Barbossa let go of his bed hangings, because it was just too awkward. He saw the sun rising outside. That must have meant that it was Christmas day! He still had time! He looked out his window, and called to a young boy as he passed:

"You boy, do you know if they still have that large turkey at the market?"

The boy turned around, quick as a flash. Everyone answered Ebenezer Barbossa when he asked a question.

"Do you mean the one that's almost as big as I am?"

"Yes, yes!"

"Sure do!"

Barbossa threw him down a bag of money.

"Go buy it for me, and bring it back here if you can carry it! Keep the change!"

"Yes sir, yes sir! And a very merry Christmas to you!"

"A very merry Christmas to you too!"

The boy hurried off. Barbossa did a little happy dance. Actually, it was a quite large happy dance. He had such a wonderful plan in mind…

The rum-trader got the turkey, the boy got his change, and when Barbossa found Murtog and Mullroy, he gave them a huge sum of…gold, and told them to come to see him the next day, the day after, and so on. He had a whole lifetime's worth of donations to make up for. He then went out and bought a present for each of the members of the Crachet family.

Morning next, when Pintel and Ragetti came in to work, the events occurred as such:

"Crachets! Where's me laundry?"

"Right here, sir."

Barbossa smelled his clothes and threw them to the floor.

"Fools! I asked for Tide! This is Sunlight!"

"I'm sorry sir, I promise that next time…"

"It doesn't matter! You've messed up, again, and I will therefore have to...to…"

Pintel gulped and awaited the verdict.

"Come on men; give me a drum-roll!"

They started making noises that sounded nothing like drum-rolls and got carried away.

"No, okay. You know what? Don't. Just...don't."

They stopped, and sadness took over them. They really did enjoy the simple things in life. Like making funny noises.

Barbossa continued. "I will therefore have to…give you a new fireplace at the back to keep you warm and give you a pay-raise."

"Sir, are you feeling alright? Are you joking?"

"No! Not at all! I've changed!"

"Were you visited by three ghosts, by any chance?"

"How…?"

"Long story, another time."

"Alright then… We'll negotiate the new terms over lunch."

That night, Barbossa came with the turkey and the gifts, to celebrate a belated Christmas. After the scrumptious meal, the family turned to the gifts. For Pintel, there was a handsome pair of gloves, and for Mrs. Crachet, a lovely new handkerchief. For Ragetti, a new eye, made of glass, because Barbossa had heard him whine about how it "splintered him something terrible". The children received dolls, toy soldiers, balls and such. But Tiny Will, in addition to all this, received a toy puppet and a mirror. That was the day he discovered his "beauty". But that's another story for another time.

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!" shouted Tiny Will with glee.

"That's Santa's line." said his sister, tugging his sleeve.

"Oh yeah…I mean, God bless us everyone!"

THE END

A/N: It's not entirely finished! I'm adding an alternate ending, the one I took out because it totally killed the Christmas spirit. Oh yeah, I'm not insulting Will by putting "beauty' in quotes. To cmjrwalker, sorry, should've answered before, it's the same Bootstrap, but just pretend that he's not Will's father.