DISCLAIMER: I like rice. I like Lupin. I've run out of rice, and I don't own Lupin, making things twice as sad.

Hola!

Going back to school, so expect to see less frequent updates (sorry, guys). Hope you're enjoying so far, even more fun and dysfunctional ahead (Bwahahahahahaha…..) Okay, enough evil laughter and caffeine for me—Enjoy the next chapter!

Chapter Twenty Three

A Short While Later: This Diamond Ring

'You'll be older too,

And if you say the word,

I could stay with you,'

—The Beatles, 'When I'm Sixty-Four'

A Local Hospital:

"Wha—Oh, my shoulder…." Heiji muttered as he opened his eyes, and found his vision blurred, "Where're my glasses?"

"Here," he heard, and felt his glasses in his hand. He placed the thick black framed glasses on his face, and turned to see Odori sitting cross-legged in a chair.

"Dori? What are you doing here?" Heiji inquired.

"Watching out for you," she replied, "How do you feel?"

"Like crap…." Heiji admitted, "What happened?"

"A woman with Zenigata and LeBlanc shot you," Odori replied, "You'll be fine, don't worry… The bullet went right through you—We found it in the front seat of the Alpha Romeo."

"Dori, I'm back with lunch!" said Toshiro as he walked into the room, "Heiji! You're awake! How are you?"

"I feel like I've been shot…"

"Well, I—"

"I know, it's called sarcasm," said Heiji, putting a hand over his forehead, "How long was I out?"

"Two days," Odori answered, "You've never been so quiet, or still, so long, when a video game wasn't involved."

"Hee hee…" Heiji grumbled, "Can someone get me something to eat?"

"As long as it's on your diet," replied Toshiro, retrieving a list from a hidden pocket within his gi.

"Diet!?" Heiji yelped, "God… I think I'm going to go back into my coma now…"

"Not so fast," said Odori, "Fuji's been worried about you for days."

"Fuji's worried about me?" Heiji wondered out loud.

"Horribly. That bullet was meant for her. It would've gone through her neck—You saved her life," Toshiro said.

"I'd consider her heartless if you asked her to return the favor with a friendly date and she declined," said Odori.

"I'm not going to play the pity card!" snapped Heiji. "Toshiro, you wouldn't do that, right!?"

"Um… Hey, someone left you flowers!" said Toshiro, walking over to a nearby table, "Aren't these gorgeous!?"

"You're sad…" said Heiji with a frown.

"Sad, yet more experienced than you, Heiji," muttered Odori, "Men are all the same… They expect women to show sympathy and give in to them whenever they receive the smallest scrape or cut."

"Yeah, like you did with Miyamoto?" said Heiji, "You made puppy eyes the whole time at the guy! I thought you were going to stab yourself when you laid eyes on his girlfriend!"

"At least she has Victor," said Toshiro.

"You both suck! I'm going to the vending machines!" Odori hissed venomously, exiting the hospital room.

"That's the first time she's left since they brought you here," said Toshiro to Heiji as he watched Odori exit, "She cried…"

"Odori cried?" Heiji muttered in surprise.

"Yeah," Toshiro nodded, "And Fuji's but on a brave face, as usual, but she's been frightened, too."

"I didn't know she cared that much…. Especially after…" Heiji trailed off.

"After what?" inquired Toshiro.

"You remember Cagliostro?"

"Of course," Toshiro nodded, and seated himself in the chair that Odori had been using previously.

"I was in a closet, looking for some cable I had left behind… Fuji comes in, then Zenigata… Long story short, she kissed him."

"What?" Toshiro choked, "Are you sure!?"

"I can't forget something like that… It's been burned into my mind," muttered Heiji with a roll of the eyes, "Just don't tell anyone, all right? Our secret—And if you do tell, I won't be able to show everyone those letters you write to Yukiko but never give to her."

"Wha—I… Yeah," Toshiro nodded. He turned his head towards the door, and say Fuji in the doorway. From her cheery expression, Toshiro surmised that she had not heard their conversation.

"Heiji-chan!" Fuji gasped, "You're awake! Finally! You were in quite a deep sleep, hee hee hee…"

"And they've put me on a special diet now," Heiji grumbled.

"It's okay," Fuji leaned inward to him, "I'm the best there is—I think I can sneak in a milkshake for you."

"In what?" Heiji snorted, looking her up and down, "Anyway, how's business? Have you found our culprit yet?"

Fuji frowned, and sighed, "No… And I need your computer nerd skills to help me out…"

"Bring me a laptop, and I'll see what I can do," said Heiji.

"You won't be doing any such thing!" both looked back to see Odori had returned, "You're resting, Heiji Ishikawa! If you so much as breath near a computer within the next week, you'll have hell to pay from me!"

"Dori, please?" Fuji begged, "We really, really need his help!"

"Absolutely not," said Odori firmly, folding her arms and standing rigidly.

"She was this strict with Dad, too," sighed Heiji to Fuji, "She hid all of his weapons from him and locked them all in a closet he couldn't open… He pouted for quite a while…"

"But he's in much better health now," Odori added.

"Where's everyone else?" inquire Heiji.

"They're… Working on a different case…" Fuji coughed, "Ally's going to kill me…"

"Why?" inquired Heiji with a frown, "Fuji?"

A Parisian Club Les Hommes:

"She's the ugliest one up there," one man whispered to another, "Look at that nose!"

"I know… You'd think she's never worn heels before!" the other sighed.

While the two spoke to the gaudily dressed performer in a blue sequined gown and red wig, two waitresses met in the back of the club, and whispered to one another, "He's doing a good job…" Yukiko whispered.

"I know… It's scary…" Ryo whispered as she looked onward at Ally, "He's really getting to this, considering for freaked he was on having to go to drag club…"

"Did you know he knew all the words to I Will Survive? I didn't," Yukiko whispered, "At least this isn't as embarrassing for him as it was when he sang Mambo Italiano drunk at our cousin's wedding."

"Okay, enough—Back to work. I distract, you get the ruby…" whispered Ryo, picking up her tray and separating from Yukiko.

While the two waitresses and performer remained at work, three certain inspectors walked in, "Great… And me in purple…" Leo muttered.

"I didn't tell you to wear it," said Max.

"Both of you quiet. I'm sick of your bickering. If I hear so much as one peep out of either of you you'll both hear from the Commissioner!" grumbled Sharon, "Three of them are here, somewhere."

"I'll go look out by the bar," said Leo, separating and sitting at the bar. He became accustomed to the swivel chair after a few moments, and pulled out a few photos of the Lupin gang, "Excuse me, have you seen these people?" he inquired of the bartender.

"Nope," she replied in a surprisingly deep voice. Leo jerked his head back, but regained his composure, and turned to the man next to him.

"Excuse me, have you—"

"Gemini!" said the man with a laugh.

"What?"

"You're a Gemini, aren't you?"

"Please, I have a bad experience with the zodiac… Have you seen these people around?" inquired Leo with a sigh, showing him the photograph.

"No, but you know, I haven't seen you around, either," said the man, "And that is quite a shame…"

"Er…" Leo leaned back in his chair, and loosened his tie, "It's quite important, I—"

"Is that your natural hair color? It matches your eyes so well!"

"Hey, get off of him!" Max shouted, walking over to Leo.

"Sorry, didn't realize he was taken… You lucky little bitch," he replied.

"What—We're not…" Max started.

"Hee hee…Come on, Honey. We'll be late for our appointment!" Leo said as he slid off the stool, and walked away from the bar, forcing one of Max's arms over his shoulders.

"What in the hell are you doing!?" Max yelped, his face flushing red.

"Please, please help me… He wouldn't leave me alone!" Leo moaned.

"So!? You have a gun! Just say you'll shoot him!" Max whispered. Both turned at the sound of a loud crash, and looked at a slack-jawed waitress. She came to her senses after a few moments, and began to clean up her fallen dishes.

"Please, please tell me I didn't just see that…" Ryo whispered as she shut her eyes tightly and went to picking up the fallen plates, "Please tell me I didn't just see my ex-fiancé with Zenigata in a drag bar…."

"Hey, I've got it!" Yukiko whispered as she ran up to Ryo, "What's wrong?"

"Ari's here with Max!" Ryo whispered in return, "Zenigata had his arm over him!"

"What!?" Yukiko choked.

"Nevermind—Let's just get Ally and leave!" she grumbled, throwing her tray onto the floor once more and walking with Yukiko to Ally, or, as he was called there, Aleena.

"Hey, I got five phone numbers!" said Ally, "They're all from plastic surgeons, though, who want me to get a nose job…"

"We're out," Yukiko whispered, nodding to the front entrance.

"Oh, no… That creepy lady who shot Heiji's here, too!" Ally yelped, "I'll take care of her… You two get out of here."

"You sure?" inquired Yukiko.

"Yeah… I'm feeling quite empowered in these heels," Ally replied, walking towards Sharon and smiling, "So, how do you like the show?"

"Watchable," Sharon replied, "I need to know if you've seen—"

"You know, you look great—I can't even tell… Except for that mustache, though," said Ally.

"What?" Sharon inquired with a frown, "I'm not in drag!"

"You're not!?" Ally gasped, "Oh, well I'm so sorry! You'd be a great man, though!"

Sharon grumbled, "Pardon me, I'm wasting my time talking with you…" she said, pushing her way past Ally, "You look… Well, what can I say?" Sharon whispered as she brushed past Jigen.

"Perfecto," Ally chuckled, smiling. What he did not see was Sharon smiling as well. He had no idea that when she had brushed past him, she had placed a tracking device on him.

"Zenigata! LeBlanc! We're out!" Sharon yelled to them. Leo and Max fell to attention, and followed Sharon out of the club, "I put a tracking device on the perpetrators. We ought to have a clear path back out to their hideout."

"Why didn't we ever think of that?" Leo asked as he exited with Max.

"If you two were bright enough, you wouldn't need me," Sharon snapped as she pulled out a cigarette and lit it, "Pall Mall?" she offered.

"We don't allow smoking in the cruiser," said Leo.

"Usually, we don't," Max corrected quickly. Leo grumbled, and seated himself behind the passenger seat, and glowered at the two.

Back at the Paris House:

"AHH! You got it! I love you, I love you, I love you all!" Fuji squealed happily as Yukiko revealed the ruby from beneath her fedora, "It's so pretty and shiny and totally free of any zombie curses!"

"We hope," added Ally as he tore off his wig and walked into the kitchen. Toshiro was in the kitchen area, preparing dinner, and looked up and blinked at Ally a few moments in question.

"Hey, at least I don't wear a dress 24/7," said Ally with a snap as he opened one of the cabinets, "Jeeze, my back hurts! How does Fuji manage?"

"Who are you supposed to be, anyway?" inquired Toshiro.

"Aleena, and if my father's told about this they'll never find your body," Ally answered blandly, "I'm going to change into my suit… This thing's pretty drafty…"

"Dolly Parton with five 'o clock shadow," Toshiro sighed, "And Julia wondered why I went to a therapist."

"It was probably because you and your birds were arguing too much," he heard in a chuckle, and turned to see Yukiko in the kitchen area, "What're you making? Is it actually edible this time?"

"At least I've never set boiling water ablaze," Toshiro retorted, "I'm making a favorite…"

"Sushi?" said Yukiko with a roll of the eyes.

"My sushi makes people sick… I'm making chicken nuggets."

"Yum. Straight from the box," sighed Yukiko, "This is why Ally does most of the cooking, you know."

"I know," Toshiro sighed. Both grew wide-eyed as flames licked up from behind the door of the oven, and Yukiko quickly ran for the sink as the flames grew larger. She quickly filled up her fedora with water and threw it on the blaze while Toshiro batted it out with a towel.

"How about takeout?" Yukiko suggested as she and Toshiro both peered inward at the blackened coals formerly known as chicken nuggets.

"I'll pay," Toshiro responded as he shut the oven door once more.

"What do you feel like, Chinese?" Yukiko asked as she flipped open a phone book and began to scan through it. She frowned in confusion as she saw another hand place itself over the phonebook, and turned about to see she was cornered by Toshiro.

"You should go without the hat more often…" he said as he began to lean inward towards her.

"Hey, guys, I—Whoa! Busy, eh? You, uh, think you could find somewhere other than the kitchen? I mean, for crying out loud, people eat here!" Fuji laughed, "And what if my parents came in, huh?"

"Nothing was going on," Yukiko said, pushing one of Toshiro's arms aside, "Right, Toshiro? Nothing…."

"Uh… Sure," Toshiro nodded, and cringed at the glare Yukiko delivered as she walked upward to her bedroom, "I'm going to order takeout…"

"You tried to cook again, eh?" Fuji chuckled, "You know, Daddy isn't half bad at it! I wish we had Ming here… She'd make a great dinner!" She perched herself on the table, and smiled, "So, it's that bad, eh? I never would've guessed." She chuckled.

"Guessed what?" Toshiro inquired nervously.

"You know, if I were you, I would've tackled them by now, but I guess you could always take Ryo's advice and talk it out…" said Fuji.

"Ah, yes. And have the mighty squirrel sadist come in and chop me up into little bits," nodded Toshiro, "He may be a midget by my standards, but he's also a double black belt!"

"Odori's still at the hospital…" said Fuji, "You know, I could get him out of your hair for a few hours, so you can talk with her…"

"I don't know," Toshiro sighed heavily, "What's the catch?"

"You make sure you keep Odori from killing the woman who hurt Heiji," said Fuji with a smile, "I'm a thief, not a fighter…. She tried to kill me… And Heiji-chan took the bullet… But you can't kill her… I can't tell you why, but if she is hurt, a lot of people might not like Odori anymore…"

"All right, deal," Toshiro nodded.

Later that night:

"Where's everyone else?" Yukiko inquired as Toshiro led her into the living room.

"They went out to visit Heiji. Why don't you sit down with me for a little bit?" Toshiro asked, seating himself on the couch in front of a fireplace. Yukiko jumped over the back of the chair and landed next to him, and smirked as she leaned back against the couch.

"Yeah? What's on your mind?" asked Yukiko as she turned to him.

Toshiro sighed, and looked downward at his sandals, "You remember when I asked you where you'd be in ten years?"

"Yeah, I do."

"I meant, you and me," he replied.

"Oh?" Yukiko tilted her fedora upward and stared at the ceiling, "Well, I guess we'll still be friends, eh? I mean, unless one of us are dead, ha ha!"

"I certainly hope we won't be," Toshiro smirked, "Aren't you going to ask me what I see?"

"Um, sure—What the hell?" Yukiko shrugged, "Where do you see yourself in ten years, Toshiro?"

Toshiro bit his lip, and took in a shrill breath. It was now or never, "I'm hoping you'll still be with me…"

"Yeah, sure! There's a lot of Europe to cover—It'll probably take at least ten years…" said Yukiko as she leaned her fedora over her eyes.

"No, I was hoping maybe we could be staying in New York by then, um… I'd like it if you'd consider that, at least…"

"You want me to move in with you?" asked Yukiko, "That'd be cool… I mean, we could stay at your old place, or find a two-bedroom apartment… Or maybe somethin' with a guestroom. Either way, we're getting walk-in closets."

"Yeah," Toshiro coughed, "Can I ask you something, in hopes you'll still like me afterwards?"

"This is like watching a train wreck—I want to look away, but I can't," said Lupin to Fujiko as both sat in a secret room, which looked into the living room, "Maybe I should give the kid pointers, hee hee hee…"

"You'll do no such thing! We just have to watch and see where this goes…" said Fujiko.

"Glad I wasn't this shy around you…"

"Hm, I would've liked it if you had been, sometimes," Fujiko snorted.

Meanwhile, back in the living room, Yukiko still awaited for Toshiro's awkward sentence to spill out while Toshiro tried to choke out what he was trying to say, "Sometimes I think…" Toshiro started, "Do you remember, when I called, and said I was staying in New York indefinitely?"

"Um… Somewhat…" replied Yukiko, "Listen, could you just spit it out? You're making yourself look like an idiot, okay? I'm your best friend, you can tell me. Hell, you told me about my mother, and I still like you—And you slept with that idiot, and I still like you. Trust me, you can say anything to me, and we'll still be friends."

"I…" Toshiro stood up, and turned away from her, "Dammit! This shouldn't be this hard! You've been my friend forever—I guess that's why it's so hard to say! I—I want you to be with me ten years from now, I want to be with you twenty years from now—Thirty, forty! I love it that you'll call me an idiot to my face! I love it that you don't let anything get you done, and you put on a tough shell like your dad, but you're really emotional inside!"

"Are you taking this out of When Harry Met Sally?" inquired Yukiko after a pause, "Or are you just getting weird off of my Midol again?"

"I'm being serious!" said Toshiro, seating himself next to her. His face had reddened, and he averted his eyes from her, and gulped, "I know you like to think you're 'one of the guys'—But you're not… I really, really like you—You're my best friend, and I can talk to you about anything…"

"Except this, apparently," said Yukiko with a heavy sigh.

"I want to know if you'll take this back again, but think of it as something else," said Toshiro, removing the ring she had given him and holding it out to her.

"Are you… Asking me to marry you?" Yukiko blinked.

"Y-Yeah… Pretty much," Toshiro nodded.

"Could you excuse me for a few moments?" she chuckled lightly, and rose from the couch and walked into the kitchen. She found a half-drunken bottle of wine in the refrigerator, and she seated herself in the kitchen. She pulled out her lighter and cigarettes, sat them next to the wine bottle, and pulled out her cell phone, "Hello, Dad?"

"Yukiko? What's up?" Jigen inquired with great worry, "You sound shaky…"

"Toshiro asked me to marry him, Dad," said Yukiko, taking a swig from the wine bottle and setting it down again, "I—I don't know what to do…"

"Yuki, that's terrific!" said Jigen happily, "You'll be the first one in generations of my side of the family to get married before thirty!"

"Dad, I didn't say yes!" snapped Yukiko as she removed a cigarette from her pack and lit it, "I don't want to say yes, honestly. I just don't know how to break it to him! I think he's really serious about this! Oh my God, he's such an idiot!"

"Why not, Yuki?"

"Dad, it'd be like Ally asking me to marry him! This is so screwed up!" Yukiko moaned.

Jigen paused a while, and then spoke, "You know what, I'll listen to you, but this is a decision you'll have to make on your own. If you're as good a with him as you say you are, you ought to have no problem letting him down—If that's really what you want to do."

"I—Dad?" Yukiko gulped, "I—Okay…" she said, "I'll go talk to him… Bye, I love you…"

"Same, here," said Jigen calmly, "Good luck."

"Yeah," Yukiko hung up the phone, slid off the chair, and walked out to Toshiro, who was rambling to himself.

"I'm such an idiot…" he grumbled, "Such a big, stupid, freakin' idiot!"

"Yeah, but that's beside the point," Yukiko said. Toshiro turned, and rose, "I… I thought it over, and… It's a great offer, Toshiro… But I don't think I'm ready yet… I-I mean, you're great, really! And maybe you'll meet a really awesome girl someday… But I don't think it'll be me."

"Yukiko…. I know I'm right—I know I'm making the right choice…" he said nervously, "I just don't know what you're afraid of…"

"Listen!" she spun around, "We work as friends, but nothing else! You want kids, I hate them! You take care of birds, I eat them in steak sauce! You hate me smoking, and I hate you singing in the shower at four in the morning and waking me up!"

"I hate your smoking and your poultry abuse, but I like you," Toshiro sighed.

"I like you, too. Just not in that way. I'm sorry," she shrugged.

Toshiro leaned inward, and drew closer and closer to her, and just as he was about to kiss her, he felt a strong blow to his head.

"You lousy son of a bitch!" Ally growled venomously, "How could you take advantage of my sister like that!? I ought to freakin' kill you! I've warned you enough already!"

"Visiting hours were over—I couldn't stop him," Fuji sputtered.

"Your sister's old enough to make her own decisions—I'm sick of having to worry about your scrawny scarecrow ass wanting to murder me in my sleep!" Toshiro shouted angrily.

"Scarecrow!?" Ally yelled. Jigen went to deliver a kick to Toshiro, but Toshiro caught his leg and sent him flying over the couch. Ally rose, and jumped off of the couch, and gave Toshiro a hard uppercut. Toshiro went to return the punch, but the two heard a gunshot, and stopped immediately. They both looked over at Yukiko, who still had her gun drawn.

"I'm going up to my room…" she said slowly, "You two, can come and see me, when you both learn to FREAKIN' GROW UP!!" she shrieked, and ran up to her room. The Lupin gang cringed as they heard a door slam, and watched as a picture frame fell off of the wall onto the floor, and crashed into numerous sparkling glass shards.

"I think they were less destructive when they were toddlers…" Lupin said to Fujiko as the two continued to sit in their secret room.

"This is almost like an ultra-sad soap opera!" Fujiko commented, "Like the ones you secretly watch, you know?"

"I watch that one because the blonde girl's pretty!" snapped Lupin, folding his arms together and looking onward defensively.

"Hey, who's that at the door?" Fujiko inquired as she looked upward at the camera and saw three figures at the door.

"Oh my God…. It's Ari and Max and—" Lupin started, but immediately stopped.

"Who's the girl?" inquired Fujiko.

"Fujicakes, you'd never believe me if I told you," replied Lupin, standing up, and turning on the volume.

"Lupin! You're under arrest!" Max shouted, pounding at the door.

"Oh, I see another train wreck in the distance, Fujicakes," sighed Lupin as he seated himself back in his chair and watched as Fuji walked towards the door, "Fujiko, would you mind getting me the phone? I need to talk to Jigen…."

"Sure," Fujiko nodded, and handed him a telephone nearby. Lupin dialed the number, and waited for Jigen to pick up.

"I must be pret-ty damn popular tonight…" Jigen mumbled, "What's up, Lupin?"

"Jigen, you remember Sachiko?" Lupin sighed.

"Of course I do!" Jigen growled, "How could I not!?"

"Well, she's here now…" Lupin said.

"What! Lupin, she's dead!" Jigen shouted.

"Jigen, I'm telling you, she's here, and she's alive… I'll explain it all to you, but you better sit down," said Lupin tiredly.

"Lupin! Open up!" Sharon shouted, pounding on the door and drawing her gun, "We have you surrounded!"

"It's her!" Odori whispered, drawing out her sword, "And I will defend Heiji's honor, for his sake…" she said quietly.