The air was brisk and I was moving slowly down the snow covered sidewalks. It laid like a cold blanket across the ground and I could hear the crunching sounds my footsteps made as I traveled. I had just left from a late night rehearsal, the chill in the air did not help the sour attitude that had possessed me all day. I clutched my scarf tighter around my neck as I felt the chill of the wind run down my spine. I plunged my mitten covered hands into my winter coat.

As I rounded the corner, I looked up and could see my home. The windows were dark , and there was no one to greet me when I entered. That's the way it had been all those years after he had left London. After he had left me.

I shook off the memory that was starting to creep in. I walked up my steps to my door and opened it. The house was cool as I kicked my boots against the door frame to shake off the excess snow from them. I tossed my bag onto the hall tree and shrugged off my heavy coat.

I flipped on the foyer light and proceeded to enter the living room. I went to the fireplace and lit a fire. I felt the warmth of the flames tickle the feeling back into my hands and face. I stayed crouched enjoying watching the flames dance and hearing the crackle of the wood as it burned. It made me want to curl up on the sofa with my blanket, a nice book and a glass of wine.

I pulled myself away and headed further down the hall to my bedroom. The room was cool, but I quickly turned on the radiator in the bedroom. I opened the door to the bathroom and immediately turned on the faucet to the tub. I needed a deep soak to wash away the day.

I stripped and slowly lowered myself into the water. Once I was submerged I felt the muscles ease. I had been carrying tension in my entire body for a long while. Too long.

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. Although I wanted to relax, the memories of him would creep back in at the quite moments. And I would begin to become angry all over again.. I opened my eyes and I started to scrub my body viciously. It did no good, I couldn't cleanse myself of his memory.

I hurried myself out of the bath and wrapped myself in my robe. I wrapped a towel around my hair and slid on my slippers. I walked out of bathroom and headed towards my dresser. As I was digging around in my dresser to find a pair of pajamas , I glanced up. There it sat…my jewelry box. I had forgotten that I had taken it our of the bottom drawer yesterday while I was cleaning . I must have forgotten to put it back.

I glided my hand across the top of it. He had bought this for me in Prague. I had been on tour and he had flown out to be with me. While I was in rehearsal he had bought it at this antique market and surprised me with it at dinner. It was wood and it was hand carved with the city of Prague. That night at dinner, he had told me to open it and there sat the most beautiful piece of Jewlery. He had told me it was an infinity necklace. It was to represent us. That our love was infinite.

I scoffed out loud at the memory. But my eyes began to well with tears when I thought about the other piece of jewelry. My engagement ring. It was a 1 Carat Custom Halo Antique Emerald Cut diamond. I was tempted to open the box and admire it. As my hand drew closer to opening the box, the memories came flooding back. That special weekend in Venice.

He had arranged a small getaway weekend. He was nervous about something all evening and it was evident. But I kept quite in fear that it was news that I didn't want to hear.

The first night he had arranged for us to have a private tour of the city by Gondola. Which typically those rides last only 30 minutes. However, he must have planned far in advance to give us extra time. We toured the city by water. Lazily wrapped in each other arms. Each of us speaking in hush words reflecting on our relationship. As the boat ride was nearly done. I was the first to exit as he held my hand. And I turned around and he was still in the gondola on one knee. For a moment I thought he had dropped something , but then I had noticed the box he was holding.

He looked up at me. His face was beaming with the biggest smile. I heard faint music approaching us. A quartet of violinist were playing a song. At first, I was so dumbstruck at what was happening that I didn't catch on to the tune they were playing, but as they drew near I understood. He had picked the song "in the still of the night". He knew I loved it and it was from my favorite movie. A tear slowly escaped and he asked me "will you marry me?"

My fingers had lifted the lid ever so slightly when the phone blared. I immediately dropped the lid and shut the memory out. I raced to the phone across the room. It was late in London, so only a few people would dare to call. I answered, "hello?"

"Bren, hey I hope I didn't wake you." Brandon said.

I smiled. It was like he had a radar of when I was going to spiral into that deep dark hole. "no, I was awake. Hadn't been home long. What's up?"

"Good, have you checked your email today?" he asked.

Not the typical question from my brother. "no, like I said…I just got in."

"Well you may want to check it. We got an invitation." He replied.

I was in no mood for games. "who is it from?" I asked as I headed towards my computer.

"Its from Steve." He said. He wasn't going to tell me until I read it.

I opened my laptop and pulled up my emails. It was the last email I received. I opened it and to my surprise it was regarding Maddie.

"what is this?" I questioned out loud.

"Keep reading." He pushed

As I read in further detail. Maddie was going to be in a play in New York. I had been invited to attend her opening night at the Richard Rodgers Theatre. Holy crap! Maddie was staring as Jane Banks in Mary Poppins on Broadway. "really?! She got the part?" I squealed.

I am sure that Brandon had pulled the phone away from his ear. It took a moment for him to respond. "yeah, and she wants her Aunt to attend." He said.

I was beyond excited and delighted in the news. Maddie was talented. And I knew she would get the part. She had called me every night going over the lines for months. The phone bill was astronomical. But I didn't care. "oh, I am so happy for her."

"Me too. Sophia and I will be attending. I hope this means you will be coming too?" he questioned.

"of course!" I exclaimed.

Immediately I understood what he was asking really. What if he is there? How will I deal with seeing him? "I'll be fine." I answered without him having to actually ask.

"are you sure?" he probed.

I let out a held breath "yes, I am going to see Maddie on her opening night. Knowing him…he probably won't show anyway." I answered back.

"OK. Well opening night is coming up in a week. Can you get out of rehearsals?"

"I can…it won't be a problem." I answered. I didn't inform him that the rehearsals that I had been attending were not for a play. I hadn't done one in nearly a year.

"Great. You flying into New York?" he asked.

"yeah, I'll fly there. I'll send you my information once I book my flight. Also, I'll let Val know I am coming. I'm sure she will be ecstatic to see me." I answered

"She most definitely will be. Wasn't she just in London?" he asked.

"Yes. We had a lovely time while she was here." I answered back.

Val and I had mended our fences a long time ago. Now, I considered her my best friend. She flew out to be with me when things fell apart with him. She had been my rock through it all.

There was a moment of silence on the phone."Bran?"

He acknowledged me by making a noise. "I'll be fine. Are you going to be?" I asked

It was his turn. " I am happy Bren. I've moved on for a long time now. I am happy with Sophia. She is 'the one'."

I smiled. Sophia had been the best thing that had ever happened to Brandon. "good" I replied.

"How about you? Anyone yet?" he didn't usually ask, but I knew he wanted me to be happy.

"No, Bran. There isn't anyone." I sounded defeated. Every time I tried to move on, it would be halted for my feeling for him. It was something I couldn't get passed.

"Bren—" he started, but I interrupted. "Brandon, I love you. But this isn't open for discussion. I know you want me to be happy. And I am trying. It's just hard…you know?"

"I know. It's different for you. I'll leave it alone. Anyway, I can't wait to see you." He replied.

"same. I miss you Bran. It's been too long since you and Sophia were here."

"I know. Ill plan to visit in a few months. Its hard to get away these days." He laughed a little.

I laughed too. We spoke a few more moments and then disconnected the call.

I stared at my email and quickly responded back that I would be attending. I logged into the airlines and booked a flight. Sent a quick email to Val to let her know I was attending the opening night. And the details of my flight. I shut my laptop and picked up the phone. I called Maddie.

"hello?" she answered on the first ring.

"Congratulations sweet girl! I knew you could do it!" I exclaimed.

"Aunt Bren! Are you coming? I am so excited! Thank you for all of your help! Thank you. Thank you! Thank you!" she said quickly.

I laughed. " Of course I am coming. I wouldn't miss it for the world! And no thanks is needed. You did this. And remember 'There's the whole world at your feet…'"

" 'And who gets to see it but the birds, the stars, and the chimney sweeps'" she laughed

"you my dear girl are a star!" I said.

"Thank you Aunt Bren. I love you." She replied.

It always melted my heart when she said it. "I love you too my sweet girl. Now Aunt Bren, has got to get some shut eye."

" ok. Call me tomorrow." She replied.

I told her I would and we disconnected the call.

I was extremely happy with Maddie's accomplishment. She was only 8 and had scored a role that was meant for someone a little older than her. She was mature and it showed in her acting abilities. Steve and Janet must be so proud of her. I know I was. It was hard to believe she was already 8 now. It just seemed like yesterday that she was born.

I immediately thought of him and her attending Maddie's big night. After all, they were her Godparents. I didn't want to think about that. I had one more phone call to make. And then I was going to grab my book and a big glass of wine and sit on of sofa and enjoy the rest of my night.

I picked up the receiver and dialed. I heard a voice all too familiar. "this better be good." He said into the receiver.

I could tell he hadn't been asleep. "don't give me attitude." I said curtly.

"it's my favorite girl. How are you tonight?" he had perked up.

"I need a favor." I replied

"Anything for you." He answered

"You got plans this weekend?" I asked

"I'll cancel whatever to spend time with you." He responded.

"I'm sure you will. It's a big favor." I said

"how big?" he asked.

"Go to New York with me." I said.

"ok." He responded.

"That's it. No details. No asking why?" I quizzed

"Bren, I don't need to know. You know I would do it for you." He said

I knew he would. All I had to do was ask. He was my best friend here in London. I know he had always had my back. "thanks, but there is more."

"Shoot…" he said.

"He might be there and with her. I need you to—" I started, but he knew before I even asked. "I told you. I will do anything for you. Including, be the eye candy for the weekend." He said

I smiled, "thank you. I owe you one."

"No, my darling. You don't owe me a thing. Get some rest. I'll see you at rehearsal tomorrow." He replied

"alright. Good night John" I said back

"goodnight, love"

Maybe I'll survive this trip after all.