A/N: I'm sorry it took a while to update!! T-T I was working on other inspired works and Lloyd's Sick!, but now I can update this!! Um, because I said so. o.o;

And because I feel like it, the disclaimer shall return! Oh, Kratos!

Kratos: You call me by my real name, I respond.

Genki: You respond whether or not I use your real name. ::snicker:: Anyway, do the disclaimer!

Kratos: Why me?

Genki: Do it, or. . . ::holds up Nuclear Medicine Technology: Procedures and Quick Reference by Pete Shackett:: I'll use my mom's school books against you!!

Kratos: . . . Uh. . . Genki doesn't own Tales of Symphonia, and any of its characters. Or the characters from another game that she uses in this chapter. She doesn't own the book she's threatening me with either. It's her mother's. Good enough?

Genki: Yup! ::puts down book:: If you're wondering, my mom went back to school for an edumacation, and she's still in school. XD

The Quest For The Ultimate Hottie!! (edited/unscripted version)

The Fifth Round!!

After a long period of time between people (girls) voting, Lloyd collapsing on stage from getting drunk, and Yuan being guided away from sugar, votes were finally in.

"Thank you guys for voting." Regal said dully. He had been forced upon the other girls to announce the results, or. . . MAKE-OVER!!! ::cue scary music, shrieks, and a snail::

"The results are in. The points will be given according to the placement of votes. In fourth place is. . .

"Mithos."

"Huh?!" Mithos shouted. "No one liked my rappin' skills?!" Everyone around him inched away. "Damn you all!"

"There's someone below you Mithos," one person commented.

"Shut-up, mortal!" That brave soul was blasted away. It was silent until Regal spoke up again.

"In third place is. . .

"Kratos."

"Haha, I scored higher than Mithos!!" he bellowed.

"But, there's two higher than you. . ." Raine commented.

"So? I kicked Mithos' ass, and that's all that counts!"

"In second place is. . .

"Yuan."

Yuan stood there, silent, as cheering got louder. "Uh, okay."

"And in first. . . is. . ."

Insert long pause.

"Zelos."

"Whoohoo! My hunnies love me!" He had Genis in a headlock, but he let go and kicked him. The half-elf, not happy at all, attached himself to his leg and started to bite.

"Ow, you twerp! Get off!! OUCH!! Stop-it!"

"Which leaves Lloyd in last."

But Lloyd was still unconscious, and couldn't respond.

"With the points added on, the results as shown on the screen."

He pointed to a giant screen as a score board popped up.

First Place:Lloyd Irving: 8(plus)9(plus)20(plus)10 47 points
Second Place: Mithos Yggdrasill: 5(plus)8.5(plus)20(plus)11 44.5 points
Third Place: Zelos Wilder: 9(plus)9.1272418208052485160(plus)12(plus)14 44.1272418208052485160 points
Fourth Place: Kratos Aurion: 10(plus)9(plus)12(plus)12 43 points
Fifth Place: Yuan: 08.75(plus)monkey(plus)20(plus)13 41.75 pointsand a monkey

"Thank you, and see you later. Yeah, right!" He tossed the microphone caught by Kratos, and ran away. "You'll never catch me! AHAHAHAHAA!!"

Raine took the microphone from Kratos. "For our last contest--"

"The last?!" Kratos sobbed.

"Yes. . . " Raine sighed. "It's such a sad thing-- Anyway! Our last contest is. . . .

"PIE EATING CONTEST!!"

"That's so unoriginal," Yuan groaned.

. . . Oh darn!! ::pulls out remote and pushes rewind::

"testnocgnitaeeipsitsetnoctsalruo. . ."

::pushes play::

"Our last contest is. . .

"Oyster pudding eating contest!"

"Ew, oyster pudding?!" Kratos blanched. "Yuan, keep your mouth shut! Now we have to eat oyster pudding instead of delicious pie!"

"I'll have to open it to kick your ass!"

"I can eat anything!" Mithos shouted.

"I heard food." Lloyd now sat up, eyes wide. "Foooood. . ."

"Yes, that's a good monster, AHAHAHAH!!" Kratos hugged his son. "My little creation. . . is complete!"

"Fooooooooood. . ."

"Can we just start before the authoress-- starts eating," Mithos groaned.

What?! Can't I eat?! I'm hungry! Mm. . . potato roll! Sorry, I'll keep writing. . . -.-;

A few minutes later. . .

"Fooooooooood. . . " Lloyd stared at the food in front of him.

"All right, when I say "Go," start eating! on your mark, get set. . . LEAF! You can't eat, I didn't say it! Ready, set. . . ROCK! Ready, set, GO!!"

And the eating began. Lloyd quickly gobbled up the pudding in a flash. Kratos and Zelos were trying their best to eat the pudding, but it was icky. Meanwhile, Yuan and Mithos were glaring at each other, slowly eating the pudding.

Bad idea, might I add.

Kratos soon finished, followed by Zelos. After a long while, Yuan ate the rest. Mithos gave up. The pudding was too disgusting.

"I thought you said you could eat anything," Yuan snickered.

"Hmph, shut-up." Mithos glared.

"So, Lloyd's in first, Kratos in second, Zelos in third, Yuan in fourth, and Mithos in fifth!" Sheena ran off to add up final scores.

"WHAT-- Th-that was a contest?!" Lloyd shouted.

"Yes, my son, and you won well. Tell me, how did you stand its awesome powers like that?"

"My dad, Dirk, used to make it all the time." He blanched.

"Well, now what?" Yuan crossed his legs and clapsed his hands together.

"Say hello to my bunny!" Mithos pulled out a white rabbit. "His name is Carl!"

". . . Get that animal away from the table."

"He's no animal! He's polite and civilized!" Carl's red eyes glared at Yuan, and Yuan glared back. "Yuan, you're scaring Carl!" As he took the rabbit into his arms, Colette walked over.

"Aw, a bunny! Can I pet him?"

"Of course!"

Colette reached out to pet the bunny when it bit her hand off. She shrieked in pain and horror as blood splurted everywhere.

"Oh, shit! Not again!"

"Again?" Everyone glared at him.

"Uh, gotta go!" Mithos flew out, never to be seen again.

Carl rampaged around the room. Shrieks were everywhere, so loud that the children still hiding in the closets screamed in terror, the old men and women couldn't cover their ears well enough and all died (even if they were deaf), and the people running the nut house went nuts themselves.

"My hand!" Colette shrieked. Raine came running with the hand thrown on stage from the last chapter, and somehow repaired the damage. The hand fit like a sock on a foot. Perfect.

"Thanks Professor!"

"No problem!"

"How do we stop this killer bunny?!" Lloyd shouted.

"The name's Carl. . ." Carl snarled.

"Yeah, yeah. Carl. But we don't have any of our weapons!"

"Dwarven vow #1304: Killer bunnies should only cause chaos in jungles!" A 14-year-old girl shouted, bursting in the door. "AKA: You shouldn't keep them as pets!" The girl who entered had brown hair with blonde highlights at about a medium length. She was about 5' 5" last time she checked, and she was wearing a safari outfit.

"Oh no, not you!" Sheena shouted.

"You know that hunny?" Zelos turned to Sheena.

"She threatened me to start this whole thing!"

"Say what?!" The guys turned to stare again at the girl.

"The name's Genki!" She gave a spin and a cheer. "Now it's time to put this Dwarven vow into effect!" She ran after Carl, quickly catching it by threatening it with Pyschology, Themes and Variations: Fifth Edition (Briefer Version) by Wayne Weitin. Now in a cage, Carl was taken by Genki.

"She's gone," Sheena sighed, relieved.

But she quickly returned. "I have the final scores! In last place, with a final of score--"

"Hey, how'd you get the scores?" Lloyd asked, followed quickly by Raine in hysterics.

"Where's the scores?!"

"Right here, Raine! I got 'em!"

"You. . . know my name?"

"Of course I do! And same with all of you! Anyway, in last--"

"How do you know?" Genis asked, curious.

". . ." She wasn't sure how to respond. "Just. . . let it go. In la--"

"Are you a minion of Mithos'?" Lloyd questioned.

"NO! SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE I POUND BOOKS ABOUT NUCLEAR MEDICINE TECHNOLOGY IN YOUR HEADS!!"

Even though they had no clue what nuclear medicine was, they were afraid and were quiet. So was the rest of the room.

Hastily grabbing a microphone, her loud voice got louder. "In fourth place, with final a score of 45.75 is. . . Yuan, uh. . . I can't read the last name, it's smudged. . ."

Seeming bored, he walked up to Genki. "So, what'd I win?"

"This $20 certificate to the sugar factory!" Genki handed the cerificate to Yuan.

"The sugar factory?"

"The sweetest place on-- oops! That's Hershey." She smiled as she giggled. "It's a big candy factory."

"Uh oh. . ." Everyone stared at each other in horror.

"In third place, with a final score of 51.127 . . . I'm not reading all these damn decimals!! It's Zelos Wilder!"

"THIRD?!" His mouth gaped open.

"You win a free trip to the spa!" Genki handed another certificate to Zelos.

"Uh, thanks hunny!"

"Sure, anytime for the winners! In second place, with a score of 52 is. . . Kratos Aurion!"

"Dammit! Second! Well, what'd I win?"

"This brand NEW CAR!" The Spiderman midget from the second chapter drove a shiny purple and green car in. "The Grasshopper Man mobile!"

(Kratos: Of course. . . You just had to put in Grasshopper Man, didn't you?

Genki: DUH!

Kratos: You are a--)

"Hm, can we call it the Kratos Speedy Car instead?"

"Um, sure. . ."

"PEDESTRIAN BOWLING!!" He jumped in the car and drove in circles in the room, running random pedestrians over.

"So, that leaves us with first and last place! In first place, winning the grand title of The Ultimate Hottie!!, with a final score of 57 is . . ."

There was a long pause.

"Lloyd Irving!!" A somewhat loud applause came from whoever hadn't been bowled over yet, as Lloyd stood there, appalled.

"I. . . won?"

Leaping out of the car, Kratos glomped his son. "I knew you'd make me proud!"

"But-- but. . . I wasn't supposed to-- NOOOOOO!! DAMN THAT PUDDING!!"

Genki laughed hysterically. "Lloyd, not only have you won the grand title of being The Ultimate Hottie!!, but you also won a week's vacation to Santa Claus' Yellow Submarine in the North Pole and a year's supply of liver and Dwarven Vows!"

"Santa has a Yellow Submarine?" Presea stared at Genki as she nodded.

"Duh! If the North Pole's underwater, how does he make the toys? Oh, we all live in a Yellow Submarine, Yellow Submarine, Yellow Submarine!" Genki sang as the others closed their ears.

"That's not very nice!" She pulled out a book, and they all became stiff.

"And Mithos Yggdrasill wins last, and wins a keychain! Mithos? Mithos! Come claim your keychain! . . .Fine then, jerk!" Genki poked the keychain back into her pocket.

"So, that's it? The contest is over?" Colette asked.

"Um, yeah," Genki responded.

"Let's all celebrate with cookies!!" Cookies flew in through the doors and windows. "Nutritional cookies!!"

Everyone shrieked with joy as Raine looked through the door. "Who--"

"Oh, no!!" Genki cowered. "No more videos!! Or goats!"

"I'm Mr. Fluffykins!" An old guy with a gray wig entered the room.

"Get away from me, you freakin' loser!" Genki cowered. Screams of horror rang through the room, because not only were the cookies nutritional, but they were disgusting.

"These cookies suck!" Lloyd shouted.

"That's not very nice," Mr. Fluffykins lectured. "It's 'I don't like these cookies very much.'"

"I don't like your face very much!"

"Wah! Somebody help!"

Another girl bursted in. "Dwarven vow #594: Nutritional cookies suck, and the maker of them must die!" The girl, Genis' age, had medium brown hair, about shoulder length. She was hyper on the soda she had just drank, but that's not really important.

"Kame! Thank goddess you're here!" Genki's eyes went sparkly. "Stop this freak!"

"You know her too?" Genis blinked.

"No, of course I don't know her, she's just my little sister!"

"Duh, you know me!"

"Guh, nevermind! Did you bring them?"

"Yes, the goats are here." Suddenly, a teenage boy with a tiara taming his blue hair and a legion of goats busted through the wall. The boy got up from all fours and shouted with a pointed finger towards Mr. Fluffykins.

"Get him, my goat legion!" And the goats attacked, driving Mr. Fluffykins away.

"Thank you, Kame!" Genki hugged her sister.

"Martha!" Another boy came in, with flaming red hair.

"It's Marth!"

"Get your butt back home!" He tugged on his ear and dragged him away.

"Hey! Ow, cut it out Roy!"

And they were gone.

"What the ::bleep:: was that?" Yuan said.

"Mr. Fluffykins." Genki shuddered.

Kratos jumped back into the Kratos Speedy Car and went back to bowling. Lloyd was strapped in the passenger seat, forced to keep score.

Meanwhile, Zelos was trying to get some girls, but ended up annoying them. Raine hit him over the head and he was knocked unconscious.

Genki and Kame were trying to shove cookies down Yuan's throat. Yuan thought they may have been poisoned, so he resisted until the two sisters finally got a couple in his mouth.

"Oh, it's-- SugarwhyohTHANKYOUgirls!" He broke free of their grip as they crossed their arms, looked at each other, and nodded in glee.

Yuanyan ran around the room, playing with expensive equipment until there was lots of explosions. Kratos and Lloyd drove the car around until everyone was either unconscious or dead. (Don't worry, all the heroes from ToS were just unconscious!)

"Well, look at that. What's my score?"

"Um, a lot?"

"Oh yeah, son! Take it from me, Pedestrian Bowling is the second best!"

". . . what's the best, then?"

"Following lemmings over cliffs with a car!" The car was driven out of the room as Lloyd struggled free.

"Dad, how will we live?!"

"Just fly before you hit the bottom!"

"B-but Dad! I'm tied to the carseat, can't get free! Ah, no, Dad! Somebody help me!!"

The unconscious girls got up. "The Ultimate Hottie!! is gonna die! Let's go chase him!"

"Okay!"

And they all chased him to the cliff. . .

The End.

Genki: Whew! It's done. o.o; I thought I'd never find a place to end! If you're wondering who Mr. Fluffykins is, it's a guy that me and Kame made up for dumb stuff. She left to take a shower, but she gets credit for helping! (She helped with the whole Mr. Fluffykins sequence, and did most of her own dialogue!)

Lloyd: I can't believe you wrote that.

Genki: Neither could I, that last chapter was crap. Except for Pedestrian Bowling! XD Anyway, I just want to thank all the reviewers out there! You guys pushed me to keep this going, and I learned that I need to plan things ahead of time. o.o; Also, I enjoyed meeting some of you! It was cool to finally get some fans for my writing! (You guys really flatter me too much! n.n;) Thanks also for waiting patiently as I wrote this. Wow, I'm getting so mushy! Isn't it a disappointment that my grandparent's didn't bring over any oyster pudding leftovers from Christmas?

Lloyd: Ew, no.

Genki: Oh, come on! It's not that terrible! I only blanched when I tasted it at Christmas! (Yes, my grandparents actually make it every Christmas. o.o;) Speaking of leftovers, I'm starving. . . I haven't eaten anything today except that roll, and it's 10:57(AM)!

Thanks to everyone who made this possible! Maybe soon, I'll be able to start my newer fanfic, Banana Mana Mania! (Look for it!)