The four of us stood silent in the grass by the side of our parent's graves as the caskets were lowered to rest at the bottom of the six foot hole that would be their final resting place. It all seemed so cold and dark, I hated it. I hated being there.
The visitation and funeral were earlier that morning. It was the first time I realized my parents knew so many people. We spent hours greeting our parents co-workers, their old high school friends, our neighbors, and kids and teachers from our school. Darry's old football coaches showed up and Pony's track coach did too.
The caskets that held my parents sat at the front of the church, but I couldn't bring myself to go up there. For me there is something weird about looking at a dead body to remember a person. That didn't stop Ponyboy or Soda. When we walked in the church both of them headed there first. They stayed there a long time saying goodbye and telling mom and dad how much they loved them. I guess that's the difference with boys, they don't say I love you when they should. Pony, Soda and I bawled through the entire service. Darry stayed composed as the pillar of strength.
When we were dismissed from the graveside the gang all hung out for a few minutes figuring what to do next.
Steve wandered over by Soda's side and quietly spoke. "Hey Soda, why don't we all head down to the bowling alley and get some Cokes and scope out the women. Two-Bit's driving."
Soda had to smile, he was always willing to scope out women and he knew that Steve would need his charm and good looks to lure the girls in. "Yeah, that might be fun." Soda gently slapped Ponyboy's arm to get his attention. "Hey Pony, why don't you and Johnny come with too."
Steve rolled his eyes but kept his mouth shut. Much to Steve's dismay Soda always invited Ponyboy and Johnny along when they went places.
"Alright." Pony and Johnny said not caring where they went for the afternoon. Dally joined the crowd without invitation.
Darry called out to the guys. "Hey ya'll. Stay out of trouble and be home by dinner. All of you!" Darry had plans to cook dinner for everyone for all the help they had been over the past few days.
I stood watching the guys walk down to the gravel road that ran through the cemetery. As they all filed into Two-Bit's car Pony looked back to me and waved just a little. He knew I was being left behind with Darry, he didn't consider that to be the most fun. I waved back and Pony disappeared into the car.
Darry threw his arm around me and we walked together to the truck in silence. He held the door open and I climbed in. The vinyl seat was cold underneath me as I watched Darry to climb in the other side and sit quietly in his seat. After a few quiet moments he looked over. "Well, we need to go to the grocery store and get some food for dinner and for the week."
I looked over at him trying to decide if he just had tons of confidence that he would be our guardian or did he just forget that tomorrow Soda, Pony and I could be placed in homes outside of our neighborhood. Now that the funeral was over I couldn't get my mind off my next impending doom off my mind. "Darry, we may not need food for the rest of the week for all of us."
Darry looked back at me and I could see the worry in his eyes. "Yeah, I guess I forgot about that." He paused for a moment searching for something to make the situation better. "Hey why don't you and I head to Rusty's for a chocolate milkshake before shopping." Darry smiled.
I loved to see him smile, he was very handsome and we looked nice so I accepted his invitation. Now Rusty's Drive In is not a place that I would ever be able to go with anyone in the gang, except Darry. Darry rarely wore grease in his hair and he used to go to Rusty's a lot in high school. It was a popular place for football players and cheerleaders alike. Rusty's was the soc's hangout it had a diner on the inside and Drive In service outside. It was a really nice place on the other side of town. The décor was pink and light blue, with red booths and a black checkered floor and jukeboxes on every table. It was the popular place to work because all of the waitresses were gorgeous and they wore shorter skirts and roller skates.
I smiled back at him, happy I wasn't going to have to go home and sit alone. "Yeah, that will be fun."
When we walked into the diner I felt important. Everything was cooler then I had thought and Darry got us a booth by one of the big windows that faced the road. He ordered us two milkshakes and let me have a nickel to play any song I wanted on the jukebox. I sat there flipping through the songs. I wanted to play something that was popular with the crowd inside more than just something I wanted to hear.
"Darry Curtis?" A tall blood man with freckles had approached our booth with two friends. He patted Darry on the back. "Awe man I haven't seen you for ages!"
Darry smiled and threw his left arm up over the edge of the booth as he turned to face the crowd. "Tony! Hey man it's good to see you!" Darry then noticed the rest of the guys. "Hey Tom... Jeff." The two boys with him were dressed in khaki pants and nice button up shirts. Some of them had rings and gold chains around their neck.
Darry called out the names and I started to remember the faces, these were some of the guys from Darry's football team. On my first day of high school I went to the cafeteria for lunch. I wandered around to a few tables to find a place to sit, not knowing how many of the spots were being held for other people. Just as I spotted an empty table way in the back by a bunch of hoods I heard Darry whistle for me. I couldn't miss the whistle, it was used by our gang a lot. I walked over and he introduced me to his teammates and told me I could sit with him at lunch. I sat there everyday that semester, which Darry loved because he always got to eat half of my lunch.
Tom spoke up happy to see Darry again. "Hey how you been?"
"I've been ok. I thought you guys were all away at college?" Darry asked.
"Dig it! Spring break!" Jeff yelled out. "The whole gang is in town. Got time, want to hang out?"
The smile drifted from Darry's face as he avoided the question. "Do you guys remember my little sister Scout?" Darry pointed my way. The guys all said they remembered me and that I sure was looking nice. "We thought we'd come over for a milkshake..."
I heard the bell on the front door ding as a group of beautiful girls walked in. Darry cut short his answer as the men all turned their heads. Immediately the guys standing around the booth caught the attention of the four girls and flagged them over.
"Girls look who we found hanging around!" Tony pointed to Darry.
The girls came over and looked at Darry, their faces seemed full or worry more than joy. One girl with golden blond hair jumped in the booth next to Darry to offer her condolences. "Oh Darry! We just heard about your parents... how are you doing?" The booth was large enough to seat at least six so the three other girls slid into the booth too. Two with Darry and the other two on my side. I slid over by the window as the girls all looked to Darry with empathy in their eyes.
"I just saw in the paper that your parents died. We are all really sorry to hear that." The beautiful blond frowned as the other guy's smiles grew to concern and they joined everyone in sitting as they heard the news.
"Your parents died?" Tony asked, confused that Darry hadn't mentioned it.
"Awe man." Jeff asked in a low voice. "When did that happen?"
Darry was literally cornered and was going to have to answer. "Couple days ago. Scout and I just came from the funeral." Darry said pointing across the table at me.
A few of the girls smiled at me as Darry realized he hadn't introduced me to the girls. "This is my little sister Scout. Scout this is Kathryn, Julie, Clara and Susan."
"Sure," one of the brunettes said, "we remember her from school last year." The girl smelled as good as she looked as she leaned toward me. "So what now? Do you have to go live with family somewhere, with aunt's or uncles?"
I frowned and let Darry do the talking. "We don't have any relatives. I have to go to court tomorrow morning to petition to keep the kids in my custody, otherwise they would spilt everyone up."
The prettiest girl, Kathryn, threw her arms around Darry. "Oh Darry I am so sorry to hear this." Immediately I could tell she liked him. She liked him and he didn't even seem to notice or to care.
Tony looked across the table at his friend. "How many brothers and sisters you got?"
"Three, Scout and two brothers."
"Holy crap man, you're gonna be a dad!" Jeff said. I was getting the idea that he wasn't the most well spoken guy in the crowd. "You gonna drop out of college to take care of them."
My heart sank as I heard the question. I knew the comment had to have hit a nerve with Darry, but he didn't let it show. "No, I didn't get to college. I have been working full time trying to save up for it, but now..."
Darry went on for a few minutes telling his old friends how he was going to work his hardest to keep the family together and help Ponyboy and I to get scholarships so we could go off to school. The crowd stayed well past the time that my milkshake was gone. I didn't mind sitting in the corner being ignored, I actually preferred it most of the time. It was nice to see Darry having a goodtime and having someone to talk to.
An hour later everyone had disappeared except Kathryn and her friend Julie. The table was littered with empty milkshake glasses, coke bottles and empty baskets that once held piles of fries. Darry's friend Tony had insisted on paying for our milkshakes before he left, that was nice.
Julie, the good smelling brunette, leaned over to Kathryn who was practically on Darry's lap the whole time. "Kay we need to get going if we are going to meet everyone over at the movie house."
Kathryn smiled and agreed. "Ok." She pulled a little note pad out of her purse and wrote something down. Then folded it and passed it over to me. "Scout honey you make sure Darry calls me if he needs anything. I would give this number to him," She glared at him adoringly, "but he never seems to call when I ask him."
I took the paper and put it in my pocket. "Thanks Kathryn, I will." The girls got up and threw more money on the table for a tip and left the diner. I looked over at my very popular brother and laughed. "I think she likes you a lot Darry! You're a lucky guy, she's really cute."
Darry looked back, his ice blue eyes showed little emotion. "Don't get excited Sissy. Do you know who her dad is?" I shook my head no. "He's the city attorney, and she has two older sisters, and they both married lawyers. I highly doubt I would fit into that family." Truth is Darry was wrong, he was smart enough to get a law degree, but that would never happen now. Suddenly I felt full of guilt as we left the diner and headed to the grocery store.
Everyone in the gang made it to the house for dinner and things were functioning like old times, minus mom and dad. After dinner the boys did some rough housing, television watching and played cards. Emotionally the healing was beginning, but it has still been an exhausting few days. Seeing how wiped out everyone was and knowing that we had to appear in court in the morning for our guardianship meeting Darry promptly kicked everyone out of the house by 10pm and sent us all off to bed.
I climbed into my bed and laid staring up at the ceiling. My brothers were still moving about the house so the kitchen light was on. I didn't think I would be able to sleep so I started counting the square ceiling tiles. Within a few minutes I fell into a deep sleep before my brothers had gone to bed themselves.
Alone in the dark my heart began to race. I had no idea where I was. Everything seemed gray and eerie. Across the way I saw Pony running in fear my brother was in trouble. "Pony!" I yelled waking myself and sitting up straight in my bed. I held my breath for a few seconds to notice if I heard anything out of the ordinary. Nothing, all was quiet. I laid back in my bed and fluffed my pillow under me head. For some reason my heart was still beating fast.
From the other side of the house Ponyboy let out a blood curdling scream that made me nearly jump out of my skin. I hustled out of bed and ran through the kitchen. By the time I made it to Ponyboy's bedroom Sodapop was already at the side on Pony's bed trying to calm him down and Darry was standing in the doorway watching. I quietly stood behind my oldest brother and watched in horror.
Inside the room Ponyboy was trembling and crying. He didn't recognize Soda even with the lights on and he wouldn't let Soda go near him.
Soda looked up to Darry who walked in trying to get Ponyboy to come to his senses. "Ponyboy, it's us Darry and Soda... Pony..."
Ponyboy continued his crying and was still shaking when he buried his head deep into his knees to keep from seeing anything.
I moved by Darry's side and the three of us looked at each other and watched Pony for a minute. We kept our distance and hoped whatever had gone wrong would fix itself soon. No one in the family had ever had a nightmare like the one Pony had that night, and no one knew what to do.
"Pony?" I said quietly. "Pony are you going to be ok?"
Ponyboy looked over at me confused, "Scout?" He then came to the realization that he was in his room and safe. His face turned red as he became embarrassed and wiped his eyes. "I'm ok." He muttered. "I just had a bad dream is all."
"I'll say, you screamed so loud I thought someone was in here killing you." Soda said relieved that Pony had calmed down.
"Are you sure you are ok Pony?" Darry pried.
"Yeah, I'm sure... I just need a cigarette is all." Pony climbed out of bed and searched for his pack of cigarettes and lighter on his cluttered desk. When he found what he was looking for he turned around and caught my eye. "You ok Scout?"
I looked at him and smiled. "Yeah I'm ok if you are ok." It wasn't uncommon for Ponyboy and I to wake up in the morning having had the same dream. It was very common when we shared a room. Somehow I think he remembered seeing me in his dream the way I had seen him. Lucky for me my nightmare wasn't as scary as his.
Darry looked at us both trying to figure out our encrypted conversation. "What are you two talking about?"
Pony shrugged his shoulders. He had no idea what his dream was abut, but Pony had a feeling I was in his dream and answered. "I just wanted to make sure she was ok, that's all."
Darry and Soda both knew that we shared dreams, thoughts and could finish each other's sentences. "What was the dream about?"
Ponyboy looked puzzled. "I don't know...I don't remember."
Darry looked over at me concerned for the two of us. "What about you?"
I thought for a minute about the vision I had. Then I tried to determine if I should tell Darry I had a nightmare at all. I determined that even if I had lied to him, he wouldn't believe me. "My dream wasn't that scary. I just remember seeing Ponyboy. He was alone and running from something... I don't know what thought because all I remember was it was dark. Then I woke up and Pony let out that scream."
Darry stared at both of us, concern buried in his eyes as he realized there was another problem in our lives he didn't have a solution to.
"Come on now let's all get back to bed." Sodapop directed us with a smile. "You going to be ok Scout?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Pony?" Soda looked over to his little brother.
"Yeah." Pony agreed even though he was still shaking a bit. Pony finished his nerve settling cigarette and climbed back into bed.
Soda looked over to his oldest brother. "Darry you going to be ok?"
Darry let out a little laugh, Darry was to tough not to be ok. "Yeah Soda I'll be fine, you?"
"I'm good." Soda smiled back and headed off to his room. Darry joined him and turned off Pony's bedroom light.
I walked back across the cold kitchen tile to my bed. My feet were cold so it felt good to climb back into my warm covers.