Hey! A new story from BEWILDERMENT, only this is much cleaner. I love everyone, please review. This is from Lily's point of view. She's going into her sixth year, and this is her diary. So read!

Dear Diary,

Today was long, as most first days are. I saw Morgan and Rhapsody again today; it's good to have such nice friends. They came right up to me, and asked how my summer had been. I didn't go into anything at all—not about how horrible my summer was; not about how I barely got any sleep, owing to the sounds of my parents fighting; not about how Voldemort attacked the Muggles next door; not about how James Potter had shown up on my doorstep, looking like a lost little boy; and especially not about how the best kiss I've ever gotten left me so depressed.

The best thing, definitely, about coming back to school, was the food. At home, I was lucky if I could persuade Petunia to give me some of her frozen pizza. But tonight, I gorged on any food that was to my liking—pumpkin cider, scones covered in blackberry current jam, kidney pie. But this, of course, wasn't unexpected. The topic of Dumbledore's speech was.

He looked at us closely, as if trying to memorize our faces, before he started. Once he had, he began a little hesitantly. This in and of itself was eerie enough, but the way he looked at James and me when he said "The conflict in the world will divide everyone. It's your decision whether to change your feelings toward someone you used to hate...and it could be the decision between your life and death." I swear, when he said that, chills ran up and down my spine. Then I had to put up with James's eyes on me throughout dinner.

This almost ruined my appetite. Almost.

Like it wasn't enough that he was there to witness the horror of my life at home this summer. He, pomposity himself, actually thought that he could make my family whole again. As if he didn't help divide it with his presence! I avoided him as much as I could, but he did manage to trap me once or twice, and...

Oh I have to go, Rhapsody wants me to help her with her Potions essay. Ha! Potions, is, of course, my forte. Or at least I wish it was.

Love,

Lily

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Dear Diary,

I cannot believe James Potter! He actually tried to speak to me today, obviously thinking that those moments this summer never even happened.

Well, James Potter spent the summer at my house. He showed up there one night and never left until it was time to leave for Hogwarts. His reason: his parents were in some sort of Wizards' Protection Agency, and he needed to be someplace where no one would even think of finding him. So he chose my house, and suddenly he was all buddy buddy with me, and believe you me, it sucked.

He even cornered me sometimes, and tried to talk. He even tried to kiss me, and only once did he come remotely near to getting his lips on mine. He trapped me in his guest-room walk-in closet, after asking me if I possibly would know where the glue-gun was. The GLUE-GUN! I mean, come on. But like a fool, I fell for it. I was on my hands and knees, digging through boxes of crap, when I pair of hands hoisted me up and backed me against the wall. I would have been freaked out if it had been anyone but James, but I mean, how much harm could that toad do to me? I was wrong.

With my back against the wall, his lips all of a sudden touched mine—and all of a sudden, I just responded. So there we were, snogging in this dusty old closet when his hands begin to wander. Well, my fist just happened to find its way to his jaw; the kiss was broken almost immediately. Works every time.

This was around August 20th or so...I haven't spoken to him since.

Love,

Lily

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Dear Diary,

Today in Herbology, James made me laugh so hard. I was SO ashamed to be laughing, but I really couldn't help it. Even if it was caused by a guy who cannot wrench his head out from up his butt.

But it really was quite funny; the whole class was laughing. Usually it's Sirius who does this type of thing, but James totally took the joke. You see, the professor (Prof. Redango) was giving us a lesson on twinklebate, which is an herb causing the voice to become much higher for about twenty minutes or so. Once it slides down the throat, the drinker's voice is instantly changed. It does have an effect on the stomach, but no one ever mentions that. So anyway, Prof. Redango has this beloved pooch that follows him around all the time. James, who is rather good with making his voice sound high and squeaky, made it look like the dog had swallowed some twinklebate. With the help of Sirius (who poked the dog to make it look like it was barking), James had the entire class in an uproar. For what it's worth, I could forget about this summer during class today. Even if James was interested in me, he's not going to have time to come close to talking to me or anyone else, because he has detention for the next month. I think it's because Prof. Redango didn't like running to the antidotes' cabinet and was close to administering the remedy to the puppy.

I'm in the common room right now, far away from the fire and next to a frosty windowpane. James' just grinned at me, summoning all his charm into one facial expression. He's sitting next to the other "Marauders", who are huddled about a dirty little parchment. I wonder what they're up to.

That just brought up a memory. You see, this summer, James used to smile at me quite a bit. I would always just glare. He smiled at me one day last year—the day before Christmas—when we were both standing under the mistletoe. You got it: I got smooched like his lips were two clamps. I have got to say, this summer he has really improved his techniques. His lips were soft and gentle. He's really a nice boy, I must have lead him on or something.

Holy Smokes! Get a HOLD of yourself, woman! JAMES POTTER IS A HORRIBLE BOY. Okay, I'm cured.

Love,

Lily

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Dear Diary,

I was just talking to Rhapsody. She really is a very funny person, and I didn't realize how much I missed her. Plus, her name is really cool. I've never asked her what her parents were like to give her such a cool name.

She's also really beautiful. I mean that in a purely non-sexual way. But I mean, this red-hair is so...plain. I feel like some hick next to her with her sleek dark hair and her dancing eyes. My chest is bigger than hers though. I mean, I really need to have some consolation.

We were talking about her and her crush on Henry DiFabrico. Henry could be a male model; he's just got that dreaminess about him that makes him so irresistible. I used to have a crush on him myself, way back in fourth year. But nothing ever came of it. Most of my other crushes have been so much more fruitful.

Speaking of crushes, I think that Drew Katass (he'll beat you up if you make fun of his last name) likes me. I've never talked to him so much as I did in the past two weeks. He has a crazy personality which matches his appearance. He's just all over the place, and he is absolutely overwhelming. I'm a different person around him; I'll do wild stuff and everything will just be a party. Somehow everything is a party with him.

Haha. Once, there was this Slytherin that fancied himself very much. He went up to Drew and taunted him, though the taunts were pretty lame. It was weird seeing this big, rocklike Slytherin say slowly, "You ARE a cat's ass! And your face is like the a cat butt!" I mean, come on, is he in his first year? Anyway, that Slytherin had to go to the hospital wing, holding his front teeth in his hand.

Love,

Lily.

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A/N: hope you liked this chapter! Others will hopefully be longer...they will for sure if you review! Please do. They are the only things that keep me writing.

Bewilderment...so aptly named