Harry Potter and…uh…

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Don't sue me. I'm just a kid.
Note: This story is really short and really stupid. I couldn't get any good ideas going.

Harry was sitting in his room at 4, privet drive. It sucked ass. There was nothing to do except listen to Dudley scream about "not getting enough pie" and watch his uncle's lifeless body rotting in the backyard.

Oh, you probably want an explanation for that.

Too bad.

Now, on with the story. Harry was on the verge of just running away. Why did his so-called "family" have to be so fucking retarded all the time? The world would be much better off if they just died and roasted in eternal hellfire while Harry laughed and pissed on their graves.

Luckily enough, at that point a grease fire in the kitchen spread to Dudley's head. He would have been able to put it out (it was a small fire) if not for the fact that he could bring his arms above his head on account of being so fucking fat. He pretty much died within seconds.

Aunt Petunia managed to put out the fire herself despite being a dumb housewife with no formal education and then overdosed on the anti-depressants her husband had been taking before he died.

Before he knew it Harry was by himself. The first thing he did was eat mangos. They were so incredibly delectable that his relatives didn't allow him to eat them. They sucked, but it was the principle of the thing that mattered.

Next, Harry went out to get some pot. His favorite drug dealer Alfonzo had died a week earlier in a police raid on his compound, so Harry went to this new guy who worked at the McDonalds named Jake or Jim or something. He had some pretty good stuff, but he was a fucking asshole. You couldn't get a good deal out of him unless you gave him sexual favors.

Now of course, Harry isn't the type to give out sexual favors. So he paid the extra cash and brought home his load. He decided to have a party now that he had the pot, the anti-depressants, and the vodka in the cupboard. He mixed them all and waited for the effect.

It was completely insane.

First Harry saw a vision of a rabid bunny eating a hot naked chick. Then the bunny morphed into a large hammer and fell down on a house. Rainbow colors were flashing everywhere. The occupants of the house all ran out into the street where they died gruesomely . It was hideous.

But it was fucking awesome at the same time. Too bad Harry died just minutes after.