Authors' note: Thanks to The lunatic who cares, Descendant of Doom, Amandamanda3, Kirsten. Really sorry again that you've had to wait a bit for this chapter, but I've been working loads recently and seemed to have no time for anything else. I also thought I'd let you know that this story will definitely be finished by Christmas because after then I'm leaving to go travelling for four months around the world and it'll be a lot harder for me to write. Not sure how many more chapters though probably six or seven more.

Chapter 17 – Wrong.

Buffy just kept running, she didn't want to stop, didn't want to think. If she stopped moving all her fears would come rushing back. She knew since she'd been brought back that something wasn't right and it wasn't just learning to live in the world again, it was like she'd left something behind in her grave, part of herself. And now she had proof that something was really wrong and it was her. Spike's chip didn't class her as human, so what was she?

Since she'd been back Buffy hadn't been able to connect with anyone, her friends, Dawn. Spike had been the only person she been able to talk to, at the time she thought it was because he hadn't been one of the people who brought her back, she could always talk to him honestly and he didn't judge her. But now new frightening thoughts were running through her mind, was she some kind of demon? Was the only reason she'd fallen in love with Spike because he was a demon too? Buffy hoped not, but so much had changed in a year, she was disgusted at first when he declared his love for her, then she'd learnt to trust him, then she'd died and after been brought back they'd become friends, that was the only word Buffy could use to describe the relationship they had had. Then the singing had changed everything, the truth came out in more ways than one and Spike saved her yet again.

As Buffy thought about everything she had been through with Spike, all the moments she had shared with him she decided that even if she hadn't died when she did she probably would have ended up falling in love with him anyway. But she hadn't come back completely right, she knew that, there could be no other explanation, how was she going to live now, knowing that she wasn't really her?

Buffy was near the woods now on the edge of town, she finally came to a clearing, what she had been searching for and there was her grave staring her in the face, she hadn't seen it since that night and with the moon shining casting shadows across the stone it looked even more eerie. Buffy took a few steps closer to it, reading what was engraved on it more clearly, before she had been so confused she only really saw her name, she took in the inscription on the bottom, 'She saved the world a lot.' Her whole body felt like a huge weight and she fell down to her knees, sinking into the damp grass at the foot of her grave. Buffy didn't know if she would ever be that 'she' again. The person who fought all those apocalypses, so much had changed. Was this what they called growing up? Or was it something more? Something really wrong?

Everyone in the Magic Box was silent; Spike stared at the door where Buffy had just disappeared from.

"So what's wrong with her?" Anya said breaking the silence.

"There's nothin' wrong with her!" Spike practically yelled. Everyone was a little shocked by his outburst but Anya seemed unfazed by it as she continued.

"I just mean that something must be different about her since we brought her back for your chip not to work on her, right?" Anya didn't receive an answer from anyone. Spike had a pensive look on his face as he looked into nothing and the shop went quiet again.

"Can you find out why the chip doesn't work on Buffy anymore? Look into the spell Red did? Work out if there's any chance that she came back… not quite human?" Spike said as he turned to Tara.

"No Spike, that's n-not… no. She didn't, she's fine." Tara said firmly.

"Yeah I know, but I need some answers… Buffy will need answers, whatever they may be."

"What are you going to do?" Xander said as Spike turned to walk out the door.

"Find her."

It wasn't very difficult for Spike, as soon as he walked out the shop he caught her scent, sometimes he thought he would be able to follow her scent across the world. It was so distinctive, to his nose anyway and it was a comforting thought, he felt as though it would always be able to find her and that meant he would never lose her in some ways. Spike strode purposefully across town following his nose, after a while he felt he was getting very close, he could feel her. Then the area around him became familiar and he knew exactly where she was without having to sniff her out. He had been here so many times in those hundred and forty-seven days, the worst days of his life and unlife.

He saw her kneeling at the foot of her grave, her back facing him. He knew she'd probably already sensed him but he didn't want to scare her, so he gently walked up beside her and said her name.

"Buffy?" Spike said as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Is that my name? Am I Buffy?" She whispered.

"Of course you are, don't you feel like yourself?" He said softy and slowly still standing just behind Buffy.

"I don't know, I didn't… before… I thought that now… I was me, I've been feeling really good… but…" Buffy trailed off and looked up into Spike's eyes.

Spike knelt down beside her and placed his hands around hers in a touch that mimicked warming them even though he gave out no heat.

"Buffy. You're still you." He said firmly. To Spike she would always be Buffy even if it turned out she was some kind of demon or something worse he would always love her.

"No, I can't be, I must have come back wrong Spike, otherwise why can you hit me?" She said as tears formed in her eyes.

"I don't know yet, but I've got the witch looking into it, she'll find out why." Spike said and then cupped Buffy's chin forcing her to look at him. "You didn't come back wrong."

Buffy buried her head in his shoulder sighing in the comfort it gave her as Spike wove his arms around her and stroked soothing patterns on her back. They stayed like that for a few minutes neither of them wanting to break the contact or the comfortable silence that had formed around them. Eventually Spike spoke, the rational part of his mind kicking in and realising that they couldn't stay like this forever, for one thing the sun would come up soon and turn him to dust.

"Come on luv, let's get back eh?"

"O.k." Buffy said muffled into Spike's shoulder.

Spike had to practically lift her up from the ground and then as they walked back to the shop he kept an arm wrapped around her waist to support her, Buffy just let most of her weight rest on Spike and tried not to think about what answers Tara could have and how bad they could be.

After Willow had told Amy to get lost for good she suddenly felt liberated, it had given she new strength to fight her addiction, make sure she never gave in. It also made her feel there was hope, hope for her and Tara and a future they might have together. She hadn't really spoken to Tara since she'd moved out of the house, they did run into each other a day and Tara seemed pleased that she had gone quite a few days now without any spells so Willow could only hope that somehow they could work things out even if it meant they would just be able to be friends again.

Everyone's head turned to the door as Buffy and Spike walked in, Spike was still holding Buffy close to him. They all took in the display of comfort and affection between them, they were all still getting used to seeing them together being couplely and intimate but nobody said anything, Xander and Tara looked away shyly both thinking they shouldn't be staring and Xander still feeling slightly creeped out by their cosiness. Anya continued to watch them though, she was extremely pleased that they were a couple and she hoped it would last, it meant that Xander and her would have another couple to do things with, before Spike came along she and Xander were thinking they may have to set Buffy up with someone to help with her social life and therefore aid them with theirs.

They walked to the research table and sat down next to one another so that Buffy could rest her back against Spike's front, his hand found hers where she had placed it on the table and he rested his hand on top of hers stroking a small circle with his thumb across her skin.

"So, have you found out anything?" Spike asked.

"Y-yes, luckily we had all the books here and I managed to go through everything with Anya's and Xander's help." Tara began.

"Skip to the point." Spike said not wanting Buffy to wait any longer, over an hour had passed since she'd ran out of the shop and that was an hour too long for her to worry.

"I-I've double checked everything." Tara said smiling. "There's nothing wrong with you."

"Then why can Spike hurt me?" Buffy asked. Spike hold on her hand tightened just slightly at that question, trying to convey that he would never hurt her.

"Well, I said that there was nothing wrong with you, but ... you are different. Shifting you out of ... f-f-from where you were ... funnelling your essence back into your body ... i-it, it altered you on a basic molecular level. Probably just enough to confuse the sensors or whatever in Spike's chip. But it's all just surfacey physical stuff. It wouldn't have any more effect than ... a bad sunburn."

"I didn't come back wrong?"

"No, you're the same Buffy. With a deep tropical cellular tan."

Buffy let a loud sigh and a couple of tears of relief ran down her cheeks. She hadn't been prepared for good news and now that she had heard it was like a huge weight lifted off her, she turned so that she and Spike were face to face and buried her head into his neck, Spike was staring to think she liked necks more than he did.

"I'm o.k." She said bringing her head back up to look at Spike, their faces inches apart.

"You're o.k." He said brushing away a tear that had rolled down her cheek. "Always knew you would be, whatever happened."

Dawn slipped quietly back into the house, Buffy was still out like she usually was. She tiptoed upstairs unsure of where Willow was and went into her room emptying the contents of her pockets onto her bed. She managed to get quite a few good things, lipstick, jewellery. She then removed her coat uncovering the leather jacket she's stolen for Buffy, it would be the perfect birthday present and then maybe Buffy would give her some of the attention she craved. Things had been getting better, she was really happy for Buffy and Spike because it had made Buffy so much happier but now Buffy was spending most of her time with Spike and Dawn was being ignored as always. Nobody ever took her seriously either; they always treated her like a kid. Do they just all seem to forget that she's only just a few years younger than them. I mean Buffy had just become the Slayer at her age but they all still think she's knows nothing; they don't even notice what she's been doing. When Dawn thinks about it she can't really understand herself why she's been stealing things, it's like she just can't help herself, the things are there and she knows that she can get away with it so she just goes for it. If everyone would just be around a bit more, spend a little bit more time with her. Sometimes she just wishes… but wishes never come true do they?

TBC…