DISCLAIMER: I am not responsible for any squirrel massacres due to some of the content in this fanfic. Love your squirrels like you love all creatures, everyone. Personally, I love all of my creatures with gravy…. And, by the way, I don't own Lupin III.

Hello? This thing on?

Hee hee… Hope you didn't think I was dead. Sorry it's been so long since my last update, but I went on this week-long thing out of town, nowhere remotely near a computer. That's summer for you, I guess. Well, I hope you all enjoy the chapter, and please take the time to review.

Chapter Eleven

Three Days Later: Stairway to Heaven

'I'm filling the cracks that ran through the door,

and kept my mind from wandering,

where it will go,'

--The Beatles, 'Fixing a Hole'

Osaka, Japan:

"I give up!" Odori growled, throwing her sword aside, "It's official—You're an idiot! Congratulations!"

"What?" Musashi frowned.

"Four days, and you're still as bumbling as ever, if not more!" Odori replied angrily, "You have no sense of balance, no sense of coordination—You're about as good at swordfighting as a badger!"

"Please—Give me one more chance," asked Musashi.

"You said that yesterday, when you nearly beheaded me! That would've been an improvement, if it hadn't been for the fact that I was nearly beheaded with a TEAPOT!" Odori screamed, and stormed out of the dojo, nearly running over her father in the process. Goemon had come when some of the windows from a different room began to rattle, due to Odori's shouting.

"Odori!" Goemon called to her. Odori stopped, and turned, and watched as her father approached her, "What's the matter?"

"Papa, he's… I've never met anyone as clumsy as him in my life! And that's saying a lot, considering I was friends with Ari for so long…" replied Odori, "I'm sorry I cannot have your great patience, Papa. I suppose I have a lot to learn, still."

"Give him two swords," said Goemon after a pause of thought.

"What?" Odori tilted her head to a side, "Why?"

"Trust me," Goemon responded, "Give him two swords to work with, and he will improve."

"Are you certain?"

"Very," Goemon nodded, "I might not like the two sword technique very much, I think it will help Musashi a great deal."

"Yes, Father," nodded Odori, "I'll grab an old set of Toshiro's."

"Good," Goemon smirked, and continued to walk down the hall, "Good things come with patience. Remember that, Odori."

"Yes," Odori replied, and waited until her father had left to fetch a set of Toshiro's old swords, "Musashi!" she called as she walked back into the dojo. The crestfallen samurai looked upward at her, and she smiled warmly, for a change, "Here, use these." She said, handing him the two swords.

Musashi took the swords, and rose, "Ready?" Odori smiled wickedly, and Musashi nodded.

There was immediate improvement in his sword technique, Odori noticed. By the end of the day, he had pinned her to the ground twice with his blades. His sudden improvement was a shock to Odori, as well as Fuji, whom had decided to drop in the evening, as she had for the past few evenings.

Odori approached her father in the evening, when she and Musashi had finished their training for the day. Goemon was in the living room of the house, reading an ancient scroll that had belonged to the Ishikawas for centuries, "Father, I have a question…"

"How did I know about the two swords?" asked Goemon.

"Yes!" Odori replied eagerly, seating herself across from him, "How did you know!?"

"The original Musashi used the same technique. He mastered it, as a matter of fact," replied Goemon, closing his eyes in thought, "Always know where your pupil comes from, Odori. You must learn to cultivate the gifts that they have, and play upon them. Only then shall they improve the quickest."

"Yes," Odori nodded, "Thank you, again. Hopefully I can be more patient with my next student—If I ever get one."

"I think you will," replied Goemon with a smirk.

Odori rose from the floor, and walked back out to the dojo, where Musashi sat drinking tea with Fuji. Odori stopped, and looked at the two in dismay. Fuji was laughing at one of his jokes, as was Musashi. She seated herself at the head of the small table, and silently poured herself a cup of tea.

"So, how many do you go up against, anyway, Musashi?" inquired Fuji.

"One thousand warriors," replied Musashi calmly. Both Odori and Fuji spat out their drinks, and looked up at one another tiredly.

"I think we'll need reinforcements…" said Fuji, looking down into her teacup.

Back at the Hotel:

"Okay… So, we hear nothing from you two in half a week, and all of a sudden, you need our help?" Ryo inquired suspiciously.

"Come on, Ryo-san! I was just a little upset with you all, but I eventually cut you in on the deal!" said Fuji with a wide smile.

"I don't know… Sounds fishy…." said Heiji with thought.

"Heiji-chan, would I ever do anything to get you hurt? Get any of you hurt?" asked Fuji hopefully.

"YES!!" all shouted in return, causing Fuji to shrink back a little.

"But, that's what we're about, right?" Ryo added after a pause, "I'll go, Fuji."

"A thousand warriors… Sounds like fun," Yukiko said, raising her fedora over her eyes with her magnum, "Where are they, anyway?"

"On top of Osaka's tallest mountain," replied Musashi, who had tagged along with Fuji and Odori.

"Hiking?" yelped Heiji, "My delicate nerd body wasn't built for hiking!"

"I'll get my boots…" Ally sighed, "Oh, and my deer hunting rifle! Because, you never know…"

"Ally, even after knowing you since before you were born, I am still scared as hell of you," replied Fuji with a confident nod.

"Good to know I'm consistent," replied Ally with a wide Cheshire grin. He turned, and began to whistle quietly to himself as he searched through his suitcase, finally deciding on his long-range hunting rifle.

"I know it's a lot, but, I'm sure that we can defeat them, and recover my treasure," said Musashi confidently. "I will give you all a cut, I promise."

"I would certainly hope so. I've been eyeing spending some time in Texas. There's a long range shooting competition there," replied Ryo, "Five-hundred-thousand big ones."

"I'll be your sponsor if you want!" added Fuji quickly.

"Sorry—Lone wolf mission," replied Ryo, "Besides, I don't want to be responsible for a child while I'm there. I want fun, for a change. Not getting my ass shot at, or almost getting married off to some Arabian oil tycoon!"

"Hey, I came in time!" replied Fuji with a smile.

"I had long hair before that incident," Ryo reminded Fuji, "Somewhere just happened to accidentally get it caught in a gate because they pushed me a little too quickly…"

"You look good with short hair!" replied Fuji.

"Ladies, ladies, can we settle this later?" asked Ally.

"No!" both answered.

"Cat fight—Meow!" Heiji muttered to himself.

"Let's go, guys. You two can duke it out in the car. I'm going with Toshiro in the Vespa. Won't be enough room with Miyamoto riding along," said Yukiko.

"I thought you'd rather ride the New York transit system than ride my Vespa," said Toshiro with a smirk.

"Yeah, well at least I won't be riding it in a dress, this time," replied Yukiko with a roll of the eyes.

"Let's go, guys!" said Fuji, standing and snapping her fingers. The others followed her out, and they went into the parking garage, where they retrieved their vehicles, and then headed out for the said mountain.

About halfway along the journey, they came across a bit of an inconvenience—About half of Tokyo's police force, and a great deal of barricades, thanks to Max and Leo, who stood amongst the officers.

"See, there she is!" said Max, pointing towards the Alfa Romeo.

"We'll try to stun them, first," said the sniper on top of a police control car as he peered into his seeker.

"And what if that doesn't work?" inquired Leo.

"Then we go for real bullets," he replied calmly.

"WHAT!?" both yelped in unison.

"Hey, they're creeps. I usually try not to feel anything towards the people I try to take in, but, I tell you now…" he leaned inward, and whispered to both, "If I could put real bullets in this thing now, and get away with it, I would…" He said to a horrified duo of officers.

"Very well, then," Max nodded to the sniper, "Do what you need to."

"What? Max, come over here," Leo led Max to a secluded area, and began to speak to him there, "You can't just let them kill them! They're people, too!"

"I know, I know. But what has to be done, must be done," Max said as he eyed an officer walking past them. He immediately bent down and whispered to Leo after the officer had passed, "I don't want them dead, either. How am I supposed to have a corpse seek trail, eh?"

"Well then what are we going to do!?" inquired Leo frantically as he stared at the ever-approaching vehicles.

"I don't know, Leo…" Max admitted. He knew if he said anything, everyone would realize that he was actually related to members of the Lupin clan. And Leo knew that he too would have suspicion fall under him if he were to order a still-fire.

Asked Max suddenly, "Leo, can you do me a favor? Can you do impersonations?"

"Sure, who would you like?" asked Leo.

"The Commissioner," Max replied, "I've got a plan, LeBlanc."

"Great," Leo nodded.

After explaining his plan, Leo leapt into a tree, and there was a call on Max's cellphone. The screen was cracked on the phone, making it impossible to see where the call came from, "Uh, Lieutenant, there's a call for you…" said Max, passing the lieutenant of the policemen his cell.

"Hello?" inquired the lieutenant.

"Hello!" replied the commissioner, "I want Lupin taken alive! New orders just came!"

"But, Sir, I—"

"Just do it, dammit!" replied the commissioner.

"Yes, Sir!" replied the Lieutenant, who soon after hung up and handed Max his cell back, "All right, men, we're taking them alive!"

"What!?" all groaned.

"Just do it!" the lieutenant growled in response.

Meanwhile, Fuji and co. were still breezing down the winding roads, not even having a clue as to what had just happened.

"Ah, the policy-men…" said Ally with a smile as he caught sight of the policemen, "Want me to shoot?"

"Nah, that's okay," replied Fuji, "Just keep driving, Ryo."

"What!?" Ryo yelped.

"Do it! You, too, Toshiro!" ordered Fuji.

"You got it!" Toshiro replied, speeding up the bike and swerving in front of Ryo, "Yuki, hold on!"

"Why? Hold on? Why do I need to hold on, Toshiro!?" asked Yukiko.

"Because you aren't going to like this very much!" he answered as he sped up, causing several officers to jump out of the way. The next thing Yukiko knew, they were driving over one of the police cruisers, all while she screamed. They landed roughly, but without missing a beat. Yukiko caught her hat, which nearly blew away at the high speed.

"You ever think about giving the hat a break and updating your look, Yukiko?" inquired Toshiro.

"Hey, at least I don't look like I'm in a dress," replied Yukiko as they continued towards the mountain, several officers in pursuit.

They did not have time to fill the hole in the blockade when Ryo drove through the wooden horses, leaving wood shards in their midst. Ally managed to grab one of the boards, and taunted the officers with it as they climbed into their cars and began to chase after the group, who was chasing another group of officers, who were chasing Yukiko and Toshiro.

"This is a new one," Ryo muttered as she looked ahead at the officers in front of her.

One of the officers threw out a net in a gun, but Zantetsu quickly tore this to shreds with only a few swift swipes.

"What do you say we get rid of our problem?" Fuji asked with a smirk as she looked down at the control panel, "Ally, that thing your sister installed is working?"

"Give it a shot!" replied Ally as he dodged a sedative shot by one of the officers.

"This is so cartoony," grumbled Ryo as she pressed a button on the control panel of the vehicle, causing slick oil to spill behind it. Many officers lost their traction, and careened into ditches or rammed into trees. Only one driver had managed to make it through the oil, one who was used to the tricks of the Lupin clan.

"How'd you learn to drive like that!?" Max asked Leo in awe, "And in stick shift, too!"

"Racing was one of my favorite things to do when I was a kid," replied Leo, who looked like a completely different person as he drove towards the Lupin gang.

"Woah!" Ryo quickly swerved out of the way as a police cruiser in front of her swerved off the road. She looked ahead, and realized what was going on.

Yukiko fired another shot, causing another tire to blow out. Another police vehicle lost control, and was no longer their problems. She heard more shots behind her, and saw Ally, doing something similar with the back tires.

"These poor four-wheel-drive bastards," tisked Yukiko with a shake of her head, "Should have gotten just front wheel drive!" she laughed as she fired another shot, busting out another officer's tire. Soon, the only problem was Leo and Max, the remaining officers.

"Hey, Ryo, maybe if you flash him, we can save the bullets!" Fuji chuckled as she looked back at Leo.

"You think that'll work?" asked Ryo in complete seriousness.

"You are doing no such thing! You're a lady, not some sort of common whore!" replied Ally vibrantly, "If you want the jerk out of your way, then shoot at him!" Ally took shot, only to have Leo swerve out of the way, "That little…" Ally grumbled, and reloaded, "Fuji, he's dodging my bullets!"

"That's my brother… Clever, yet annoying," mumbled Fuji.

"Like your dad," Heiji responded.

"Shut up," Fuji replied quickly.

"Well, I'm sorry, but he laughs like a freakin' weasel," replied Heiji.

"That's still my Daddy," answered Fuji, "And if it weren't for him being so damned depressed about Ari running away, then I'd probably be on a beach somewhere, screwing an old guy out of millions by promising to marry him, and I wouldn't have to use my brain so much."

"Just like your mom?" Heiji retorted.

"Yep," Fuji nodded, "Now, how are we going to take care of our problem, guys?"

"I'm thinking plan Q," said Ryo after a pause.

"What!? Are you nuts!?" Ally yelped.

"What's plan Q?" inquired Musashi to Odori.

"Watch," Odori replied as she unsheathed Zantetsu. Ryo brought the car down to a slower pace, allowing Max and Leo to drive beside them on the road.

"You're under arrest!" shouted Max.

"Yeah!? Well, you're kinda cute!" Fuji laughed in response, followed by the sticking out of her tongue. Max growled, and pulled out his handcuffs, and swung them at Fuji. She looked down at her wrist, apparently impressed, to see the handcuff dangling off of her thin wrist, "Nice job…" she muttered, "I wonder if you're just as good at fixing tires!"

"At what!?" Max frowned. Fuji pointed back, and Max looked in horror to see one of the back tires of the patrol car fall back, while the other three remained. Odori was on the side of the Alfa Romeo, gripping onto the car door with one hand and holding onto Zantetsu with the other. Her feet rested on a metal sled precariously.

"How'd she do that!?" Max inquired in awe as he looked down at the samurai. Odori shifted her weight to the right, where Max and Leo's car was, and jumped into the car, while the circular metal sled hit Max straight-on in the face.

Leo screeched to a halt, and leaned over his seat to check on Max while the Lupin gang sped off towards the mountain, Fuji laughing at their pursuers plight.

"I like the touch, Odori. I didn't think to slap him in the face with a sled," admitted Fuji.

"I was taken by the moment," replied Odori quietly.

"Sensai, you were terrific!" spat out Musashi excitedly, "That was quite daring! You could have been killed!"

"Daring?" Odori reiterated with interest.

"Ah, isn't this cute! Give me a second to find my digital camera, and I'll send Mom and Dad a copy of this!" said Heiji mockingly.

"I can't wait until the zoo calls wanting you back," grumbled Odori.

"Okay, okay, guys. Let's save the girl-fights for another time," sighed Fuji, "Really; behave like you're civilized for once in your life! It seems like you embarrass me every time we meet a new villain!"

"Villain? Aren't we the villains?" inquired Ryo.

"Hey, catch up, guys!" Yukiko shouted back to the group, who was admittedly dragging behind the Vespa and its two riders.

"Coming, coming! She's the ultimate backseat driver," mumbled Ryo as she pressed on the gas.

Later:

"Well, here we are. A large, cold piece of rock with all sorts of creepy and deadly things sticking out of every crevice…" muttered Fuji as she and the others stared upward at the large mountain.

"Woo hoo! All right!" chirped Ally as he jumped onto the beginnings of the mountain and began to climb.

"Or, as Ally likes to call it, 'Better than Disney'…" added Fuji as she, too began to make the climb, "And the first jerk I catch looking up my skirt is going to pay in stitches!" she added in an angry drawl.

"Hey, Fujicakes, I have a better idea," whispered Ryo to Fuji as she stopped and rested her elbow on a small ledge. Fuji turned to Ryo, and stopped.

"What?" asked Fuji.

"Why don't we take those stairs carved in the side of the mountain? Just a thought…" replied Ryo as she pointed to a series of prominently placed ledges winding around the mountain.

"I… I knew that! I was just seeing how long it took you to realize they were there!" Fuji stuttered in response.

"Uh-huh…" Ryo raised an eyebrow in skepticism, and walked over to the stairs, where most of the group was already, including a very disappointed Ally.

"Ally, I promise we'll still let you get first shot," said Fuji reassuringly as she read the look of disappointment on Ally's face.

"I'm not sure if I can do this…" Musashi admitted worriedly. "I know I've improved, Sensai, but I just didn't seem to inherit my family's terrific fighting skills! One thousand warriors!? I'm beginning to worry about this…"

"Genes have nothing to do with it, so don't even try to play that card with me!" Odori growled, "My parents were farmers in Korea! You say I am just as good as my father, yet I have none of his blood in me!" she hissed angrily, "Now, Miyamoto, we are going to face these demons, even if I have to drag you into battle like a woman!"

"You're adopted?" Musashi choked. Odori nodded silently, and Musashi returned the nod, and then in a surprise gesture, embraced her heartily.

"Oh, don't tell me he isn't doing that just to be friendly…" mumbled Heiji to Toshiro.

"Thank you for your speech of inspiration, Sensai!" said Musashi happily, "Now, since I know, I will go into battle cheerily!"

"Yes… Just don't crack my spine anymore than you have!" Odori heaved. The samurai's face had slightly blued from the lack of oxygen, and then reddened as she looked onward at the amused Toshiro and Heiji.

"Okay, can we quit the love-fest before we start making daisy chains and painting one another's faces?" inquired Fuji as she began to climb up the stone stairway to the top of the mountain, which was reached in another two hours after numerous trials and tribulations, including an eight-foot bear, which caught all by surprise.

"I'm guessing by the ominous gates we're here," said Fuji as she stood at the front gates with her hands on her hips. They were large Asian-style gates, made of what looked to be extremely thick wood oak doors and a cement Torii, painted a dull red. It only added to the darkness of the atmosphere—The sky had clouded over with black clouds, and the wind was beginning to pick up. Some of the group members were feeling slightly light-headed due to the thinner oxygen of the mountain, but not enough to effect them. They had traveled over mountainous areas all of their lives.

"Now what?" inquired Ally.

"We use our two human can openers," replied Fuji, looking back at a poised Odori and Toshiro.

Toshiro was the first to try and slice through the door, but only ended up with two nearly-broken wrists. He stood their a few moments, stunned with a look of surprised pain upon his face, before he dropped the swords.

"What happened?" frowned Fuji, "Toshiro? Are you okay? Hello?"

"Behind that rock… Yuki, come on…" Toshiro whispered. A confused Yukiko followed Toshiro behind a large boulder, and she exited from the hiding of the boulder moments later.

"What's wrong with him?" asked Ryo.

"He broke his right hand, and he didn't want anyone to see him cry like a woman. He can't take pain well, it seems," replied Yukiko, "Thank God he's a leftie… Anyway, anyone got anything I can use to hold a splint together? I found two small boards I can use, but I have nothing to hold it with."

"Here," Odori reached up, and took the thick strip of cloth which held her hair up and handed it to Yukiko. She then took a rubber band which she hid in her gi, and put up her waist-length black hair with this.

"Thanks," Yukiko nodded, and walked back behind the boulder. Toshiro was seated on the ground, and looked up at Yukiko as she approached, and then looked downward at his hand. Yukiko smirked, and kneeled down in front of him, "Dori gave me this… This might hurt when I set it, but we'll get you a doctor when we get back down…."

"I'll be all right," replied Toshiro as Yukiko set his hand into place. He winced as she moved the broken bones around, and Yukiko immediately noticed. She pulled out a metal flask, and stuck it in his mouth after she uncorked it. He spat, and pulled it out of his mouth, and Toshiro looked down at the bottle, "What is this?"

"Whiskey," replied Yukiko, "Warms you up in the winter, keeps you cool in the summer."

"Hey, let's go on the road after this," suggested Toshiro.

"Yep, you're drunk," she smiled, and put the flask of whiskey back in her pocket.

"You look very pretty this evening…" mumbled Toshiro, who was feeling a tad drunk at that point.

"Okay, it's getting awkward now. Let's get going…" said Yukiko as she turned to walk out to the others, "Come on, Toshiro…."

Toshiro nodded, rose uneasily, and followed her out to the others, who were still trying to figure out how to enter the through fortress-like doors.

"Do you think we could blow it up?" mumbled Fuji as she tested the door a few times by kicking it lightly with the tip of her high-heeled shoe.

"I could go get the dynamite," added Ryo.

"LUPIN!" shouted Max Zenigata as he ran up the side of the mountain to the others, the long-legged Leo LeBlanc panting behind him, trying to keep up in vain, "You're under arrest!" shouted Max.

"Uh-oh…" mumbled Fuji, "Let's jump it…" She turned to leave, and much to her surprise, the doors slowly creaked open. After their eyes had adjusted to the darkness within, all saw, much to their horror, hundreds of dark eyes staring back at them with an apparent intent to kill.

"Um… I think that Lupin's suddenly become the least of our problems, Max," muttered Leo with a dry gulp.

"All right, who's ready to come on and play? I sure as hell am," smirked Yukiko as she spun the chamber of her gun.

"Same here," added Odori as she fixed herself into a fighting stance and stared forward at the ninjas.