The Quest For The Ultimate Hottie! Chapter 5: Round 4!, a tales of symphonia fanfic

Genki: Sorry it's been so long... T-T but I finally wrote the next chapter! Updating for all stories will be slowed due to the fact I'm trying to write two Christmas stories (Shonen/Shojo ai version and perhaps a straight version) and I finally got the summaries typed on the compy. e.e;; I hope this chapter was worth the wait!

PS-The big long phrases of italics are lyrics XD; Oh, and I don't own the songs used in the contests, either.

The Quest For The Ultimate Hottie!!

The Fourth Round!!

Yuan awoke to see that he was back to normal. Getting up, he rubbed his head. "Oh goddess, what happened?..."

"Yuan! You're awake!" Mithos poked him while smiling at him.

"Ack! Don't poke me..."

"I wanted to see if you still felt like plastic. You see, I would've checked before, but Raine threatened me that if I woke you, she'd pull me outta the contest. So now that you're awake, I can poke you!" Smile.

"...are you getting mushy, with me, Mithos?"

"Where would you get that kind of thought?"

"Because...you're being..." Shudder. "Anyway... what happened?"

"Well, you conked out after falling on the ground, and soon the girls showed up and Raine resurrected the others and then we went to Meltokio, and she healed your... dolly problem." Snicker.

"That's not funny Mithos."

"Yes it is!"

"...aren't we dragging away from the original theme of the story?..."

"You're right! Let's get right to the point!" Mithos grabbed Yuan's head and started to make out with him, until Yuan pulled him away.

"Blech! What are you doing?!"

"Shonen-ai and yaoi is definitely hot!"

"You're right, you're right..." Save that for later... Grabbing Yuan's arm, he forced him from the bed. "Come on, they're going to give us the scores!"

Back in the living room of Zelos' house...

Just as the two angels walked in, Sheena was announcing the scores. "The Angels came out with a score of... 12."

"WHAT?!" Kratos and Zelos looked at each other in shock, then looked at Sheena. "WHY?!"

"There were too many hair-styling products in the cart," Presea replied.

The two angels looked at each other. "I thought you got the hair products!" Blink. "Oops..."

"While the Milkshakes came out with a score of 17!"

Lloyd scowled as the half-elves cheered. "Eh, wait a sec!" Silence entered as Lloyd raised his hand in the air. "We can't take this score."

"Why not?..." the professor questioned.

"Because we cheated." The swordsman pretended to be sad, hanging his head. "We took a 'Perfect Party Cart' and bought all that instead. We didn't truly win the contest."

The girls all huddled and then came out with a final decision.

"That just makes it all better!" Colette smiled.

"Eh?!" Lloyd's eyes bugged out.

"You didn't waste as much time! More time to go out on dates and stuff!" the summoner grinned. "We've readjusted your score to a 20!"

"No...way..." Lloyd fainted on his feet, and then fell.

"Eep! My yaoi buddeh!" Zelos ran to him and caught Lloyd.

"Blech...eh?" The brunette opened his eyes to the redhead.

"Hello, hunny."

"Ack!! Get... off!!" He fidgeted until he was dropped. "Ow..."

"Anyway, for the next round, we're going to be throwing the party (which is why we had all the food). And you guys will be singing karaoke!!"

"Uhh..." Lloyd looked at Kratos. Then Kratos looked at Zelos. Then Zelos looked at Mithos. Then Mithos looked at Yuan. Then Yuan looked at Lloyd.

"The males seem surprised by this decision," Presea said.

"I shall sing my beautiful song for you all!!" Zelos balled a fist and stood up.

"Beautiful? You're going to break windows..." Genis laughed.

"YOU TWERP!!" He chased him around the room. Over... and over... and over...

"Regal and Genis can set up the party since they're not participating!" The president looked at the girls as the half-elf stopped in his tracks. Missing him, Zelos kept running in the same, stupid circle.

"WHAT?!? I'M ONLY TWELVE!!"

"And... I'm... ::cough:: old."

"Old?! How does 33 apply for OLD?!?" Sheena shouted.

"Uh... you see... I'm not really human. I'm from this.... other race. Yeah, and uh, we die really fast. Really, really fast. Like, at 35."

"What's the name of this 'other race'?" Raine asked.

"Uh... the Bluehead Race. Yeah, you see, we have blue hair..."

"I see lots of guys with blue hair."

"Well, they hide it." The "Bluehead" came over and whispered. "You see, like half-elves, Blueheads are discriminated against too."

"Riiight..."

"Hey, Yuan!" Colette called out. Eyes bulging, Regal looked to the bluehaired angel. "Are you a Bluehead too?"

"What?" He saw Regal waving his arms and nodding his head.

"A... Bluehead?"

The summoner glared. "Liar."

"H-he just doesn't know!"

"Hm." Presea looked at Regal somewhat disappointed.

"Presea..."

"Okay, that's it!" Genis took a giant pole and guided everyone out. "We-- need-- to-- set-- up!!"

The door shut. The half-elf looked at Regal. "DON'T GO STEALING MEH WOMAN!!" Whacking Regal with the pole on the way, Genis went to fetch decorations.

Meanwhile, outside...

"I'll go invite people!" Zelos' chest suddenly lifted in arrogance (or something), and left in a little trot. (...yeah, don't even question what a "little trot" is.)

And now, a commercial brought to you by the people who care about your hunger.

Lloyd: ::dressed in a chicken suit:: WHY did I agree to this?

Zelos: ::dressed in an Easter bunny suit:: ::smiles;hops to Lloyd:: Hey buddeh! Boy, are you making me hungry!

Lloyd: Where is this going?... HOW COME I DIDN'T GET A SCRIPT?!?

Zelos: But you're missing something!! ::pulls out chocolate syrup and starts pouring it on Lloyd:: Ah, that's better!!

Lloyd: Omigawddess! What are you doing?!

Zelos: There! Now you're tasty!! ::starts licking Lloyd's cheek::

Lloyd: ::extreme blushing:: WHAT COMMERCIAL IS THIS?!?

Announcer dude: It's just like on Easter... except the chicken is real. Chocolate Chicken: Buy it and eat it... today! We'renotresponsibleforanyupsetstomachsoranysicknesseswhatsoeverthatarecausedbecauseyoudecidedto

eatthis.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled program...

To make a long story short, the party was ready, and guests had been invited. Everyone sat in Zelos' living room, bored... for the moment.

"When will they get here?..." Genis whined.

"Soon, soon." Raine said.

And at that moment, a big flock of people came in, and everyone was lost in the sea of people.

"Zelos, how many people did you invite?!?" Sheena shouted.

"Um... a lot?"

"AHH!! HELP ME!!!" Genis "drowned" within the crowd.

He was lifted up by two strong hands and set down on someone's shoulders. "Gotcha!!"

"Regal?..." Genis' eyes shined. "Thanks..."

"No problem." (Aw... Regal and Genis moment! No, you pervs, don't even think it...)

A stage that had been set up (don't ask how, go along with me here...) was empty, and Kratos and Yuan flew up onto it.

"Okay everyone, settle down..."

"Kratos! You've got to be firm. Mean. Show 'em who's boss. BE QUIET!!!"

"Yes, that worked very well, Yuan."

"Shaddup."

The redhead flew up to them next. "All right everyone, time to quiet down..."

Silence.

"Shit, how'd he do it?..." the other angels groaned.

"Okay, now I believe the ladies have somethin' to say!" Zelos winked at them as Raine, Sheena, Presea and Colette walked onto the stage.

"For the next contest, these guys will be singing karaoke for you!!!" A big chorus of cheers (mostly comprised of girls) rang through the room. "Guys, come on up!!" The three angels already on the stage walked to the front of the stage, and then Mithos was forced to drag Lloyd onto the stage.

"No! Let me go! LET GOO!!"

The girls squealed in delight. Then there came a small group of girls: "LLOYD IRVING'S HOTT!!" (::suddenly reminded of band competitions::)

Lloyd's face started to camouflage with his shirt as Kratos laughed and patted his shoulder.

Raine pulled out a microphone. "You other guys can leave... except Yuan!" And they left (except for Yuan) and they immediately aimed towards the tables with food.

"You're singing before you get hyper... and you're in last place anyway!! Yuan will be singing Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz!!" Girls cheered as Yuan took the microphone and Raine said something like "hit it!" as she walked off stage. Music began to play.

"I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on

Yeah... Ha Ha!
Finally someone let me out of my cage
Now, time for me is nothing cos I'm counting no age
Now I couldn't be there
Now you shouldn't be scared
I'm good at repairs
And I'm under each snare
Intangible
Bet you didn't think so I command you to
Panoramic view
Look I'll make it all manageable
Pick and choose
Sit and lose
All you different crews
Chicks and dudes
Who you think is really kickin' tunes?
Picture you gettin' down in a picture tube
Like you lit the fuse
You think it's fictional
Mystical? Maybe
Spiritual
Hearable
What appears in you is a clearer view cos you're too crazy
Lifeless
To know the definition for what life is
Priceless
For you because I put you on the hype shit
You like it?
Gunsmokin' righteous with one token
Psychic among those
Possess you with one go

I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on

The essence the basics
Without it you make it
Allow me to make this
Childlike in nature
Rhythm
You have it or you don't that's a fallacy
I'm in them
Every sprouting tree
Every child apiece
Every cloud you see
You see with your eyes
I see destruction and demise
Corruption in disguise
From this fu-::bleep:: enterprise
Now I'm sucking to your lies
Through Russ, though not his muscles but the percussion he provides
with me as a guide
But y'all can see me now cos you don't see with your eye
You perceive with your mind
That's the inner
So I'm gonna stick around with Russ and be a mentor
Bust a few rhymes so mother fu-::bleep::
Remember where the thought is
I brought all this
So you can survive when law is lawless
Feelings, sensations that you thought were dead
No squealing, remember
(that it's all in your head)

I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless, but not for long
My future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on

My future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
My future" (1)

Applause rang through as Yuan gave the microphone to Sheena.

"Let's give him another hand!!"

The applause got louder, and a bloody hand was tossed on stage.

The angel twitched and ran off somewhere else.

"Well, that's the last time I say that..." Kicking the hand away, the summoner summoned the next one. "Mithos, get your ass over here, your turn!!"

"All right!!" He flew over and grabbed the microphone. "This one is Lose Yourself by Eminem! Hit it, ladies!"

"Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

Yo, His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's chokin, how everybody's chokin now
The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah!
Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked
He's so mad, but he won't give up that easy
No, he won't have it, he knows his whole back city's ropes
It don't matter, he's dope
He knows that, but he's broke
He's so stacked that he knows
When he goes back to his mobile home, that's when it's
Back to the lab again yo
This whole rap city
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo,

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime you better,

His soul's escaping, through this hole that it's gaping
This world is mine for the taking
Make me king, as we move toward a, new world order
A normal life is borin, but superstardom's close to post mortom
It only grows harder, only grows hotter
He blows us all over these hoes is all on him
Coast to coast shows, he's know as the globetrotter
Lonely roads, God only knows
He's grown farther from home, he's no father
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter
But hold your nose cause here goes the cold water
These ho's don't want him no mo, he's cold product
They moved on to the next schmoe who flows
He nose dove and sold nada
So the soap opera is told and unfolds
I suppose it's old partner, but the beat goes on
Da da dum da dum da da

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo, you better

No more games, I'ma change what you call rage
Tear this mothafu-bleep roof off like two dogs caged
I was playin in the beginnin, the mood all changed
I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage
But I kept rhymin and stepwritin the next cypher
Best believe somebody's payin the pied piper
All the pain inside amplified by the fact
That I can't get by with my 9 to 5
And I can't provide the right type of life for my family
Cause man, these goddamn food stamps don't buy diapers
And it's no movie, there's no Makai Pfeiffer, this is my life
And these times are so hard and it's getting even harder
Tryin to feed and water my seed, plus
Teeter-totter caught up between trying to be a father and a pre-madonna
Baby mama drama's screamin on and
Too much for me to wanna
Stay in one spot, another jam or not
Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail
I've got to formulate a plot or I end up in jail or shot
Success is my only mothafu-::bleep:: option, failure's not
Mom, I love you, but this trailer's got to go
I cannot grow old in Salem's lot
So here I go is my shot.
Feet fail me not or not this may be the only opportunity that I got

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime you better,

You can do anything you set your mind to, man"

Once again, there was nothing heard but girls screaming.

Stealing the microphone, Colette took the microphone. "Umm... what was I supposed to say?"

The other girls fell over. "Let's give another round of applause to Mithos!"

"Oh yeah! Let's give another round of applause to Mithos!"

Everybody started clapping their hands in circles.

"Goddess, this is just getting stupid..." Raine sighed.

Mithos flew away. "Um, our next contestant is Zelos... Zelos?... Where are you?..."

At the food table...

"Hey, what's this?" Lloyd picked up a bottle. "Hm, maybe it's soda or something?" He took off the cork and took a sip. "Eh, it's okay... might as well finish it off though..."

"Zelos, that's quite disturbing, could you do that sometime else?..." Yuan shielded his eyes as Zelos was making out with a younger boy.

Reluctantly, Zelos pulled away from him. "Sorry, hunny."

"That's okay!"

"Look, it's a free country!"

"...no, it's not. You're thinking of a legend called 'America'..."

"Well, damn you!" Zelos was about to go back to the liplock when Kratos came in.

"It's your turn for karaoke, Zelos."

Cursing quite loudly, Zelos gave the boy a final peck. "We'll finish up later tonight, okay, Toboe?" He winked to suggest something.

"Okay! I'll be waiting!" Toboe cried as Zelos flew to the stage. (2)

"Zelos will be singing Baby One More Time, the Bowling for Soup version!" (3)

"Hah, and it'll be good, don't you worry!" Zelos winked and took the microphone. Unfortunately, he hadn't warmed up yet (4), and fortunately, Genis was standing closeby. (A/N: Think Freaky Friday XD Oh, and if you're one of those people who skip over lyrics, watch carefully between these.)

"Show me
How ju want it to be
Tell me baby
'cause I need to know, now,
OH because!!
My loneliness is killing me
A-a-and I..."

Genis couldn't take it anymore and approached the stage slowly with kendama in hand.

"I must confess
I still believe, sti-ill believe!
If I'm not with you I lose my mind
Give me a siiiiiiiign!
Hit me babe- OOF!!"

Zelos fell to the stage. "You asked for it." Genis laughed as he ran to hide.

"YOU BRAT!!" Zelos automatically recovered. "I'll sing my song and then go chase after him!!" There must have been some spell casted on him, because his voice suddenly got better...

"Oh baby baby
How was I supposed to know
That something wasn't right here

Oh baby baby
I shouldn't have let you go
And now you're out of sight, yeah
Show me how you want it to be
Tell me baby cause I need to know now

Because...
My loneliness is killing me
And I, I must confess I still believe
When I'm not with you I lose my mind
Give me a sign
Hit me baby one more time

Oh baby baby
The reason I breathe is you
And girl you've got me blinded

Oh pretty baby
There's nothing that I would do
It's not the way I planned it
Show me how you want it to be
Tell me baby cause I need to know now

OH because...
My loneliness is killing me
And I, I must confess I still believe, still believe
When I'm not with you I lose my mind
Give me a sign
Hit me baby one more time

Oh baby baby
How was I supposed to know
(How was I supposed to know)

Oh pretty baby
I shouldn't have let you go

And I must confess
that my loneliness is killing me now
Don't you know I still believe?
That you will be here
and give me a sign
Hit me baby one more time

My loneliness is killing me
And I, I must confess I still believe, still believe
When I'm not with you I lose my mind
Give me a sign
Hit me baby one more time"

Zelos bowed as the girls got so loud that nothing in Meltokio was heard but screaming girls. Old men and women had to cover their ears from dying, small children hid in their closets, and adults all went to the nut house.

But that really doesn't have to do with QFTUH!!...

Much.

Presea took the liberty of taking the microphone. "Thank you Zelos. Give it up one more time for Zelos..." Everyone stopped cheering and all said that they gave up. Then Zelos ran to find the little half-elf.

"I'll get you, and your little Kendama too!! AHAHAHAHAA!!!"

"This... is really lame..." the summoner said. (she was commenting on the audience's reaction.)

"Next up is Kratos." Kratos flew to the stage (I think everyone knows how to fly... o.o; Oh YEAH, they all happen to be angels... O.O; I just noticed that...) and took the microphone.

"Thank you PRESEAAAAA!! I will be singin' Dude by Aerosmith, dedicated to Mithos and Zelos!!" (5)

That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady

Cruise into a bar on the shore
Her picture graced the grime on the door
She's a long lost love at first bite
Baby maybe you're wrong but you know it's all right
That's right

That, that
That, that

Backstage we're havin' the time
of our live until somebody say
Forgive me if I seem out of line
Then she whipped out her gun and tried to blow me away!

That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady

Never judge a book by it's cover
or who you gonna love by your lover
Sayin' love put me wise to her love in disguise
She had the body of a Venus, Lord imagine my surprise.

That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady

So baby let me follow you down (let me take a peek dear)
Baby let me follow you down (do me, do me, do me all night)
Baby let me follow you down (turn the other cheek dear)
Baby let me follow you down (do me, do me, do me, do me)

Oo, what a funky lady
Oo, she like it, like it, like it, like that.
Oo he was a lady!

That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady

Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady"

It was a good thing only Mithos heard the song, because he was not happy...

I WILL get you Kratos. That is a... uhh... what are those things called again? Ah, I believe it's called a cheesecake... It is NOT! It's called sarcasm... ...Shoot, my mind split again... You got THAT right, you bastard! Now, get 'im!!

And Mithos continued to fight off the voice in his mind.

Giving back the microphone, Kratos went to fetch Lloyd... who was leaning against the wall, hiccuping over and over.

"What's wrong with you?..."

"That soda ::hic:: was taaasty! ::hic::"

"Soda?..." He saw the empty beer bottles. "Uh, Lloyd... that's not soda..."

"Still ::hic:: tasty!"

"Damn it, you can't sing with the hiccups!!" Lloyd was incapable of stopping himself, so Kratos took the liberty of doing it himself...

"INCEST!!" People cried.

"What?!? I'm just getting rid of the hiccups so he can sing!" (6)

"INCEST!! INCEST!! INCEST!!" People pointed at Kratos and kept saying "incest" over and over... (well, that excludes the girls who drooled with saying incest...) One man shouted, "MY EYES!" (7)

Picking him up, Kratos flew back to the stage with Lloyd. "Here..." He set down Lloyd and left the stage.

"Uhh... yes... Lloyd will be singing The Art of Losing by American Hi-Fi."

Lloyd usually sang really, really bad. But the effect of alcohol caused him to sing really, really well...

"Last call now I'm outta time
And I don't got no valentine
Singled out, now I stand alone
The underdog in a modern world
Suburbia is hot tonight
But nothing seems to feel alright
I don't want your sympathy
I just need a little therapy
At least that's what they say to me

Hey ho let's go
I'm gonna start a riot
You don't wanna fight it
One two fu-::bleep:: you
Don't tell me what to do
I don't wanna be like you
Can't you see it's killing me
I'm my own worst enemy
Knock me down I'll keep on moving
It's the art of losing

Fit the mold and do what you're told
Get a job and start growing old
9 to 5 can make your dreams come true
But I don't wanna be like you
I'm not cool and I'll never be
I break the rules and I guarantee
I don't want your sympathy
I just need a little therapy
At least that's what they say to me

You call me a loser
Say I'm just a user
But I'll just keep on moving
Cause that's the art of losing

Wahhhooo (It's the art of losing)
Wahhhooo (It's the art of losing)

We're the kids
We're the kids
We're the kids in America
We're the kids
We're the kids
We're the kids in America"

Taking back the microphone, Raine shouted, "Everyone, one more shout for Lloyd!" There was one shout, and silence.

"Goddess, you people are morons!!" Shaking her head, she got her act back together. (8) "That ends the contest! Now, all of you vote!! Who sang the best? Yuan? Mithos? Zelos? Kratos? Or Lloyd? Only you can choose!" And a final applause came as this chapter ended.

A/N: Numbers first. o.o;

(1) I noticed these lyrics were different than other ones I saw. Lemme know if they're wrong. Actually, that goes for all lyrics... e.e;;

(2) I'm sorry for those of you who didn't like that with Toboe... I told Toboe-san I'd put him in there, and I kept to my word...

(3) It's originally by Britney Spears, but on the Freaky Friday soundtrack, it's redone a little bit different by Bowling for Soup.

(4) Or so he said... -.-; I think he just can't sing...

Zelos: Hey! TooT (That's a face with two hands in the middle... not "toot") That's not very nice...

I picked this one mainly because the guy singing it in Freaky Friday sounded JUST like Zelos. O.O;;

(5) I've never heard this song... u.u; It was a suggestion from Hitokiri the Battosai (Thanks for your suggestions, too! They really helped!)

(6) HURRAH EERIE QUEERIE!!!! X3 Get it, you shonen-ai fans!! ::takes Yui's copies and hides them where she'll never find them::

(7) I stoled it from the Spongebob Movie XD When King Neptune takes the paper bag off his head, everybody in the Krusty Krab shouts, "BALD!" and one man screams, "MY EYES!" as his eyes fry. Such a funny movie... I'm a goofy goober, yeah!

(8) Get it? Her act back together, and she's on a stage?... Hahahaha??... -.-;

Now I can get working on my Christmas stories, and hopefully Lloyd's Sick! Sometime too. Ah, but did you know that QFTUH!! can actually be said as a word? It's... (Kwif-tah) XD I say it like that all the time.

If any lyrics were wrong, please email me or say so in the review. I will not take any votes. Okay? Raine was only telling the people (girls) in the story.

See ya soon, everyone!