Falling Into The Toilet
Chapter 4: Such A difference
As much as I would like to pretend that the next few moments of my life are considered gallant and righteous, I'll admit I fell into my weak human imperfections and knocked the poor guy to the ground. At the time, though, I thought he really deserved it.
"Excuse me? Not worthy to marry you!? You never say that to a woman, most of all me!"
He got up from the ground slowly, rubbing his tender pink cheek. "What makes you so significant from the rest of the peasants milady?"
Unfortunately, I was at a loss for wit, and resulted to screaming complaints.
"HOW DARE YOU! You are filth. Hear me? Filth! Grief, I have never met such an incompetent man like you. At least the one-night standers had more tact. You couldn't marry me if you wanted to. Men suck, they all suck. They never know what to say and always say the wrong thing when they try. They end up using violence to get the point across!"
By this point I think I totally lost it, and had completely forgotten that the Count Deadlock guy was there.
"You would think that the first time you were knocked down to the ground, the guy would stop hitting you, because you would figure he knew you got the point, but he just keeps throwing punches. It's like this uncontrollable rage all men have! You men never learn."
Coming back to reality, and another round of salty tears, I plopped myself on the ground, which I had become accustomed to lately.
Finally, I remembered the guy was there. As I looked at him, I received a rather sympathetic philosophical look. I think that last part of my little fit had opened up a deep wound that I had thought healed in my heart, and yet, his pathetically sad look started searing at the scab.
"What? You gotta staring problem or something? Hey, stop that!"
He was probably trying to put on a deep and profound look of understanding on his face, but to me, he looked constipated. I erupted with laughter inside. Oh the things I think and don't say.
"Is that why you are so rude milady? Someone has been violent to you? Someone you love, perhaps? So you lock yourself up to people and diverge true emotions for anger and abusive speech?"
My face must have turned a gross mossy green. His accuracy had been dead on, nail on the head kind of thing, and I think I might have let him know that with my countenance.
I could never conceal my facial expressions, or my eyes, to a person. The "portholes to my soul" were so easily read and deciphered that I could have been an open window, begging for thieves to enter. But the open window was well protected by something much more dangerous than thieves: anger.
"Am I too bold to think that milady? Or am I accurate in my assumptions and you find that disconcerting?"
His cocky grin told me he knew the answer to the question. And that really pissed me off. Which was hard to imagine because I was already over-the- edge in fury.
With an inner sigh I got up off the dirt road and dusted the soil off that had gathered on my "oh so lovable" janitor uniform.
Anger had been everything that had gotten me through life, everything that kept me going. And I must admit that I really have relied on it too much lately.
Licking my lips at a considerably slow rate, it looked as if I was licking off melted chocolate from the corners of my mouth. It would be his lucky day if I were eating chocolate though, because it would have calmed me down, and of course, I wasn't eating anything of the sort.
His complete incompetence, me having a sucky day, and the urge to smoke gave me everything I needed to purge every ounce of tension from my fist to his nose, although, I hadn't done it yet.
I hadn't the slightest idea of what I was doing, but all I could see was a blurred bodily form in front of me, and I was acutely aware that I detested it.
I gathered up speed, preparing for a lunge, adjusting my right hand into a tight fist.
"Don't do it! Please! Don't do it. Don't hit him."
Those words didn't come from my mouth, and certainly not his, so then where? Wherever it came from, my brain clicked and decided to obey.
Unfortunately, I was still in motion, and couldn't stop my body from following through with the actions my brain gave it moments ago. I slugged the guy in the jaw, but just barely, and then the rest of my body became a slave to gravity and I fell to the ground.
I moaned like a dying horse. Who knew gravity was such a powerful boss these days.
"I have had enough abuse you sniveling witch. I'll have you hanged for this. Mark my words you filthy vermin! You are nothing but a wench looking for a meal, and here I was trying to do a good deed. My time here has been wasted."
I heard a wet sound echo through the air, and only when I felt the saliva on my neck did I understand where it came from.
"Uh! You jerk! You are the epitome of grossness!" I pulled my sleeve over my hand and started to wipe off the slime plastered on my neck.
It was only when he started to walk away that I felt my pride start to dissipate.
Without a word of warning, I swept my foot out and pulled hard on the counts feet and tripped him. He toppled over onto the ground in a heavy slump.
Pushing myself up, I stuck out my tongue in a two-year-old fashion, and waited for the guy to get up.
Only he didn't...............
I moved in closer and squatted next to his body. "Hey Deadlock? Hello!"
It was then that I started to get scared. I started to poke at his body and opened his eyelids, I lifted his limp arms, and still there was no reaction. Every symptom rang up as unconsciousness, so I figured I would just leave him there to recover.
Taking his horse wouldn't be such a bad idea either now that I think about it.
"You killed him?"
Quickly shifting my head towards the voice, a young girl appeared out of nowhere. The voice sounded a lot like the one before, telling me not to hit Deadlock.
"Naw, he's unconscious is all."
"Pardon?"
"He is asleep." It was a little girl that couldn't have been more than 6, with beautiful golden blonde hair coiling in tight curls hanging around her face and bright green eyes to match her hair bow and dress.
"Oh."
"What's your name?"
"Miss Anumi Hika. May I inquire what your name is?"
"Huh? Oh yeah. Kagome. Kagome Higurashi. Nice to meet you."
"That's a funny name." Suddenly, she gasped and raised her hand to her mouth. "Forgive me milady, I was quite rude. It is truly a lovely name."
"Hey chick, cool it. I'm all right with it. It's a funny name. Hey now, I'm a casual girl, there isn't any need to be proper around me."
She tilted her head to the side with a look of either awe or confusion. I was considering both to be a possibility.
"Er, let me see. I am not royalty little miss. I have no etiquette or manners."
"I know. I saw the way you spoke to Monsieur DeLuke. Quite revolting if you ask me."
"Did I?"
"No." She looked down embarrassed, and found her shuffling feet quite amusing.
"Hey hey, wanna play a game or something?"
Her eyes brightened at the request.
"Oh, yes please." She curtsied and then turned around towards the road. "This way. It's this way to my home."
"What about this Deadlock guy here?"
"Monsieur DeLuke? He will be fine. Besides, you better make off with yourself before he arouses. After the incident that occurred between you and him, he will surely have your head.
"Will see about that."
She lifted her head and smiled at me. "I like you."
I smiled back, but I said nothing and just nodded. I didn't form an opinion of her quite yet, and I didn't really want to tie myself to this world in anyway.
"Hey, what year is it?"
"1668. Didn't you know?"
"Perhaps I did. I wanted to see if you knew."
"Oh." Again she turned and skipped down the road. I followed, completely unaware of the nightmare that lay ahead.
We reached the part of the road where the incline started to increase, and soon, we started walking up this steep hill. My legs were crying out too, but I had yet to complain. Exercise was good, and I had convinced myself of that since, well since now.
"Are you all right?"
"Can't complain."
"Why not?"
"Huh? No, it's a saying, meaning that I am doing o.k."
"Um."
"I'm fine."
"Oh." She turned again and faced the road ahead. If she was in as much pain as I was, then she sure hid it well."
We walked several minutes in complete silence until it was thick enough to cut with a knife. Seeing the need for conversation, the little miss started to talk.
"Why are you wearing that funny outfit?"
"It's my work clothes."
"Are you a gravedigger?"
"A what? Gravedigger? Heck no! Dead bodies, ew."
"Well, I'm a peasant, I have seen all clothing styles except the ones that gravediggers wear, because I never see them. I'm not allowed to talk to them either. Even peasants have a higher status than gravediggers."
I nodded my head in agreement. So, there really were status differences back then.
What scared me the most about this whole situation was the fact that I was accepting it with utmost mentality. Most people probably would be freaking out, believing that it's a dream or something, but I have felt way too much pain for it to be a dream. It almost feels like a page out of the book of "A kid in King Author's court".
We had finally reached the top of the hill, she having reached it first let out a scream of alarm that would have broken a window, had one been around to be broken. I raced up to see what she was so freaked out about.
All I could do was stare. There was no scream or gasp as a result of the scene from me.
"What happened Anumi?"
"That's the prince! The carriage looks as if it hit the big boulder down there. You see it?"
Sure enough, the crashed vehicle was lying near a huge boulder in the middle of the road. No matter how shocked I could have been in this situation, and how moved I would have been with pity to run and help, I remained motionless. The carriage was none other than the King's carriage that assaulted me before. I was in no mood to help these pitiful creatures.
"Milady! Come here with me please. We must assist them!"
"Psh, in their dreams sister."
"Um, so are you coming?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Dunno. I don't want to maybe?"
"Well, the prince may not be the nicest guy in the world, but we'll get hanged for not helping if they spot us and search for us later."
"What is it with you people and hanging? Good grief what a time period I been put in."
All I got was a raised eyebrow and an emotionless expression from the girl.
"Alright! I'll go, I'll go!"
She seemed pleased. Not that I cared much. I love kids, don't get me wrong. I love them to death. But I had more of an idea of how to help Princy in my own way:
Namely, a baseball and a bat.
Chapter 4: Such A difference
As much as I would like to pretend that the next few moments of my life are considered gallant and righteous, I'll admit I fell into my weak human imperfections and knocked the poor guy to the ground. At the time, though, I thought he really deserved it.
"Excuse me? Not worthy to marry you!? You never say that to a woman, most of all me!"
He got up from the ground slowly, rubbing his tender pink cheek. "What makes you so significant from the rest of the peasants milady?"
Unfortunately, I was at a loss for wit, and resulted to screaming complaints.
"HOW DARE YOU! You are filth. Hear me? Filth! Grief, I have never met such an incompetent man like you. At least the one-night standers had more tact. You couldn't marry me if you wanted to. Men suck, they all suck. They never know what to say and always say the wrong thing when they try. They end up using violence to get the point across!"
By this point I think I totally lost it, and had completely forgotten that the Count Deadlock guy was there.
"You would think that the first time you were knocked down to the ground, the guy would stop hitting you, because you would figure he knew you got the point, but he just keeps throwing punches. It's like this uncontrollable rage all men have! You men never learn."
Coming back to reality, and another round of salty tears, I plopped myself on the ground, which I had become accustomed to lately.
Finally, I remembered the guy was there. As I looked at him, I received a rather sympathetic philosophical look. I think that last part of my little fit had opened up a deep wound that I had thought healed in my heart, and yet, his pathetically sad look started searing at the scab.
"What? You gotta staring problem or something? Hey, stop that!"
He was probably trying to put on a deep and profound look of understanding on his face, but to me, he looked constipated. I erupted with laughter inside. Oh the things I think and don't say.
"Is that why you are so rude milady? Someone has been violent to you? Someone you love, perhaps? So you lock yourself up to people and diverge true emotions for anger and abusive speech?"
My face must have turned a gross mossy green. His accuracy had been dead on, nail on the head kind of thing, and I think I might have let him know that with my countenance.
I could never conceal my facial expressions, or my eyes, to a person. The "portholes to my soul" were so easily read and deciphered that I could have been an open window, begging for thieves to enter. But the open window was well protected by something much more dangerous than thieves: anger.
"Am I too bold to think that milady? Or am I accurate in my assumptions and you find that disconcerting?"
His cocky grin told me he knew the answer to the question. And that really pissed me off. Which was hard to imagine because I was already over-the- edge in fury.
With an inner sigh I got up off the dirt road and dusted the soil off that had gathered on my "oh so lovable" janitor uniform.
Anger had been everything that had gotten me through life, everything that kept me going. And I must admit that I really have relied on it too much lately.
Licking my lips at a considerably slow rate, it looked as if I was licking off melted chocolate from the corners of my mouth. It would be his lucky day if I were eating chocolate though, because it would have calmed me down, and of course, I wasn't eating anything of the sort.
His complete incompetence, me having a sucky day, and the urge to smoke gave me everything I needed to purge every ounce of tension from my fist to his nose, although, I hadn't done it yet.
I hadn't the slightest idea of what I was doing, but all I could see was a blurred bodily form in front of me, and I was acutely aware that I detested it.
I gathered up speed, preparing for a lunge, adjusting my right hand into a tight fist.
"Don't do it! Please! Don't do it. Don't hit him."
Those words didn't come from my mouth, and certainly not his, so then where? Wherever it came from, my brain clicked and decided to obey.
Unfortunately, I was still in motion, and couldn't stop my body from following through with the actions my brain gave it moments ago. I slugged the guy in the jaw, but just barely, and then the rest of my body became a slave to gravity and I fell to the ground.
I moaned like a dying horse. Who knew gravity was such a powerful boss these days.
"I have had enough abuse you sniveling witch. I'll have you hanged for this. Mark my words you filthy vermin! You are nothing but a wench looking for a meal, and here I was trying to do a good deed. My time here has been wasted."
I heard a wet sound echo through the air, and only when I felt the saliva on my neck did I understand where it came from.
"Uh! You jerk! You are the epitome of grossness!" I pulled my sleeve over my hand and started to wipe off the slime plastered on my neck.
It was only when he started to walk away that I felt my pride start to dissipate.
Without a word of warning, I swept my foot out and pulled hard on the counts feet and tripped him. He toppled over onto the ground in a heavy slump.
Pushing myself up, I stuck out my tongue in a two-year-old fashion, and waited for the guy to get up.
Only he didn't...............
I moved in closer and squatted next to his body. "Hey Deadlock? Hello!"
It was then that I started to get scared. I started to poke at his body and opened his eyelids, I lifted his limp arms, and still there was no reaction. Every symptom rang up as unconsciousness, so I figured I would just leave him there to recover.
Taking his horse wouldn't be such a bad idea either now that I think about it.
"You killed him?"
Quickly shifting my head towards the voice, a young girl appeared out of nowhere. The voice sounded a lot like the one before, telling me not to hit Deadlock.
"Naw, he's unconscious is all."
"Pardon?"
"He is asleep." It was a little girl that couldn't have been more than 6, with beautiful golden blonde hair coiling in tight curls hanging around her face and bright green eyes to match her hair bow and dress.
"Oh."
"What's your name?"
"Miss Anumi Hika. May I inquire what your name is?"
"Huh? Oh yeah. Kagome. Kagome Higurashi. Nice to meet you."
"That's a funny name." Suddenly, she gasped and raised her hand to her mouth. "Forgive me milady, I was quite rude. It is truly a lovely name."
"Hey chick, cool it. I'm all right with it. It's a funny name. Hey now, I'm a casual girl, there isn't any need to be proper around me."
She tilted her head to the side with a look of either awe or confusion. I was considering both to be a possibility.
"Er, let me see. I am not royalty little miss. I have no etiquette or manners."
"I know. I saw the way you spoke to Monsieur DeLuke. Quite revolting if you ask me."
"Did I?"
"No." She looked down embarrassed, and found her shuffling feet quite amusing.
"Hey hey, wanna play a game or something?"
Her eyes brightened at the request.
"Oh, yes please." She curtsied and then turned around towards the road. "This way. It's this way to my home."
"What about this Deadlock guy here?"
"Monsieur DeLuke? He will be fine. Besides, you better make off with yourself before he arouses. After the incident that occurred between you and him, he will surely have your head.
"Will see about that."
She lifted her head and smiled at me. "I like you."
I smiled back, but I said nothing and just nodded. I didn't form an opinion of her quite yet, and I didn't really want to tie myself to this world in anyway.
"Hey, what year is it?"
"1668. Didn't you know?"
"Perhaps I did. I wanted to see if you knew."
"Oh." Again she turned and skipped down the road. I followed, completely unaware of the nightmare that lay ahead.
We reached the part of the road where the incline started to increase, and soon, we started walking up this steep hill. My legs were crying out too, but I had yet to complain. Exercise was good, and I had convinced myself of that since, well since now.
"Are you all right?"
"Can't complain."
"Why not?"
"Huh? No, it's a saying, meaning that I am doing o.k."
"Um."
"I'm fine."
"Oh." She turned again and faced the road ahead. If she was in as much pain as I was, then she sure hid it well."
We walked several minutes in complete silence until it was thick enough to cut with a knife. Seeing the need for conversation, the little miss started to talk.
"Why are you wearing that funny outfit?"
"It's my work clothes."
"Are you a gravedigger?"
"A what? Gravedigger? Heck no! Dead bodies, ew."
"Well, I'm a peasant, I have seen all clothing styles except the ones that gravediggers wear, because I never see them. I'm not allowed to talk to them either. Even peasants have a higher status than gravediggers."
I nodded my head in agreement. So, there really were status differences back then.
What scared me the most about this whole situation was the fact that I was accepting it with utmost mentality. Most people probably would be freaking out, believing that it's a dream or something, but I have felt way too much pain for it to be a dream. It almost feels like a page out of the book of "A kid in King Author's court".
We had finally reached the top of the hill, she having reached it first let out a scream of alarm that would have broken a window, had one been around to be broken. I raced up to see what she was so freaked out about.
All I could do was stare. There was no scream or gasp as a result of the scene from me.
"What happened Anumi?"
"That's the prince! The carriage looks as if it hit the big boulder down there. You see it?"
Sure enough, the crashed vehicle was lying near a huge boulder in the middle of the road. No matter how shocked I could have been in this situation, and how moved I would have been with pity to run and help, I remained motionless. The carriage was none other than the King's carriage that assaulted me before. I was in no mood to help these pitiful creatures.
"Milady! Come here with me please. We must assist them!"
"Psh, in their dreams sister."
"Um, so are you coming?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Dunno. I don't want to maybe?"
"Well, the prince may not be the nicest guy in the world, but we'll get hanged for not helping if they spot us and search for us later."
"What is it with you people and hanging? Good grief what a time period I been put in."
All I got was a raised eyebrow and an emotionless expression from the girl.
"Alright! I'll go, I'll go!"
She seemed pleased. Not that I cared much. I love kids, don't get me wrong. I love them to death. But I had more of an idea of how to help Princy in my own way:
Namely, a baseball and a bat.