Authors' note: Thank you to all the lovely people who reviewed, sorry again that I couldn't get this out any sooner, I was away for about five days and that delayed everything…but it's quite a long chapter!!

Chapter 12 – The dark and lighter sides of life

Willow had got home in the early hours of morning and collapsed into bed, whatever that Rack guy had done to her it had been intense, when she woke later in the day she could still feel the power Rack had given her surging through her body. She stepped into the shower and let the warm water beat down onto her, she wanted more, to feel that strength and electricity running through her, it had been the most immense high she had ever experienced. She placed her hands on the wall of shower to support herself the memories of last night becoming overwhelming in her mind. Willow was intoxicated by the magic, she began to breathe deeply taking in more oxygen trying to calm herself but it didn't help, the only thing that would help her now was to feel that same rush, more of that incredible energy.

She needed more.

Buffy woke up to the feel of a lean muscled body beneath her, Spike's body, she thought dreamily. She remembered how they had got back to her house last night, greeted Dawn with smiles and returned some unexpected hugs because she was so pleased to see them happily back together, and then they'd made their way up to her room and collapsed onto her bed. A day of making love, arguing and making up again had really taken it out of both of them and they hardly had the energy to strip off any of their clothes before curling up and falling asleep in each others arms. Buffy hadn't even had time to think about how strange it was to have Spike in her room last night…her innocent child like room that still had a small 'New Kids on the Block' poster in the corner, a bed that had never really seen any sexual action, Riley had only stayed over a few times and Buffy had not wanted to do anything serious then afraid her mum or Dawn might hear. But now lying on her bed with its cotton flowery sheets was Spike, his arms tightly wrapped around her making Buffy feel like the safest person in the world, the illusion of her pure child like room is shattered and it makes Buffy smile, she knows that she's not a child anymore…not even a teenager. She had been trying desperately to cling onto her old life but now she realised that she didn't need to, she had a great new one and although it may be one where she had to pay bills and worry about the mortgage, it was also one where she had Spike.

Buffy lifted her head slightly watching Spike's face as he slept, she decided the second time waking up to him was even better than the first and she couldn't wait to do it over and over again. She felt him stir underneath her and she began to move off him so she could go have a shower but two strong arms stopped her.

"Where you going?" he said seductively and Buffy felt the vibrations through his chest as he spoke.

"Just thought I would go freshen up." She said smiling as he ran his hands across her lower back then down her thighs and finally decided to rest them on her hips playing with the edge of her panties. Spike obviously had other ideas.

"You're not going anywhere luv." He said now fully conscious tugging at her so that they were face to face and kissed her hard.

"Hmm…don't, I have morning breath." She said making a pathetic attempt to pull away from him.

"I don't care." Spike said as he kissed her even harder and then opened his mouth slightly letting their tongues battle. Buffy moaned gently and then let out a yelp of surprise as Spike flipped her over growling as he did so and looked down at her intently, pure lust in his eyes. His hands went back to playing with her underwear, slowly trying to ease it off her body. Buffy had her arms around his back trying to pull him closer to her, reaching for any flesh she could find just desperate to touch him. Soon they were both naked and one of Spike's hands was caressing Buffy's hip as the other one stroked the side of her breast. His tender fingers played with her supple flesh rousing moans and gasps from Buffy. Spike moved his hand on her hip very slowly to Buffy's inner thigh lightly touching every piece of skin on the way leaving a trail goose pimples and Buffy begging him to touch her even more intimately. He ran a finger between her folds and simultaneously stroked her clit causing Buffy to let out a loud moan, she arched upwards towards him at the same time as trying to force him down onto her by placing her hands on his butt, but Spike held her firmly in place and kept teasing her for a little bit longer.

"Spike…" Buffy begged.

"Something you want pet?" Spike said fighting to keep control himself as Buffy's hand reached down to stroke him.

"You." She said simply. And with that Spike couldn't hold out any longer and slipped inside her causing them both to let out a satisfied sigh. They began moving slowly together but soon that pace increased until it was frantic and desperate both searching for their release. Buffy came first, muffling her cries into Spike's shoulder, he soon followed her and then collapsed half on top of Buffy as he tried not to crush her. She clung to his body when he shifted slightly to move off her, wrapping her leg round his and he looked at her silently questioning.

"Want you to stay right here." She mumbled glancing up at him with love in her eyes. Spike smiled and leant down to kiss her and then laid his head on her shoulder enjoying the few more moments they had joined together until they got up to face the day.

Tara watched as Dawn took a long suck on her straw collecting as much milkshake as possible.

"Wow, that's a lot of shake!" She said, enjoying her day out with Dawn, they hadn't spent any time together since she had moved out and now this was a moment of blissful normality.

"Yep!" Dawn said smiling. Tara noticed how unusually happy Dawn was today, Imean Dawn was always relatively happy – she had been pretty upset over her break up with Willow and perhaps now she was just really glad to see her Tara thought. But there was something else, a twinkle in her eye, she wondered if maybe Dawn had met someone.

"Dawn, what's going on? You're extremely perky today." Tara decided to question her suspicions.

"Oh my god, of course you don't know." Dawn said suddenly remembering Tara hadn't been present that night at the Bronze and pang of pain shot through her as she thought that Tara may not be part of the gang again. Dawn then paused in excitement, putting those thoughts to back of her mind, because she was going to tell Tara the great news.

"Buffy and Spike are together!" She let on in a burst of joy.

"Together? As in together together!?" Tara said quite shocked. Dawn nodded vigorously. "Wow, that's…um…I mean…does she love him?"

"Yep! And they're so happy…well apart from a big fight they had last night, but they made up and now everything's great!"

"When did this happen?" Tara asked, wondering if she was starting to be left out of the loop already.

"Well I don't know exactly, but we only found out about them the night before last."

"Well that's… really good, B-Buffy deservers to be happy." Tara was genuinely pleased that Buffy had found someone but the new found love just made her think of Willow, she knew she had done the right thing by breaking up with her. She just couldn't stay as long as Willow thought that magic was o.k. to be used the way she used it, like a quick fix for every problem that doesn't have any consequences.

"Oh my god, I shouldn't-" Dawn said realising how hard it must be to here about someone else's new relationship when yours had just fallen apart. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine Dawnie and you don't need to stop talking about Buffy and Spike."

"O.k.… I know that Willow misses you, and I think she's doing better…with the magic." Dawn hoped that if Tara thought Willow was turning things around then she would come back and they could make up.

"Well that's good… that's great for her."

Willow's legs moved quickly as night fell, she moved through the streets and alleys feeling for Rack's place. She knew she was very close now, the magic made the hair on her arm prickle. She walked through the invisible door and disappeared from the view of any on lookers. All she had been thinking about the entire day was feeling that amazing buzz and now the anticipation almost chocked her, she went straight into Rack's room not bothering to wait her turn.

"Strawberries," Rack said as she entered the room. "I knew you'd come back." A snide smile formed on his face.

Buffy and Spike sat on the sofa, because of Spike's sun allergy they had both spent the day together at Buffy's house trying to entertain themselves by attempting to do more research on the frozen guy and discussing what job Buffy could get. The later took a lot more thinking.

"What do you mean you won't let me?" Buffy said incredulously.

"You're not working at some fast food joint!" Spike said; however much he loved arguing with his slayer he was slightly concerned over the fact that they'd got into another argument so soon.

"Why exactly can't I work there?"

"Cause you're too good for that." He said dejectedly as he slumped down on the sofa. Buffy softened realising that they were only having this argument because Spike cared about her, loved her! She never thought she would be so happy about that fact, when she first found out he loved her only about a year ago she had been disgusted and now she'd fallen in love with him… things really do change quickly.

A short silence passed and Spike was looking down at his fingernails with great interest Buffy noted as she sat down next to him.

"Well... what do you think I should do then?" She said softly. He looked up at her then glad they had stopped shouting at each other.

"I don't know pet, shouldn't the council of wankers be paying you for slaying or something." He said running out of options in the job department.

"Well seeing as I don't really work for them anymore, no, and they never paid me anything anyway so I don't think they'd be up for handouts."

"There's got be something you're qualified for." Spike said

"That's the problem, there's nothing, except beating stuff up and don't think there's much of a call for that." Buffy said trying to make her usual jokes to lighten the situation.

"What are you talking about? This is Sunnydale, there's always a call for beating stuff up!" Spike said half seriously but mainly playing along with Buffy's sarcasm. "You could hire yourself out as a bounty hunter! Or do your slaying as an attraction…pull in some crowds to watch and learn!" Spike said smiling; joking around with jobs was a lot more fun than thinking seriously about them.

"Don't be so silly that's……" Buffy trailed off as suddenly her mind constructed an excellent thought. "…actually a really good idea!"

"What's that? You're going to be a bounty hunter?" Spike said incredulously.

"No… no of course not…I'm going to teach people to fight!" She said excitedly.

"What?"

"I can teach self-defence! I could ask if they need anyone at the school or set up my own class!" Buffy said elated that she had thought of something, and then she looked pensive as she thought her plan through. "…of course I don't know how much money that's going to bring in and if I have to set up my own self-defence class then it's going to be a while before I actually get any cash in my hand so I'm going to have to get a job that gives me money straight away until then……oh I know, what about the espresso pump, that's not as bad a flipping burgers and plus I'll finally learn how to make a cup of coffee!"

Spike watched amused as Buffy rambled on about her new career. Buffy stopped talking as she noticed the way Spike was looking at her.

"What? You think it's a stupid idea don't you?" she said.

"No, it's a bloody brilliant idea luv." He said as he moved his hand to cup her cheek and gently caressed her face with his thumb. They both leant forward slowly until their lips touched in a gentle kiss.

The rest of the afternoon they spent wrapped around each other on the sofa watching some awful soaps that Spike seemed very hooked on and that's where Dawn found them when she came bounding down the stairs in the evening.

"Hey guys! So are we going to the cinema then?" She said; they had all agreed to go earlier in the day when Dawn had got back from her day with Tara. Dawn was so happy to be actually spending time with Buffy; she thought she would have to ask Willow to go with her because Buffy usually always had something else she would have to do. But now Buffy was so much happier that she was with Spike she was actually talking to her sister again and Dawn felt contented with her life for the first time in forever.

"Definitely Dawnie, let me just get my coat." Buffy said as she got up out of Spike's arms.

"I hope you're not taking me to some chick flick." Spike said with distaste.

"Oh come on Spike there's this really cool looking romantic comedy I want to see." Dawn said looking at him with pleading eyes.

"Plus you watch Dawson's Creek, which means I'm sure you'll like whatever Dawn has picked to see." Buffy said earning a glare from Spike because she was teasing him about his taste in television shows.

They all walked outside into the dim early evening light, the sun safely below the horizon but the sky not yet blacked out and twinkling with stars. Buffy put her arm around Spike's waist hoping he wouldn't hold a grudge because of her joking remark and was pleased when his arm slipped around her, although not so pleased when he moved his hand down and gave her arse a fondle without warning causing her to gasp and Dawn to turn round giving them both very suspicious looks. Spike just chuckled as they strolled into the night thinking he'd finally gone to heaven.

Willow was flying, it was like the whole world surrounded her and she could do anything as Rack flowed more magic through her system. Images flashed around her, colours, patterns, a temple, a demon… it was coming towards her, she'd seen it the night before as well, she wasn't going to scream this time though but the closer it came to her the more real it felt. She tried to push away from it but found she couldn't move, adrenaline rushed through her blood and she felt even higher than before, she shut her eyes but she could still see everything. Suddenly she found herself on the floor of Racks room and felt a numb pain through her body, she realised she must have just fallen from the ceiling; the pain didn't bother her though, not when she was still buzzing from her trip.

She left Rack's place walking out into the chill of the night air her eyes still dark from the power streaming through her. She giddily wandered through the alleys not really caring where she was going completely drunk on magic. Then a noise from behind Willow startled her and she leapt round suddenly feeling a lot more on edge, a shadow seemed to be following her, a very large shadow. She began walking at a slight quicker pace, looking over her shoulder every now and again, then the shadow was in front of her but now she could see what it really was, the demon, the one in her hallucination, which meant it wasn't real. She giggled despite the faint fear she felt inside herself.

"You're not real." She said still jolly to the huge demon that stood a foot or so away from her. Suddenly the demon moved its' colossal arm hitting Willow's body with full force and throwing her a good ten metres before she landed against some rubbish bins, her fragile body connecting with the metal creating a harsh clash.

"O.k. so you are real." She said hoarsely attempting to move while feeling like every bone in her body was broken. She stumbled back to her feet and turned around beginning to limply run away from the demon. She could hear it moving slowly behind her but it was also catching up, with her injuries Willow couldn't move fast and her world was spinning almost as if she were back on the ceiling of Rack's room although this was much more frightening. She felt a large hand on her shoulder and was thrown backwards as the demon got a grip on her. She lay on the ground cradling her arm that had just hit the hard concrete, the demon towered over her and the realisation that she might very well die right now gripped her mind. She focused her magic with all the strength left in her, bringing her hands out they crackled with power and her eyes turned black, the demon she had created disintegrated in front of her and she gasped in relief.

Willow managed to make her way home slowly limping and holding her arm which she suspected may be broken although she couldn't face walking into hospital now. She collapsed onto the sofa in the lounge not able to walk a step further; the house was quiet, peaceful and she began to doze until a different kind of fear took hold of her as she realised that she would have to tell Buffy about what had happened when she got home. No one really knew how serious the magic had gotten but now they all would. She decided then and there that all the magic would have to stop because otherwise she could never stop, tonight she had nearly died because of her addiction, and she had already lost the love of her life. Tonight was the new beginning to the rest of her life and she wasn't going to waste it.

TBC…