Authors note: whoever left me an anonymous review about vampires not breathing, concerning a line in chapter four, you might want to get on to Joss as well seeing as in the show Spike and Angel seem to pant sometimes and do other things that resemble breathing! Of course I know vampires don't have to breathe, seeing as they don't need oxygen to live but my take on it is they still automatically take air into their lungs and breathe it out again because it an automated process left over from their human days. Sorry everyone that's the end of my rant. Hope everyone enjoys this chapter. I do appreciate all your feedback and comments. Thank you to the lovely person who was offering me chocolate and coffee! This one's for you!

Chapter 6 – Mistakes

Spike waited as Buffy looked pensive and avoided to make eye contact with him.

"I really don't know Spike, I mean when I think about it logically we don't work, we will never work, you're a soulless vampire –"

"I thought we'd got past all that." Spike said biting back his anger as she brought up the subject of him not having a soul again.

"You're still undead! And if anything ever happened between us no one would understand…" then she said quietly almost to herself. "I can't imagine what they'd think of me."

"Right! Here we go again, you know I'm sensing a pattern with our conversations all of a sudden, just say it! You don't want to be with me because your friends wouldn't like it!"

Spike had gotten up now and was pacing out of the ride, Buffy followed him out into the cold chill of the night air.

"That's not it! I just don't see how we could have anything normal and healthy."

"We're not normal people Buffy and by healthy you just mean safe and to me safe is boring, don't you want the excitement, the passion?"

"You can get excitement and passion from a one-night stand Spike!"

"And that's all I am, a one-night stand?"

"No, that's not what I meant, you're confusing me!"

"O.k. I'll make it simple. What do you want, right now?"

"I want to stop arguing!" Buffy practically screamed.

"Oh, so that we can kiss again and then you can pretend it didn't happen the next day!"

"I told you I was sorry about that before!"

"Yeah, you also told me we should just be friends and then you turn around a second later and kiss me again." Spike decided to try and stop their never ending banter and be more sincere. "I just wish you would give me a straight answer for once Buffy, or at least tell me anything truthful about what you're feeling."

"Look Spike, this is all really hard for me, for pass few months I've just been feeling dead inside and you've been the only person I can talk to and then when we kissed I… I…." Spike stayed silent waiting for Buffy to find the right words and finish. "This is all so easy for you! You know how you feel about me, I just…" Buffy sighed. She couldn't keep going through this, she really needed to sort her head out and with Spike expecting something from her she just couldn't, she knew she wanted him, in the thrown me down on a bed and have your wicked way with me wanted him though, and wasn't that wrong to want someone like Spike so badly in that way? Her mind was racing through so many different thoughts. "I don't think I can do this."

"Fine." Spike wasn't looking at her, he had his head facing the ground, when he looked up again Buffy noticed he seemed to have a new kind of resolve on his face, he looked at lot different and it scared her. "Let's not ever do this again, I'm tired of it. You know, I thought I would always follow you Slayer, till the end of the world, but I think I should just let it go." He spoke with no emotion and Buffy thought she could feel her heart breaking, why was this so painful? He started to walk toward the car and then turned around back to her.

"Do you want a lift back to your place?" Buffy was numb, still taking in what he had said before.

"Err… No, I'm fine, I'll walk back." She needed to clear her head anyway.

"Alright, bye." And he was gone.

By the time Buffy got home it was late, early in fact, almost 3 a.m. She hoped nobody was worried about her and that Dawn was o.k. She quietly unlocked the front door and went inside. She heard the noise of the TV and looked into the lounge to see Dawn curled up on the sofa, as she walked up to her Dawn opened her eyes.

"Buffy, you're home!" she said in a loud whisper, pleased to see her sister.

"Yeah." Buffy replied softly. "You didn't wait up for me did you?"

"Well, I couldn't really sleep anyway and we were all worried about you after you left the Magic Box, what have you been doing all day?"

Kissing and arguing with Spike for most of it.

"Nothing much, just needed some time alone, I'm sorry if I worried you, is everyone o.k.?"

"Yeah, I think so, although after you left this morning, Spike did yell at everyone."

"He yelled?" Buffy asked surprised, a little worried about what he said and slightly pleased.

"Yeah, just about how none of us have been helping you and I'm really sorry Buffy, I don't know why I didn't see that you weren't o.k., I was just so happy to have you back and–" Buffy cut her off as she could she was getting upset.

"Dawn, it's alright, you haven't done anything wrong, o.k.?" Buffy tucked a stray bit Dawn's hair behind her ear. "I love you."

Dawn became more composed and was now smiling. "Well, Spike's outburst did have one good outcome, after he left we all decided we're going to be great friends to each other from now on and make sure we all give each other support when we need it!"

"That sounds good and also very corny." Buffy was surprised that anyone would have actually listened to Spike, let alone possibly taken his advice. "So, are Willow and Tara asleep?" Buffy asked wondering if she was going to have to be very quiet going to bed.

"Um… there's something you should know." Dawn then explained everything to Buffy that Tara had told her.

"Oh my God, I had no idea. Poor Tara."

"I know, Willow's a mess too, hence a great time to test our friendship plan!" Dawn said with as much optimism as she could.

"I might go see if Will's o.k."

"Yeah, if she's awake she liked to know you're back, she was looking for you everywhere earlier."

"O.k. Goodnight Dawn." Buffy made her way up the stairs and then stopped in front of Willow's and Tara's room. She pushed the door slightly ajar so that she could look inside to see if Willow was asleep. Willow was sitting up in bed and had her side lamp on, she was staring straight forward like she was in some kind of trance. Buffy pushed the door a little more open and said Willow's name to get her attention. Willow turned to look at her and Buffy could see she had been crying.

"Oh Buffy, you're home, when did you get in?" Willow said trying to put on a front and sound like her normal chirpy self.

"Not long ago." Buffy said walking over to the bed and sitting down next to Willow. "Dawn told me about Tara, I'm so sorry, can I do anything to make it better?"

"No, I messed it up, no one can do anything apart from me, but thanks." Tears started to form in her eyes, but she tried to hold them back. Buffy pulled her into her arms to hug her.

"Don't worry Will, I know things are going to start looking up soon." She said with as much conviction as possible.

"How do you know?" Willow mumbled. Buffy pulled back from her to look her in the eye.

"Because they have to."

Spike was pacing his crypt, shouting at himself.

"What the hell were you thinking you idiot! Did you see the look on her face! And now she'll never talk to you again and probably hates you! I can't believe I even did that." He slumped down in his armchair. She just makes me so angry he thought as he clenched his fists. "And now I'll end up bloody apologising to her cause that's what I always do!" he paused thinking about it. "Well, actually I've never really apologised to her, not for a while anyway. She's got me wrapped around her little finger anyway, even if she doesn't know it." The problem was, as he sat and contemplated this, I love her, and I'll never stop loving her even if she shoved a stake in my heart, I'd die loving her.

So now he just had to think of a way to fix things.

The next evening Buffy was sitting on the sofa at home, flicking through various channels on the television and trying not to think about Spike, which was hard seeing as every channel she flicked onto seemed to have something to remind her about him. Dawn then came running down the stairs excited.

"Hey Buffy, we're all going to the Bronze wanna come?"

"Who's 'we'?"

"You know… me, Willow, Xander and Anya. Willow's still kinda a wreck so we thought we would go out and cheer her up! So, are you going to come?"

"I don't know Dawn, I'm kind of tired." Yeah tired from moping around all day.

"Ahh… come on Buffy, I really want you to come." Dawn said trying to convince her sister.

"I'm sorry Dawn I just don't feel like it right now."

Just then the doorbell rang, saving Buffy from Dawn's pleas.

"That's probably Xander to pick us up, he's going to be really disappointed you're not coming." Dawn said going to answer to door.

"Hey guys!" Xander said stepping inside with Anya close behind him. "What's up?"

"Buffy's not coming."

"What! Come on Buffster you gotta come, I won't be the same without you there, we wanted to have the whole gang together again." Xander had been set on Buffy coming, it was all part of their plan to help Buffy through whatever pain she was feeling and get back to normal.

"Please come Buffy, please, please, please-" Dawn whined

"O.k. o.k. God, you two should be professional persuaders!"

"Yes!" Dawn exclaimed with delight.

"Just give a minute to get ready." Buffy said running up the stairs.

The Bronze was about half full and they found a table easily, Xander was right, it was actually nice to have the whole gang together again, shame about Tara though, still with there only being one couple Buffy did feel less left out and Dawn and her were actually starting to bond again, she should really start taking Dawn out with her more, she wasn't as annoying as she used to be! The only thing that would make this evening better is if she could stop thinking about Spike. She hated the way things had ended last night because even before the kissing she was actually starting to really like Spike, and now she didn't know if he'd ever talk to her again and if anything could be salvaged from the relationship they had. Did she just say relationship? Dear god, this was getting bad! O.k. she thought, trying to consider things more honestly, what if this is some kind of relationship, is that a bad thing or would you actually like to have a relationship with Spike? The answer that popped into her head shocked her! And then she missed him even more.

They all continue chatting about films, music, what guys and girls they thought were cute, Xander's up and coming job in construction and Buffy tried to put Spike to the back of her mind but then Dawn had to bring up him as a subject and Buffy reconsidered her thoughts about her not being annoying.

"So… Buffy, I know yesterday at the Magic Box wasn't fun for any of us, but you and Spike looked pretty close, anything you wanna tell us?" Dawn said in a teasing way.

"What?" Buffy asked taken aback. Of course she knew they had all seen them yesterday, but she didn't expect to get any questions about it, before everyone just ignored what happened between her and Spike. She guessed they were taking this great friendship idea really seriously, which was good apart form she was going to have to start telling the truth for it to work both ways. Before Dawn could jump in again to press her for more information, Buffy heard a familiar voice.

"Can I have this dance?"

TBC…

Authors note: I'll try and get the next chapter out as fast as possible but I've got a lot of work on right now and some mock exams, so be patient.