Until When

Chapter Seven

It was raining.

It was yet again highly unusual since it was still a month before the rainy season would start. And yet, the rain was pouring in buckets.

Nokoru didn't like it when it rained. It usually dampened his spirits and it made him feel gloomy.

Not that it wasn't gloomy enough inside the council room for the past few weeks.

He sighed. What was the weather-control station [1] doing?

The blonde swiveled his chair to face his desk and the papers that were stacked around him, all of them signed and reviewed completely. He looked around the room, eyes softening as it settled on Akira's back.

Ever since that day, the council room had been silent, a strained and uncomfortable air surrounding them. Akira was just quiet in his desk, not even uttering a word about tea or cakes. Suoh wasn't in his usual place beside him, constantly telling him to finish signing the papers.

But then again, he didn't expect things to go back the way they were. Not after what had happened.

He knew that this would happen the moment he told Suoh his real feelings. He knew it long before it even happened, that's why he never told the ninja what he felt. He didn't want this to happen that's why he kept his feelings to himself, no matter how hurt he has been.

But that night, he just couldn't take it anymore. He just couldn't extend his hand and smile. He just couldn't congratulate him and offer to be his best man as if he never had any feelings for Suoh. No. He just couldn't.

He buried his face in his hands. And now, even Akira had to pay for his lack of self-control.

He wanted everything to back the way it was before. He didn't care if his heart was being slashed a thousand times per second every moment Suoh and Nagisa were together. As long as Akira's smile was there, as long as Suoh was there beside him – he would be alright.

But he couldn't find the courage to look into those golden eyes. Nokoru knew that the moment he comes in contact with them, tears would just flow from his eyes once again. For in those golden depths, he could see that there was no place for him in Suoh's heart except that place reserved for his One – that being him. Suoh only saw him as his One and nothing more.

And the truth hurt.

Too lost in his own reverie, the president didn't even notice his secretary enter the room.

"Takamura-sempai! You're dripping wet!" came Akira's worried voice, pulling the president out of his reverie.

"Suoh…" the name just spilled out of Nokoru's lips when he saw his ninja's drenched form.

"The rain was unexpected and I didn't bring an umbrella," Suoh explained.

Nokoru didn't know when he stood from his seat. His body was moving in its own accord, his legs leading him towards the secretary's direction.

Akira shook his head. "I'm going to get a…" he paused, eyes widening when he saw Nokoru. "Kaichou?"

Golden eyes were wide in shock, too. "Kaichou?"

Without a word, the blonde led the ninja to the council's bathroom. There, Nokoru slowly unbuttoned Suoh's school jacket, wiping the boy's body in the process.

"Suoh, I told you that you shouldn't be out in a rain."

Fragments of memories flashed before Suoh's mind, each one of Nokoru looking at him with concern – the way he was looking at him now.

Nokoru was falling from the second floor of the Gamera Hall. Suoh rushed to break it, spraining his ankle in the process.

"Suoh! Daijoubu desu ka?" [2]

"You're going to catch a cold."

The president was fussing over him but he didn't mind. There was warmth in every touch – the warmth he had been missing.

But he felt guilty.

He knew he did not deserve the warmth Nokoru was giving him.

"Kaichou," Akira's head popped inside. "Your company's secretary called about a meeting you need to attend."

"Oh yes. I forgot about that." Nokoru suddenly stopped his ministrations and handed the towel to the chef. "I'm sorry, Akira. Please take care of Suoh for me. I have to go. Thank you."

And with that, he disappeared from their sight.

It was a while before either of them spoke or moved.

"You should take a bath," Akira finally said, handing the towel to Suoh.

But the blue-haired lad just stood there, confused and frustrated.

"Ijyuin, why does he still care about me? Wasn't I the one who caused him pain all these years? Wasn't I the cause of his heartbreaks? How can he still care about me?"

The brunette shook his head. Was his sempai really this dense?

"He loves you, sempai. And because of that, he will do anything for you even if it pains him. Yes. Even if the pain kills him. As long as you're happy, he can take whatever stab in the heart his silent love for you has to offer. That's how much he loves you."

Suoh sank on the covered toilet seat, covering his face with his hands.

"But I don't deserve it, Ijyuin!"

"He doesn't care."

"But I do! I care! I don't want him hurt anymore than he already is! I don't want to cause him more heartbreaks! I don't want those fake smiles! I want my sun back, Ijyuin! I want that warmth again…"

Akira didn't exactly know how to react to Suoh's breakdown. After all, the ninja had never been that open towards his emotions especially to him. Suoh always projected a man in control over everything. He was always calm and never made rash decisions.

But now, the Suoh in front of him was nowhere near the one he knew.

"Takamura-sempai, who is Imonoyama Nokoru to you? Tell me the truth."

Suoh put his hands down and leveled his gaze with Akira's. Who was Imonoyama Nokoru to him?

"He's my…"

He wanted to answer that Nokoru was his one, but somehow, that didn't seem the case right now. Nokoru was more than his one. Nokoru was more than that.

"Why do you want your sun back, sempai? Why do you want that warmth back? Isn't Nagisa-san your sun?"

He buried his face on his hands once more, unable to answer Akira. He was confused – his feelings in a state of entropy.

"I don't know…"

He didn't know. There were feelings that were surfacing; feelings he didn't know he had for the blonde president. Feelings that he never knew he buried.

"I don't know…"

Akira closed his eyes and turned around.

"Take a bath before you catch a cold," he said before closing the door, leaning against it.

He sighed. You do, sempai. I just hope it won't be too late when you recognize it.

Tsuzuku…

--------

[1] Remember episode 24 wherein Idomu wanted to become part of the Tanteidan?

[2] This is from episode 8, wherein Kirasagi Hikaru makes her appearance.

Next Chapter Preview: Suoh's still confused. But until when will he deny the feelings he had kept for so long a time? Will Akira be able to help those two hearts find they way home? Stay tuned for the next installment that will feature more characters!

Disclaimers: CLAMP Gakuen Tanteidan still doesn't belong to me.