A/N - Sad story, I know. But whenever a type a sad story, it makes me feel better in some ways . . . well, review and I promise more chapters.

'Cold daybreak . . .'

That was the first thought that came into Raven's head that particular morning. It had already been a year since the passing of Trevor, and Raven was 15. Her once shiny, sleek hair that she had in her childhood was now ragged and worn from all the stress in her life. Her once curious, eager violet eyes were now tired and darkened by the cruelty of the world. But worst of all, she had lost who she was.

Raven had no idea what happened to her. Ever since that fateful day, that day . . . the day her mother 'mysteriously' stopped breathing. . .

"No, I will not return to a past that no longer can be fixed . . ." she whispered to herself.

She rocked back and forth on her cushiony bed. Thinking about herself and how ugly and uninteresting and problematic she was. Even though she wasn't ugly at all . . . she always seemed to fall under Starfire's shadow.

It was always 'Starfire this' or 'Starfire that'. So what if Raven was a few pounds more than Starfire? Who cares if Raven's beauty didn't compare to that of Starfire's? Raven knew that she was more capable than Starfire any day.

Raven nodded her head a little and looked at the mirror across the room. She was gaining weight. Her once slender figure of 115 was destroyed because of the constant worry. She was now 125 at 5 foot 5. On the other hand, Starfire was 5 foot 9 and 110. How could the boys resist?

Raven shook her head. What was she thinking? It was like one minute she was thinking something, and the next she's thinking the opposite.

'Am I going insane?' she thought to herself.

"Raven! Dinner!" cried Cyborg from the kitchen.

Raven inhaled and exhaled, great, now she was forced to eat.

:; During Dinner ;:

Everyone was eating happily, except Raven. Of course, this was normal, since then, she has never smiled again. Beast boy cast a glance at Raven a smiled.

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"To get away from its annoying friend and the rest of the idiots on its block." answered Raven icily.

"Actually, Raven," said Starfire "I believe that the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side . . . is that right?"

Beast boy smiled and nodded. "You got it!"

Cyborg smiled and looked at Raven.

"You know why the Raven crossed the road?" he asked playfully.

Raven looked up and smiled. Out of all the members of the team, she and Cyborg were the closest. He was the one that helped her get adjusted with the team, the one who helped her most when she needed it, and the only one who didn't melt at the sight of Starfire. Raven told him her secrets, and he told her his.

::: Flashback – 3 weeks after the death of Trevor:::

Raven lay on her back, staring at the sky. She was drowsy and had eaten so much that she felt like a beached whale. Somehow, she managed to escape the tower and made it to the beach that surrounded the Titan Headquarters.

She closed her eyes and started humming to words she knew didn't exist as the cold sea-water washed over her. Maybe she could drown . . . Just then,

"Raven!" said a voice from shore-line.

Raven looked up and sat down Indian style on the cold sand.

"What is it Cyborg?" she said as the robot hybrid made his way towards her.

"I saw you leave and I was worried you might . . ." he stopped talking in fear that he might give Raven ideas.

"I see, you were worried I might kill myself." She said shakily.

Cyborg didn't say anything.

"So this is what I have been reduced to? A suicidal freak?" she said infuriated.

Cyborg looked down, afraid to look up.

Raven sniffled.

"I'm sorry Cyborg," she said quietly "I don't mean to be such an idiot."

"It's not your fault, Raven," he said comfortingly "he died because of the disease, and there was nothing you could do about it."

Raven bit her lip and tears streamed down her face. Cyborg went and sat next to her.

"Now, now . . . no need for anymore tears. We've had enough." He said.

"But I want to cry, Cyborg, I want to!"

"What good is crying going to do? Except maybe make things worse."

"I was the one, Cyborg! It was me!"

"What are you talking about, Ravie?"

"I was the one that killed his mom! I killed his whole village!"

Cyborg stared at Raven, dumbstruck.

"I lost control of my emotions and I killed everyone. Ever since that day, I swore I would protect him at all costs! I can't protect him anymore . . . he's out of my reach, for good this time." Raven said passionately.

Cyborg swallowed and held Raven close.

::: End Flashback:::

Raven smiled a little more.

"Let me guess, Cyborg," she said jokingly "the Raven crossed the road to give her friend some company."

Cyborg smirked.

"You got it."

:: The next Morning ::

"Wake up everyone!" cried Robin "I have great news!"

Everyone rushed towards Robin with eager faces, Raven just stood near a chair and listened.

"We have been invited to The Golden Moon Ball next Sunday because of our great contribution to the city!"

Everyone smiled and cheered, even Raven felt a little excited.

Starfire wore an extremely broad smile.

"I shall wear a beautiful dress!"

Robin smirked.

"You'll look gorgeous Starfire."

Raven's eyes saddened a bit. She looked up at Cyborg for reassurance.

Cyborg mouthed out silently, "You're a thousand times more gorgeous than she is."

Raven smiled and looked back at Robin. She will look beautiful for the bal, even if it kills her.

During the next week, Raven resolved to not eat anything. She started to work on her dress and work out at the gym even harder.

Cyborg admitted to feeling a little worry. 2 days before the ball, Cyborg confronted Raven.

"Hey, Ravie"

"Hey, Cy."

"I umm. . .couldn't help noticing you haven't been eating lately."

But before he could say anything else, she was out of the room.