Disclaimers: Still belongs to CLAMP.
Until When Chapter FiveThe youngest Imonoyama turned around once again. "Then tell me, Suoh. Can you protect me from loving you?"
He knew better than to say what he just had. He knew he should never have reacted that way when Suoh told them about his engagement. But he could no longer contain his feelings.
He had just lost his sister – the only person who made him feel that he was just eighteen, a child still. And now…
Now…
I'm about to lose my best friend and the one person I had loved with all my heart.
The look in Suoh's eyes told him everything. The blank stare, those unbelieving eyes, that shocked face. Nokoru closed his eyes and turned his heel.
"There are still some things you can't protect me from, Suoh. My heart is one of them."
And with that, he ran.
He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to react. He didn't even know if he heard the president right.
Kaichou loves me?
No. He knew he heard the president loud and clear.
As loud and clear as Nokoru's fading footsteps.
Half of him wanted to stay rooted in the ground and believe that Nokoru was just joking and that the blonde couldn't possibly fall in love with him. After all, they were both males.
But half of him wanted to reach out and grab Nokoru. Just grab him and envelop him in his arms and tell him that…
Suoh blinked. Tell him what?
Tell him that he was honored that Nokoru loved someone like him but his feelings would remain unreciprocated because he loved someone else?
No. That would be too cruel of him considering Nokoru had just lost his sister. No. He didn't want to hurt the blonde. Not now. Not ever.
But was there a way to reject Nokoru and not hurt him?
It was about an hour after both Nokoru and Suoh left the restaurant when Akira saw the blonde enter the room the three of them shared in the villa. Nokoru was silent, not even bothering to acknowledge the chef's presence. Not a word was spoken even as the president started packing.
Akira sighed inwardly. Truth be told, he wanted to stand from his bed where he was seated and just hold Nokoru close to him and make his best friend release all those trapped tears. But from the way the blonde was moving, he knew that Nokoru wanted to be left alone. But there was something else.
Nokoru was running away.
"Akira."
The treasurer blinked. "Hai?"
"I'm going."
Akira just watched as Nokoru turned his heel and left. After hearing the front door close, he plopped down on his bed and closed his eyes.
Nokoru was really running away from everything.
He let the sigh escape from his lips this time.
Both of them knew that there was no use running. He couldn't run away forever. One day, he would have to face the fact that Suoh would get married. But a part of him understood just how Nokoru felt.
To lose someone important to you just recently and then to realize that you would lose the love of your life in the same month would be too much even for someone like Kaichou.
If only the ninja was a little more sensitive to Nokoru's feelings then maybe the scenes that happened earlier would never have played. If only Suoh would realize just how much Nokoru needed him – not physically, but emotionally. If only…
Akira slammed his fists on the bed in frustration.
He felt so useless, not being able to ease the pain in Nokoru's heart. He felt useless, not being able to at least intercede a little. He felt utterly useless and he hated it.
He wished Utako were here. If she were here, she would be able to advise him on what to do. If she were here, she would listen to him and his worries. If she were here, maybe she would know what to do…
… Or not considering Nagisa-san is her best friend. Argh! Now I can't even turn to my girlfriend for advice!
Suddenly, he heard the door of the room open. He opened his eyes and saw Suoh step inside, eyes confused. Akira sat up but did nothing to acknowledge his presence.
The ninja scanned the room. "Where's Kaichou?"
"He went home," he answered plainly, not really wanting to talk to Suoh at the moment.
Golden eyes flashed with mixed emotions – concern, anger, and frustration.
"What? You let him go home ALONE? Did you check if he was secured enough? What if something happened to him? What if someone plotted to kill him or kidnap him or…"
But Suoh didn't get to finish his sentence as Akira's fist connected with his jaw.
There was anger swelling up in his chest but that emotion was overcome by surprise. Akira never lifted a finger even when he was angry or frustrated or even when Utako was kidnapped. But there he was now, his lip bleeding because of Akira's fist that was now shaking.
"DO YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT HIS SAFETY? DID YOU NOT THINK FOR ONE BLOODY MOMENT THAT I WOULD BE CONCERNED ENOUGH TO ASSURE THAT HE WAS SAFE? AND DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BE CONCERNED WITH NOT HURTING KAICHOU MORE RATHER THAN CONCERNING YOURSELF WITH HIS PHYSICAL SECURITY, HUH TAKAMURA?"
He knew he shouldn't have done that. He knew deep in his heart that he shouldn't have hit his sempai but he just couldn't stay quiet anymore. He was too frustrated, too exasperated. It was just too much.
Suoh didn't know how to react after Akira's outburst. He didn't know how to counter those accusations and defend himself because he knew that his junior was right. Of course Akira would make sure that Nokoru was safe. Of course Akira was also concerned about Nokoru's well being. Akira was also Nokoru's best friend after all.
Suoh bit his lip. Akira's also right that I should be more concerned with not emotionally hurting Kaichou more rather than being concerned about Kaichou's safety.
"Kaichou may be a bit clumsy at times, but he can defend himself," came Akira's shaky voice – shaking but quite calmer than before. "You taught him some tricks didn't you?"
Suoh nodded. Yes. There was a time that Nokoru persisted that he teach him some moves in order to defend himself if ever needed. The ninja was hesitant at first, saying he will never leave the blonde's side and all he had to do was shout his name. But Nokoru was always the persistent one.
"He feels so alone now, sempai," Akira said, sitting on his bed once more. "The reason why we came here is to help him recuperate. And helping him recuperate means we have to make him feel that he's not alone."
"He isn't."
Akira's exasperation was back. "That's not what he feels! Not with you engaged to Nagisa-san!"
"But I'm not going to leave his side."
"Eventually you will."
"A Takamura never leaves his One's side," Suoh countered.
Akira tried hard to stay calm. "But who is your One, sempai?"
"Imonoyama Nokoru," he answered clearly.
"What does it mean that Kaichou is your one? What does it mean that someone is your one?"
Suoh blinked. Why is he asking me this all of a sudden?
"You know the answer to your question, Ijyuin."
Akira looked straight into Suoh's eyes, determination burning within those gray depths. "I want to hear it from you, sempai."
Knowing that the person in front of him was just as stubborn as Nokoru, he decided to just answer the question.
"My one is more than someone I protect. My one is someone I can give my life for. My one is someone I am willing to give my whole being to."
Akira almost smirked. Bingo. That was the one I was waiting to hear you say.
The chef stood from his bed and walked towards the door. But before turning the knob, he stopped and glanced back at his confused-looking sempai.
"Your whole being? Then that includes your heart?"
The ninja nodded.
"But where is your heart, Takamura-sempai?"
He saw the secretary's eyes widen at his last question. Akira didn't wait for him to answer for he knew he wouldn't get one now. He opened the door and left. After all the tension that had built up in him, he needed some fresh air.
And Suoh needed time alone to think.
Tsuzuku…
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