Title shamelessly stolen from the movie with the coolest tango ever. But it's got nothing to do with tango, so sorry.
Oh. And this is for Bikutoria.
Scent of a Woman
By Rurouni Star
Kouga regarded the small red tie, wound about his wrist, with a strange intensity. His hand closed on it even as he inhaled its scent deeply.
There was a choice to be made, quite clearly. But it troubled him to no end.
Both Ginta and Hakkoku had reassured him they would take over the tribe in his absence. The rest had agreed that there would be no problem in the switch of power. He wasn't necessary for the survival of the wolves. He'd already helped kill Naraku. It was time to reap a hero's reward.
But…
He had a responsibility. He couldn't give it up, couldn't leave everything and everyone he'd ever cared about behind forever… could he?
The faint smell of jasmine and wet grass teased at his nose, as clear as though she were just in front of him.
Oh yes. Yes he could.
But would he?
He let his forehead fall to his palm, tried to imagine the world of the future. He had no idea what it would be like… what kind of people would be there, what state were demons in, could he ever give in to what Kagome called a 'normal' life…
No more Kouga, prince of wolves. No more power over those in his domain, no more mountain and waterfall and whispering trees…
"You… you could come with me, you know…"
Her hesitant eyes had seemed doubtful of the idea, as though she knew he couldn't possibly do it. It was a sincere offer, but a frightened one; a wistful gesture she didn't expect him to take her up on.
If she knew he was seriously considering it…
Kouga felt his frown deepen even more, leaning back to rest against the cave wall. The familiar scent of wolves permeated the air here and the sound of clear running water echoed reassuringly in his ears. There had been spring days, diving into the lake below, hunting for game, racing the others…
How could she have done this to him? How could she have even given him the decision, the offer, the possibility? He might have simply seen her off, let her go, and remembered her bitterly the rest of his days. He could have.
No, he sighed to himself. He couldn't have. He would have begged her to the end to stay with him, would have given up every bit of pride he had, offered her every thing in his power to give and some not in his power. It would have left him broken to have no decision of his own.
The red necktie strained against his hand, a delicate, badly tied piece of cloth, tied about a wound that had long since healed.
It teased him with the promise of her. The possibility, however slim, that she would love him for giving himself up.
Rising to his feet, feeling the cold, firm stone beneath his feet, Kouga made his decision. It really wasn't all that hard after all.
Because it was Kagome.
------
The tie was red; it was red, it was red, and it was him come to see her off.
Kagome felt herself almost break at the thought. Her eyes barely held back tears – her lip trembled dangerously at his muted expression, the vivid blueness of his eyes somehow dimmed at her departure.
"Kagome," he said quietly, the only one left to watch her go, who hadn't yet given her a tearful goodbye. "You forgot this with me."
He pulled the tie from his hand, was strangely gentle with it. She noticed the awful gouge was gone – his hand was strong and smooth again. But then, she'd never really given it to him for the wound. It had always been about something else, about leaving some part of her behind with him, of always knowing there was someone thinking about her…
Kagome trembled as he put it in her hand, his skin warm on hers. He'd carried her before, hugged her before, even stolen a kiss from her before, but it was so much different to feel him for the last time.
She fumbled with the tie, and it slipped from her fingertips. He caught it again, still staring at her seriously.
Kagome felt the last of her barriers dissolve helplessly at the expression. "You…" She sniffled, felt the tears begin. "You can keep it, Kouga-kun."
Her knees threatened to go out as she was forced to turn away. But that only made her have to look at the well, and that was worse.
When his hand touched her shoulder, his arm moved about her waist to steady her, she felt herself lose every sense of delusion she'd had before, the thoughts of this as simply another short vacation home, that she might see him again…
He caught her as she fell, cradled her against him, held her tightly and felt as though he'd never let her go again.
She buried her face in his chest, memorizing his feel, every muscle, every part of him. The soft furs that brushed her cheek, the comforting, unique smell of him. It made her want to cry – and in point of fact, she did.
"Shh…" he whispered into her ear. She was painfully aware that it was the last time she would hear his voice.
"I'm coming with you, Kagome…" he told her. "So please, don't cry…"
He pressed the red tie into her hand again, and this time she clutched weakly at it.
She couldn't find the strength to look up at him, to ask him why, or how. Her weakness only grew with the realization.
"No," she whispered. "You can't… you… you can't leave everyone, you can't leave… this. Here. Now."
"No," he said, and she could hear the strength in his voice, the finality of someone having thought and thought and come over and over to the same conclusion. "I can," he told her. He paused, and she felt with a strange certainty that the decision had matured him where nothing else had ever managed to. "What I can't do is never see you again," he said quietly, with an intensity that surprised her. "I love you, Kagome. And no matter how many times I've told you, I think this is the only way you'll ever believe me."
The idea was staggering to her. Every other time she had heard the words from him, she'd had to remind herself that he was merely posturing, that he didn't know what they meant, that he didn't really care all that much…
But there had been times she's so doubted herself. Times when he was gentle, considerate, warm. Times she almost wished she could tell him she would stay with him forever.
"But Kouga… you just can't…" she said again, but only weakly, feeling a great selfish happiness well up within her at the thought of him being with her, of him going to school with her, having ice cream and studying with her…
He slipped his fingers between hers, though, and the thoughts disappeared with an awful sinking feeling. Kouga had always given up everything for her. And now, she would be asking him to give up himself – everything he ever had been and everything he'd ever thought to be.
Kagome tightened her hand on his and felt a strange soaring sensation in her throat. "You'd never be able to come back," she told him one last time. "I have to seal the well from one side or the other, you know that-"
He cut her off with his lips on hers, stifling her protests. It was only a quick pressure, but it stunned her into silence.
Kouga pulled back and eyed her grimly. "I don't care."
The Shikon no Tama against her chest beat with her heart, wild and hard.
"Okay," she whispered. "Okay."
He had to help her to the well, had to support her while she shook and cried and thought of all the people she would never see again…
And when the jewel flashed and the air whirled about her…
The floor came upon them quickly, and there was a sinking, bending sensation as the jewel around her neck disappeared forever.
But when Kouga landed, there was no falling, no darkness, and most of all, no passing of time.
"I think I love you too," she told him, though her voice was unsteady. "But you're not the only one that can give things up."
And though he'd once thought it impossible, Kouga loved her even more for it.
