Artie watched Worcestershire shrinking away on the horizon as the boat kept on sailing. He smiled as he was out of that place while Madison stood beside him including Shrek.
"Glad to be out of that place?" she asked him.
"Yeah. I can't believe it… me a King? I…I mean I knew I came from royalty and all, but I just figured everyone forgot about me."
"Oh no, in fact, the King asked for you personally." said Shrek
"Really?" Artie questioned and then he smiled, "Wow. Look, I know it's not all gonna be fun and games."
"It really is all fun and games, actually." said Shrek but Madison looked at him with a seriously look on her face, "Sure, you have to knight a few heroes, launch a ship or two. By the way, make sure you hit the boat just right with the bottle."
"Boat with the bottle? Any idiot can hit a boat with a bottle."
"Well, I've heard it's harder than it looks." Shrek sheepishly chuckled.
"Whoa. This is gonna be huge. Parties, princesses, castles… princesses."
"Artie... I don't think being a king is all..."
"It's gonna be great, Artie." Donkey spoke as he cut off Madison from talking, "You'll be living in the lap of luxury. They got the finest chefs around waiting for you to place your order."
"And fortunately, you'll have the royal food tasters." said Puss as he jumps up onto the railing next to Artie.
"Oh yeah? What do they do?" Artie asked as he was intrigued.
"They taste the food before the King eats, to make sure it's not poisoned." said Puss.
"Poison?" Artie looked concern.
Shrek and Madison looked at each other as they sense trouble and the two immediately steps in.
"Or too salty." said Shrek.
"Or buttery." said Madison as she looked at Artie while Shrek looked at his friends, telling them to shut up.
"Don't worry about it. You'll be safe and sound with the help of your bodyguards."
"Bodyguards?"
"Shut up! Shut up!" Madison whispered to him but he along with Puss didn't hear her.
"All of them, willing at a moment's notice to lay down their own lives out of devotion to you." said Puss.
"Really?" Artie questioned.
"Si, and the whole kingdom will look to you for wisdom and guidance."
Madison and Shrek tried to keep them quiet, but Donkey and Puss kept talking to the boy.
"Just make sure they don't die of famine."
"Or plague."
"Oh, plague is bad."
"The coughing, the groaning, the festering sores."
Shrek interrupts with a mock laugh as he and Madison stood in front of Artie.
"Festering sores. Hey, you are one funny kitty cat." said Shrek as he and Madison glared at them.
"What did I say?" Puss questioned in confusion.
"What did you say? You two were talking negative about being a king." said Madison.
"We don't want Artie here getting the wrong idea." said Shrek but as he turned, the boy was behind him, "Uh, Artie?"
"Where did he go?" Madison asked.
Suddenly, the boat pitched to the right, causing Shrek to hold on to the rail and Madison held onto to his ankle while Puss and Donkey tumble away. Madison looked around until he saw Artie at the steering wheel. He swings the wheel around, sending the boat back in the direction of his school. Shrek quickly got up and head towards him.
"Artie!" he spoke as he pushed him away from steering wheel, "What are you doing?"
He steers the wheel and makes the boat turned to a different direction.
"What does it look like?"
Artie jams the board stick in the boat's wheel causing the boat to lurch for Shrek to fall. The boy swings the boat back in the other direction and the ogre rises up and grabbed the wheel to turn it.
"This really isn't up to you." said Shrek.
"But I don't know anything about being King!"
"You'll learn on the job."
Madison was holding onto the post as much as her hands could hold on. She looked up to see Shrek and Artie fighting over the wheel. As much the boat kept going sideways, she doesn't how long she's gonna hold. She never been seasick before but she's about to be.
"Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm going back!" Artie yelled.
"Back to what? Being a loser?"
"Shrek!" Madison exclaimed.
With those words escaped from the ogre's lips, Shrek knows he's gone too far. Stung at how the young boy felt, Artie lets go of the wheel, leaving Shrek to yank hard on it as he pulled the steering column from the decking. Madison watched the two argue until she heard Donkey yelling.
"Shrek!"
The group looked up to see large, pointed rocks coming closer.
"We're gonna crash!" Madison exclaimed.
Shrek desperately sets the wheel back down and tries to steer the ship clear of the rocks. But it was too late.
CRASH!
The ship crashed to the rocks, causing the boat to sink.
"Land ho!" the captain shouted.
The group slowly made to the surface on a small beach. Shrek was holding onto Donkey and Madison while Puss was shivering, holding on to the ogre's bald head. As he put his friends down, Madison was dumping water out of her boots while Puss shakes himself vigorously until his fur puffs up.
"How humiliating..." Puss spoke with his head in shame.
"I hate... getting wet." said Madison as she squeezed the water out of her hair.
Shrek finally caught his breath but looked up to see Artie as he was about to walk away.
"Oh, nice going, Your Highness."
"Oh, so now it's "Your highness?" What happened to "loser?" Huh?" the boy argued.
"Guys, please don't argue. This..." Madison tried to stop them but the two kept on going.
"Hey, if you think this is getting you out of anything, well it isn't." Shrek pointed at the boy, "We're heading back to Far Far Away one way or another, and you're gonna be a father."
"What?" Artie raised his eyebrow in confusion.
"Um... Shrek" Madison whispered to him as she stood with Donkey and Puss.
"You just said father…," said Donkey.
"You're… I said king. You're gonna be King." Shrek corrected.
"You're gonna be King." Artie imitated, "Yeah right."
Shrek and Madison watched him marched off, but the ogre was getting irritated.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"Far Far Away… from you."
"You get back here young man and I mean it."
Artie ignored him as he kept on walking away, heading to a path in the woods.
"Uh boss..." Puss spoke as he and Donkey looked at him, "I don't think he's coming back and maybe it's for the best. He is not exactly king material."
"When were you planning on telling him that you were really supposed to be King?" Donkey questioned.
"Oh c'mon, now why would I do that? Besides, he'll be ten times better at it than me." said Shrek.
"Which is the only option." said Madison.
The two starts walking to follow the boy, but Donkey stopped them as he stood in front of them but mostly looking at Shrek.
"Hey, woah ho ho, Shrek. Then you're gonna have to change your tactics if you want to get anywhere with this kid."
Shrek sigh as he looked at the path from the distance and looked at him.
"You're right, Donkey." he said and then he picked up a piece of driftwood, "What about this?"
"Shrek!" Madison and Donkey shouted, and Shrek chuckled.
"Oh c'mon. It's just a joke." he said as threw the log, "Still..."
The three: Madison, Donkey, and Puss looked at each other as they shook their heads from that joke of Shrek's and quickly caught up with him as they found Artie walking.
He was trying to get away from them as he was walking fast but Shrek caught up with him.
"Listen Artie…" he spoke as he followed the boy, "If you think this whole mad scene ain't dope, I feel you dude. I mean, I'm not trying to get up in your grill or raise your roof or whatever, but what I am screaming is, yo, check out this kazing thazing bazaby."
Madison, Donkey, and Puss glance at each other as they walked and looked back at Shrek. Madison just cringed at that so called talk that Shrek was doing to Artie. The boy kept on walking, trying to ignore the ogre until he notices a cottage from the distance.
"I mean, if it doesn't groove or what I'm saying ain't straight trippin', just say, oh no you didn't, you know, you're gettin' on my last nerve. And then I'll know it's… then I'll know it's whack-"
Shrek continued to follow until Artie nonchalantly releases a branch from a tree and stricked Shrek square in the face and took off running.
"Somebody help! I've been kidnapped by a monster who's trying to relate to me!" Artie shouted as he was close to the cottage.
"Artie wait!" Shrek shouted after he pulled the branch off from the tree.
The gang ran to the cottage as they watched Artie banging on the door, calling for help, until a burst of light shoots through a candle box that is hung on the door. They all stopped and saw a bright, colorful image of an old man's head was projected out.
"Greetings cosmic children of the universe, and welcome to my serenity circle!" the head spoke, "Please leave any bad vibes outside the healing vortex. And now prepare …"
Suddenly, the head image disappeared. Everything was in silent until all five saw the door creaked open. They saw a man that looked like the image, only his beard was longer.
"I knew I should have gotten that warranty." the man spoke as he smashes the security device with his little fist until he got promptly zapped in the head.
"Mr. Merlin?" Artie spoke as he looked at the old man.
"You know this guy?" Shrek questioned him.
"Yeah. He was the school's magic teacher until he had his nervous breakdown."
"Uh, technically I was merely a victim of a level three fatigue, and at the request of my therapist and the school authorities, I have retired to the tranquility of nature to discover my divine purpose." said Merlin and he smacks a fly that has landed on his head.
Shrek, Artie, and Madison stared at him in astonishment.
"Now, can I interest anyone in a snack or beverage?"
"Uh, no." Shrek answered.
"Sure, you don't wanna try my famous rock au-gratin?" Merlin asked as he brought out a baking dish full of rocks.
He took a bite and chews loudly. Madison cringed on seeing the rocks destroy his teeth and can see his gums bleeding. Shrek and Artie felt uncomfortable with her on seeing that.
"It's organic."
"No, thanks. I'm good." said Madison as she tries not to be rude.
"Yeah. I just ate a boulder on the way in. What we need are directions back to Far Far Away." said Shrek.
"What's with the "we"? Who said I was going with you?" Artie spoke as he looked at him.
"Oh, I did. Cause there's a lot of people counting on you so don't try and weasel out of it."
"If it's such a great job, why don't you do it?"
"Understand this kid, it's no more Mr. Nice Guy from here on out." said Shrek.
"Guys, please..." Madison tries to speak up but the two kept on arguing.
"Oh, so that was your Mr. Nice Guy?" Artie bickered.
"I know, and I'm gonna miss him."
"You know what? Why don't you go terrorize a village and leave me alone?"
"Oh, is that some kind of crack about ogres? You get your royal highness to Far Far Away before I kick it there." said Shrek and turn to Merlin, "Now which way am I kicking?"
"Oh, I could tell you. But since you're in the midst of self- destructive rage spiral it would be karmic-ly irresponsible." Merlin answered.
"Self-destructive ra… Look, are you gonna help us or not?" Shrek asked.
"Most definitely, but only after you take the journey to your soul."
"Journey to his soul?" Madison asked.
"Yeah, I don't think so." said Shrek.
"Look pal, it's either that or some primal scream therapy."
Merlin started to scream until Shrek stopped him as he grabbed the wizard's mouth.
"Alright, alright… journey to the soul."
Later that night, the gang along with Artie were gathered around the campfire until Merlin appeared and stood beside Shrek.
"Now all of you, look into the "Fire of Truth" and tell me what you see!" he said.
He threw dirt into the fire and let out a wild war cry as the flames burst.
"Ooh! Charades!" Donkey spoke in excitement as he and Puss sat down, "Okay, I see a Dutch fudge torte with cinnamon swirls."
Madison looked at the flames and try to see something, but she didn't see any images.
"Okay. Monster, go for it." said Merlin.
Madison looked at Shrek as he glances at the fire. He looked at the flames and saw something that cause fear in his eyes. He blows the image away as he tries to cover his fear.
"I... I see a rainbow pony." Shrek lied as he was like changing the subject.
"Excellent work." the wizard smiled.
Madison knew what he just saw as she remembered this scene. It was a baby stroller; he was still scared of being a father.
"Now, the boy." said Merlin.
"This is lame." Artie muttered until Merlin whacked him on the back of his head.
"You're lame. Now just go for it." he said as he tosses more dirt in the fire.
Artie sighs and then looks at the fire as he saw new images.
"Okay. There's a baby bird and a father bird sitting in a nest."
"Yes. Stay with it. Stay with it." said Merlin as he was beating a drum.
"Wait, the dad just flew away. Why did he leave the little bird all alone?" said Artie as his expression changed.
Shrek, Madison and the others watched as they saw Artie getting worked up.
"It's trying to fly, but it doesn't know how to. It.. it's gonna fall!"
There was now silence as Merlin stops beating his drum. Artie looked at everyone with stunned expressions as the images disappeared.
"Whew, proper head case you are, aren't you?" Merlin broke the silence, "Really messed up. Whoa."
Madison, Shrek and their friends watched Merlin walked away, heading back to his house, and then looked back at Artie.
"Yeah, yeah, okay. I get it. The bird's me. My dad left. So what?" Artie spoke as he looked away from them.
Shrek sat down on the log, but Donkey gives him a nudge to go over and talk to Artie. The ogre tries to hesitate, but Donkey insists. Shrek slowly scoots over as he got near the boy, trying to find the right words for him to speak.
"Look Artie…um-"
Just as Shrek was about to get going, a melody starts playing loudly from behind. They all turn toward the shack where Merlin peeks out.
"Just thought I might help set the mood! You know for your big heart to heart chat!" the wizard spoke loudly over the music.
Everyone stares at him, even Madison was shaking her head. Merlin sheepishly turns off the device from his security system and shuts his door. It was now quiet again, but Shrek decided to speak up to Artie.
"I know what it's like to not feel ready for something." he said, and Artie looked at him, "Even ogres get scared…you know, once in a while."
"I know you want me to be king, but I can't. I'm not cut out for it, and I never will be, alright?" said Artie, "Even my own dad knew I wasn't worth the trouble. He dumped me at that school the first chance he got and I never heard from him again."
"My dad wasn't really the fatherly type either." said Shrek.
"Well, I doubt he was worse than mine."
"Oh yeah? My father was an ogre. He tried to eat me." he said, and Artie looked at him, "Now, I guess I should have seen it coming. He used to give me a bath in barbecue sauce and put me to bed with an apple in my mouth."
The boy chuckled, "Okay… I guess that's… pretty bad."
"You know, it may be hard to believe what with my obvious charm and good looks, but people used to think that I was a monster. And for a long time, I believed them." said Shrek, "But after a while, you learn to ignore the names that people call you and you just trust who you are."
Artie gently pokes at the embers with a stick for a moment and then looked at Shrek.
"You know, you're okay, Shrek." he said as he tosses the stick into the fire, "You just need to do a little less yelling and use a little more soap."
"Thanks Artie."
"The soap's because you stink. Really bad."
"Yeah. I got that."
Madison smiled at the sweet moment. Seeing the two getting along. It somehow Shrek was starting to warm up on being a father soon since Artie was here, but he looks at the boy seeing that something's trouble with him. She started to think that maybe somehow, she'll have a chat with him.
To Be Continued...