Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Note: Dear Elbereth this one got weird (kinda pervy too). I tried my best to be candid and not draw too much attention to what they were actually doing. Sorry it's so short, but drawing it out would have been a mistake. And I apologize in advance for the long section written in caps. It was a necessary measure. Thanks to Blonde Archer for suggesting this idea. And PLEASE REVIEW!
"So, my Sam, I was thinking that with all these new clothes, we would want some sexy undergarments to go with them," Frodo said slyly.
Sam raised his eyebrows, "Why, Mr. Frodo!"
"I was just sayin'. Look! There's a store with silky undies! We really should buy some. They could match our outfits!" Frodo pointed to Victoria's Secret.
Sam looked at all the lace in the display case and just couldn't say no, "Alright, Mr. Frodo. Let's go for it."
They walked into the store and started to browse. A sales woman came up to them. "Are you looking for something for your girlfriends?"
Frodo laughed out loud, "No, ma'am, we're looking for something for ourselves."
The woman stuttered, "Sir, you are aware this establishment only services women?"
Sam plucked at a bright purple bra, "That's never really stopped us before."
The woman's eyes got really wide, "Sirs, I think I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
"Well I never! That is sexual discrimination! I will not stand for this injustice!" Frodo climbed onto the counter and started screaming at the top of his lungs. "MEN OF THE MALL! AN INJUSTICE HAS BEEN SERVED ON THIS DAY. THIS SALESWOMAN IS TAKING AWAY OUR RIGHT TO DRESS LIKE WOMEN. SHE HAS NO IDEA HOW UNCOMFORTABLE MEN'S UNDERGARMENTS CAN BE! HAS SHE EVER HAD TO WEAR TIGHTY WHITIES? HAS SHE HAD TO STRUGGLE TO KEEP HER BOXER SHORTS HIDDEN FROM SIGHT IN THIS DAY AND AGE WHERE THE STYLE IS TO SHOW THEM OFF?! I BELIEVE THAT SHE HAS NOT! WHY IS IT ONLY WOMEN WHO CAN ENJOY THE SILKY SMOOTHNESS OF SATIN PANTIES? WHY IS IT THAT ONLY THEY CAN ENJOY THE WONDERFUL FEEL OF LACE ON THEIR SKIN? THE TIME IS NOW, MY BROTHERS! REVOLT AND REAP THE BENEFITS OF LADY'S UNDERWEAR!"
Frodo began to pump his fist in the air, only to be swiftly removed from the counter by a security guard. "Sorry, son, but you're causing quite a scene."
"Unhand me, you ape!" Frodo struggled.
Sam too was being led off by another security guard. They were dragged kicking and screaming to the Security Office.
The guard that was carrying Frodo dropped him into a chair. He motioned for Sam to take a seat and for the other security guard to exit. As soon as they were alone, the guard spoke, "Now, boys, you caused quite a commotion over there."
"I know, Sir, but Mr. Frodo was correct. It is unfair!"
The guard blushed and pulled up his shirt. He grabbed his underwear from the waist of his pants. Low and behold, the big burly man was wearing hot pink silk undies. "It is unfair. But, us guys have to work hard for this luxury. Since I feel your pain, I'll let you off with a warning. If you make any more trouble, I'm afraid I'll have to kick you out. And next time you want lady's underwear, just say you're getting it for you girl friends."
Frodo was astounded, "Thank you, kind sir!" He and Sam shook hands with the security guard. Then continued on their journey.
Note: Dear Elbereth this one got weird (kinda pervy too). I tried my best to be candid and not draw too much attention to what they were actually doing. Sorry it's so short, but drawing it out would have been a mistake. And I apologize in advance for the long section written in caps. It was a necessary measure. Thanks to Blonde Archer for suggesting this idea. And PLEASE REVIEW!
"So, my Sam, I was thinking that with all these new clothes, we would want some sexy undergarments to go with them," Frodo said slyly.
Sam raised his eyebrows, "Why, Mr. Frodo!"
"I was just sayin'. Look! There's a store with silky undies! We really should buy some. They could match our outfits!" Frodo pointed to Victoria's Secret.
Sam looked at all the lace in the display case and just couldn't say no, "Alright, Mr. Frodo. Let's go for it."
They walked into the store and started to browse. A sales woman came up to them. "Are you looking for something for your girlfriends?"
Frodo laughed out loud, "No, ma'am, we're looking for something for ourselves."
The woman stuttered, "Sir, you are aware this establishment only services women?"
Sam plucked at a bright purple bra, "That's never really stopped us before."
The woman's eyes got really wide, "Sirs, I think I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
"Well I never! That is sexual discrimination! I will not stand for this injustice!" Frodo climbed onto the counter and started screaming at the top of his lungs. "MEN OF THE MALL! AN INJUSTICE HAS BEEN SERVED ON THIS DAY. THIS SALESWOMAN IS TAKING AWAY OUR RIGHT TO DRESS LIKE WOMEN. SHE HAS NO IDEA HOW UNCOMFORTABLE MEN'S UNDERGARMENTS CAN BE! HAS SHE EVER HAD TO WEAR TIGHTY WHITIES? HAS SHE HAD TO STRUGGLE TO KEEP HER BOXER SHORTS HIDDEN FROM SIGHT IN THIS DAY AND AGE WHERE THE STYLE IS TO SHOW THEM OFF?! I BELIEVE THAT SHE HAS NOT! WHY IS IT ONLY WOMEN WHO CAN ENJOY THE SILKY SMOOTHNESS OF SATIN PANTIES? WHY IS IT THAT ONLY THEY CAN ENJOY THE WONDERFUL FEEL OF LACE ON THEIR SKIN? THE TIME IS NOW, MY BROTHERS! REVOLT AND REAP THE BENEFITS OF LADY'S UNDERWEAR!"
Frodo began to pump his fist in the air, only to be swiftly removed from the counter by a security guard. "Sorry, son, but you're causing quite a scene."
"Unhand me, you ape!" Frodo struggled.
Sam too was being led off by another security guard. They were dragged kicking and screaming to the Security Office.
The guard that was carrying Frodo dropped him into a chair. He motioned for Sam to take a seat and for the other security guard to exit. As soon as they were alone, the guard spoke, "Now, boys, you caused quite a commotion over there."
"I know, Sir, but Mr. Frodo was correct. It is unfair!"
The guard blushed and pulled up his shirt. He grabbed his underwear from the waist of his pants. Low and behold, the big burly man was wearing hot pink silk undies. "It is unfair. But, us guys have to work hard for this luxury. Since I feel your pain, I'll let you off with a warning. If you make any more trouble, I'm afraid I'll have to kick you out. And next time you want lady's underwear, just say you're getting it for you girl friends."
Frodo was astounded, "Thank you, kind sir!" He and Sam shook hands with the security guard. Then continued on their journey.