DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Lupin the Third franchise… Now quit reading this, get on with the story.
Hiya!
I'm not sure if this is coming late or not, but if it is, I'm sorry—Went to an Anime convention this weekend, my first—I am rethinking how much I know about Anime now. There were people who literally lived, ate, and breathed Anime. A lot of wonderful people and wonderful costumes all around—Making for a very happy atmosphere. Seeing Inu-Yasha and Sailor Moon walking down the same hall, it was quite a surreal experience. I'd recommend conventions to anyone who is near one… Well, so much for my plug-in (and I wasn't even paid for it!!) on with the story!
Chapter Eighteen
A Few Moments Later: Tequila
'Please don't wake me, no, don't shake me,
Leave me where I am, I'm only sleeping,'
--The Beatles, 'I'm Only Sleeping'
A San Francisco Home:
"Well, you don't look like you're with a church…" said a small boy as he looked upward at the white-suited woman.
"No, I'm with the church of… Saint… Lazslo…" said Yukiko, looking upward at the porch roof, "And, I'm going around, blessing… Computers!"
"Uh-huh," the young boy looked upward at her suspiciously.
"Is that it there?" Yukiko inquired, looking over his head at the back room.
"Get out before I call my Mommy!" shouted the boy.
"No, no, please don't!" begged Yukiko, kneeling down to his level, "Here, uh, here's a dollar!" she pulled out her leather wallet, and retrieved a single dollar bill.
"I saw a twenty in there…"said the child.
"Fine! Dammit!" Yukiko grumbled, and shoved the twenty in his hand, "Now can I see your computer?"
"Two minutes," he replied, and stood aside while she entered. After trying in vain to turn the computer on, she found another dead end. Heiji had come to the conclusion that the hacker's computer must still be in working order, unlike others attacked with the viruses, which would eventually shut themselves off.
"Nothing!" she groaned, and rolled back in the computer chair. Her cell phone rang, and she answered, "Hello?"
"Your two minutes are up!" the boy shouted to Yukiko.
"We've gone through fifty other addresses," replied Heiji, "We're down to half a page. How're Toshiro and Dori doing?"
"Toshiro's about ready to pass out from having to talk with these people, and Dori's probably close to killing someone about now, knowing her…" replied Yukiko.
"They're up!" the boy shouted, "Get out!" he kicked upward, knocking her fedora off of her head. She spun around in her chair, and both she and the boy looked downward at her fedora with the gun poking out of it.
"Gotta go, Heiji," Yukiko clicked the phone off, and shoved it in her white pant pocket. The speechless boy watched as Yukiko picked her hat up, shoved her gun in the hat, and looked upward at him, "Never open the door to strangers, kid." She said, and was off to yet another home.
A different part of San Francisco:
"All right… Last one, Toshiro… Then it's you, a bottle of sake, and a highly attractive Swedish masseuse…" Toshiro sighed to himself as he practically fell on the doorbell of the household.
"Coming, coming!" he heard in a British accent. Toshiro sighed, and leaned against the white and red home, and failed to look upward at the homeowner.
"Hello, would you be interested in learning how to detect computer viruses?" Toshiro asked as though he were simply reading lines from a script.
"Well, no, really, I—Mona Lisa?" Toshiro heard in an astonished gasp. He looked upward, and saw a white male, about twenty years older than him, with blue eyes and a smile upon his face, "You… You haven't changed a bit! Well, save the outfit—And about half a foot in height… And that accent… What's going on here? Who are you, and why do you look like Goemon?"
"Goemon?" Toshiro perked up in interest, "You… You knew my father?"
"Blimey, you're his kid, aren't you? I'm Collin Gilmour, a good friend of your old man's. I… I really admired him—Well, that was after I tried to murder him and/or nail him, but, hey. You want to come in for a drink?" Collin asked hopefully.
"Ur… I don't have much time…" Toshiro replied, looking downward at his sandals nervously, "I have to help Heiji out…"
"Heiji? Who's that, your boyfriend?"
"What!?! N—No… He's my brother," a flustered Toshiro responded quickly.
"Well, what's the trouble there, Dear? Anything an old family friend can do to help?" inquired Collin.
"Not unless you're a computer genius," Toshiro replied. Collin smiled in response, and laughed.
"Well, Mona Lisa Junior, you're in a bit of luck. I happen to be the only person to ever send a virus to Amaya Ishikawa's computer!" Collin crowed happily.
"My mother? You… You crashed her computer?"
"Of course! Enjoyed every damn moment of it—But don't let her know. That will be our little secret, now, all right?" he said with a wink, "Are they still married, by the way?"
"Yes," Toshiro nodded.
"Bloody hell… Oh, well," Collin shrugged, "Come in, I'll get in a pot of tea going, and I'll see what the problem is."
"I don't have much time. A friend of mine's life is in danger," replied Toshiro quickly.
"All right, then. I solve your problem, and then we sit down to some tea. I want to hear all about my dear little samurai, and what he's been up to the past decade or so. Deal?"
"I, ur, suppose," Toshiro nodded, and shook Collin's hand, and could not shake off the somewhat uneasy feeling Gilmour gave him.
The Hospital:
"Get your bony elbow off of me!" Fuji moaned as she awoke. She pushed herself off of Max, and looked around tiredly, "What's going on? Why are the backup lights on?"
"The computers must have gone out here, too!" Max gasped in realization, "Let's hope that he hasn't knocked out the computer systems…"
"You're kidding—They could do that?" Fuji gulped.
"Yeah. Let's just pray that they don't," replied Max.
"I hate not being in control," Fuji grumbled.
Leo's Mind:
"Dad, what's going on? I don't understand what's going on," Leo said to his father, who wore an equally distressed look.
"I don't know, either," replied Lupin, "This could be potentially bad news…"
"Bad? How bad?" Leo inquired.
"Just stay calm and hope this doesn't get any weirder, like a musical number," said Lupin.
Collin's home:
"Ah, here's your problem! This little bugger right here is the cause of all of your problems!" said Collin ecstatically, "Score one for the British team!"
"There? Thank you so much, Mr. Gilmour! I've got to make a phone call!" said Toshiro, rising out of the cushy seat and grabbing his cell phone.
"I'll put that pot of tea on," said Collin, rising from his computer and walking towards the kitchen area.
"Hello, Heiji? I've got an address!" said Toshiro happily.
"What, how!?" asked Heiji.
"This guy Dad used to know—Collin," replied Toshiro excitedly, "He's some sort of genius at computers! He even crashed Mom's computer once!"
"The really gay guy who had that horrible crush on Dad?" Heiji yelped.
"Oh boy…" Toshiro gulped, "I knew I recognized him…"
"Ha ha! Thank God you got the looks in the family—Dad's looks!" Heiji howled with laughter, "Ah, I needed a laugh… Anyway, send that address my way, and I'll get Odori to check it out."
"Yeah," Toshiro nodded, and read the computer address off of the screen to Heiji.
"Thanks a million. You coming back now?" asked Heiji.
"No, I'm staying for tea," replied Toshiro as he looked back at Collin in the kitchen.
"Hee hee… Have fun!" Heiji laughed, and hung up on Toshiro in order to call Odori. Dori was less than amused to hear the news.
"You're officially the world's greatest moron!" snapped Odori over the phone, "And I was convinced I had reached the height of density with Miyamoto!"
"I take it you've missed your nap," sighed Heiji, "Now, will you go get him?"
"Yes, but you're coming, too," replied Odori.
"What? Why me?" inquired Heiji.
"Because that's the address of our hotel!" yelled Odori in her cell phone, causing several people on the trolley she was riding on to stop and look back at her, "Kuso (damn/crap)…." she growled, leaning back in her wooden bench.
Later, at the Hotel:
"All right, you guys ready?" Yukiko whispered as she, Heiji, and Odori stood in front of the wooden door of the computer door, "We don't know how dangerous this guy is, so just back me, guys!"
"Why should I back you? I have the stronger weapon!" exclaimed Odori.
"I can fire before you have time to unsheathe your sword," replied Yukiko. She backed up, and kicked the doorknob off of the door, and ran in with Heiji and Odori, weapons drawn. All they found was the young Louis sitting at his computer, looking back at them in surprise.
"You—You!?" Odori blinked in surprise.
"Who in the hell are you!?" inquired Yukiko.
"Wow… I guess you figured it out then, huh?" Louis said, looking downward at the ground.
"What's the idea? Why were you using my name?" inquired Heiji, livid as ever.
"What hacker wouldn't?" Louis snorted, "You're only, like, one of the best, ever! I didn't want to get in trouble, but I thought you'd think it'd be kind of cool."
"It's not cool, Kid—My dad's waiting for my at home with a switch thanks to you!" Heiji replied, but his attitude calmed as he looked at Louis's expression.
"Heiji, cool it," Yukiko whispered, and put her gun in her belt behind her back, "All right, here's the thing, Kid," she sighed, and kneeled in front of him. "We have a friend who's really, really sick in the hospital—If you don't switch this crap back on, he's going to die. I think you pretty much know how scary a hospital is, by the looks of you."
Louis and she both looked downward at his false limb, and Louis nodded, "Okay, but one condition." he added.
"Sure," she shrugged, and leaned inwards as he whispered it to her. Yukiko blinked several times in surprise, and stood back on her haunches, "Okay. I think I can talk to her…"
"Good," Louis smiled, and turned back to his computer. While he went to switching things back on, Odori looked around his room, which was very reminiscent of Heiji's. He was worthy of the Lord of the Nerds, she thought to herself as she flipped through a photo album of cut out pictures of the Lupin gang.
"This child is just like you, Heiji. Right down to the borderline unhealthy crush on Fuji," said Odori bemusedly.
"It's not unhealthy!" Louis and Heiji snapped.
The Hospital:
Max and Fuji both let out sighs of relief as the regular lights switched back on, and Fuji slid back in her chair.
"What a way to spend a weekend," an exhausted Max muttered to Fuji.
"Amen," said Fuji tiredly. Both turned to the swinging doors, and watched as a nurse flew past them. Fuji and Max both noticed the numerous bracelets she wore, which jingled and shone in the florescent lighting as she passed.
"Wasn't that… Oh, I'm too tired to wonder…" sighed Max.
"Well, you two have managed to wear me out for the week. I see Cancun in my future," replied Fuji as she looked upward thoughtfully.
"Funny, I see you in a set of handcuffs," snapped Max.
"Zenigata, I never knew you were such a pervert," smirked Fuji.
"I'm too exhausted to yell out a retort to that," admitted Max.
"I'm too exhausted to be anymore clever than that," Fuji admitted.
In a hospital room, several hours later:
Leo heard sounds, first. Amongst the sounds in the room were beeping and clicking machines, and the humming of someone—A woman. He could smell a woman's perfume, and grew somewhat nervous. He wondered what she looked like, and if she were his nurse, or an angel of some sort. Had he actually gotten into heaven, after everything he had done?
LeBlanc then opened his eyes, and saw a dark-haired nurse at his side, riding a magazine whilst she hummed. He recognized the humming, and then the bracelets.
"Ry—Ryoko?" he choked.
"Hm? Oh, you're awake!" Ryo sighed in relief, and tossed her magazine aside, "How are you feeling?"
"Like I was run over…" answered Leo, "How—How long have you been here, exactly?"
"Hours," replied Ryo, looking down at her watch, "You pull off a paper dress really well, you know."
Leo blushed in response, and reddened even more as Ryo leaned inward and kissed him briefly on the forehead, "I have to get going, now. I'm glad you're all right, Ari… You had me worried there, Ari-kun."
"Uh, ye-yeah," Leo sputtered, and turned his head to a side.
"Catch you around," she squeezed his hand once, and exited the room, "You can see the patient, now," she said to Max and Fuji as she walked past them and out of the swinging doors. Max and Fuji both stood, and walked into the patient's room, both with flowers that they had purchased in a gift store a floor below.
"Max?" Leo squinted, "Fujiko!?" he added in surprise, and continued to give a puzzled look as he saw how close they were standing to one another. Fuji saw this, and took a side step away from Max.
"Well, look what the cat drug in… Or, moreover, what the cat drug down the road," Fuji said with a smirk, "How're you feeling, LeBlanc? Good? You look like hell!"
"I look just like I feel," Leo answered, "Why isn't she in jail?" he inquired of Max.
"It's part of a deal we've got going," Max replied hesitantly.
"We're on neutral terms due to your illness, Inspector LeBlanc. You know that'd I'm a lady before I'm a bitch!" smiled Fuji, "I hope you enjoy your flowers!"
"Yeah…. Um, they're my favorite," Leo replied as he looked at the vase of purple irises.
"Purple… Figures," Max said with a roll of the eyes, "Well, I've spoken with Interpol, LeBlanc, and we're ready to get you back as soon as possible."
"Yeah, Leonard," Fuji snorted, "Jeeze, you couldn't have chosen a better name?"
"Max, could you go downstairs and grab me a soda?" Leo asked tiredly.
"Sure thing, LeBlanc," Max nodded, and was soon out of the private room. When he had left, Fuji kneeled down in front of Leo, and sighed.
"Why do you have to scare me so much?" she inquired tiredly.
"It's my job to protect everyone," Leo whispered to her.
"Not at the price of your life, though. You can't save anyone when you're dead," said Fuji, rising, "I hope this struck some sense into you…"
"Do Mom and Dad know?" inquired Leo.
"Yeah," Fuji nodded, "and they're both worried sick! Boy you can be an idiot sometimes!"
"It's genetic," Leo replied with a weak laugh, "How are you holding up, by the way?"
"Hey, let's not change the subject! You were the one who turned your life into a game of Frogger!" said Fuji.
"It's my job to worry," said Leo, "Thanks, Fuji… For still caring…"
"I never stopped caring for you!" replied Fuji, "It's just… Never mind, dammit… Just promise you'll never, ever do anything that stupid again, okay? You've got me so on edge I'm going to Blondie for comfort!"
"That bad? Okay, I'll try to tone it down," said Leo.
"I've got to head out now, but take care," Fuji said, leaning inward and embracing him. She honestly did not want to let go of her grip on her brother, but it was Leo who slowly broke from the embrace.
"Well, until next time," Leo said.
"Yep! Good luck finding me!" Fuji laughed, opening his hospital window and escaping out on the rooftop, but not before she closed the window. When Max returned, he found Fuji gone, and Leo asleep from exhaustion. Zenigata sighed, sat the can down on the table next to Leo's bed, and seated himself in the old faux leather couch in the hospital recovery room.
Collin's House, San Francisco, Later:
"So, what's with the two swords?" Collin inquired as he looked over Toshiro's shoulders at his dual blades.
"It's a technique I taught myself. Dad isn't very happy with it, but I learned a long time ago that the only person I have to please is myself," said Toshiro, "It's late. I must leave now. Yukiko and the others will wonder where I am."
"Yukiko? I remember little Yukiko… She's the little brat I tried to off a while back. She gave me one, right in the face, with those darling little shoes," chuckled Collin, "It was nothing personal, Love. I know you two have been friends for some time now, so I can understand how you feel about now…"
"She's a very strong woman, Mr. Gilmour. She took out an entire bar in Spain…" said Toshiro.
"A bar? Try several bars!" Collin laughed, "The White Devil of Barcelona was quite a quaint little tale…. She sounds just like her father, that Chap with the severe nose…."
"Jigen," corrected Toshiro.
"Hm… Yes… Did he ever get a nose job or anything?" Collin inquired, "And is he still with it with the bloody hat?"
"No and yes," replied Toshiro.
"Damn… He was a bit scrawny overall, but had eyes that could make anyone melt… And that partner of his, Lupin… I've always been one for someone who can speak French… But nothing beat that smile of your old man's. A very Mona Lisa-like smile. I was able to tell right then and there that I was dealing with a heartbreaker, but, alas, poor Collin, sees a pretty face and goes running after it," sighed Collin, "Your dad was only one who never really gave into my charms, come to think of it. Damn shame…"
"I must go," said Toshiro, rising as he spoke.
"My apologies if I made you uncomfortable. I have no bad intentions with you, Dear. I'm not one of those freaks who goes about picking up the latest babe from the cradle," Collin reassured Toshiro, "I just… My partner died a few years back, and I haven't really spoken like this to anyone in since then…"
"Oh, my apologies," the stunned Toshiro replied, "I feel for you… I locked myself away after my girlfriend died… Nearly a year ago…"
"Really? Sorry to hear that," Collin said with true sympathy in his tone, "Well, keep in touch, Dear. Hope to hear from you soon…"
"Thank you for the drinks," nodded Toshiro. Ishikawa rose, and had Collin lead him out of the home back onto the streets, where Collin watched him meld into the crowd.
"My little Mona Lisa returned, after all," Collin sighed, and closed the door to the house.
Later that Night:
"I can't believe you just whored me out like some kind of call girl!" Fuji huffed as she adjusted the straps of her blue gown and looked back at Heiji in a dresser mirror.
"If the shoe fits," Heiji said to himself as he busied himself at the computer.
"What'd you say?"
"Nothing… These are the terms of the agreement, Fuji—Sorry. It's not that bad," Heiji shrugged.
"I'm taking a kid to dance… This is just like the Obon festival," sighed Fuji.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I took Ari to a dance once," she replied with a shrug as she examined herself in the mirror, "He just looked so lonely… He never really had any dates, you know?"
"I would," Heiji snorted. "Hey, why don't you head out now? Kid's probably waiting for you downstairs…. I've got a lot of work to do around here…"
"All right… Well, catch you later!" she waved, and trotted out of the hotel room, leaving Heiji alone with his work. Heiji stared upward at the door, shook his head, and went back to his work. He heard a rapping upon the door, rose, and opened it. He found Odori in the doorway, looking as severe as usual.
"What's up?" he inquired.
"I think I'm doing what's referred to as an 'intervention'," replied Odori, "May I come in?"
"Sure, help yourself. Just don't trail the blood from the corpses you probably devoured for lunch," Heiji answered as he closed the door behind himself and walked back to the bed. He seated himself on the bed whilst Odori found a spot on a cushioned chair.
"I want to know why you are wearing this pained expression nowadays. You look almost like Toshiro."
"What's that supposed to mean?" inquired Heiji.
"It's obvious he lusts after Yukiko, and has for years," replied the deadpan Odori, "And you are beginning to look just like him…"
"Nonsense. You know I look like Mom. And for no blood relation, you look scarily like Dad," said Heiji, whose smile fell as he saw his humor would not help change the tides of Odori's worry.
"Love hurts, but unrequited love is like an eternal curse to a fiery prison… Especially when that person fancies someone else…" said Odori, "You would do anything for the person, and yet they run off in different directions, or more often, show no interest. I have a strong feeling such is the case between you and Fujiko."
"Why is everyone convinced I like her?" Heiji sighed, lying back in bed.
"Well, perhaps I am mistaken," Odori shrugged, "Perhaps it is just a strong friendship you both share… But I'm concerned, Heiji. I know we joke, and I often make threats dealing with your throat meeting my blade, but I am concerned. I owe you a great deal, for you were the one who helped Father to train me in the beginning," she said.
"Okay, what have you done with Odori?" asked Heiji after a pause.
Odori smirked, and looked upward at him, "I figured as much. If you ever want to speak with me, I will listen. But perhaps you should speak with Toshiro… He knows much more about this subject…"
"Uh-huh… Thanks for the advice… Hey, you ever think that you could be Buddha's next incarnation? Wouldn't Mom and Dad be proud! You might even outshine Toshiro as the most successful of us!" said Heiji.
Odori gave a rare smile, shook her head, and walked out of the bedroom, "Poor idiot… If only I could help both he and Toshiro… There must be some way…" she sighed, and walked into her own room, seeing Fuji and Louis walk down the hotel stairs before she closed the bedroom door completely.
She found Ryo there watching a Western drama, but Yukiko was nowhere to be seen, "Where's—"
"Out drinking with your brother… Again," replied Ryo, "I swear… If they spent as much time trying to get somewhere with their lives as they do getting drunk, they wouldn't be in the same place that they were ten years ago…"
Both turned back towards the door as they heard it open, and Ryo gasped as she saw who it was. Ally, looking tired and agitated from a long walk, "Oh my God, Ally!"
"Don't… Talk… It was a long walk…" Ally replied, "I just want to tell you… We're having a long talk tomorrow, about gas station etiquette… Good night, Ryoko."
"Ally, I'm so sorry," she repeated.
"I'm gonna go soak in the bathtub… After riding with the truckdriver I drove with, I need it," he answered with a shudder.
A San Francisco Bar:
"Uno mas!" laughed a red-faced Yukiko to Toshiro. Toshiro nodded, and poured some more Tequila into Yukiko's shot glass, as instructed.
"How many does this make for you?" asked Toshiro.
"Four," said Yukiko. She took a swig of the tequila shot, and set the shot glass down on the table, "Five!"
"Jeeze, I'm only on three!" Toshiro sighed as he looked into his shot glass.
"Hey, I swallowed the worm!" she laughed, looking upward at the bottle and examining the amber liquid. She pushed back in her bar chair and fell onto the floor, and continued laughing, "Oh, oh God… Ha ha! My dad would kill me if he saw me! And if he knew I smoked! Ha ha…. I'd be done for!"
"Here, let me help you…" Toshiro sighed, and slid off of his chair. He bent downward to lift her back up, and she uneasily rose from the floor.
"You two have enough?" inquired the bartender as he watched Toshiro seat Yukiko in a seat and sit down next to her, "How about I call a cab, and he'll take you back to whosever place you two are gonna crash at tonight. But I guess not…" he added.
"Why's that?" asked Yukiko as she took another drink.
"Well, I didn't know you went for married men. It's okay, I see it all the time," shrugged the bartender. Yukiko frowned in confusion until she saw what he was speaking about. She had never noticed it, but Toshiro wore ring on his left hand. She said nothing, but shared a period of silence with him.
"I'm not married," Toshiro explained with a laugh.
"Yeah, you are… You're married to the past," Yukiko sighed, removed a few bills out of her pocket, and threw it at the bartender as she left the bar, leaving Toshiro speechless, "Keep the change!" she shouted.
"You wanna talk about it, Pal?" asked the bartender.
"No, I have to be heading back…" Toshiro replied, rising and leaving his payment as well.