Summary: ah, Harry Potter and his issues. He has so many doesnt he? Well, this is my take on what will happen after the 5th Book. He is having a very bad summer, and debating on how to keep his friends safe...and then he's off to Hogwarts, and a lot of things start happening, new feelings, and the upcoming battle with Voldemort. So (SPOILERS PPL!) read and find out what i think will happen (Or what i think should end up happening) ...trust me, its a good read. Its very realistic to the original storyline... there will be Hr/R , and H/Hr pairings, u have to bear with me to see how it will work out, and how it will end. (I reccomend that H/Hr lovers read this... :) )

--Hope u like it, it starts off slow, so wait for the good stuff!

Chapter One

5 more days… 5 more and he'd be back at Hogwarts. He kept reminding himself that. This summer had to be one of the worst he'd had. He made sure that he didn't contact the Weasley's or Hermione. He didn't want anyone else getting hurt because of him. Not like Sirius.

Sirius. He didn't know how many times that summer he had replayed the scenario of Sirius' death in his head, trying to see if there was anything he could have done to prevent his death. But he couldn't of, he was too far away…but he was a wizard wasn't he? Couldn't he of just… He couldn't. He needed to stop thinking about all of this. It was driving him insane.

Ron had sent him millions of owls it seemed and he always responded the same way. He thought it would be safer if he stayed with his aunt and uncle this summer. He said the same to Hermione. He wouldn't let anyone die because of him, or rather in spite of him. He wouldn't. He was alone now; he would be a mere shadow now. Until, Voldemort was dead, he was a threat to anyone who was near him.

He didn't even bother the Dursley's the whole summer. Since he had come from platform 9 and ¾ in June, he had been in his room, only escaping to go to the bathroom, or take some food to bring to his room and eat. The Dursley's didn't seem to care, they seemed to love these change of events. Dudley went back to being his normal fat bubbly self, and Uncle Vernon went back to pretending he didn't exist, leaving Aunt Petunia…who he didn't quite understand. She didn't reach out to him, but she didn't ignore him either. He didn't know whether this was a blessing or worse. Did he want his aunt to care about him even if it was just a little? A knock at his door brought him out of his reverie.

When the door opened it was revealed as Uncle Vernon. "We are going out. Don't break anything, don't leave this room…" Uncle Vernon drawled on. "Well, you know the rules. We'll be back in a couple of hours." And with that the first conversation with a human being Harry had in months was over with a slam of the door.

Harry got up from his place on the floor and walked over to Hedwig in her cage. At least he had Hedwig, he thought and her presence was somewhat soothing to him. As he fed Hedwig he heard yelling coming from downstairs.

"What do you mean you aren't coming Petunia?"

"Vernon, you are perfectly capable of going to the store to pick up some things. You don't need me there."

"Am I to leave you in this house alone, while that thing is upstairs?"

"Vernon, take Duddykins and go. I have things to do; I am not up to going out."

"Petunia…"

"Vernon. I'm done with this conversation. Out you go, and you too Duddykins. Goodbye have fun at the store boys." And after that he heard a door slam. Aunt Petunia wasn't going shopping with the family and staying home alone with Harry? Was she feeling ill? Something must have come over her…this was just too bizarre even to Harry.

And then he heard a knock at his door for the second time that day. He rose to answer it but it had already opened. Aunt Petunia didn't wait to be invited in, she walked in with a disgusted look on her face at the sight of my messy room and she sat down, on my bed. Harry was about to say something when Aunt Petunia started. "Harry. I want to know something."

Harry looked confused and asked, "What about Aunt Petunia?" She looked like she was dreading what she was about to say next but she said it anyway. "Harry, why is it that the moment you set foot into this house this summer you have locked yourself away from everyone..." It took great pains for her to say the next part. "Even your wizarding friends that you say you love so much?" Before Harry could answer she went on. "Does this have to do with, that man…" she continued, "that man that killed my sister and that husband of hers?"

If Harry thought it couldn't get any more bizarre than Aunt Petunia coming into his room and sitting on his bed, well this just proved that it did.

"Well Harry?" she pushed

Harry said the only thing he could. "I thought you didn't want to know anything about the wizarding world. I thought you hated every aspect of it. I thought you wanted to pretend it didn't exist? What is it Aunt Petunia, your curiosity getting the best of you?" Harry knew this was a little harsh, but after years of living with his Aunt why would she start caring even if it was a little, now? And why should he appease her curiosity? She had treated him like he was worthless for years.

Aunt Petunia didn't look like she was fazed by his harsh words. But she looked away for a moment at the picture of Harry's parents on his bureau, them waving madly and smiling and then looked back at Harry.

"Harry. I think I have to tell you something."

Harry sat back and asked, "And that would be what?"

"My sister, Harry. I hated her, but…" she swallowed and continued. "but, I loved her." She smiled a sad smile. "I guess that wouldn't exactly make sense to you but its true. How could someone love and utterly hate someone at the same time?"

Harry went to speak but she silenced him. "No, you have to hear me out Harry." She bit her lip and looked as though she was holding back tears. "Harry. The day when your mother got her letter from that school was the day I began hating her. My parents already loved her like they never tried to love me, and with this, it was just another thing to be ever so proud of Lily for. You see, I didn't get this letter. Oh, no, but Lily did, and I…I was jealous. I mean why was she so special, why couldn't I go to that school? What made her a witch, and me a mere…what is it you call us normal people, muggles is it? What made me a mere muggle? I mean we had the same parents; she was a mere muggle the years before, just like me. Our parents weren't witches or wizards or anything of the sort. Why was she? Why give her yet another advantage over me? But it was done, and I was jealous, and sad, and depressed." Harry looked speechless. "She went off to this school every year, I never saw her and she learned these marvelous things and I thought maybe if I could read in her books, maybe I could be a witch too." She looked into Harry's eyes when she said the next part. "that's why I knew about those dementoids last summer…"

"Dementors." Harry corrected.

"Oh, whatever. Dementors." She corrected herself. "I used to read through her books when she came home. But obviously as you know, there was no way for me to become what she already was, and so I scorned her for it, I scorned the whole wizarding world for being weird, and not normal." She laughed. "But then! Oh, get this…as if that damn world of hers, yours, didn't do enough…she met your father, married him and had you. Little Harry. My marriage of course was not anything great but hers was. But that's not what got me Harry. What got me was, that this damn world of hers, took her in, got her married and with a child and then took it away from her. It killed her, and left you." She was on the verge of tears. "you, the embodiment of everything abnormal. You, the symbol of that world." She let a tear fall. "that world killed her Harry, and that broke me. She was so strong, and the way she died was just another way of showing me that. God, I loved her, for who she was, but I hated the world of which she came from…because it gave her, her doom, and it gave me my life, without her."

Harry looked at his aunt in the eyes again and saw the pain that was there. "Then you Harry were left on my doorstep, and the story of you and what happened to my sister was told through a letter. I had to take you in. It was the one thing I could do for my sister. The one thing I could to help you. I was hoping that I could beat the wizard out of you, so you wouldn't have to go through what my sister did, and die like she did one day. Because of that damn world. But I couldn't, and I saw that ever since you were little. That's why I act the way I do. That's why I act as though that world doesn't exist, that you don't exist… I, I…I loved her. I hated her." She let another tear fall. "But god, I really did love her and I failed her with you. I let you go to that damn world, and now look at you. A skinny little thing that lives in fear."

Harry was nothing short of surprised to find out all of this. But managed somehow to speak anyway. "Aunt Petunia, you didn't fail her. You are keeping me safe, in this house; you didn't let Uncle Vernon kick me out last year. You know that the only place I am safe is here, and you made it so I could stay. Don't hate the wizarding world Aunt Petunia; hate Voldemort."

She flinched at the name. "Voldemort. The bastard who killed my sister."

Aunt Petunia had said Voldemorts' name? She must have hated him as much as Harry. "Aunt Petunia, my world isn't all that bad. It's just the few that abuse the privilege of who they are, and…and…"

"And kill people? And make our world a dangerous place to be?"

"Our world?"

"Yes. Ours. Your abnormal one and our normal one combined."

"Yes, then I guess your right." Aunt Petunia rose and headed toward the door. "Wait, you said you wanted to know about what was going on…" she held up her hand to stop Harry from speaking.

"I don't want to know. I think I've had enough." As she walked down the hall, Harry ran to the door to watch her leave and she turned one last time and said to him, " stay safe, will you Harry?" Not expecting an answer, she started down the stairs and spoke no more words to Harry.