After he talked to Tifa and Cloud, Sir Auron walked around with them aimlessly for two hours. Then he broke the silence.
"How is this helping me get back to Spira?" Auron asked.
"Spira? What the hell are you talkin' 'bout, foo?" said Cloud getting all gangsta on him."Don't make me bust a cap in yo ass!"
"Oh no!" Tifa said."We were suppose to help him go home...I think I know how.."
A few minutes later,it became dark and the moon came out.Tifa came with a red sweater,a bike with a basket on it and a white blanket and a cardboard box with junk in it.
"Cloud wear this," she said,tossing him the sweater.He wore it and then Tifa gave Auron the white blanket.
"What exactly are you trying to do?" he questioned her.She turned to him and said.
"This is gonna help you go home!!" she smiled and took out whatever crap was in that box of hers."Wrap the blanket around you." He nodded and did so.She brought out a replica of that thingy that they used in E.T.
"What's that?" Cloud asked.
"It's some thing that helps people go back home," she said fixing it.All of a sudden Sephiroth flies over there.Cloud looked shocked and then remembered something: the taquitos!!
"Sephiroth!" he yelled."What do you want?"
"Are you giving me a present? You know,my birthday is coming up soon and I--"
"No--I want to know why you're here?" Cloud said.
"Oh...You see,I had my own tv show...but it's about to be cancelled so I though 'Like,hey Why don't we do a makeover show!!' Like, cause everyone does it nowadays..." Sephiroth exclaimed while he brushed his hair. "And you're the one I want to be on it. Cloud, do you want to be on tv too?...And yes,I came to steal your taquitos too."
"Nooo! Anything but the taquitos!! "Tifa said. "Wait—hey can I be in the show?"
"We only need two more people and a dog-thing. Sorry."
All of a sudden Aeris appeared.
"Cloud, Tifa, E.T. and Johnny Depp shocking information that I must tell you right away…Oooooh…I'm a ghost. Look at me float! Man…I haven't been this high since senior prom!"
"Aeris? Is that you?" Sephiroth asked.
"Duh," she said. "Anyway he's suppose to ,like, steal that dude and take your taquitos. Hey! Did you know my stunt double is Drew Barrymore?!"
"Oh my God!!" Cloud said. "I didn't know that. Hey where did you get your dress?"
"It's Versace. Got it for Christmas," she said and then. Whoosh! Yeah… Whoosh. She vanished!
Tifa was too busy fixing Auron's hair to be paying attention.
"Was that Aeris? How come she's not online anymore?" Tifa exclaimed. Sephiroth swooped down and grabbed the taquitos from Cloud. Then after that he then took Cloud, E.T. umm…I meant Auron!! Then after that he took the bike from Tifa and flew away. Fly, fly,fly…
"Damn," Tifa said. "Now I have to order buffalo wings."
Back in Sephiroth's secret headquarters/an old cardboard box for Christmas ornaments in Sephiroth's multi-million gil house…he was preparing to shoot their show.
"Ha ha ha ha..! Now my plans come into action! First we will shoot the show and cause people to have sesuires from watching it!" Sephiroth said outloud. "Then we shall use these taquitos…to open a chain of fast food resteraunts!"
"Not so fast ," Tidus yelled. "Give us back Auron!"
"Why am I here?" Red XIII said.
"Everyone shut up and grab Auron," Lulu said.
So,Kimahri grabbed him and jumped in the toilet but Yuna summoned Ifrit and ran away with the taquitos.
"What the hell was that?" Cloud said. "And I was really looking forward to be on TV…"
Lulu,Wakka,and Rikku jumped in the toilet (Which is the portal to the other world..) and everything went back to normal.
"I am so sad," Sephiroth was sad because he became friends with Auron and just finished making his friendship bracet.
"Hey Sephiroth, you want me to be your friend?" Cloud asked him.
"No."
"Why?"
"Cause I hate you."
The End
Meanwhile after the story…Aeris is lost…
"Hello? Helloooo? Where did everyone go, Nanaki? Cloud? Tifa? Sephiroth? E.T.?I knew I shouldn't have drank all that Smirnoff last night."