Still Needing You
Author's Note: It's the next chappie! I made up a couple of things like e-mail address and junk, so don't think if you send a letter to that e-mail address you'll get a reply from so and so. XD Anyways, read on and please review! Arigato very much!
Chapter Three
Soulful Desires
As Syaoran looked to the ground, he realized something. He was in this for the popularity – he never wanted a girlfriend like Raku. How did he just realize it now? Why was he so blind? Why was it then that his heart screamed for Sakura? Yet... he felt attracted to something. Was it... not Sakura?
He looked over to the girl beside Sakura, with beautiful, long black hair that scrolled past her shoulders. It was long and beautiful, and her eyes so glossy. They were amethyst, a beautiful amethyst. As if they were jewels with feeling, with life in them.
Damn, why am I doing this? Why am I having feelings for multiple girls? Damn it!
"Sakura, are you okay?" Tomoyo asked, her cheeks slightly flushing.
"Y... yeah, I'm... I'll be okay," Sakura said boldly, clutching onto the side of her locker for support.
Syaoran, where are you? Are you lost in your memories? In your past? In the present? In Raku? In Tomoyo? In... me?
Sakura looked over her shoulder to where the ever-so-popular Syaoran was, standing by his locker, with girls swooning over him. She turned away in disgust. How could he not have noticed her? She stood out from everyone. She was the tomboy girl everyone knew yet also the sweet girly girl they saw.
"Sakura, we should get to Japanese. We don't want our sensei yelling at us like he did to a few other girls who came in late from swooning over... Syaoran," she shuddered, looking into Sakura's emerald eyes.
"Yeah, we best go. Let that baka enjoy all he wants, but soon he will not be respected kindly by Yelan-san, Sonomi-san, or Otou-san," Sakura said, not realizing she had just called him a baka.
So off they went, to their Japanese class. High school was no longer the "little kid school" that they were so used to. This was hardcore and day by day Syaoran was slowly failing even though he was top. His life was no longer the easy-going life it was. With girlfriends, guy friends, and homework, how could he manage?
Sakura could remember the days where he and she studied together, practicing for all of their tests, reciting their recitations together, helping each other correctly write their Japanese, and learning how to play various musical instruments.
Syaoran, Syaoran. Why do you see them and not me? Why? Why won't you take a glance at me and sweep me into your arms as you do for them? Why won't you hug me and carry me away? Why won't you? Why?
Her heart began to beat faster and faster with each heartbreaking question that surfed her mind. She kept stealing glances as Syaoran, her heart aching. She needed him. She needed him to hold her and love her the way he did to those girls, but... he didn't. He wouldn't. She despised them – especially the ever-popular Raku.
"Come on, Sakura!" Tomoyo said, grabbing her arm and pulling her off.
Once Sakura got home and finished her homework, she received and e-mail, and from who? None other than Syaoran. It's address was: . As she opened the e-mail, her heart beat faster and faster, and the e-mail contained:
Dear Sakura,
I don't know why I'm e-mailing you and you probably think I'm some stupid jerk to do this, but... I don't know if I can take on the popularity anymore. I mean, sure it's great, but something's just missing. I don't know what, but I think you hold that key. I'm sure of it. I can remember the past times where we used to study together, recite our recitation together, play instruments together, and laugh together. All of those great times. Gomen nasai for being such a baka. Really, gomen. I never meant to hurt you those days, but popularity took me over, contained me in its evil little jar and would not let me escape. I think Oka-san has found out of my shameful behavior because she is not treating me as usual. She's given me those one-of-a-kind "shamefulness to you" looks. Gomen nasai, Sakura. I could say it forever to you and you may never forgive me. And Tomoyo? Why, I apologize to her too, but somehow, I think it would calm me more if I had told you first. Sakura, my shameful acts have brought me false fortune. It was you that brought me together, it was you that saved my life. Remember that day when I fell of the bridge and was drowning? Well, an angel saved my life – you. I can remember the time you got stuck up a tree and who saved you? I did. Yes, I did. I will miss you Sakura, for I think Oka-san is transferring me to the Hong Kong high school and making me apply for the University of Hong Kong. It's gonna be tough, especially without you. Oh Sakura, how I wish I wasn't such a fool and baka and only stayed with you. If only I had – but this is the present and that was the past, and we must move on. If I do move, don't tell anyone, not even Tomoyo. I love you Sakura, no. I don't. I adore you. Ja ne. Sayonara. I will miss you, my dearest – my adored, my love.
Love,
Syaoran
At that, Sakura gasped. The letter was long and heartfelt. She knew what she had to do – she had to write back. So with her own e-mail, she began to type, with her personal e-mail: .
Dear Syaoran,
You're leaving? I'm sorry for thinking you were a big-ass baka. I really did think that, and it would be surprising to you since I have always loved you – always. Even when you left me for popularity, I still did. I can't believe you sent me that letter. You always act so cold around me I thought that Raku had obtained your mind, your heart, your soul. I have a soulful desire that I wish could be completed – that you and I would fall in love and live happily ever after, through life and death, forever and ever. But however, if Yelan-san decides to transfer you over to Hong Kong, I shall e-mail you everyday and apply for the University of Hong Kong. I will so long as I see you. Just knowing that you've said hi to me or simply e-mailed me makes my heart melt. And Syaoran, this is coming from the bottom of my heart with all of the emotions I can carry, full of love, joy, and all of those wonderful things. I no longer feel as forlorn as I have in a long time. Oh Syaoran, you do not know how much I've missed you. Yelan-san has my phone number, so ask her if you need my cell phone number. Ja ne, Syaoran-kun. Sayonara, I shall love you forever – FOREVER!
Love Your Dearest Cherry Blossom,
Kinomoto Sakura
She sighed, knowing that Syaoran would soon receive her e-mail. She only wished he could stay and she hoped his soulful desire was to be with her – her and only her, for that was her soulful wish to him – that he would stay with her always and forever... a soulful desire... a soulful wish... a soulful need...
a/n: Okay, I know Syaoran's been feeling awkward feelings towards both Tomoyo and Sakura, but looks like he chose Sakura over Tomoyo! Anyways, read and review please! Arigato for your support!