I love how she can put things in perspective," Heiji said in a mumble after a pause of silence.
"Just like Lupin. Always with the answers—But usually a little late with them…" snapped Ryo in annoyance.
"Hey, Heiji-chan, do me a favor, will you?" implored Fuji.
"Yeah, what?" inquired Heiji.
"Could you reach down the front of my dress?" asked Fuji. Heiji fell back in the back seat of the car in surprise, and even the usually composed Ryo wore a look of surprise.
"Go ahead. I trust you," said Fuji.
"I am living every man's dream right now…" Heiji said to himself as he reached downward, and pulled out a scroll. Both Ryo and Heiji looked down at the Rat Clan scroll, stunned in surprise.
"How in the hell did you fit that in there? Isn't your bra full enough?" wondered Ryo out loud.
"Specially built to hide certain necessities, whether it be a pistol, a large sum of bills, or a scroll," answered Fuji, "Not exactly Victoria's Secret catalogue type stuff."
"That's amazing," mumbled Heiji as he opened the scroll, and began to laugh and shake his head, "I am now officially the happiest man in New York right now…"
"Send it to your dad, and tell him I said happy birthday."
"His birthday isn't until January."
"Aquarius. That figures," mumbled Fuji as she turned a corner, "Well, let's head back. We've got to pick up the guys."
"I want to pay a visit to Daddy, if that's all right, Fuji," said Ryo, "I want to see if he has a certain gun model I'm looking for."
"Boys, guns, guns, boys… Your thoughts only travel in two directions, Ryo!" laughed Fuji as she stepped on the gas and turned another corner.
"Damn, watch it!" snapped Ryo, "I'm going to lose my lunch in a second."
"Nag, nag, nag…" mumbled Fuji.
INTERPOL Headquarters, New York:
"I have never been yelled at for that long a period of time…"said Max aloud as he and Leo exited the commissioner's office. Max stopped for a moment, removed a bottle from his pocket, and popped two Tylenol in his mouth. He went to put the Tylenol away, but Leo grabbed it, swallowed five Tylenol, and tossed it back to Max.
"I have. I've worked here. You have no people how touchy people can get when you start speaking to them in the wrong language," Leo sighed, "You want to get lunch?"
"Sure. We can split the bill," Max added quickly, "I'm going to get a cup of water from the cooler. I'll be back…" Max walked down the hall of the offices, and retrieved a cup of water from the cooler, "Dad, I can't take a long yelling, once—You probably got them weekly. I never knew that," Max admitted to himself as he crumpled the paper cup and threw it in a trash can, "Don't worry—I'm going to catch Lupin. I'll set the family right again."
"You're talking to yourself… Are you stressed?" asked Leo suspiciously.
"I was just verbally beaten for a half an hour, Leo, and I'm great! I've never felt better about being called a failure in my LIFE! Right now, I'm hoping the Commissioner'll come back, just so he can call me a drama queen and you and pedantic bookworm AGAIN! I'm loving every second of life, LeBlanc!"
Leo blinked a few times, "Ur, good to know… You up for Thai?"
"Sounds great," Max said, and with that, both exited the INTERPOL station.