A/N: Ok, heads up, C.O.P.S. fans! My sixth and final chapter of my (and this sub-category's) very first ficcie. As soon as this is up, the first thing I'll do is convert this into present tense (been thinking about that lately) and then e-mail it to the very fansite that helped me get back into the cartoon after a long absense (they're looking for fanfics too, hope this doesn't go against the TOS.) Sorry if I've annoyedanyone by talking about that lately, but if it weren't for that site, thisproject would not have been possible, nor would this sub-category be on this site. If youdon't have thesite's address and you want it so bad, please e-mail me. My addy's in my personal file. Well, enough chatter. On with the conclusion of..... A NOVEL DISHONOR.

Chapter 6

Randall asked if I wanted to spend tonight at his house. I agreed. After all, if Doug was this angry about Benjamin's book, I really didn't want to make it even worse by even mentioning either one to his face, or in his presence. I thought about Terri. She hadn't seen the book yet, I believed. Doug would probably tell her bad things about it, and all this stuff about Benjamin being an alleged traitor to the family, so she wouldn't want to. It was probably best to avoid him entirely until he calmed down.

Just as I got settled in the house that evening, my cell phone rang. It was Jill calling. "I just spoke with the director," she said. She sounded very solemn. "His mother passed away in San Francisco twenty minutes ago. He and his whole family are taking this very hard."

I was saddened to hear this, but I had bigger problems to deal with right now. What was I going to do with Benjamin and a certain elite police force that was angry with him? I knew Doug had to apologize to Benjamin before he left Empire City. But what could I do about this?

Jill was waiting for a reply. "Leslie? Leslie, are you still there?"

A bit startled, I stopped daydreaming and quickly said, "Jill? Oh, Jill, I'm so sorry, I was thinking about something else. See, my cousin had this book signing party today; it was a disaster. Doug and all his friends hated his book, they're all pissed at him, and I want to see them all make up before Benjamin leaves. But please, give that director my condolences, and tell him I want to discuss some business with him when he gets back. It's about Benjamin's book. I'll call Molly to tell her right away." I said goodbye, hung up, and dialed Molly's place.

I told her about the director's mother, and how the book signing went. When I hung up, I sighed, and started thinking about Benjamin again. I was sure he wanted an apology from everyone just as much as I did. I wondered what he was doing at this moment, locked in his hotel room at the Manifesta, refusing to leave it tonight. Crying on his bed pillows, perhaps? Plotting revenge against Doug and Bulletproof? Dialing Doug's house endlessly in a desperate attempt to make up?

Whatever he was doing, I concluded that Doug, Bulletproof and the C.O.P.S. had no right to humiliate Benjamin the way they did. I had to see if he was all right. I dialed his hotel and asked to be put through his room.

After a few minutes, I heard Benjamin's voice. "Hello?"

"Ben! Hi, this is Leslie calling," I said. "Listen, I just want to apologize on behalf of the C.O.P.S. Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I am," he replied. "God, I can't believe what they all said to me. They could have told me that they didn't like it, and that I should have toned down the sex scenes. They didn't have to belittle me like that in public. That was embarrassing." He paused. "At least Randall's criticism was constructive."

"Well, again, I just want to apologize…"

"Don't bother, Leslie. The people I want to hear apologies from are the C.O.P.S. Especially Roughhead, or whatever Doug's code name is."

"Roughneck," I corrected. "Doug's code name is Roughneck." Although Roughhead sounded a little more appropriate at the time.

"That's why I called the airport to cancel my flight to Chicago tomorrow, and told my publisher that I'm putting off the rest of my book tour until further notice. I'm not leaving Empire City without hearing Doug and your cop friends say they're sorry."

I was about to say something when I heard a beep. My call waiting. I put Benjamin on hold and pushed a button to take the other call. "Hello?"

"Leslie, it's Doug," the voice said. "Where are you?"

"Hi, Doug," I said. "I'm just hanging out with Randall for the night. You caught me in the middle of a call. I'm talking to Benjamin."

"Benjamin…" he mused.

"Oh, Doug, stop it. He's our cousin."

"No! Our cousin has turned into a thoughtless, self-absorbed blowhard with no regard for family or tradition."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, Ben's going to stay in Empire City until you, Bulletproof and everyone else apologizes for what happened this afternoon. Hardtop, Mace and Longarm especially, because of their accusations."

"Well, Benjamin might as well set up house at the far end of the city, because no way is he getting an apology," Doug insisted. "If anything, he should be apologizing to us for making police work look like payless prostitution. And he should be on his knees, begging, for his attempt to profit from this."

I pressed the call waiting button before I could get into an argument, and talked to Benjamin.

"Guess what, Benjamin," I told him. "That was Doug I just talked to. He says he and the others are ready to say they're sorry."

"Excellent," he replied. "Now, do you know who's going to be on shift tomorrow afternoon?"

"Doug definitely should be," I said. "He had yesterday and Thursday off, and today was supposed to be his day off, too, I believe. I think he stayed at work voluntarily because he didn't feel like going only to confront you, and then go home."

"Great, so tomorrow afternoon would be perfect. How about two?"

"All right, so are you going to pick me up at the hotel, or shall we meet at the headquarters?"

Suddenly, Randall walked up to me and made a gesture, telling me to hand him my cell. "Actually, why don't you discuss it with Randall?" I offered. "He would like to talk to you." I said goodbye to him, and surrendered my cell to my brother.

Randall's shift began at noon the next day. On our way to the headquarters, we picked up Benjamin at the hotel. When we got inside, we surprisingly noticed the desk area totally empty. Not a single police officer to be seen. Even Mainframe, who was usually stoked out at the crime computer, was not in her seat.

"That's funny," I said. "Mainframe's supposed to be looking out for more criminal activity to report. Big Boss must have gotten out of jail already. She's probably gone to join the others on a big manhunt."

"They must have broken out during the night," Randall suggested. "Still, she might have gone to get some coffee."

"I'll go look for her," I volunteered.

I searched the whole headquarters over for Mainframe. She couldn't be in the briefing room, because Bulletproof already did the roll call and explained some plan to catch Big Boss, a plan I never knew about. I am their friend, I thought. Why don't they clue me in on their major crime-busting activities? She wasn't in the coffee room – which, by the way, had messy counter tops with sticky coffee stains that had to be at least three days old.

"Ugh, who's been neglecting their clean-up duties?" I wondered. "I'll have to give those C.O.P.S. a good talking to when they get back."

I kept looking for Mainframe. The interviewing room was empty. I even went into the women's washroom, thinking she'd be there. I called her name numerous times, and got no response. I didn't bother looking in any of the johns; what if she was doing some private business? Still, why wouldn't she answer me? So I called her name louder. Nothing. I walked out, disgusted.

"She must be out with everyone else," I said to myself as I walked back to my brother and cousin. But just as I saw them, I heard Randall ending a conversation on my cell phone.

"Leslie, I have to meet Bulletproof over at Bank of New Buffalo," he said. "They need some more backup. It's Big Boss and his whole group if I know this. Stay here with Benjamin, please?" He left, and I turned to Benjamin. He was sitting in Mainframe's computer chair.

"Did Randall tell you to sit there?" I asked. "Mainframe's not going to like you sitting at her computer. In fact, I don't think the C.O.P.S. are even going to like you being here."

"Tough crap!" he spat back. "Leslie, I meant what I said last night. I came here for an apology, and I'm not leaving here until I get one."

"If you say so." I sat down at the nearest desk. Twenty minutes later, Bulletproof and everyone else came back, including Doug and Randall. When they saw Benjamin at the crime computer, Randall quickly ran up to protect him.

But to my surprise, nobody pulled him out of Mainframe's chair. Nobody even grabbed his hand. Instead, they all folded their arms and glared at him.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Benjamin Janes, back to gather more unbelievable crap about my reputable team of law enforcers," Bulletproof said.

Benjamin sneered, "Oh, you're a riot, Bulletproof."

"What do you want, Benjamin?" Doug snarled.

"Apologies from each of you, for one!" Benjamin insisted.

"Well, Bullseye and I just got back from patrol in our Air Raid helicopter," Mirage informed him, "and I, for one, did not see pigs flying."

"Neither did I," Bullseye added.

"Well, I'm not leaving this place without an apology." Benjamin stood and forced everyone to step back. "You had no right to make me look bad at the book signing yesterday."

"We made you look bad?" Mace boomed. "Listen, buster, you had no right to use my life – or whoever else's life you used, for your book!"

"Furthermore," Bulletproof added, "you also had no right to take law enforcement as a whole, and make it read like it's some sort of sex service!"

Benjamin looked poised to slap him, but I hoped he wouldn't. He didn't; he just said, "Man, Leslie always told me you were tough and dedicated officers, but he never said you were so egotistical about it!"

He took a forced breath. "I think there are some things you all need to know. One, I based Johnny 'the Junkyard Dog' Willis around my father!"

"What?!" all the C.O.P.S. cried at once.

"Uncle Matt?" Doug asked, exasperated. "But, Ben, he's just as dedicated to his police and community work as Dad was. You know that."

"Yeah, well, unlike Uncle Francis, my Dad always loosened up his police hardness when he got home," Benjamin explained. "And he still does. Just like Johnny, he's a rough and tough SOB when he's working the streets, but turns into a soft and snuggly teddy bear when he's not."

"Our Dad always criticized yours for that," Doug said.

"Well, my Dad's a firm believer that leaving your work at the office is the key to a successful police marriage and family," Benjamin replied. "He wasn't all police-like when he was spending time with me; he was kind and loving. We did everything together, my father and me, even go to his youth center. Everyone says he's the coolest athletics coach they've known."

All right, fine," Mace said, "but you still haven't told us the story behind the big body mass and promiscuous love life."

"The body thing was also inspired by my father," Benjamin said. "You want to know what everyone nicknames him back in Miami? 'The Macho Moose Man.' You see, like Johnny, Dad loves to show off his body. He still does, and he's fifty-one damn years old! During his off-duty time, whenever he's outside, he never wears a shirt, even in the middle of January. He loves it when a beautiful girl rips off his shirt. He's also known to do that before he gets into bed, and at the beach or swimming pool. Also, you know how I know when he plans to work in the yard or garage? He'll parade around the house shirtless that day until the job is done. Believe me, I've heard that from women who were lucky enough to see it all, including my own mother."

He sat back down in Mainframe's chair. "Speaking of lucky women, Dad has had lots over the past twenty years. They've been going wild on him since my mother died. Doug, do you and Randall think Leslie and I were the only ones who noticed this? Do you think I minded this? Should I have minded it? No, because I knew my father was so gorgeous-looking, the sexiest man in American law enforcement. He takes part in those 'sexy blue collar hunk' contests that local nightclubs hold every year, and he'd come out in the finals every time, though he didn't always win. Plenty of pretty Miami ladies always want to sleep with my Dad – and they do. That's exactly how I created Johnny Willis – to take after my father."

It was silent for a few moments. I was grateful when Benjamin finished his speech. I'd been watching him, Doug and Randall the whole time. If either of them started telling Bulletproof and the others that story about how I poked Uncle Matt in his belly button, I'd murder them.

Suddenly, Longarm commented, "Benjamin, your father is an oversexed manwhore." Randall quickly elbowed him in the stomach.

"What's the other thing you wanted to say?" Bullseye asked.

"I never intended to sexualize law enforcement with my book," Benjamin said. "That was not why I wrote it. Otherwise, I'd have had Johnny sleep with the female cops, too. My father would not have liked that. He showed more respect for his work than that. I know this."

"Ok, so if your book was based around your father," Hardtop said, "then how do you explain that inscription you wrote in all our books? How we've been your inspiration forever and always?"

"Oh, I write that to everyone," Benjamin answered. "I wrote that in all the yearbooks when I was graduating high school. Everyone else wrote the same things, that one line was mine. Why, when Leslie mentioned all your names, the only one I remembered was Bulletproof, and that was when we buried Uncle Francis."

Bulletproof's followers were insulted. "Hey, I remember being at Francis Janes' funeral service!" Longarm said.

"So was I," Barricade said.

"Me too," Mace added.

"So were we!" everyone else said, except for Doug, Randall and Bulletproof.

"Well, excuse me for being so ignorant," Benjamin replied, "but except for Bulletproof, I hardly remember talking to any of you C.O.P.S. at the burial supper that day."

"Don't worry about it, Ben," Randall said. "That was nine years ago. I don't think you would remember all that well."

Benjamin looked at everyone. "Listen, I don't want us going out like this, you guys not talking to me. Especially you, Roughneck and Aquayouth." Good, he remembered to use their code names, I thought. "As for the rest of you, Leslie always tells me how caring and considerate you are. I really believed that when I first came to these headquarters a few days ago. And I don't know if you know this, but I really want to be friends with you, just like Leslie is. You do really good police work, and I want you to know that I have a lot of respect for what you do. My father always taught me that. That's what got me writing police-themed fiction in the first place."

Benjamin, with words like that," Bulletproof said, "I think you'll be able to start over with us."

"Thank you." Then, they all got together for a group hug. I turned away for a few seconds. I've always hated group hugs. They're ten times sappier than those annoying shows for toddlers, too much sap for me.

When it was over, Benjamin said, "I'll call the airport to schedule a flight for tomorrow. I think I'll spend one more day in Empire City – with you guys."

"That'd be great," Doug said. "Maybe then you can get to know the C.O.P.S. a little better."

"Just promise us one thing," Mirage said. "On your next project, you'll let us all read and critique your writing, chapter by chapter."

"Trust us, we've done hundreds of police reports," Doug added. "We know some things about writing ourselves."

Benjamin smiled. "That's a deal."

I was smiling, too. "Well, that baby's been put to bed," I declared. I went to get my cell phone. "Who hasn't had lunch yet? I'll order us some pizza."

So, what do you all think? Not bad for my first fanfic, eh? Big shout-out to skyefire, who has been the ONLY ONE so far to read and review. I hope this inspires you to put a C.O.P.S. ficcie of your own on here. (I'd love to see something from you all right?) And I already have some ideas for TMNT and BMFM fics, so I'll post here again sometime. Thank you for making me feel welcome. :>)