Ryan never actually liked malls.

It was a mixture of the artificial façade of everything around him and the creepy perfection of all the mannequins that just made him uneasy. He hated taking Ella here. She was still a kid; she needed to be outside. Playing hopscotch on the pavement, swimming at the community pool, swinging around on a jungle gym.

But his baby loved the mall. She let go of his hand and raced rounds through every store before he even managed to step through the threshold. Her fingers traced delicately along the fabric of different clothes. She stared in awe of the blown up, airbrushed ads. She grabbed armloads of different outfits and forced him to wait, while she tried all of them on.

He never complained. Just sitting back, mentally accounting to see what he could afford, he could never wipe the smile away.

Ella just made him smile.

She was perfect in every way. It was such a "father" thing for him to say. Even Theresa smacked him on the arm when he said it too often. But he couldn't look down at those large blue eyes and dark curls and not smile.

Her laughter was infectious, her tears tore him up inside. Every time he hugged her, it was more difficult to let go.

"Daddy!" her voice snapped him back to reality. "Let's go!"

Looking at his impatient little girl, he smiled again. She stood at the entrance of Gap Kids, holding Summer with one hand and using the other to gesture for Ryan to hurry up. He jogged over quickly and took her other hand. Summer winked at him just as they entered the store. Suddenly he felt very, very out of place.

Summer was a surprise. She had always been, be it when she continuously called him Chino or when she fell in love with Seth Cohen. When she left for San Francisco, no one believed that she had really gone. Everyone expected her to run back to Newport every chance she got, but this was the first time in years she was even in the area.

She was still the same Summer in that sense- she did as she pleased.

He had always admired that about her. And now he couldn't help but admire her gentle demeanor around Ella. Most people couldn't stomach four year olds for too long, but Summer's smile hadn't faltered since she laid eyes on his daughter. In fact, there was a light in her eyes every time Ella laughed. He knew that light, it happened to him too.

XXX

"So Ryan, how's everything been?" Summer dropped the question nonchalantly, but it was obvious that she really was interested in the answer.

"Okay," he replied, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He sat nervously next to her as the two waited for Ella to come out of the dressing room. They had just spent the past hour at Gap Kids, Gymboree and now, at the children's department of Macys. The girls seemed to have boundless energy, while he was beginning to feel the fatigue.

"Okay?" For some reason Summer couldn't believe he summed up four years with one word. That was sparse, even for Ryan.

"Yeah."

He didn't know what else to say but from the look on her face, he could tell she expected more.

"I'm graduating UC Irvine next spring. I work for Kirsten's company part time. I'm 22. I have a four year old daughter who lives with me part time in my bachelor pad." Both he and Summer laughed as Ryan made air quotes when for the phrase bachelor pad. It wasn't really that funny, but they both knew it was out of character for him.

"She's four?"

"Yeah," he smiled. "Four years, eight months and three days."

"Wow, you really are a dad." She laughed.

"I never thought it would feel like this. I knew that I'd protect her and Theresa with my life. I still will. But the moment I saw her, I knew she was mine. Not just biologically but really... mine." He paused for a moment, as if to register what he had just said. Then, after some thought added, "She's my purpose."

"Wow, Chino. That's deep."

He shrugged in reply. "What have you been up to?"

"What haven't I been up to?"

XXX

Ella sat happily on her father's lap as he continued to talk to his friend. She wasn't sure who the woman was, or how her dad knew him, but she was fun to be around. Usually, her father was the most impatient shopper. He hated malls and would refuse to go to all the shops she wanted- even when her mother was around.

Today Ryan was definitely more relaxed. For the first time in a while, he was with someone who didn't completely expect him to be the mature Ryan he had become. Summer knew him from when he was still a kid- even back then he felt older than her but at least he didn't have to worry about her expectations of him.

Theresa, who knew him through the awkwardest of ages, now treated him with all sorts of expectations. He fathered her child and he needed to be a grown up. It wasn't a comfortable position. Of course he took the responsibility. But he hated the expectations that came along with it.

He had spent the past half hour listening to Summer ramble about her different adventures in San Francisco. Pretty soon, he felt as though he knew Pablo the bouncer and Antoine the financial analyst.

"Daddy, can I go get more juice?" Ella looked up at her father and noticed how different he looked. He seemed a lot younger than usual. There was something about him that made him seem less like Dad and more like a big kid.

Ella wasn't sure what was going with her father. But she knew it was a good thing. Maybe they needed to keep the dark haired lady for a while.