Disclaimer: Touya belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi. However, at this point in the story, unless otherwise stated, all other charries are property of ME!

Warning: swearing, Touya going slightly mad ((Like that Queen song!)), violence, lemon ((implied and quasi-graphic, but no stronger…)), some severe cruelty and severe mental wackiness.

Re: Miyuki. You will read about her later, to see another idea of her... creation, see my song fic "Hello", the woman is Miyuki. However, I didn't want to incorporate that directly into this fic. Mix and match as you like. Also, "Trapped" Links back to this. So, if you want Touya's wailing explained, here's where to come.

In case you missed: This is only my idea for Touya's past ((3rd person POV)) It is original work; it is not Yoshihiro Togashi's charrie desc. for Touya; this is not gospel, this is just good, semi-sadistic fun!

FINAL NOTE! PLEASE READ! Since you can't submit multiple signed reviews to a single chappie, if you wish to send another review, send an anonymous review with your name and e-mail me at impersonatinganentity Sorry for the spaces - you know , no links growls

Also, I finally reformated into proper chapters. If you've been keeping up, you should start roughly mid way down the second Chappie.

On to the story!

A young woman, a youkai of ice, holds tightly an infant to her chest. "Touya," she breathes, and the sleeping child stirs from the cool breath that brushes its ear from its mother's words. His eyes open, long and slit-like, revealing light blue eyes. His tiny hand grasps a lock of his mother's rippling blue-violet hair. His own hair is straight and light blue, a silent testimony to his father.

His father enters the tiny room. His mother looks up, fear and worry evident in her face and manner. "You can not hurt this child. His name is Touya. I will care for him," she says, and though her voice shakes at her defiance, it is clear she will die to protect the babe.

"No. I would not let my own son be killed. You may care for him for now, but when he grows old enough, he will train under me," replies the man, his voice resolute, but strangely kind, almost apologizing. The woman is his servant, and his lover, one of many. The child, Touya, is his son, and will also be his servant.

Laughter, quiet, so as not to draw undue attention, but laughter all the same, drifts from a young boy. Though just over 105 years old, he appears as only a small child, and acts like one quite often too. This youkai boy, who seems to be only seven, is a strange one. One minute, he romps about like a child, but at the sight of a tall, forbidding man with straight hair like his, the boy becomes quiet and submissive. He is still quite innocent, though due to his age he is more mature than he appears.

He hugs his mother, toying with her long strands of crinkly, blue-violet hair. She smiles at him, gently patting him on the head. "Mother, tell me more about your homeland, before you came here." They both knew she was enslaved, and he was too, but they always acted as though they were both there willingly. Touya could only barely understand the concept of slavery, so it was easier for them both to pretend they stayed of their own free will. And they were lucky to an extent, their master, while sometimes harsh, was just, and didn't give unwarranted punishment.

She smiles. "Hai, Toy-chan. I came from the floating lands of the koorime. It was always like a ningen's wonderful winter carnivals, every day! We all had colorful booths to sell our goods and people always talked and laughed. Children ran and played in the street, and candles in all colors, especially lavender and pale blue, lit each booth and the lampposts as well. Everything was coated in delicate layers of ice, which shone in the light, and snowflakes fell quietly at all times. Everything was silver and white and soft-looking."

Touya's eyes glinted brightly, as he listened eagerly to his mother, and though he'd heard her describe her homeland often, it never got old because there were always slight changes, and because Touya had always been interested in going and seeing for himself. He had promised to himself, on multiple occasions, that one day he would be freed, and he would go see that wonderland.

Reika held Touya, now 152 years old, and appearing only ten. Hiroshi glared at her. "Reika, you knew you would have to let me take him eventually. You agreed at his birth that I would allow you to watch him till the time came for me to take him and train him."

Reika, Touya's mother, was crying, "But do you have to take him from me? Let him stay with his mother, he's still so young!" Touya let his hand tangle with his mother's, as tears fell silently down his cheeks.

"Hiroshi-sama, please allow me to return to my mother's rooms after you train me each day," Touya pleaded, burrowing deeper into his mother's embrace.

Hiroshi, Touya's father, sighed and shook his head. "No. I will train you to be a warrior, and warriors do not return to their mother's to cry after each training session. Warriors learn to be self-sufficient. Now come along, Touya. It's time." Touya's tears began to fall faster, running down his cheeks, which were a shocking, feverish red. Rather, red-violet, because of the tint of Touya's icy blood. Hiroshi scowled. "I had been planning to take you away a few decades ago, but I decided to allow you a little longer. I've been generous, now it's time for you to come along."

Regretfully, hesitatingly, Reika released her grip on Touya, but she in no way urged him forward. Touya made no move, nor did he let go of his mother's hand. Finally, Hiroshi took an abrupt step forward and grabbed Touya by his hair, tugging him away. "NO!" Touya yelled, kicking Hiroshi, his own father, forcefully.

Hiroshi then lifted him up, by his hair still, till they were eye to eye. He glared at Touya, saying, "Do you want to fight me? If you do, that's fine. In fact, if at any time the fancy strikes you to pick a fight with me, then you just tell me and we'll go find an arena and have a good clean fight. But I'll let you know now; I'm not one for pity. I won't kick you when you're down, but I won't give soft punches either. So do you want to fight, or are you going to come with me like a good boy? You do realize I will still allow you to see your mother occasionally, don't you?"

Touya squirmed for a few moments in his father's grasp; quickly realizing that it hurt more to do so. "Fine. I'll come," he finally said, malice in his eyes.

Touya held a boken clumsily, as Hiroshi adjusted his grip. His eyes were blank as ice, as his father showed him a guard position. He copied, with a few corrections along the way. He had been practicing with the boken for weeks now, and still was having trouble with even the most basic things, hold, stance, and positions among other problems.

"Damn it, you're not even trying, are you?" his father muttered. Touya stood still, his mind elsewhere. Hiroshi smacked him on the head with his own boken. "Wake up! Baka!" Touya shook his head, blinking.

"I'm not a natural like you," he said quietly.

Hiroshi scowled. "You can learn to be natural. I did."

"How do you learn to be natural?" Touya asked.

Hiroshi shrugged. "You just do. Now. The pattern dance I showed you the other week. Have you been practicing? You better have been, because I want you to do it now."

Touya began the pattern dance, Hiroshi acting the part of the attacker, making the strikes that went with the blocks that made the pattern dance. Touya, apparently, had not practiced the pattern dance. He got hit several times, and began to get jittery after the first few hits.

Hiroshi scowled. "Work, Touya. I need you to eat, drink, sleep, and breathe kendo. It must be the only thing you ever think of." He noticed Touya was, once again, off in his own world. He sighed, and pulled a paper charm from his sleeve. On it was the symbol for fire. While he had become conditioned to the fire burn of such charms, Touya hadn't, and his link with ice, through both his parents, would ensure that one touch would be a painful experience.

Hiroshi grabbed Touya by his hair and held the fire charm to his soft white cheek. Touya barely registered his father's motion before a searing heat struck his soft, pale cheek, which quickly turned a brilliant crimson. He screamed, his legs collapsing under him, hanging by his hair from Hiroshi's hand. Tears fell from his eyes, and Hiroshi slowly removed the paper charm. "More willing to pay attention now?" Hiroshi asked. Touya nodded sullenly, a hand placed gently on his blistering cheek.

Touya rubbed aloe over his face. He had refused to cooperate at all, and his father had been very angry. But the burns were worth it. Hiroshi had promised he could see his mother tomorrow, if he would begin cooperating and practicing. Touya had agreed.

"Mother?"

"Oh, my Touya! It's been so long! I missed you dear! Oh, how old must you be now? Almost 200, right?" Reika cried out, running to her young son.

"Almost, mother. I've missed you so! Mother. Mother, I love you!" Touya looked about 13 by human standards, but now he broke down like a child, enveloped in his mother's arms. "Oh, mother! I hate him! I hate how he keeps us apart! I miss you, mother! Why can't he just leave us alone?"

"Touya, my poor dear. Don't say that. He's your father. I love him, too. He has his reasons, dear. Things could be worse, dear, much worse. You must remember that. Be thankful for what you have, my Touya. Just cry now, dear. Just let it out." Touya did just that, wrapping his arms around his mother's neck as his mother held him and gently stroked his hair, comfortingly. Touya soon fell asleep in his mother's gentle arms.

Touya's eyes slit open; seemingly at the same time the dawn's first light pierced his window. He stood and began preparing for another day. As he'd promised, he'd begun working on his kendo properly. Once he had started taking it seriously, he discovered he enjoyed the furious strokes of the pattern dances. It was calming in a way. Since, Hiroshi had not had to push him to practice. Especially once they'd covered the basics.

Touya had surprised himself, the day he'd awoken and thought about how he looked forward to his next lesson. But he'd slid into it easily, and Hiroshi had been secretly very pleased at Touya's newfound desire to master kendo.

Touya took a brisk shower, put on his clothes and took up his katana. It had only been a few days ago that Hiroshi had given him his katana and told Touya that he was ready to put away his boken. It was another thing that surprised Touya – he was incredibly proud that Hiroshi had decided he was good enough. He hadn't even asked to use a katana in a long time.

Touya felt himself smile softly... he felt triumphant. Perhaps since he'd apparently done so well... Perhaps he would ask to see his mother again. It had been three or four decades since he'd last seen her – in exchange for his cooperation in his training. Since, he'd become so involved, he hadn't thought as much about her, though the night always brought her face back.

The smile faded, and Touya sighed. He'd thought about her. Especially on nights when Hiroshi had thoroughly embarrassed him, or when Hiroshi got angry at him and punished him... Nights like that he sorely wished he could go running to his mother, and cry like a baby. Nights like that, he didn't care as much if it made Hiroshi think less of him. But he didn't ask, because obviously, Hiroshi wasn't in a good mood either on such nights.

Touya heard a knock at the door and his eyebrows knit together – he wasn't late, Hiroshi wouldn't have sent a messenger to rouse him yet. He opened the door to see one of his father's other servants. The servant-woman, one he knew, named Gitana, seemed distressed.

"Oi, Touya, your mother's fallen ill. She'd been sick for a short while, but it wasn't serious, at least we didn't think, so there was no need to alert you. But now, she's very ill and -,"

"My mother's ill? Take me to her." Touya's heart beat quickly in his chest, though his words came out in the calm, cool manner he'd been trained to live his life.

Gitana nodded, "Yes, but you must see Hiroshi first. He told me to tell you about your mother, and he said you could see her, but you have to go to him first!" Gitana was wringing her hands, looking at Touya morosely. He seemed so placid, so immaculate, but she'd lived with ice people long enough to know how to read them. She could see war raging behind his eyes, and such a heartbreaking distress. He was still just a young man, comparable to human 16 year olds, and his mother he hadn't seen since he was like a 13 year old.

"Then take me to him, but quickly." Gitana nodded again, walking as fast as she could without breaking out into a run.

Hiroshi looked sadly at Touya. He could see his son shaking before him. Anger at being kept from his ill mother, for not having been told right away, was clear in him. But deeper, fear of his mother's death was present. He had not seen her in so long.

"You know now your mother is very ill. It then falls to me to give you news of life changing application. It was originally my intent, that, when I deemed you old enough, you would go to train with the ice master in the depths of lower Makai. But, with your mother's failing health, I have had to come to a decision. It is clear to us now that this sudden striking malady cannot be kept at bay long. She has a few months, probably less." Touya's heart tugged and twisted viciously at these words. "For that time, I will allow you to stay by her side. After that, you shall train with me for only a year more, then you will have to go, whether you are ready or not."

Touya wondered indistinctly why he should leave only a year after his mother's passing, but that didn't matter now. Every moment was precious. "May I go to her now?"

Hiroshi sighed. "Yes, I sense the eagerness in your youki." Hiroshi had not finished his sentence before Touya was gone to his mother's bedside. Hiroshi shook his head. "He shall tread a very hard path. He must not falter."

Touya held his mother's hand delicately, as though she were made of glass. "Mother... do you still feel... hot?"

His mother looked at him weakly, sweating rivers. "Yes. Touya... Don't worry. Hiroshi will keep you safe, as long as he can. Your master..." She shook her head. There was nothing to be done about Touya's future master.

Reika stared deep in her son's eyes, using the bitter scraps of power she had left, to look ahead and find something to give him hope. She smiled softly, as her eyes glazed while she used her power. Touya watched helplessly, understanding what she was doing. He wished she wouldn't – she was only taxing herself.

"Yes... When you leave your master. You will be desolate a long while. But then... You will meet him. He will change your life. He'll confuse you half to death, but in the end... You may run from him, several times even, but in the end... you will always go back to him. You'll learn love with him... and he will care most deeply for you."

"Mother... I know love; I love you!"

"That's not what I mean, my dear. You love me, but not the way you shall love him." Reika reached up slowly with her other hand, and laid it to rest on Touya's cheek. "Be strong... You mustn't let the pain hold you so tightly..." Reika winced slightly, as she drew the pain from Touya, into her own emaciated body.

Touya sighed as his worries were lifted temporarily, but then looked at his mother in sorrow and gently pushed her hand from his cheek. "Mother... You mustn't... you bear enough pain without taking mine. You stupid woman!" Touya began crying and he pulled his mother up in a careful hug.

She felt so sick in his arms, thin, and desperately hot and sweaty. Her skin was ashen and pasty, her hair was matted, and her once shiny eyes were horridly dull. "Mother! What made you so sick!? What's so wrong?"

"I'm not sure. Homesick, for the koorime... and it's never cold enough here. But I'm so glad you're here. I wouldn't trade you for anything in this or any world." Reika held her son as firmly as her sickness would allow. Touya tried to give her his cool life, but she was so hot! Her touch nearly burned him, though he would never let go.

"Mother? Mother, wake up!"

"She won't wake again, Touya. I'm sorry." She said quietly, standing in the doorframe.

Touya squeezed his mother's hand in his – he hadn't let go for days, weeks. She was finally gone. He looked up at the woman in the door – it was Aiko Miyuki. She'd been keeping him company these last few days, as his mother deteriorated. Miyuki wasn't real. He knew that.

Touya looked back at his mother. Miyuki looked much like her, except with more light blue in her hair, and her eyes looked more like Touya's. "Mother... at least you went in sleep, I suppose... You must not be in pain any more." Tears flowed down Touya's cheeks.

Miyuki walked over and embraced him. "Hush, now dear. Your mother doesn't want that." Just because Miyuki wasn't real didn't make her less comforting. Touya sobbed on her shoulders, wishing his mother were still alive.

Hiroshi stepped into the room. "Touya. I'm afraid you must come now. I cannot allow you to dwell on this. And now the clock is ticking. We have one year, and then you must leave to begin your formal training with Ice. By then, you must master kendo, and you must have the basics of ice technique."

Touya nodded, wiping his eyes, and followed Hiroshi out of the room. On the way out, he picked up his katana. That morning Gitana had fetched him; he had never laid it down till he reached his mother's room.

"Touya! I understand you are upset over Reika's death, but you mustn't continue to let it interfere with your training! You have only five more months with me here, then you will meet your master, and he will not be nearly as easy on you as I am!" Hiroshi rapped Touya on the side of his head with the flat of his katana.

Touya shook himself roughly. "Gomen. I... Miyuki warned me..."

"Miyuki better have warned you to pay better attention!"

Touya nodded. "She told me not to dwell whilst training: to save it for the night."

Hiroshi sighed and crossed his arms. "Touya, when you meet your master, at the end of these five short months... Do not speak of Reika or me. Never refer to your past. Always think of the present and reach for the future. He will accept nothing less. And never bring up Miyuki, under any circumstances."

Touya nodded. "How come it is so pressing that I leave a year after my mother's death?"

"There are a few reasons Touya. I can't explain them all. Among them, several blood-bound contracts, destiny itself... and my death, too, is eminent. The day after you leave is the day I die."

"Father! You can't send me off knowing you'll die the next day! Can't I stay that one more-"

"NO! You cannot change your fate! You will do as you are TOLD!"

Touya silenced. It had been... decades since Hiroshi had spoken to him in such a tone.

Touya packed the few possessions he had, the few things Hiroshi had said his master would allow him. He packed a small amount of provisions, but mostly he would eat what he could catch or find. He sighed, closing the small bag and looking at Miyuki. "At least you don't need to eat. And I can take you with me."

Miyuki nodded, smiling sadly. "Don't worry. I'll be with you, and Gitana will meet us there."

Touya sighed again. "Why can't I go Gitana's way, if you would remind me?"

"She's a higher level than you, and, with some help, she can transport herself. And, getting there on your own is one of your master's tests. If you came Gitana's way, he'd scorn you."

"That wouldn't be easier?"

Miyuki scowled. "Hiroshi has told us several times now-"

"I can't change my destiny. Our destiny." Touya amended with a sigh.

"Hiroshi... Father. Sayonora."

Hiroshi sighed. "Keep the sentimentality to yourself when you meet you master."

Touya nodded and looked down at the ground, embarrassed. He felt a tear at one of his eyes.

Touya heard Hiroshi's footsteps coming towards him, and then, for the first time, Touya felt his father embrace him. "Make me proud, baka."

Hiroshi stepped away, looking carefully at his son. Touya nodded eagerly. "I'll do my best, Hiroshi-sama."

Hiroshi snickered. "How did my son become so silly? I hope you get some sense knocked into you on the journey, because your master will pound it into you otherwise."

Touya blushed. He had already made another mistake. "Gomen."

Hiroshi sighed. "Well, I am proud of you. If I don't tell you now, you'll probably end up unintentionally committing seppuku."

Touya wondered whether Hiroshi was complimenting him or insulting him again but... Hiroshi had said he was proud of him! "I should go then." Touya turned and nearly ran from the room before he could mess up again.

Hiroshi went back to his room, running his fingers through his straight black hair, to contemplate his blood-vow. If Touya succeeded, where no one yet had... it would all be worth it. But what would Moruguhause and his woman, Nitronata, do to Touya's psyche? He sighed, wishing there was more time. Touya was still too sensitive. Moruguhause had a way with toying with people till they cracked.

Hiroshi laughed. But then, Touya had already cracked, hadn't he?! Wasn't Miyuki proof of that?