A/N: Well, I hadn't been planning on updating this right away—I had another one-shot lined up to update—but after seeing some of the fics that were posted recently, I thought this was kind of . . . needed. Ahem.
The reviewers. . . .
Flamethrowerqueen: Thanks a lot! I really, really had a lot of fun writing it. Good luck on venturing into the section—I've only managed to read summaries for the most part.
As for fic recommendations, I'd say anything by Empress Dotdotdot would be excellent reading. She's very under-appreciated in the fandom. I also enjoyed "Predilection," by D-chan. It was a lovely piece of Kyo/Tohru fluff, but pulled off very well. . . . And you know, those are all the fics I've read and enjoyed in this fandom. I think I could do with some recommendations, myself. . . . When (hopefully not if) I get around to e-mailing you (sorry, I'm terrible at correspondence), we really should discuss this sometime.
Jennalyn: Nice to see that you knew exactly what kind of "special" girls I was targeting. ::grins:: And I'm glad you like my writing style; I'm something of a grammar Nazi (and you spelled "grammar" right—major kudos to you!), so I wouldn't be able to tolerate errors. After this admission, watch me make a bunch of glaring ones. Heh.
RedLady: Indeed they will be tormented. But at least we can laugh about it (hopefully).
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Thanks for reviewing!
This, the second chapter, is actually the second-last chapter. It's very short, but I didn't have the time (or inspiration, for that matter) to write anything longer. So I hope you'll enjoy Overused Sue Plot Idea Number Two: the transfer student from America!
Oh, and on a final note, I am aware of the Akito spoiler, but because this is written from the points of view of people who don't know it yet, I'm going to be referring to Akito incorrectly. Just so you know!
O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O
The family's wish for peace was not to be. All through the remainder of Saturday the four were inundated with a plague of girls. They came from all walks of life, yet every one of them had several things in common—they were all young, pretty or beautiful, had injuries that were very rapidly ignored, and were interested in starting a romance with one of the men.
With the dawning of Sunday came a new variable to the problem. Although the girls followed the same pattern as before, this time, they all seemed to be related to Tohru, Hana, or Uo. Cousins, sisters both young and old, even one or two youngish aunts . . . it didn't matter to the Sohmas and Tohru. It was a nuisance no matter what the girls' stories were.
Another problem was what to call them besides "the girls." Between getting rid of one girl and discovering the next, Shigure somehow settled on the name "Mary-Sue," since a good number of them seemed to come from America and it seemed to him to be a proper American name. At first the others thought his idea rather silly, but regardless, the name stuck.
On Monday, after putting out the first Mary-Sue of the morning—Uo's "sister," come to visit Yuki—Kyo sighed.
"School's almost gonna be a relief today," he commented, scowling. "At least we'll be able to get away from these stupid Mary-Sues!"
"I must admit, this is a most trying situation." Yuki sighed and slipped on his shoes at the door.
Tohru slid the door open. "I don't know. They seem rather nice to me, although a little, um, single-minded."
Kyo stared at her. "How can you say that? They ignore you constantly!"
"Um, well, when they do talk to me, they seem fine to me." Tohru smiled. "And besides, maybe if we're nice to them, they'll tell us where they're coming from."
Kyo snorted. "Yeah, go ahead and be nice. I'll just keep shoving them out the door."
Yuki said nothing, but frowned slightly. A good number of the Mary-Sues that went after him tended to say rather nasty things about Miss Honda, in the hopes that it would increase their worth in his eyes. To be truthful, it had the exact opposite effect, and he tended to get rid of those Sues even faster than the usual ones.
Arriving at school, they dropped off their extra gear in their lockers before hurrying to class. Because they were a little later than usual due to a last-minute Mary-Sue disposal, the three didn't have time to talk to their friends beforehand and barely had time to sit down before their teacher walked into the room.
"All right, all, settle," he said. "We have a lot of work to do today, so—"
A knock on the door interrupted him. It opened, and in stepped a girl with, once again, blond hair and emerald eyes.
"Um, I'm Caitlin," she said. "I'm an exchange student from America, and I was told this was the class I was supposed to be in."
Her eyes locked onto Yuki's. The prince came dangerously close to gulping.
"I don't recall being informed of this. . . ." The teacher shrugged. "Well, find a seat and welcome to the class. I'll work on the administrative business after school."
The girl smiled triumphantly. Grabbing an empty desk from halfway across the room, she planted it firmly next to Yuki—as close as she possibly could. Yuki leaned back and tried not to groan.
"Another Sue." Kyo smirked. "Have fun with it."
However, before he could continue making fun of Yuki, the door to the class opened again.
"Who are you?" the teacher asked, confused.
"I'm Tiffani," she said, tossing her long black hair. "I'm a transfer student from America."
"You too?" The teacher looked bewildered; the Sohmas and Tohru merely looked resigned. "Er, well, you find a seat, too, I guess."
Grabbing hold of the desk by the door, Tiffani lugged it all the way to where Kyo was sitting and settled herself right next to him. Tohru could almost see Kyo's hair stand on end as Tiffani scooted close to him and smiled dangerously.
"Strange," Hana said. "Those two girls . . . their electric signals are odd."
"Two girls from America in one day." Uo folded her arms. "What are the chances?"
"Getting better all the time," Kyo managed as another girl walked in the door.
"Hi, I'm a transfer student from America. My name's Lorelei."
Tohru noted that for some reason, Lorelei's skirt was considerably shorter than what the other girls wore.
"How many more of you are there?" the teacher asked in desperation.
"What do you mean?" Lorelei's sea-crystal-blue eyes narrowed. "I'm an original."
"Um, right." He didn't look like he wanted to argue. "Well . . . find a seat wherever you can. We're out of desks at the moment."
"Right." Lorelei smiled in a sickeningly sweet way and sat on the corner of Yuki's desk. "Hi, Prince Yuki."
Help, Yuki thought.
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All through the morning, more and more girls walked through the door. When three showed up simultaneously, Tohru's teacher nearly cried. As it was, he was approaching a nervous breakdown by the time lunch came.
"So what's up with all these girls?" Uo asked, seated on the school's roof.
The Mary-Sues had tried to follow the group onto the roof, but after having Kyo threaten to push them off, they decided to worship at a distance.
"You got me." Haru shrugged. "They keep on showing up wherever I go."
"We're not really sure where they come from and we don't trust what they've told us," Yuki said. "Shigure calls them 'Mary-Sues' since a lot of them seem to be from America and it seemed like a good American name to him."
"Um, they certainly are persistent, aren't they?" Tohru looked down at the crowd of Sues rather dubiously from their rooftop sanctuary.
"I'll say," Uo agreed.
"Their electric waves are most unpleasant . . . jarring, almost," Hana commented. "I do not like to think about the adverse effect they would have on Tohru. I shall have to take steps to rectify this."
Kyo looked rather creeped out. "What kind of steps?"
Hana simply looked at him.
"Hey everyone, look at this!" Momiji called from where he was peering over the roof's edge. "It looks like that weird girl who likes Yuki so much is going to take on those Mary-Sue things!"
"Which girl is that?" Uo asked. "That description fits most of the girls in the school."
"Motoko Something-or-other. You know." Momiji waved an arm at them, impatient. "Come look!"
"Motoko Minegawa?" Hana nodded once, slowly. "Yes. I remember her. As does Megumi."
Despite the fact that they were a couple floors up, the group could still easily hear Motoko.
"You're not all chasing after Prince Yuki, are you?" Motoko stared the group of Sues down.
A girl with seemingly natural blue hair stepped forward out of the crowd. "And if we are?"
"I'm Motoko Minegawa, president of the Prince Yuki Fanclub, and I'm here to tell you right now that you're breaking all the rules concerning the prince." She thrust her finger forward aggressively. "On behalf of the fanclub, I'm asking—no, demanding—that you back off now and follow correct procedure."
Some Sues wandered away, uninterested in Yuki. Those that remained simply scowled at Motoko.
"I don't think so," the blue-haired girl said. "Besides, we're special and you're not. What makes you think Prince Yuki would take an interest in you when there's someone like me around?" She flicked her long blue hair to drive the point home.
Motoko gaped at them angrily as the group of girls began to preen, each showing off her specialness.
"You're just jealous of our abilities and backgrounds," the same girl continued. "And you'll keep on being jealous when I claim Yuki for myself."
The other Mary-Sue girls started to babble in disagreement at her words, each claiming she would be the one to win the prince's heart. However, Motoko's voice cut through the noise.
"If that's the way things are going to be, then fine." Motoko folded her arms across her chest. "You've just earned the eternal enmity of the Prince Yuki Fanclub. You've made your bed and you're going to have to lie in it."
"Only if the prince is in it, too!" one Sue-girl called out from the crowd.
Motoko fixed them all with a furious glare before spinning precisely on her heel and walking away, back rigid.
"Whoa," Uo commented, still watching from the roof. "Looks like those girls are in for it now. Insulting the Prince Yuki Fanclub . . . I wouldn't want to be in their shoes."
"It looks like it is going to be a rather interesting afternoon," Haru said, stepping away from the edge of the roof.
Yuki looked uncomfortable with the attention, but said, "At least it looks like I'm going to have some bodyguards now."
"Some very effective ones, too." Kyo shuddered slightly. "Man, those girls are scary."
"Which group of girls?" Tohru asked.
"Both!" he answered with feeling as the warning bell, signalling the end of the lunch period, sounded.
The group picked up their gear and climbed down from the roof. The group of Mary-Sues, having a short attention span, had already wandered away, and so they were able to walk to class relatively unmolested.
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Hatsuharu was right. Class was considerably more interesting now that two of the school's factions had declared war on one another. Their teacher remained oblivious to the reasons for the current warfare in his class, though he certainly wasn't unaware of the pranks that the girls played on one another. His teachings began to sound somewhat like the following:
"And then in 1892, the—Keiko, untie Cryzalys' braids from her chair right now! And stay after class to clean up the room. . . . Anyway, as I was saying, in 1892—Zachini, don't try to tell me you spilled that ink on Makiko by accident! I saw you aim that leaky pen at her! You're going to have to help Keiko clean the class and buy Makiko a new blouse. Why don't you go get cleaned up, Makiko? . . . Let me try again. In 1982—"
"That's 1892," Kyo said, leaning away from one of his admirers.
Their teacher put his head in his hands and didn't speak for quite some time. Then, with a huge sigh, he looked up and began again. "In 1892. . . ."
Uo chuckled as she watched a Prince Yuki Fanclub girl casually stick out her leg as a Mary-Sue walked by on the way to the toilets. Only her unnatural balance saved the silver-haired girl from falling flat on her face, though it was a near thing.
"This is hilarious." Uo was still grinning. "I haven't enjoyed a class this much in years."
Yuki seemed uncomfortable. "It's rather frightening, though."
Kyo used his textbook to shield Tohru from an errant spitball. "I'd rather not be sitting in a war zone, thanks all the same." He cursed as another spitball hit him on the ear. "Geez, who's shooting those things? Their aim sucks."
"I suppose shooting spitballs isn't a skill most of those things cultivate," Yuki said.
"Er, our teacher is looking at us; we probably should stop talking." Tohru blushed and faced the front of the class again.
For the rest of the afternoon, the friends tried to take in whatever lesson their teacher was attempting to give. However, despite his valiant efforts, the ongoing war between the Mary-Sues—who were ever-increasing in number—and the Prince Yuki fanclub—who were ever-increasing in determination—managed to take up most of the afternoon.
It was with great relief that Tohru's teacher ended the class that day, and it was with equal relief that the group filed out of the class.
Another dilemma popped up, though, when Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru walked out of the school.
"Argh, those freaky girls are following us!" Kyo hunched his shoulders.
"Oh dear." Tohru nervously looked at their stalkers.
Yuki halted. "This could be a bit of a problem. Hmm." He thought for a moment, and then raised his voice. "I can't wait to go to that new snack place. I've been anticipating it all day and I'm so hungry. Aren't you, Tohru?"
"Huh?" Tohru looked at him, puzzled.
Kyo caught on. "Yeah, I hear they have some of the best food in the city."
"But Kyo . . . Yuki . . . we don't have any money."
"I brought some," Kyo and Yuki chorused quickly.
"Oh, well . . . okay, then. I'll just pay you back later, all right?" Tohru smiled.
"It's pretty small, though," Yuki said. "So we had better hurry to make sure we get seats."
Behind them, frantic whispering could be heard as the Mary-Sue group tried to decide which new restaurant the three were talking about. Suddenly, they all bolted in wildly varying directions, each one wanting to grab a seat in the restaurant so they wouldn't be left out in the cold.
Kyo and Yuki simply waited for the last of the "transfer students" to clear out before casually beginning to walk in the direction of Shigure's house. Tohru looked confused, and jogged to catch up.
"Um, weren't we going to that restaurant?" she asked.
Yuki shook his head. "No. That was just a ruse to get them to leave us alone."
"Oh . . . but, that wasn't very nice." She seemed rather upset.
"Yeah, well, the stupid things deserve it," Kyo grumbled. "They're just lucky I'm too worn out from putting them out all weekend or I would've done a lot more than send them on a wild goose chase!"
"Yes, but. . . ." Tohru sighed. It seemed that they were doing a lot of nasty things lately, and she felt badly about it. She kept imagining what it would be like to be one of those girls, and how disappointed they always were when Kyo, Yuki, and Shigure kept getting rid of them. It made her rather . . . uncomfortable. But then again, those girls were pretty scary. . . .
Arriving home, the three discovered only a lone male sitting outside the door, obviously waiting for them. He actually seemed fairly normal. For one thing, he wasn't a girl, which was unusual right there. For another, he looked pretty regular—maybe a touch more good-looking than the average people of the town, but nothing spectacular.
But their hopes were dashed when he elegantly rose to his feet and opened his mouth.
"Greetings, Tohru. I've been waiting for you for quite some time now." He stepped closer to her.
"For . . . me?" Tohru seemed surprised. After being ignored for so long, it was a real change to be spoken to for once.
Behind her, Yuki and Kyo traded displeased looks. The new boy ignored them and instead favoured Tohru with a sparkling smile that must have taken days of brushing to be so white.
"Yes, you." He picked up one of her hands and clasped it in his large—but pleasantly so—hands. "You are a jewel . . . dazzling. I have been smitten by your beauty. Please say you will become my love—I would like that above all things."
"Uh. . . ." Tohru's eyes dropped from his face to where he was still holding her hand. "I, uh. . . ."
Kyo and Yuki nodded at one another. Then Yuki took hold of Tohru's shoulders and steered her out of the way as Kyo snapped his fisted hand straight at the boy's chin; Tohru let out a yelp of distress when fist and chin connected. Then Yuki took hold of his feet and Kyo grabbed him under his arms and the two carted him off to some nearby bushes.
Kyo dusted off his hands. "There!" He looked very satisfied.
"I suppose we could call him a Gary-Stu," Yuki said, looking at the bushes where the Gary-Stu's feet protruded. "It's an American name and it rhymes with Mary-Sue, after all."
Very loud shrieks and wails interrupted Yuki's musings. The three looked towards the house where Shigure was escorting a Mary-Sue out of the house.
"Yes, yes, I know I'm the love of your life, but really, I don't have any more room to house a transfer student from America," Shigure told her. "Try someplace in the city."
"But 'Gure-chan!" the girl wailed. "My heart beats for you and only you! I must be close to you! And I can! Didn't you notice you didn't transform when I hugged you?"
Shigure raised his eyebrows. "I suggest you see a doctor—but not Hatori; he has enough problems on his hands at the moment. You seem to be hallucinating. Why on earth would I transform?"
Overcome, the girl stomped off, still bawling away. Ignoring her, Shigure looked around to make sure there were no more Sues and noticed Tohru, Yuki, and Kyo.
"Ah, there you are, everyone," he greeted them. "Hatori just called. Apparently, Akito has just called a meeting of all Zodiac members—plus the cat, too, of course," he added, noticing Kyo begin to fume.
Yuki stiffened. "I'm not going." He tried to brush past Shigure and enter the house, but Shigure dropped a hand on his shoulder to halt him.
"I'm afraid you don't have much choice." Shigure sounded sympathetic. "This is an emergency, after all. All those girls seemed to have something in common—they all knew our secret. And they might blab it to others. Then who knows what the consequences would be?"
Yuki stood still for a moment, imagining. Then, without another word, he entered the house, went into his room, and shut the door.
"Poor Yuki," Tohru murmured as Kyo headed for the roof. Tohru knew that Yuki was afraid of Akito for some reason. She couldn't really understand why; Akito had seemed very pleasant when he had shown up at their high school a while ago. Yet the fact remained that Akito held something over Yuki's head. She wished she could go with him—and Kyo, who didn't seem to be precisely fond of Akito, either—but it was clear that she would only be intruding.
Sighing, Tohru went inside to start working on supper and hoped things would calm down by the next day. All those Mary-Sues were hard on everyone's nerves.