Disclaimer: since I always forget, because is makes me so sad, I still have to say I DON'T OWN INUYASHA OR THE SONG 'SWEETEST GOODBYE!' There. Happy? -cries-
Sweetest Goodbye
Here they were. It seemed like it would take forever to get here. They all wanted it so bad, so bad it hurt. None of them wanted to be here at the same time. They were scared, and felt unprepared. 'What ifs' and 'buts' ran through everyone's heads. They knew this day was going to come. They never thought it would happen so soon. No matter what it always was 'tomorrow' and it felt like it would never be 'today'. That all changed.
Owning every shard that Naraku didn't possess, they went out in search of him. Ready for battle, but scared beyond all belief. Everyone's face read the same mask. Only grim determination, anger, and anticipation.
'We all want to look strong, even though I have never felt weaker. All the training I have done, feels like it had amounted to nothing. I don't think can help me now. I know he's got dirty tricks up his slimy worthless sleeves. I'm so scared. I won't admit it under pain and torture, but I am… so scared. Not of the pain, not of the battle ahead, but what might happen. I don't want to loose anyone here, especially…' Sango was deep in thought, as was everyone else in the group. Without even realizing it, Sango's gaze shifted to Miroku. She studied his handsome features, trying to memorize them all.
'What if I never see him again?' she though sadly. She felt her heart pang. She did love him, but she couldn't ever be bold enough to say anything. Sango was so scared, but there was nothing she could do. She pulled up her defences and put on her game-face. It was almost time for battle.
'What if this is goodbye…?'thought Miroku desperately. His eyes searched Sango's face, watching emotions play across her. She tried so hard to keep those emotions bottled up and deep within, but Miroku could read her like an open book most of the time. He noticed in her eyes, a hint of something different. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but it was not something usual for Sango to show.
'Maybe, just maybe, she is as scared as I am. Maybe, for once, we feel the same way' the Houshi thought. He sighed inwardly, thinking of how much he cared for the young demon exterminator, and how she didn't seem to feel the same. He knew, no matter what, he was going to be there for her, with outstretched arms and an open heart. He just hoped, and prayed that this wasn't going to be goodbye for any of them. His heart wrenched.
'What if I lose her?' Miroku held back the tears that welled up at the thought of it. This Houshi wasn't a sensitive guy, but with a life altering, and possibly ending, battle before them, everything hit him a little harder.
Where you are seems to be
As far as an eternity
Outstretched arms open hearts
And if it never ends then when do we start?
I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive
"Miroku! Watch out!" called the taijiya. Seeing he wasn't going to act quick enough, she jumped forward, pushing him back, to safety. Sango screamed in pain, as one of Naraku's many limbs tore through the side of her slim body.
"Sango!" Miroku shouted out.
Suddenly, everything was moving in slow motion. He watched Sango's body spin, hit the ground hard, and roll once or twice. The battle no longer concerned him, not as long as Sango was hurt. He heard Inuyasha yell, but he wasn't paying attention. Not even a second later, he wished he had have. I blinding blast hit Miroku. Pain ripped through his body, every fibre of him aching intolerably.
'N-no!' he shrieked in his mind. The last thing he heard was Kagome's screams before everything was black.
Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you comeback
I have some things to say
"Come on Sango. You can't sit here all day. You need to move around, or else you won't heal properly. Just sitting there isn't helping him, and it's hurting you. Please, come for a walk with me at least. Just a short one" Kagome pleaded with her best friend. Sango complied, grudgingly, and walked with Kagome. After a long silence, finally Sango was the first to speak.
"Do you think he will ever get better?" she asked, her voice full of grief, her eyes full of pain and sorrow.
"I don't know for sure Sango. I'm sorry" she said, barely speaking above a whisper. Kagome too seemed distraught. Kagome had worked hard at keeping up morale around the village. All her work had done very little and put more strain on her. As the least injured Kagome took it upon herself to care for the others, blaming herself for any of this ever happening. She felt if she hadn't broke the jewel, her best friends would not be nearly dead, or badly injured. She forgot to remember that the jewel had brought them all together, and if she hadn't broke it, she wouldn't have these best friends in the first place.
"It isn't your fault, why are you sorry" Sango replied after another long silence.
"Yes it is" Kagome replied, her voice low.
"How could this possibly be you fault?" exclaimed Sango, shocked her friend would think such a thing.
"I broke the jewel in the first place! If it weren't for me, none of this would have happened!" the girl replied, her eyes brimming with tears.
"Your right" was all Sango said for a moment. Tears spilled down Kagome's cheeks and she sobbed quietly in the forest, collapsing on the ground in a wave of sorrow.
"If it weren't for you, none of this would have happened. I wouldn't have met you, Inuyasha, or Miroku. You wouldn't know me or Miroku either. You would barely know Inuyasha. Don't forget Shippou! What would he do without you as his mother figure. If you hadn't shattered the jewel, Naraku would have destroyed the village to get it, along with thousands of other demons. Once Naraku had the whole jewel, he would have easily done…whatever he wants the jewel for. Do you realize you potentially saved thousands of lives!" she continued.
"At the risk and potential death of my best friends" was Kagome's muffled reply.
"They would have died anyways, with Naraku having that much power. Now don't you dare pity yourself or blame yourself! Inuyasha, Miroku and I all need you!" she commanded, lifting her best friend up from off the ground.
Kagome smiled at her friend, and giggled slightly.
"What is so funny?" asked Sango exasperatedly. Kagome smiled.
"You called Miroku by his name!" she exclaimed, now full out laughing. Sango rolled her eyes and headed back to the hut that Miroku was in.
"Hi" Sango said softly to the unconscious Monk lying on the futon. Sango examined Miroku's features, looking for any change in his state.
"He hasn't changed at all child. At least the Houshi is stable, be happy of that" Kaedae said kindly, entering the hut and seeing Sango watching overMiroku.
"I just need to change his dressings and bandages. I won't be long" she said, quickly partially undressing the Monk to reveal large abrasions and lacerations. Sango immediately blushed, then leaned in for a closer look of his wounds, to see how he was doing.
"Would ye like to help me child?" asked Kaedae, handing Sango a roll of bandages and some antiseptic. Sango nodded, and dressed some of Miroku's smaller wounds. Sango spent a few minutes cooling his face with a damp cloth while Kaedae stitched up his largest wounds carefully.
"I shall leave ye alone now. It is going to rain soon, the others should be back before they planned" the old woman stated, giving Sango a warning of how precious her alone time with the Monk was today.
"Hi again. I hope your feeling better. I just wanted to make sure you were getting better. Both Kaedae and Kagome say there is no change, and that you might not get better, but I don't believe them. I know you will… you have to…
"You know, this doesn't have to be goodbye. I just need you to get better, soon. I'm leaving in a couple weeks. I know, I should stay here and watch over you, but I need to find Kohaku. I don't want this to be goodbye Miroku! It can't be the end I won't let it! I need to hear your voice, just once more before I leave. I won't be coming back! I can't! Please… just wake up…" Sango sobbed, pounding the ground in anger. Tears darkened the wood below Sango's bowed head.
"Don't…do…that" replied a weak, but familiar voice. Sango's head jolted upward.
"Miroku!" she shrieked, delighted.
"I just want you to know…you don't ever have to feel alone. I'll always be with you. I love.." Miroku closed his eyes again.
"Miroku? Miroku! I love you Miroku! Don't leave!" she screamed, terror filling her voice.
Kaedae rushed into the hut. Without a word, she began working.
"Call Kagome" she urged. Sango nodded and rushed out of the hut, and down the path to the forest.
"Kagome! Kagome!" Sango screamed, reaching Kagome.
"What is it!"
"It's… Miroku… he's… Kaedae said… to get you!" she managed to reply, breathless and her side aching where her injury was. Without another word, Kagome rushed back to the hut. Inuyasha offered to carry Sango, but she refused, being to proud to accept the help.
"I can do this Inuyasha, I need the exercise" she replied kindly. Inuyasha just shrugged and leapt over to the hut. Sango rushed back with all the energy she could gather.
Kaedae and Kagome spent a long time working on Miroku, doing everything they could to help him with their limited technology. Sango and Inuyasha stood in the doorway.
"I knew it" Inuyasha replied, almost as if to himself. Sango gave him a questioning look.
"Knew what?" she inquired.
"It was too easy. You and Miroku got hurt. Kagome did, but not badly. I did too, Kagome thinks it was bad, but I at least am a hanyou. I hate being one, but at least I heal faster than humans. I knew there was no way we could all escape alive after killing Naraku. It was way too easy. I'm surprised we even pulled it off. We had help, I know, but still… I never thought it would happen, and I never could have predicted we all would have lived" he replied. For the first time, Sango saw Inuyasha show his emotions, well some of them. She saw his regret, his sadness, and his hurt. She wasn't surprised that he quickly pulled himself together with a "Keh" and left, apparently to go on a walk.
Sango was left alone, standing in the doorway, watching the summer rain fall in front of her. She sat there a long time, just thinking. And there was so much to think about.
How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I
Dream away everyday
Try so hard to disregard
The rhythm of the rain that drops
And coincides with the beating of my heart
"Sango, you can come in" Kagome said from behind her, shaking her gently. Some time while Sango was lost in thought, they had managed to save Miroku, for the time being.
"He's stable, that's about all I can say" Kagome replied solemnly, regret evident in her voice.
"I think we shall collect some more herbs, and get some warm water from the hot spring" Kaedae said, gently pulling on Kagome's arm.
"But it's raining" Kagome pointed out.
"It's the best time to collect fresh herbs, there shan't be any bugs on them" said Kaedae with a nudge to Kagome. The younger girl silently nodded and left with Kaedae.
Sango made sure everyone was gone, then returned to Miroku's side.
"You were so close. You were doing so well. What happened?" Sango began, tears brimming her eyes.
"I have decided something. I won't go anywhere without you, I promise. That's right, I hope your happy! I'm not going after my brother till your better! Please… get better… please… I need to say goodbye, and not like this. So please come back to me.
I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive
Sango spent the next two months with the others. They lived in the village, in their own three room hut. It was the most they could afford. Kagome and Inuyasha shared a room, Shippou, Sango and Kirara slept in the room beside theirs. Miroku, who was still in the same condition, stayed in Kaedae's hut.
Sango had even fallen into a routine. In the morning, she would wake up at daybreak, and head to a secluded area she had found. There she spent most of her morning training, like she used to in the demon exterminator village. After that, she would go to the hot springs, and meet up with Kagome. There they would talk for a while and bathe. After they were done, they would head back to the village for lunch. They would eat with Inuyasha and Shippou and then Sango would leave again. She always headed to Kaedae's hut then. She would tell Miroku all about her day, tell him to get better soon, and how much she missed him. Many days she would either stay and just think, or learn some things from Kaedae. She had learned a lot about herbs and medicines, helping Kaedae change his bandages, which were, for the most part, healed properly. Once she was done at Kaedae's hut, she would head back to her hut, and make dinner for the others. In the evening, she would go for a long walk by herself, or sometimes Kagome if she was mad at Inuyasha. She would think about all that had gone on in her life, and look up at the stars. Each evening, she would go back, have tea, and then go to bed. The next day the whole thing would begin all over again.
Kagome knew Sango pushed forward to help her deal with the pain she was going through. Sango was frustrated with still being weaker than before, because of her injuries and the lack of exercise she got while she was hurt. She was also torn between leaving the man she loved and searching for the only other person left in this world she loved, or staying with the man she loved, and leaving all chance of ever reuniting with Kohaku.
Kagome worried about her friend, and often expressed her worry to Inuyasha on starless nights when they secretly curled up by the fire together.
"I'm worried about Sango"
"Well there's something new!" Inuyasha replied rolling his eyes.
"She's pushing herself too hard with everything she does to take her mind off Miroku" she continued, ignoring Inuyasha's comment.
"Yeah well, what would you have her do instead? Sit inside and cry all day? Maybe she's happy this way" Inuyasha replied.
"It's still not healthy. I wish she would open up more, but she keeps everything so bottled up"
"I still say if this is what she wants, let her have it. She's going through a lot, and maybe this is her only way of dealing with it. Just let her be"
"Not everyone is like you Inuyasha. Most people need to show their emotions, Sango included. I know she needs to talk, I just don't understand why she won't" Kagome complained, worrying about her best friend.
"Sango is a big girl, and tough, I'm sure she can take care of herself" Inuyasha said.
"Thank you Inuyasha, it's nice to talk like this with you sometimes" Kagome said, pecking Inuyasha on the cheek.
"Keh, yeah whatever" Inuyasha said, putting on his tough guy act once again.
More time had passed for the group, too long for Sango to track anymore. The fall weather was beginning to settle on the village, turning the leaves brilliant shades of red, yellow, and orange.
"I don't know what to do, Miroku. I don't think I'm strong enough to stand this anymore. I can't wait here forever, knowing my brother is out there. This is tearing me apart. I need you, Miroku. These one sided conversations just aren't enough. I know Kagome wants to talk…but she makes too big of a deal out of everything. She wouldn't understand anyways. You would, that's why I need you here. I love you Miroku, please come back to me!" Sango said. She let the tears that came slide down her cheeks, not bothering to wipe them away. The tears of all the pain, anguish and hurt Sango had ever been through spilled down her soft her cheeks in small rivulets, and hitting the ground with a soft pitter-patter.
Sango left the hut in a rush, running out into the forest. After a while Sango fell to the forest floor, still sobbing. She felt like there was no hope. Nothing was going to get better. Not now, not ever. She was going to have to make a choice soon, and either way, whether she stayed or left, she would always regret her choice somehow.
Sango heard footsteps quickly approaching. Sango dried her eyes, and picked herself up.
"Sango? Sango!" called Kagome rushing to her in the dark forest.
"What is it Kagome-chan?" Sango asked curiously.
"Its Miroku!" she said breathlessly. Instantly, Sango felt her heart break. She knew it just couldn't be good.
"What- what happened?" she asked, afraid of the answer.
"Miroku…he's…" Kagome began. Sango held her breath without even realizing it.
"He's awake!" she finished, so happy, she looked like she would burst. Sango didn't respond, she just ran, ran straight back to the hut.
Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you comeback
I have some things to say
The door flew open revealing a missed sight to the Houshi. Sango stood there, breathless, her skin glistening with sweat from the long run to the hut.
"Miroku! Your Ok!" she yelled, more happy than anyone had ever seen her before in all the time they had known each other.
"Aye, he is awake, but he is still very sick. Please, don't get him all worked up. Ye can all have some time with him, but then I think it would be best he continued to rest" Kaedae advised. Everyone nodded, understanding the condition Miroku in was better, but not good at all still.
Everyone spent some time talking to Miroku. It wasn't long before Kaedae shooed the out of the hut, calling only Sango to wait a moment.
"Sango" addressed Kaedae once the others had left.
"Yes Lady Kaedae?"
"Would you like a moment alone with the Houshi? I know how much you have missed him, and I'm sure a little more time awake won't hurt him. You might actually be the reason he recovered. Your hard work, not only caring for him, but just spending time with him and talking to him, seems to have finally made the difference. I am glad you didn't leave" Kaedae said knowingly.
"Thank you Lady Kaedae, thank you so much" Sango said, bowing low.
"Now I shall leave ye alone, please don't be long" Kaedae replied, putting a hand on Sango's shoulder so she would cease bowing. Sango simply nodded instead, and made her way to Miroku's bedside.
Already Sango felt tears starting to well up in her eyes.
"Miroku…" she whispered.
"Miroku, I missed you so much, so very much. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry" Sango began, her head bowed so Miroku wouldn't see her tears.
"I may be sick, but you don't need to say everything twice" replied Miroku weakly. He reached out, touching Sango's cheek and letting his hand trace her face down to her chin. He tilted her head up slightly, so he could look into her eyes, and see her face once again.
"I've missed you too. I especially missed your beautiful eyes. Please don't cry, I'm Ok, really. I don't want you to cry anymore" he replied, propping himself up with his other arm, so he was level to Sango.
"It's just…you've been gone so long. We almost lost you! I don't know what I would do if anything else happened" she said, looking away.
"I'm fine. I want to know, how is Kohaku? I figured you went to go get him once you were all better" Sango's face darkened.
"I… I didn't find him…" she said softly.
"Did he get that far away… I was so sure he would have stayed close by, looking for you too." Miroku replied quietly, stroking Sango's cheek. She blushed slightly.
"I never went to look for him" she replied. "I wanted to stay here, I wanted to wait till you were better" Miroku's features softened.
"Oh Lady Sango, why would you do such a thing? I didn't want you to miss out on a chance to be reunited with your brother. I'm sorry I kept you here" Sango smiled at him again.
"I stayed because I wanted to. I stayed… because I needed to be with you. I didn't think I could face going out there, alone, and not knowing that you were at least Ok. I would have never forgave myself if you… if anything happened to you while I was gone. I at least wanted to say goodbye" she explained. Sango took Miroku's hand from her cheek, and laced her fingers with his.
"I didn't want to have to say goodbye at all…" she said, changing her mind. "Really, I wanted to say I love you" she admitted, looking down again, feeling her cheeks heat.
A long silence followed.
"Maybe… Just… never mind what I said. Forget it" Sango said, ready to leave. Miroku grabbed her wrist and gently tugged her back to the floor.
"Forget it? Never. I never want to forget this moment" he replied softly. "Sango, I was so afraid at that battle. I wasn't afraid for me, or of what could go wrong. I was afraid of loosing you. When you saved me…I wished so badly you hadn't. I would rather die than ever see you in pain. I love you too, Sango. Please don't ever forget that" Miroku said, gently freeing his hand of Sango's, and cupping it around her face. Sango leaned into his hand, and moved forward as his hand did. Sango was met halfway by Miroku.
Sango had always dreamed about what it would be like, to kiss her true love. She hated to admit it, but she was a deep down hopeless romantic. She always thought there would be fireworks, that time would stand still, and she would know in that moment how in love with that person she was.
That was an understatement.
All that and more happened for Sango. She felt a thousand emotions all at once, all leading to one, love.
Slowly, the two pulled apart, gazing into each other's eyes.
"I love you" Sango said once again, breathless. Miroku smiled.
"I love you too, even if you are insane for saving my life…twice"
"Twice?" she asked suspiciously.
"Yes, I admit. Kaedae told me all about how you would come here every day to care for me, and that I should thank you for everything you've done. Did you like my thank you?" he asked jokingly. Sango put a hand to her lips.
"I loved it" she replied.
"Sango, I believe you have stayed long enough. I'm sorry to interrupt, but Miroku, ye need rest. You can come back in the morning Sango, until then, get some rest as well. You have done much more than even you body can handle these past few months" Kaedae said, her knowingly look never ceasing.
"Sorry Kaedae. Arigatou for the visiting rights" she said bowing to Kaedae. She left, winking at Miroku, letting him know that she would be there as soon as she could.
Sango decided that, winter weather wasn't the best time for travelling, but, after Miroku had healed completely, Sango was going to leave anyways.
She got ready without telling anyone. Feeling it would be best to tell them after she had already made up her mind. Sango didn't want to leave Miroku, she never had, but she knew this was something she should do alone. Miroku had just gotten better and the strain of the journey could undo all the progress he had made. Sango loved Miroku, but she knew he would probably be happier with the others, safe and warm, than out searching for someone who could be so far away they could never find him.
"Where do you think you are going?" asked Miroku good humouredly watching Sango pack her bags.
"To get my brother. I can't put this off anymore." she spun around to face him "I need to find my brother. I don't want to leave you, but I know this is where you need to be." Miroku grabbed Sango's wrist, and pulled her closer.
"This isn't where I need to be. Not if you're not here! Do you think I lived through all I have just to have you try to make me stay where it's safe! I don't want you to leave without me" he pleaded.
"Miroku, I can't bring you with me…I just can't!" she said, trying to pull away from him. Miroku held her firmly, but gently.
"Sango… I know nothing much has happened lately…you know, between us. That doesn't mean that I what I said wasn't true! 'I love you is more' than just words to me! It means I want to be with you, among a thousand other things. 'I love you' means I don't want to be without you. It means I can't LIVE without you, and you KNOW that's true. 'I love you' means… this doesn't have to be goodbye!" Miroku exclaimed.
"I don't think either of you have to say goodbye" said Inuyasha. "I found something. I think it belongs to you, Sango" Sango was at first curious to where Inuyasha came from, but all thoughts of that, and much else, vanished as Inuyasha stepped aside. Sango gasped, her hands in front of her face, her eyes brimming with tears, for one of the first times since Miroku had awoken.
"Kohaku!" she cried, rushing over to her brother.
"Ane-ue!" he exclaimed, as he was flung into a hug by his sister. It was a tearful reunion. Kagome who had come along with Inuyasha, was also crying. Miroku even looked misty-eyed. Inuyasha showed no emotion as usual, other than being proud of himself for finding Kohaku.
It was two years later, and Sango was now expecting a child of her own. Miroku couldn't have been happier, nor could Sango. This baby meant more to them than anyone could have realized. She stood for all the hardships they had ever faced, and how in the end, they overcame them all. This child stood for all the love and compassion they shared, and for all the hope there was for tomorrow.
Sango and Miroku had their own place now, in the village. As did Kagome and Inuyasha.
Kagome had decided to finally use the jewel, which has been long forgotten about. She had wished that the portal between the worlds remained available to Kagome one last time. There she was currently residing at her parents house with Inuyasha, saying her final goodbyes. They were going to go back to the feudal era for good, and stay as a family. Kagome had also brought her new son along to the future. His name was Souta, as a reminder to her family and herself, how much they meant to her.
Everyone was glad the hardships they faced were far behind them. Sango felt that now, anything she had to face, she knew she could overcome, because, she had already done the hardest things anyone could ever imagine to face. With Miroku behind her (but not touching her behind) she felt as though no matter what she had to deal with, no matter how unbearable, she had him to support her, and she would never have to be alone again.
How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I feel
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THE END
Thank you for reading this!! I hope you enjoyed it, and even if you didn't you still read it, and that's what counts. Now, this really isn't that hard, I just have ONE last favour. Click that little button in the bottom left hand corner of the screen and tell me what you thought! Thank you! Happy New Years too!