Warning!!! Read:This is my first attempt at writing a fanfic for Sailor Moon. This takes place somewhere around Sailor Moon S when you know, Darien starts drifting away from Serena (in the dubbed cartoon network series)and not really showing her he loves her. Am I the only one who's noticed? I mean in Sailor Moon R he's always hugging Serena and protecting her but in sailor moon S he starts changing and kind of hidding his feelings for her. He's usually like oh what the hell. And the same goes for the sailor scouts. Before they would always scream out serena's name if she got hurt or even a simple push. But now they acted like they don't care. Which is really sad. ANYWAYS I DON'T WANT TO KEEP ON YAPPING SO THE SUMMARY: In this fanfic Serena can't stand Darien's indifference toward her anymore(sorry if your offeneded by this part) she's sick of always having to go after him and be the one who says sorry for everything first. Always having to be the one to get them back together. And always being left by Darien and the scouts. Serena breaks up with him, but later finds out why he's been acting so strange...However this doesn't happen until years later. DISCLAIMER: I DON"T OWN SM blah blah blah blah blah. Don't sue me blah blah blah. I wish i owned SM. No really it'd be kool. okay whateber u know the rest of the disclaimer. And to any of you who want to sue all I have to give is an old chewed up piece of gum , however... I'm willing to share. I am soooooooooo wierd, and freaky, and did you know I scare people sometimes (not really , that's my friend s job, but don't tell anyone. She has a big attitude and when someone says something she doesn't like her eyes could kill j/k) Genre: Romance with some foul language. Romance doesn't really start until the next chapter.
Love Hurts Prolouge: A Forgotten Memory.
Serena lay on her bed, daydreaming of Darien. He was smart, handsome.He had everything going for him and he was everything she wasn't- her complete opposite. He always seemed distant from her. All she could think of was him and he despised her. He didn't want to be around her. He was acting worse than the second time they had met, when she was 14. But she had been so immature at that time and it was understandable. Rei had also been in love with him, but as soon as she found out she was the moon princess and he was the prince from earth she never went after him again. She didn't mean to sound ungrateful or anything she was happy the scouts respected her relationship with Darien and everything. But ever since then they kind of felt a certain obligation towards her. She hated that the scouts were with her because they felt obligated to protect her...and not because they cared about her or wanted to be with her. Several tears managed to pry there way down her face as she thought of how much Darien and the scouts had changed towards her. Rini opened the door to Serena's door she had been knocking but Serena was so deep in thought that she hadn't even heard Rini open the door.More and more tears found their way down her eyes. She felt another presence in the room and turned around to face the person wiping her tears away simultaneously.
" Why the hell are you crying? Did you fail another test, stupid meatball head." Rini blurted out without considering how much her words might have hurt Serena. Serena hadn't even failed a test in months. She was doing great in school and was an A B student, occasionaly a C. But she wasn't hurt by that insult. What hurt was the reminder that Darien, and Rei used to call her that-meatball head, but just a few months ago they just stopped calling her 'meatball head' without a reason. She really didn't understand. And by Rini's harsh words' she just couldn't hold her tears anymore. But she wouldn't give Rini the pleasure of seeing her cry.
"Get the fuck out of my room now! you stupid piece of shit" Serena screamed at Rini at the top of her lungs. It was so unlike Serena to use foul language she had never used it and never thought she would. If Amy, Luna, or even Artemis heard her she would get the lecture of her life.
"Get out, please" Serena broke down on the floor she just couldn't contain herself anymore. She felt like every thing was building up inside of her all of her anger, loneliness, and desire for the love of her friends , family and most of all Darien, What had she done wrong? why did everyone hate her? Rini looked at Serena in fright. Serena had never acted this way. All she had asked was why she was crying, and if she had gotten a bad grade. The scouts and Darien always joked around with her. What did I do. What's wrong with Sere? Rini walked toward her slowly extending her hand to Serena who was sitting on the floor with her long golden her covering her tear-streaked face. Serena simply looked up showing Rini her anguish and pain
"GET OUT HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU!" Rini quickly walked away from her she didn't dare cry now. Besides Serena's parents weren't home to protect her and punish Serena. Now I won't tell her Darien's back. Besides Darien told me not to tell her. I was just going to tell her to be nice, but now I WON'T. That's what she gets for being so mean thought Rini as she entered her room. Now they slept in different rooms because of all the fighting that had been going on between the two the past few weeks. Serena seemed stressed out and in a state of depression. So her parents had decided it was better for everyone if the two were separated. Serena rolled over and over in her bed. Why was everyone so mean to her? What had she done to deserve this treatment? The last time she had called one of he friends they had ignored her saying they were busy and could't talk at the moment. She could understand if it had happened once or even twice but it hadn't it was the same thing over and over everytime she called. She really didn't understand what the fuck their problem was. Being left out always made her feel bad, depressed. Serena remembered the first time she had first met Darien. She smiled he was so cute. How was it that one person could change so much in few years.
FLASHBACKA young boy sat on his bed. Tears ran down his cheeks fiercly. making small wet stains on his plain blue pajamas. You could tell by looking at him that he was living in an inferno. The sleepless nights were evident from the bluish-black circles that ran under his eyes making him look much older than he really was. He wasn't crying for the reason other children his age cry for , but for something more serious that would probably never stop haunting him until he died. The doctors said his state of depression would soon be over, that he would get over it, but how could they expect it to be over soon. Didn't they have any brains to understand that all they where doing tormented him over and over. They made him try recalling his past over and over. Didn't they understand it pained him not to remember his family , who he was, why he was here, and so many other things children his age didn't have to worry about. Why didn't they care about what he wanted? They always blamed him for not remembering.
"You're not trying hard enough, baka' 'You're parents are gone get it through your head lots of people go through it move on' Darien replayed these harsh words in his head. Anger flared through his body. What did they care, they didn't even understand him? It didn't happen to everyone in the world because if it did then everyone would be used to it by now. This whole process was really hard for him. He didn't have any relatives, or friends to take him in. And even though his parents had been incredibly rich it didn't mean he was safe to live his life in peace and comfort. No, it was far from that, now they were going to send him to an orphanage. There was no one to take care of him so he had to go to an orphanage until he turned eighteen. What use did he have for the millions and millons of dollars his parents had left him if he couldn't even use it yet. He didn't care about the money though. Why couldn't he just hire a servant to take care of him 24/7? Everyopne always made things impossible.
'There is always a solution to every problem Darien remembered someone had once said that to him, but who? Why couldn't he remeber. He wanted to remember what it felt like to have a family. To love and feel loved. All of the other young boys at the hospital all had moms who cared about them. who were there for them when something was wrong or they needed support. But he, he had no one, absolutly no one. No one to scare away the nightmares he had, no one to hug him when he felt ill, no one to care what HE felt. All everyone else cared about was ME ME ME. He often passed a few rooms where children his age were, and most often saw what he desired with all his heart: mothers hugging and caring for their children. Something he would most definetly never experience again. whenever they had bad dreams the mothers were there to hug and comfort, When they felt ill the mothers were there to make them feel better. Now when it came to him there never was anyone to help him through his tough time, no one to hug him, no one to comfort him, no one to give him a kiss, no one to care for him, and even more disappointing no one to love him. He had no family. He could turn to no one. All he had was himself . He had to live with all his nighmares and fears. He just couldn't remember anything. Not even his name, in fact he wasn't even sure his real name was Darien he'd just unconsiciously blurted it out when the nurses had asked what his name was. It was a name that had just come to his mind, out of thin air. Darien touched his head as he felt it throb and let out a sob. The pain started coming again. Tears rolled down his eyes as he felt the pain intensify. his vision became a blur as the tears rolled down his face. And everthing faded into blackness. Present Serena smiled as she started to remember how she had first met him , he had been so kind and different, too different. Somehow Darien had been changed during his time at the orphanage. It must have been all the hardships he had gone through- having no one to look out for him. Still she didn't know how he changed himself so quickly. He always did hide his true emotions from everyone, even her. still she smiled remembering back then when he hadn't hidden himself from her, back when he thought of her as someone important in his life someone he cared about:
FLASHBACK A five year old Serena entered the room as she saw a boy older than her sob uncontollably. Something was seriously wrong for him too be crying so much. He looked so sad and tormented by his thoughts. As she walked in she hesitated a little. She wasn't sure if the boy was nice or if he was mean or if he even wanted her company. Still she dared to go in as she slowlyu walked in she realized that darien had looked up at her and had stopped crying she smiled warmly at him trying to reassure him that she wanted to be his friend. Darien looked away not wanting any company, he just wanted to be left alone with his sorrow and not be pitied by the other children because he didn't have a family like them. Serena looked at him as her eyes sank in disappointment.
" Hi..." she heard herself say in a cherrful tone.
" What's your name?" Darien turned around to stare at her she didn't sound at all stuck up or stupid like the other kids and so far her voice showed no hint of pity. Well maybe she didn't know he didn't have any parents. Serena heard no reply from him so proceeded to talk maybe he was just to shy to say anything she tought.
" My name's Serena" Serena started walking closer to him carefully as if trying not to scare him away. She stared into his deep blue eyes as if they held an answer to all her questions.
" My name's darien" Serena jumped a little at finally hearing him speak she had been thinking that maybe he was deaf, and she had been drowning in his eyes that she hadn't expected any sound from him, she had gone into her own little world, that is until he spoke. "Oh, so you can talk I was begining to think you couldn't " Darien smiled sadly. Serena noticed this ,
" Why are you so sad"
" Is it that obvious?" asked darien Serena just nodded she felt a strange aura around him.
" It's just ..." tears started to well up in his eyes as he spoke " I don't have a mom or dad to help me feel better, and I don't remember anything and, and ..." Serena got up on the bed and started hugging darien while whispering into his ear" Everything's going to turn out okay you'll see" by now Darien was sobbing as hard as he had when he had been alone. He felt so good to have Serena as his friend, to have his angel with him. Finally Darien calmed down and Serena let go of him.
" I have to go my daddy's probably already waiting for me, he'll be mad if I stay any longer" Serena gave Darien a quick kiss on the cheek and left.
"Bye" she waved at him looking back without watching where she was going when she suddenly bumped into the wall.
" OWWWWWW!!!" Darien laughed quietly trying to contain himself but couldn't and soon Serena was laughing along with him. " He went to help her up. " thanks" Darien stopped laughing and looked at her seriously
"No serena I want to thank you, you've been so nice to me and cheered me up"Serena smiled " gotta go, see ya"
"Bye" Darien waved enthusasticly. He touched his cheek remembering serena's kiss it'd felt so nice to have a friend . "My Angel" he whispered to himself blushing a little
PRESENT Serena hadn't heard from Darien in over a month. She made an effort to keep in touch with him but he didn't seem to care about her unless it was scout business. Serena knew or at least she thought that the only reason that Darien was with her was because they had been in love about a century ago. She was slowly begining to realize that it just wasn't working out between them that sooner or later they would just break up, it was just plain and simple. It seemed these days she just felt tired of struggling through all their hardships she was always the one who had to get them back together after a tradegy or the one to put all of the effort into keeping them together maybe it is time to move on.... After all Darien obviously didn't care about maintaining their relationship so why should she. Serena got up with a new determination in her face. She had finally finished all of her homework. Just as she was about to walk out she felt her sight go blurry and darkness engulfed her. Her head felt hazy and she couldn't think straight. a few hours later Serena awoke finding herself on the floor in the middle of her room. It had had happened again, . One minute she was fine and the next she felt dazed, overwhelmed with a terrible feeling and before she could sit down everything would suddenly turn dark making her eyelids heavy bringing her down at that moment without a second to think about what was going on. This wasn't the first time It had happened to her. These had hardly happened to her in the past but these last few weeks were the worst she didn't know what was happening to her or what was causing this to happen to her... But it had recently turned into a frequent occurence. Something she was getting use to...and that scared her. Serena slowly got up feeling weak and sore. Every time this happened to her she could never seem to remember what had happened throughout that time she'd blacked-out. Luna walked in, her face filled with visible anger. What'd I do now Serena rolled her eyes ready to hear another lecture from Luna. no one understood all of what she was going through, therefore she couldn't tell anyone about her true self her true feelings or what was happening to her.
" Serena where have you been the scouts and I have been worried I came as fast as I could, we've been trying to contact you through the communicator but you never answered, is anything wrong?"
" Ummm....I probably took a little nap hehe" Serena looked at her feet lately she couldn't look anyone in the eye either she was always afraid of seening the hate and anger in their eyes towards her.
"SERENA WHEN ARE YOU FINALLY GOING TO GROW UP, WHEN!!!!! WE'RE ALL SICK AND TIRED OF YOU . EVEN DARIEN CAN'T STAND YOU ANYMORE!!!AREN'T YOU EVER GOING TO GROW UP, YOUR 16 FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!!!!!!" Serena stood shocked how could Luna say that to her. it's my fault i've got to grow up like luna said she probably didn't mean it I mean I'm so stupid, ugly and look at myself I mean who could ever think of being friends with me, I should at least try to do what they tell me.
"I'll try Luna, I really will, pleaze believe me" luna looked at Serena's determined face and at the small frown , her eyes were dull and dark . Luna nodded regretting saying all of the horrible things to her. " Serena I didn't mean about us being tired of you...." luna trailed off. " It's okay anyways it's all...true"
Serena walked out. " I'm gonna head out for a walk...I guess I'll see you later" Serena plastered a fake smile on her face that totally clashed with what her eyes were saying. She headed out of the room, down the stairs and out the door
" Mom I'll be back later I'm going for a walk" she heard herself murmur to her mother in the kitchen "I might not be back for dinner though" Quickly Serena slipped out before her mother could say another word, but mostly before she would break down. She'd been holding all of her feelings in there or at least what she possibly could but now that no one was watching her she huried to the park burying her head in her hands. She ran to the park, her sanctuary the only place she felt at peace. She bumped into someone or something but she wasn't sure of what it was . She knew it was rude but right now all she could hear were Luna's ,harsh words. The worst part was Serena felt they were true. Within a few minutes Serena was at the park crying her heart out. Slowly the sun had set and she hadn't even noticed. The darkness was all around her, and for the first time she felt uncomfortable in the park. Fear started edging it's way to her. She hadn't realized how dark it was until now. Even as she felt her fear creep up she stayed put. This time she wouldn't run she'd made up her mind...She was gonna get away from all those she had hurt so many times...her friends. She didn't want to hurt them or Darien so she was going to go somewhere far far away were she couldn't affect them negatively. They were always there to protect her now it was her turn to protect them- from herself. Her father would be hard to convince but maybe her mother would understand her situation, besides her father said he had to go 'there' because of work or something maybe he would be happy if she came along.... Kenji paced the floor, while his wife sat on the couch looking and playing with her nails.
"Where could usagi have gone it's nearly 12!" "She said something about going for a walk maybe she meet some friends. Calm down honey. She'll be fine" Ikuko tried calming her husband down. Suddenly the door opened and in walked usagi with her head down. It had become one of her bad habits to look at her feet whenever she was around anyone. She just felt so inferior than anyione else. She felt ugly, fat , and unwanted-no one seemed to love her anymore.
"USAGI WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ikuko was becoming hysterical. Serena barely managed to lift her head to look at her parents and quickly brought it down again." I went for a walk, I needed to sort some things out" Both of her parents faces turned from scowls to concern.
"Why what's wrong, serena?" her dad asked. "I'm not ready to talk about it, I will be though soon, really soon, okay, just please don't pressure me, I'm still not sure" her parents nodded not sure what was going on with their only daughter, but they knew better than pressuring her into things. Usagi walked to her room dragging her feet.
"Serena, are you alright?" asked Sammy as he came out of the bathroom
"I'm fine, just tired,I guess" Serena walked past him Usagi heard her alarm clock go off. It was the first time she had woken up by the alarm clock and not by her mom. even though the sun was up and it was a beautiful day. Serena felt the exact opposite the birds in her window no longer sang beautiful tunes like they used to when Darien use to be with her. Now everything was different.I'll talk to them tonight they'll understand. She got out of the shower and got dressed heading down to the kitchen.
"Goodmorning...ahhhhhhhhh!!!" ikuko jumped as she saw Usagi walk in" oh...sorry usagi you scared me you never come down this early. I thought you were still sleeping" Usagi felt a hot tear fall from her eye but quickly hide it from her mom. Why can't anyone believe I've changed
"sorry..."
"Usagi, where do you think your going?"
"Out" Sorry mom but there's a few things I have to do Usagi went throughout the whole day without a thing to eat. With all her problems she didn't have an appetite. She walked to all the places she wanted to say bye to. the rose park, the mall, the arcade, her school, Raye's temple, where she'd found Luna. So many memories. but that's all they were , once she left Japan she'd never think about it again, never.
"Usagi" A tall figure with dark hair called from across the street.
After calling out to Usagi he finally called louder almost screaming with exasperation. "USAKO!!!" Finally Usagi turned around to the sound of her name. She was so engrossed with her memories of the past and the places she had been so use to seeing, she hadn't realized somebody was calling out her name, she saw everything from a different perspective. Everything seemed like it had happened ages ago. She had to talk to her parents she just couldn't take it anymore. As She saw the other figure walk torwards her she stopped .
"Hi Mamo-chan". Did you just get back from America!!!" She attempted to hide her and sadness behind a mask. She attempted to pretend that nothing in the world was wrong...and she succeeded because Mamouru did not know her enough to be able to see through it.
" No I came like a week ago or so"
"Oh, you must have been really busy since I didn't hear from you or anything" asked Usagi in an indifferent voice despite the taste of acid that was rising in her throat as she fought to keep the cry deep down. Usagi kept herself from crying out at the injustice of love as her heart slowly broke, shattered, crumbled to pieces.
"Well sorry Usako, but I've been too busy to stop by"
" Yeah, well, I'm sorry your too busy. so I won't take up any more of your time. I'll see you around" her voice cracked as she slowly walked away as if nothing had happened.
"No, Usako wait I didn't mean it that way. Wait!" Mamoru grabbed Usagi's wrist and held onto it trying to pull her closer to him. Usagi's face was stained with a few tears that had managed to escape from her eyes.
"I understood perfectly well what you said. I'm not stupid Mamoru-san , I'm not who you think I am and if you or the scouts ever really got to know me then you would also know my good qualities and not just the bad ones. But since all of you never seem to find the time for stupid Usagi you wouldn't know. So I think it's time to end things and get them over with, Mamoru. I'm sick and I'm tired."
"Usa" Mamoru felt taken back by Usagi's powerful words. She'd never ever called him Mamoru-san at least not anymore, and SHE was breaking up with him. he couldn't live without her, he'd die, he loved her with all his heart and soul, He couldn't stand to loose her again like he did in the past.
" Usa...Please listen to me, Please!"His voice husky from holding back the tears. Mamoru never cried, not since his parents death, but this was too much for him. A tear rolled down his firm face as his dark blue eyes became stormy.
"Don't ever, EVER call me that again. I never want to see you again. I hate you. I hate you and I hate 'them. You' ve all caused me so much pain. I HATE YOU!!!"
"No, NO...Usako I love you, I never wanted to hurt you, when have we hurt you. Usa please don't leave. Your sailormoon. We need you to help us. We need you" Darien was already kneeling on the hard cold cement floor holding onto Usagi's hands kissing them as his eyes begged her for understanding. One by one the tears hit the floor. There was no sound of his crying but the tears fell.
"For what? to fight off the bad guys. that's all you ever needed me for. You know it's true. What was it you said? Love is like a rose it blooms but like all other things it also dies. You were right. Don't come near me again. And tell Luna to go live with one of the scouts. I don't need her anymore. I don't need any of you. Stay out of my life. after all it won't be that hard. i'm just in the way, a nuisance to all of you"
"Usa don't go" Usagi left Mamoru there she hated him and the scouts so much. here she was trying to protect them and all they ever wanted was for her to leave them be... well then she would they wouldn't have to bother with her again. Ever Mamoru still stood on the cement murmuring his love for Usagi.
"Usa...I love you...I need you...I need you." A chant that went on deaf ears for Usagi had already left. This was just the prolouge I know I know It was really boring but it was just the introduction, you know to introduce the story.
Anyways Serena is sick and tired of everyone always ganging up on her insulting her and making her feel worthless and a danger to them all so she finally decides to move to - you'll have to find out in the next one IT"LL GET BETTER I PROMISE.SERIOUSLY IT WILL