Jaina-Elessar: Oh my gosh!! I have a reader!! sings your praises Thank you so much for reviewing this!! Okay, you've motivated me to give you the next section… But I warn you, I don't have very much of this pre-done. I think I have two more – no, three more chapters but they aren't very long. Yeah, Zekk couldn't take watching Jaina keep on ignoring him so… he left! Jaina'll be a bit of a wimp because she keeps trying to act like she's not in love with him, but, as you say, everybody knows! As for what happened the last time she saw him… I don't really know. And you'll have to wait for it 'cause I don't have it planned to come up for quite some time. Let's just say though, that he saved her life, kissed her gently and apologized for his feelings for her, and then walked off with a gorgeous blonde in his arms. Guilt Trip Time!!!
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And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks when it's beating
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming
So, I hold my breath – to forget
- "It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing" by Shania Twain
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For the first time, Jaina resented Sanar. Their conversation had torn down the
barriers she had in place to keep Zekk from her mind, and she felt abandoned.
The months following were hell. Jaina struggled to keep from sliding into
depression, but it was a losing fight and she knew it.
Jacen felt helpless as he watched her moods darken and communication between
them became strained. Tenel Ka's attempts to respect her privacy drove a wedge
between them that Jaina didn't know how to overcome. Kyp wouldn't have even
noticed it if Sanar hadn't turned down a date with him so she could shadow
Jaina when she went off on her own for a week. The weather on the planet seemed
to darken as Jaina took to running away from their base more and more, trying
to forget about Zekk and everything he made her feel. All the pain he had given
her.
One night, she snuck into her brother's room, wanting to be as close to him as
possible. Her heart froze when she found he wasn't in his room. Reaching out
with her bond, her heart fell to a new low when she registered that he was in
Tenel Ka's room and neither one of them was asleep. Her eyes blurred with tears
and a small holo picture on Jacen's desk made her
self-control snap as she fell to her knees, crying.
From the frame on the desk, Zekk's laughing eyes seemed to sadden a bit as they
looked at the pint sized girl that had stolen his heart.
The next morning was raining heavily with an occasional lightening bolt. Jaina
left the house at dawn and wasn't seen until well after sundown.
Jacen was waiting for her when she came in, her clothes and hair drenched.
"Where were you?" he demanded even before the door closed. "I've been worried
sick about you! I tried to contact you through the Force but-"
"But I blocked our bond," Jaina said wearily, pulling her Jedi robe off and
hanging it on a clothes tree. She wrung out her braid and plopped down on a
wooden bench to remove her shoes.
"Kyp tried searching for your signature," Jacen continued irately, as if she
hadn't spoken. "But he kept being blocked!"
"I asked Sanar to help me keep Kyp away; sounds like she did just fine." Jaina
sat her shoes side by side and stood up, a puddle of crystal clear water
already forming around her stocking-clad feet. A matching one was underneath
her cloak, and a third was around her sodden shoes. "Jacen?
I'm sorry, but I really, I mean I really needed to get away for a while. Is
there anything hot to drink around here?" Jaina started to head towards the
kitchen.
"Jaina—!" Jacen grabbed her arm, his chocolaty brown
eyes dark with worry. "Tell me, where did you go?!"
"Why do you even care Jacen, you have Tenel Ka." Jaina lifted her hazel eyes,
almost black with despair, to meet his.
The stinging slap echoed through the entryway, and Jaina's hand went to
her cheek where Jacen had hit her.
"You're my sister, and don't say stuff like that," Jacen said, shaking with all
the anger, worry and fear that he had felt that day, wondering if his only
sibling was still alive or not. "I've been worried sick about you today, and
having Tenel Ka didn't do anything to change it. What has gotten into you?
You're almost like you lost your heart or something."
"I did lose it." Jaina's voice was very quiet. "I gave it away, thinking it'd
be safe, but all he did was tear it out and walk off.
Please let me go."
Jacen released his hold on her arm, fighting the need he felt to protect her
from the galaxy. "Oh, Jaya…"
Jaina turned
and left for the kitchen.
Tenel Ka walked into the entryway, her grey eyes cloudy as Jacen looked
helplessly at her. "I don't know what to do. I've never seen Jay like this,
Tenel Ka. It… It worries me."
"Jacen," Tenel Ka said, brushing his brown hair away from his forehead with her
fingertips, "Things will work out, the will of the Force—"
"No, things won't work out!" Jacen jerked his head back, regretting it when
pain formed in her eyes but unable to help himself. "Don't you understand,
Tenel Ka? Jaya is almost the last family I have left in the galaxy! She's my
sister! I – I don't know how to help her! I'm supposed to protect her! Dad told
me that's what guys do for girls – brothers especially! But it's like she
doesn't care about anything!"
The hurt in Tenel Ka's eyes dissipated, and she wrapped her arms around Jacen.
"I think I understand, Jacen, but Jaina is responsible for her own actions. You
can not direct them for her, nor can you keep her from all harm."
"Well, then, what can I do?" Jacen's eyes were
desperate.
"Love her," Tenel Ka said quietly. "Love her and let her go."
Jacen tangled his hands in his fiancée's hair, lowering his head to her
shoulder as she laid her cheek against his chest. "Force help
me," he whispered brokenly, leaning on Tenel Ka's strength, needing a rock to
help him in the storm.
Outside the house, a bolt of angry lightening lit up the sky as far as the eye
could see.
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Kyp and Sanar were seated in the kitchen, a single cup sitting between them. Kyp
had one hand covering Sanar's, and her head was bowed. Jaina paused on the
threshold. "Can I enter?" she asked, her mood gentling a bit as she saw the
weariness written on their faces.
"Sure," Sanar said without moving. "The cup is yours and there's fresh stim tea brewing on the stove unit. I knew you'd need it."
"Thank you." Jaina used the Force to pull the cup towards her as she walked
over to the pot that sat, bubbling, on a burner. Pouring herself a cupful of
the heated liquid, Jaina sighed. The room was silent except for the sound of
the rain hitting and skittering down the windows. Thunder and lightning raged
outside, illuminating the kitchen, the noise making Jaina flinch and spill some
of the boiling stim tea on the floor. Sanar got up
wordlessly, grabbed a towel and began cleaning it up. Jaina put the pot back on
the stove and leaned on the counter, her eyes upset as she looked at the scene
outside, and gingerly took a sip of the drink. She burned her tongue and
blocked out the pain and the world, trying desperately to keep her anger under
control. She was lauded for her self-control, but right now she would rather go
Sith than deal with things.
"Jaina?" Kyp asked, trying to keep from angering her.
"Jaina, where did—"
"Don't talk to me!" Jaina suddenly gasped out, her hands slamming down onto the
counter, the hot liquid sloshing over the edge of her mug and hitting the
counter. Sanar thumped the heel of her hand into her forehead as she stood
again and began to clean the mess up. "Don't!" Jaina snapped at Sanar when she
tried to move Jaina's hands.
Sanar's eyes glossed over with hurt that she quickly shuffled aside, pushing to
the forefront the hardened exterior that she hadn't used in years. "Solo, chill
and let me work. I'm not doing it just for you."
Jaina blushed a bit then backed into a wall, sliding down it so she was seated,
and letting her face drop into her hands. The storm continued raging in its
constant battle against the offensive planet that had committed no greater
crime then simply existing.
"Kyp?" Jaina spoke softly, but Kyp was instantly
alert.
"Yes, Jaina?" he asked, cautious over what she would say.
"I need to get out." Jaina's voice was set. Dead.
Empty.
Kyp glanced at the girl he would marry but she shrugged; she didn't know what
was up either. "You just were out," he said, even more cautiously.
"No." Jaina looked up, her eyes like twin black holes in her head. "I mean I
need to leave. I have to get off of this planet. Away from
the Jedi. Out."
Kyp was speechless; but then so was Sanar, he found when he glanced over at
her. "Jaina," he said haltingly, unsure of what to say.
"Kyp, I can't do it. I don't care. I'm leaving." Jaina's eyes never blinked.
They just stared.
Kyp swallowed hard and Sanar cocked her head back, shaking one of her long
bangs behind her ear.
"Well," Sanar started, clearing her throat. "Well, where would you go?"
"Somewhere," Jaina murmured.
"Ah, real specific. Nice try Solo; if we're letting
you out of here on your own, you have to give us a comm
number and a planet name or you'll never leave here alive." Sanar flipped the
towel over her shoulder and then folded her arms over her chest defiantly.
Jaina's lips curved in a ghost of a smile. "Somewhere," she repeated.
Sanar's mocha eyes narrowed, then took on that dangerous gleam that promised
pain. "Find your heart," she demanded.
Jaina's face wrinkled momentarily. "Excuse me?"
"Hunt down Zekk; I dare ya," Sanar taunted.
Jaina's face bled free of all color. "I can't."
"Scared?" Sanar's eyes widened. "A Solo backing down from a bet… now this is
unheard of!"
"It's not a bet," Jaina shot back, showing signs of life. "It was a dare, and a
Solo never risks their life unless it involves money."
"Or pride," Kyp whispered, his eyes sliding almost shut as he watched the
showdown.
"I'm making it a bet," Sanar said with a flare. "Five credits says you can't hunt down Zekk and get him to marry you by
your twenty-first birthday."
"What if he's dead?" Jaina asked, her eyes sparking with emotion.
"Then you lose and have to pay up." Sanar smirked; she had a feeling that if
Zekk were dead, Jaina would've felt it and killed herself. He was alive.
Jaina looked at her friend disbelievingly. "You're kidding. And if he's
married??"
Sanar waved a hand. "Put a price on her head and then I'll kill her and you can
marry him."
"Sanar!" Jaina was shocked.
"Do you accept? Or are you a coward?" Sanar was cold as ice.
Still, Jaina shook her head. "Not for five credits I won't."
"Ten credits?" Sanar asked, cheekily. Jaina just looked at her, her face
lapsing into emptiness again.
Sanar glanced at Kyp and he gave her a little smile, sending her encouragement
through their bond. Sanar smirked again, then turned
back to Jaina.
"How about ten credits and a ship?"
Jaina's eyes widened. "A ship?"
"You get the ship before you leave. If you fail you have to give it up; if you
succeed, you get to keep it." Sanar dipped her head a bit. "So, are we on?"
Jaina looked down at the floor between her feet, not fully believing that she
was having this conversation. Silence stretched as they waited for Jaina to
make up her mind. Kyp was the most relaxed; having not had much to do with the
conversation, he was fairly confident that he could escape any pain if Jaina
blew up. Sanar was anxious, hoping that Jaina wouldn't go ballistic and start
crying or anything stupid like that. Jaina was frantically trying to think; a
refusal leapt to her lips. Zekk didn't love her anymore, and she didn't want to
come off as a stalker or anything. But her longing for Zekk beat the immediate
'no' from her tongue, and her head and heart argued
over the decision.
Jaina looked back up at Sanar, a glimmer of hope in her eyes. "You're on."
