Chapter three

The house was quiet as the sun began to come up over the horizon. Two-Bit and Steve had gone home, Dallas had taken off to get drunk and Johnny hesitantly disappeared. Darry and Soda were at the dining room table reading through the paperwork the policemen had left while Ponyboy laid asleep on the living room floor and I was asleep on the couch.

Soda sifted through the papers Darry wasn't reading when he noticed a paper titled Guardianship of Minor Children. He thought about what that meant and what a huge responsibility that was going to be for his older brother.

"Darry?" Soda whispered low his brown eyes filled with emotion and concern. "Do you think the state is going to let you keep all of us?"

Darry didn't have the answers and Soda knew that. "I don't know Soda." Darry breathed uneasy. "But I plan to take care of you all if they let me."

Soda grinned at his brother, he loved Darry and knew he wouldn't let them down. "I can help the family out too. I can get a job."

"Yeah a part time job for you would really help. I'm going to have to get part-time job as well." Darry looked over at the two youngest sleeping in the living room. "I am worried that they are going to let me keep you and take those two away."

"Why would you say that?" Sodapop questioned. In the last hours he had never considered that each of his siblings could end up in a different location.

"Cause they are so young and they are smart too. The courts may not think I'll be strict enough to make sure they are doing their homework and in the house at night." Darry sat back in his chair, his arm muscles stretching the rolled cuffs of his shirt. "I will though, it will be expected of all of you the way mom and dad expected it of us."

"Geez," Soda smiled again in his charming way and complimented his brother as his voice drawled. "Darry you got just as much potential as they do. You would do just fine takin care of them."

Darry couldn't help but grin back and shake his head in agreement. Soda's comments were just the thing he needed to calm his mind and reassure himself that he was capable of holding the family together.

I opened my eyes after just two short hours of sleep. I looked into the dining room at Darry and Sodapop. I reminded myself of how much I loved them, and began to cry again. My memory then filled with the horror from the last twelve hours. It had all been real and not just a nightmare. I remembered everything; the police, my brothers crying, not being able to breathe or think, waking up from fainting and having to relieve the experience again for a second time. I believed I would be lost forever without my parents. What would I do, who would take care of me, of us?

"Darry?" I sat up and was ready to put my feet on the floor when I kicked Ponyboy below. As he woke up I wondered how long he had been asleep. Everyone in the family had been up all night and most of the morning hours. We mostly talked about mom and dad and how much we missed them already. I think we were all in shock as well because at one point we all sat silently for well over an hour, no tears, no talking, just our thoughts.

Both Darry and Soda looked over.

"Hey there baby girl." Darry offered a smile and came to my side, I noticed the whites of his eyes weren't red and swollen like everyone else's were. I couldn't understand how he couldn't have cried. At one point during the night Ponyboy told me he was angry at Darry for not crying, but I reminded Pony that everyone grieves in their own way and maybe Darry will grieve more when all of the hard decisions are done and out of the way. Pony just looked at me and disagreed. He felt Darry just didn't have it in him to cry.

It was eerie to see Darry coming towards me looking just like my father. They were carbon copies of each other. Their build, their looks even the way they dressed. Both men were laborers. Darry still had on his blue jeans and a white t-shirt from the night before. He wore a plaid button up shirt, unbuttoned with the sleeves rolled up. Both Darry and Soda had been wearing their shirts like dad for a while now.

"Darry...I'm scared." I said hoarsely and struggled to stifle my crying. "What are we going to do?"

Darry took the question literally. "We are going to go on living. We have some planning to do for the funeral, obituaries and I have to fill out some paperwork for guardianship of you three."

I looked up at him through tears and faintly smiled back at him, half out of relief that he would be there to take care of me, and half out of surprise that he didn't seem destroyed by this tragedy. I tried to put myself in his shoes, at how different it was for him because he was the oldest and had to be strong and responsible. I couldn't imagine.

Darry sat on the couch with his arm around me. I was waiting for him to say something, but he didn't. He just sat there with his thoughts, slowly rubbing my arm with his calloused hand. Below us Ponyboy was laying awake staring at the ceiling and crying softly to himself. He had heard everything that Darry had said.

Pony sat up slowly rubbing his eyes. "I need a cigarette." He reached into his pants pockets and pulled out a package of cigarettes and his Zippo lighter. Ponyboy had been smoking since the age of twelve. He was the only one in the family who smoked regularly and we hated that he did. Darry and I never smoked. He cared too much about his health and I didn't like the smell of it so I was sure I wouldn't enjoy the taste. Soda smoked at parties, or to look tough or to steady his nerves. That is exactly what he needed now.

"Hey Pony, got another weed." Soda walked into the living room. His shirt wide open like Darry's exposing his white t-shirt and jeans. Ponyboy pulled a cigarette out for Soda. "Let's go out on the porch, Pony." The two of them walked outside on the front porch in their stocking feet to smoke and get some fresh air. Outside the ground and streets were wet and the snow was melting in the grass.

"Well Darry says he's gonna do his best to take care of us." Soda said softly and took a drag on his cigarette. Sodapop was the one in the family who anyone could talk to about anything. He had a special gift for listening and caring about other's opinions and feelings. Whenever Pony and I would argue we would always try to get Soda on our side. If you could get Soda to agree with you in an argument you were the winner. Soda didn't care much for always being sucked into the middle, but he rarely let it show.

"Do you reckon the state will let him take care of us?" Pony asked as he started to shiver.

"I don't know Pon." Soda shifted his weight and kicked a small pile of snow off the top step. "For one thing I don't know if he can afford it. So I'm gonna get me a job and Darry said he is going to have to get a second job."

Ponyboy looked over at his brother. Soda had wanted a job ever since he turned sixteen a couple months ago. Mom and dad told him that he couldn't. They wanted him to keep working on his grades and school. Pony wanted his brother to stay in school too. He liked having Soda there. At school Soda was a breathe of fresh air for Pony who was focused and determined to get good grades. Everyday at lunch Pony would meet up with Steve, Two-Bit, Johnny, Soda and I and we would go to a little grocery store near the school to eat candy bars and drink Pepsi. Both Pony and I figured the only reason we were allowed to go was because Soda made Steve take us. Without Soda in school Pony and I may have to eat in the cafeteria or take the bus home.

"You're just gonna get a part time job right Soda?" Pony looked cautiously at his brother, nervously licking his lips.

Sodapop shrugged. "I don't know Pony. You know I ain't very bright and school just isn't the thing for me. If the judge lets me I may just quit and get a job somewhere."

Ponyboy started to well up with tears and his voice cracked. "Soda you can't quit school! What would mom and dad think?" The comment sounded stupid, but to Pony mom and dad's opinion still mattered even if they weren't around to enforce it anymore.

"Awe come on Ponyboy." Soda pleaded as the wind blew the edges of his flannel shirt. "I gotta do what is best for us. I ain't never gonna get anything out of school."

Pony finished his cigarette and threw the butt into the yard and scolded. "Well I don't like it one bit Sodapop Curtis, you're not dumb and you could finish school if you really wanted to."

Soda's face dropped as he tried to convey to Pony how wrong his little brother really was. "Now don't go getting all upset over this Pon. Let's just wait and see what the judge says." Soda grabbed his brother by the arm and directed him back inside. "Come on it's too cold out here and I know we can't afford to be goin to the doctor."

Soda and Pony came inside shaking off the cold. Ponyboy walked over in front of Darry and shoved his hands in his pockets. "So what do we do now?"

Darry looked up at Pony. His young brother expected him to have all the answers so Darry set about to give them. Darry stood up and looked at the three of us and took charge. "Today we are going to have to get things ready for the funeral. Scout I want you to go in and pick out some nice clothes for mom and dad. Soda you and I are going to head to the bank and then down to the funeral home to make arrangements. Pony, while we are gone you and Scout will write up the obituaries for the newspaper. We need those done by two o'clock, OK?"

Pony sucked in his lips like he always did when things were bothering him or something was on his mind. "Alright."

"Scout?" Darry waited for confirmation.

I hesitated. No one had been into mom and dad's room since the news. I didn't want to be the first, but then all my clothes were in there so I would have to go in sooner or later. I guess that is why Darry let me have that job. "Yeah, ok." I answered not so enthusiastically.

"I'm going to make some breakfast and then Soda and I will head out of here." Darry headed off to the kitchen.

Soda, Pony and I looked at each other. Our stomachs weren't ready to eat and the look on our faces was the same. Soda piped up. "Darry, I don't think any of us are in the mood to eat."

Darry turned around on his heals to face us. "Everyone needs to eat a little something." Darry was right. He knew a lot about health and even when you are sad the body still needs food. Together we choked down some breakfast. Darry and Soda ate the most. I think between Pony and I we only had one slice of buttered toast and an egg.

Immediately following breakfast Soda and Darry showered and put on some nice clothes to meet with the funeral home to make arrangements.

While they were getting ready I had only a short time to chose the outfits for my parents.

I pushed myself away from the table and walked over to their closed bedroom door. I stood outside for a moment and hesitated to open it. Secretly my mind hoped that I would open the door and find them laying there in bed together as they often did on lazy Sunday mornings. I turned the handle and the door creaked open. Inside the room smelled like them. Sweet like my mom and my dad smelled of his favorite cologne. I stepped in and the reminders of them were overwhelming. Instead of completing my duty as assigned I crawled onto their bed, curled up in the fetal position and cried.

In a minute I felt a warm hand on my back and water dripping on my cheek. I opened my eyes and there was good ole' Sodapop sitting on the bed, wrapped in a towel, comforting me. "Come on Sissy, don't cry now." He drawled. "If you keep crying then I'll start crying and then Pon will cry and we will never get everything done."

His voice was so soft spoken and sweet. I had no choice but to follow his request. I sat up and wiped my eyes. Soda gave me a wet hug, "If ya need help with this just ask."

I told myself that I needed to be less of a sissy and more of a man like my brothers, tough and reliable. "No...I will get it done." With that I scooted off the bed and opened the door to my parents closet. Soda headed back to his room to get dressed.

Inside the closet I looked for the dress I thought my mom looked best in. It was a beautiful baby blue color with a wide neckline. Darry often called her Mrs. Cleaver when she wore it because it was just like the fancy dress Mrs. June Cleaver of the TV show Leave it to Beaver would wear to cook a nice dinner. Choosing Dad's clothes was easy. He had two suits, a brown and a black one. The black one always looked stunning next to mom's dress. I carefully folded the clothes, grabbed accessories to match and put them in a bag for my brothers to take to my parents.

After Soda and Darry left I rejoined Ponyboy at the dining room table. He had brought two pens, two composition notebooks and a quarter with him. Pony had brought the coin so we could flip it to see who would write which obituary. We both wanted to write dad's because he was the most dear to both of us. I know that sounds harsh, but when you have a job to do most people want the job that will be the easiest. Even with the flip we still argued and then felt guilty because we were excluding mom. Eventually we compromised and we wrote a dual obituary and picked out a picture of our parents together.

After a few hours of writing and rewriting we finished just as Darry and Soda returned. Pony and I stayed at the table when they walked in and joined us. "So what arrangements did you make?" Pony asked.

Soda handed him the paperwork and told him. "There will be a short visitation before the funeral at the church. Then they will do the service and we will take them to the cemetery for the burial."

I smiled lightly I wished we could afford a more lavish service. "That sounds real nice. Pony and I have the obituary done, we just need to add the funeral arrangement information."

Darry picked the paper up from the table. Soda peeked his head over Darry's shoulder and the two read quietly to themselves.

Darrel Shaynne Curtis Sr., 40 and Margaret Anne "Maggie" Curtis, 40 of Tulsa, died February 29th as results of injuries sustained in an automobile accident...

"You two did a nice job." Darry complimented us and set the page back down on the table. Before I could pull it over to me to fill in the missing information Sodapop picked it up and finished reading it. I should have known better, Soda isn't a fast reader.

When my brother was done reading the information I took the page back from him and filled in the missing details. I then looked over at the clock, it was already noon. "I am going to take a shower." Ponyboy and I hadn't showered since yesterday morning. I don't know about Pony, but I felt dirty and my head was beginning to itch.

I stood up from my chair just as a knock came at the door. We all looked over, but no one came in. It was customary in our neighborhood that people just come in after they knock. I looked back at my brothers', obviously this wasn't someone we knew. I moved slowly across the living room toward the door. Before opening it I pushed my curly light brown hair behind my ears. I glanced down at my clothes, which I was still wearing from yesterday. My green hand-me-down sweatshirt and an old pair of Pony's jeans. I frowned at my appearance and opened the door.

Standing on the other side of the screen door was an older woman in a long wool coat. Her hair was done up nice and she definitely didn't come from my neighborhood.

"May I help you?" I asked.

"Hi there, you must be Scout." She looked down at me. "I am Mrs. Marten, I am the state social worker assigned to your case."

For a few seconds I just stared at her, still not comprehending fully that mom and dad were gone and the decisions in our lives were less our own. I was about to let her in when Darry's strong hand grabbed my arm and tugged me out of the way.

"Please come in." Darry motioned for her to enter and he held out his hand to greet her. "I am Darry."

I stood back by my dad's armchair and watched as she almost floated in. She was very pretty and graceful, almost intimidating for a lanky tomboy like me. I looked over to the two boys at the dining room table. Ponyboy had combed his hair and tucked in his shirt. Soda was standing up with a look on his face like he was going to be sick.

I heard Darry ask to take the lady's coat and Ponyboy and Sodapop moved into the living room to introduce themselves. I stood between the two chairs by the front door. Even though I was in the room I couldn't seem to hear the conversation. I kept trying to understand in my own mind why we needed her. Why couldn't Darry just have us and we could stay home.

"Scout!" Darry's voice interrupted my thoughts as he forced me to remember my manners.

I held my hand out. "Hi, I'm Scout."

The lady smiled and shook my hand. "That's a very interesting outfit you have on. You look like a brother more than a sister."

I glared at the woman. I didn't take to being teased by strangers to well. Mrs. Marten looked around the room nervously, I think she was a little intimidated by the situation.

"Well, what I am here to do is collect a little information on your situation so the state can make a decision on what to do with you children. I will need to assess the home and learn a little more about each of you and find out what type of family you want to live with." Our insides jumped at the sound of the question, we all wanted to interrupt but the lady kept on speaking. "I have been to your school today and have seen those records." She then turned to Darry, "Records at school don't list any other relatives..."

"No, it's just us four now." Darry informed her.

"I see." Mrs. Marten looked disappointed. "I know it hasn't been very much time, but have you considered who will take guardianship of the children?"

Ponyboy, Sodapop and I all heard her question as she directed it to Darry as if we weren't standing five feet away from her.

"Well mam' I am planning on taking over their guardianship." Darry told her without batting an eye.

The lady's expression was shocked and possible appalled by the decision and she let out a little laugh that she probably shouldn't have had. "All three of them?"

"Yes mam'." Darry stared her down. "I have the paperwork already completed."

"OK you can give that to me and I will see that it gets to the judge tomorrow." She sighed heavily as if she was annoyed. "Well then, I'll need to see around the home."

Darry was the most cordial of us all. "Um this is the living room." The social worker looked left and right at our things. When Darry knew she had seen all there was he moved into the dining room. Darry knew the house looked horrible to someone like her so he did his best to sell the idea of us staying as a family. "This is the dining room, we always eat as a family. That will be something we keep doing. Everyone will help out with making dinner, cleaning, laundry and stuff like that."

The lady looked around the room at the simple furniture then to the baby items and pictures on top of the piano and then to the piano itself. "This is a nice old piano, does anyone in the family play?"

"Yes Mam', Scout plays really well. She's the only one who knows how to do anything more than chopsticks." Darry laughed at the thought of Soda's piano playing skills. He would often sit at the piano and announce he was having a concert only to pound wildly on the keys and sway back and forth. That would always leave Dad and Ponyboy in stitches, but Darry, Mom and I would cringe knowing that after his concert the piano would be that much more out of tune.

"Scout!" Mrs, Marten called to me. "I think it would be just delightful to hear you play a little piece." I froze in my spot. Thinking about how proud my mother was that I could play music so well.

It was my mother's dream that I would learn to play. When we first got the piano I taught myself how to play the simple songs in just a few weeks. Mom knew I was good, but needed lessons, but we could never afford them. So at just eleven years old I set out on a quest to find a piano teacher. I called every teacher listed in the newspaper hoping to find one who would teach me on trade. After my seventh call I finally made a deal with an elderly lady a few neighborhoods away. She would teach me piano once a week and I cleaned for her. The trade worked well for me, Soda was none to happy. Since he didn't focus on his homework well or have sports after school he had to walk the 12 blocks with me to her house, wait for me to clean and take my 45 minute lesson and then walk me home. Eventually Soda decided he would start cleaning while I practiced. This worked out for everyone because all Soda wanted to do was get home and hang out with his friends. We did this for almost two years till my teacher fell ill and wasn't able to teach any longer. I still hadn't found a new piano teacher.

I used to play for my mother almost every night, but now she was gone and I got a sick feeling in my stomach that I didn't want to ever play again if she wasn't there to listen.

"No thanks, I'm just not ... I ..." My eyes began to swell with tears as I saw in my mind my mother sitting on the edge of the piano bench playfully pleading with me. "Scout! Baby come and play a song before bed." Mom's golden hair was pulled back with two barrettes and a kitchen towel was slung over her shoulder.

"This is the bathroom!" Darry said loud enough to change the subject and bust the images in my head. Mrs. Marten dropped the idea of me playing and stepped into the bathroom. She appeared to keep her hands close to her body as if she touched something in there she would surely get sick and die.

Darry then directed her through to the little room off to the right of the kitchen. This is where Scout sleeps. He pointed to the bed that was shoved up against the wall the long way underneath the window. He then pointed to the kitchen and to the closed door that held my parents room. "That is ... was my parents room. You can look in there if you want to."

Mrs. Marten had heard everything he said but was fixated on my room. "You sister sleeps here? Out here in the open? This isn't even a room." She rambled. "There is absolutely no privacy here at all!"

Darry stared silent with his strong arms folded across his chest. I stepped into the conversation to defend my territory. "It doesn't bother me. I've sleeping here for years." I smiled to let the Mrs. Marten's know that I was being truthful, but the look on her face told me how appalled she was with the arrangement. "I don't dress here or anything. I have a dresser in my parents room."

Mrs. Marten made a small disappointing sound in here throat and moved with Darry though the kitchen to show her his room, Pony and Soda's room.

As they walked away Pony, Soda and I all shared a look of concern. "She just don't understand," Soda said. "A family makes due with what they have and a lot of times that is good enough."

Ponyboy stuck his thumbs in his belt loops and agreed with him. "I sure would like the opportunity to go through her house and critique everything she likes."

Darry and the social worker came back through the far kitchen door into the dining room where the three of us were huddled in agitation. Pony stuffed his hands into the pocket of his jeans and Soda offered up an emotionless stare.

"Well I've seen the home, now I just would like to meet with each of you in private." She looked around the room not finding a place she felt would be suitable.

"You could meet in the living room." Darry told her and pointed with his thumb to the two chairs in the corner by the door.

Mrs. Marten walked toward the chairs. "Ok, who would like to go first?"

We all looked at each other, but no one moved. I guess we were all pretty scared that we may say or do the wrong thing that would lead to us being split apart.

Darry spoke up first and inadvertently selected the order of our meeting with her. "Mrs. Marten, I need to get the obituary information to the paper." Darry said pointing to the obituary forms. "I'm gonna have Sodapop drive them to the paper right now if you don't mind." Soda cracked a grin knowing he was getting out of the house.

Ponyboy kept his attention to the wood floor below his feet.

Darry, and I looked at each other. I could see in his eyes that he wanted to be last in case we did or said anything questionable. "Alright," I groaned low, "I'll go." I couldn't believe how shabby I looked. I had better manners then to meet with a lady of her type without a shower and nice clothes, but maybe giving the circumstances she would understand.