Being Lost Is Okay If You're Lost With Me

A Yugioh one-shot.

By: Suchan deFamine

Rating: PG-13 for Jounouchi's potty mouth. And slash.

Before we begin:

HAHA! FOOLED YOU! I'm not really doing any more full-length YGO ffs (having a hard enough time finishing a full-length ANYTHING for that matter), but I decided to give it one last shot since I was in Toys R Us the other day and saw the new ::cackle:: duel disk (What a laugh! ), there was a guy with long blue hair and a green eye and the other blue, he was on the box, next to Yami, and I thought, wow, he's a studmuffin. So maybe if I can hang onto the show despite all the sap, I may learn who this new hot piece of meat is.

Before you nod off:

Hey, if you know who he is, tell me. Kids WB is fucked up and so is Cartoon Network, only showing it like once a week. I have no other way to view. My mom is anti-anime so the only version I get to see is the kiddiefied one.

Before you start to ignore me:

NOTE: This takes place during the oh-so-long ago Duelist Kingdom bit, season 1, I think. HOLY SHITAKI MUSHROOMS. What season is it now? Three? FOUR?! Dear God, I feel old. ::withers::

Before you start to click your back button:

SO. This is a one shot, slash, and if it doesn't float your boat, bail out before you capsize because all flames I get on this will be rolled up into a cannonball and fired from my pirate ship of romance and destroy your rowboat.

Okay? Great. Let's get this over with.

YAY!

':P' indicates scene change, though I think there's only one or two….

:P

Mai was such an idiot. I couldn't stand her. Honda was no help, honestly. That stupid survival handbook of his. Anzu was always being cheerful and assholic, and Yugi…such a disappointment. What a wimp.

And Kaiba. That bastard. Even after beating the living daylights out of me with that duel disk crap of his, he had gone on to imply that I was more stupid than a monkey. I don't know why they try'n hold me back from killing him. That washed-up, stuck-up, snobby, brainless, beautiful, spiteful, stupid, daft, bitchy, better-than-thou, fucked up socialite little asshole's overdue for a good stamping.

Waitaminnit. I said beautiful? I meant bastardly. I swear, I really did. Stop looking at me like that. Geh…

Anyway, while Honda was trying to start a fire with the help of his Wilderness Survival for Idiots handbook, I mentioned that I was going to find some food. That I was going to go take a piss. That I was going to go throw myself off the cliff. No one either cared or listened, so I headed off into the woods with a sigh and not another word.

Hell, maybe I should throw myself off the cliff. Not like they'd notice. And if they did, Yugi'd go off like a water spigot.

What a wimp.

:P

There was a clearing where a small stream ran through. I sat down, back against a tree, and stared up through its branches. I hoped Shizuka was alright. The doctor had said if we waited much longer, she'd be blind.

It felt like so much was riding on my shoulders…

My head snapped up in surprise as a twig snapped. Slowly, I turned towards the source of the sound. Kaiba was standing there, dumbfounded as I was. He looked around at the trees, at the stream.

"God damnit." He tore a strip of fabric off the bottom of his cloak and tied it around a low branch. And stopped when he saw me sitting there, my tough guy expression super glued in place. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Could ask the same a' you. Look like yer lost or somethin'."

"I am not lost," was the indignant reply. Kaiba glared at me. "But everything looks the same in here, and I'm merely putting a marker so I don't end up here again."

"Sure ya are." He turned his annoyed glance away from me. He became slightly nervous.

It was barely a whisper, but I could still hear it: "Now… which way did I come…?" Ha ha… little Kaiba's lost.

I decided to pop into his thoughts with a bit of wisdom. "It'd be a lot easier if ya just admitted to yerself that yer lost."

"I don't remember asking for your opinion, Katsuya." I shrugged. "But since you're here, which way is out?"

An idea dawned in my mind. I grinned mischievously. "Why should I tell you, eh? Iono…you ain't exactly been the nicest guy in Domino…"

His eyes took on a nasty gleam, but his body tensed. "What?"

"Yeah…I don't think I'll help you…been such a bastard lately, I don't think you deserve my help."

Kaiba slammed down his case and sat on it, folded his legs. "Alright then. We'll play it your way. What are your terms?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Eh?" I finally didn't have to look up to see him clearly. It was weird.

"What the fuck do I have to do to make you tell me how to get out of this leafy hellhole?!" he barked. His hair was windblown all over and a streak of dirt decorated his cheek. I noticed a clear streak that cut through it…and smirked inwardly.

Heh. Probably bawled because he broke a nail. The smile was back in place. "Hmmm… Iono if I should tell you at all…"

"Katsuya Jonouchi, I am very tired, very frustrated, and becoming very angry. If you do not tell me very soon, I will beat you to a bloodstain where you sit and still expect you to show me the way out. Without getting us more lost."

And his face was serious.

"A'ight. 'ere's my conditions."

"Yes?"

"One. No more of dis comparin' me ta animals business. Dat means da monkey jokes gotta stop."

He glared, but muttered, "Fine."

"Two. Quit pickin' on Yugi." His glare grew darker.

"Okay…"

"Three, do me a favor and beat Anzu up?"

"Gladly."

"And Four…"

His deep blue eyes rolled towards the heavens. "Another?"

"Hey." I rested an elbow on my knee and leaned forward. "It's not every day you're holding da cards above Seto Kaiba's head, am I right? Ya don't agree, ya don't get out. Very simple. Four…'n' I can't think of anything right now. So three."

He scribbled my commands on a slip of paper and read them back to me.

I nodded, smiling, hands behind my head, crazy plans forming like scribbles on a chalkboard. "Dat's right. Gonna shake on it or what?" He stuck out his hand; we did. It was almost funny seeing how desperate he was not to get lost.

Suddenly, I pulled him closer, catching him off guard. He stopped an inch away from my face, eyes wide. "But, go back on yer word…" I leaned in and kissed him hungrily. I finally pulled away and finished, "…and what just happened does not stay in the forest."

But a malicious smile grew on his face, cobalt eyes lighting up. "That's a feeble threat. I could ruin your reputation just as fast." Before I could react, he straddled me and returned the kiss with the best French I'd ever had.

But the second he let go of my lips, I smirked up at him and mumbled, "Guess what—I was lost too."

His beautiful eyes hardened like ice. He glared at me for a minute, then whispered, "Shut up," as he went for my neck.

Fin.

:P

MUAHAHAHA.

I'm very proud of this. Day after Christmas, I've already done a Children of the Red King one-shot installment in the holiday collection I began, finished a chapter for 'Somewhere I Belong' and written another. I stopped myself before writing the sixth.

I had time for this as well. Cheah's going to kill me, I don't think I'll ever finish The Circle over at FPC. X.x; Oh, well.

Anyway, I'm gonna leave the lemony goodness up to you…I'm sure you could take this anywhere you wanted. Fare well… Muah. -Suchan