Genki: New chappie... ::yawns::
Lloyd: You should go to bed.
Genki: No. . . I've got to finish making my life into your story. . .
Lloyd: ::hmph:: Whatever.
Genki: It's Christmas vacation now, leave me alone. Lloyd: In a half an hour, it'll be Christmas Eve Midnight. o.o;
Genki: . . . so?
Lloyd: Nevermind.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything somebody else owns.

This Piece of Fabric

But it didn't take me long
To notice something was wrong.
Something's loose here.
Where did I lose stitches?

The next few days followed like slow clouds.

Lloyd, feeling desperate for a way to relieve his feelings, wrote entries in a small journal.

Saturday.

Zelos kept his distance, held closer to Sheena while showing off. I was a bit down. My heart burns when seeing them together. I didn't feel like eating. Genis asked if something was wrong, but I shook my head no and left to myself.

Sunday.

Again, Zelos kept his distance. Is he avoiding me? I feel even deeper with sorrow, and I barely ate much but a small lunch and a few bites of dinner. Raine starting nagging with Genis. I'd wish they'd leave me alone.

Monday.

Zelos and Sheena left for most of the day. Gah! I can't imagine what they may have been doing. Now Regal and Presea have joined in as well, but I snapped and yelled at them to leave me alone.

Tuesday.

Yeah, I've got a big hunch Zelos is avoiding me.

And almost everyone but Zelos seems concerned for me.

This is the first day since Friday that I haven't bursted into tears.

Wednesday.

We finally stopped at an inn, so we were all forced together. Zelos seemed so close to Sheena, but I forgot about the pain when we threw food at the new pals at the inn. It was quite funny.

But late in the night, I bawled like a schoolgirl again. ::sigh::

Thursday.

Yup, I got confirmation. From Raine herself, Zelos is avoiding me. He's afraid of me. Why? I thought he. . .

"Hm, well, it's quite ironic. You're crying while I'm grinning, 'cause I've got the boy I want crying in my lap."

That's what he said. So. . . why?

He told me once he liked to manipulate minds.

No. . . he wouldn't have. . .

Maybe he did the same to me.

Friday.

We found another inn, but I avoided our group most of the time, because I couldn't stand seeing Zelos and Sheena together. I hung out with some other people I had met. They weren't the same kind of company, but it was good enough.

Goddess, I don't want to love Zelos! It's not fair! I had to go and ruin everything. . .

As usual.

Saturday. . .

Still at the inn, rain fell relentlessly outside. The twin swordsman tapped on the window to kill his boredom. But it wasn't working anyway. He thought he was alone, until the door opened and locked behind him. Lloyd turned to see Zelos. But Zelos wasn't wearing his carefree grin. He was wearing an angry frown.

"What is your problem?" he demanded. "Don't you have anything better to do other than mope around?"

"I'm not moping around! I'm just--"

"Not eating. Crying at night. Don't think you can hide it." He held up a shaky finger. "You act like you're the only one who can get depressed!" He slipped in a few cuss words. "Well, I hate it! I told you I hate depressed people, so knock it off!"

Stunned by this sudden outburst, Lloyd turned his head away.

"See?!"

"Zelos. . ."

"And I'm going to get all the blame again! I'm so damned tired of it!"

"No. . . it's not your fault. It's all mine. I fell in love."

"Look. I didn't mean for you to fall in love with me. You seemed a bit down from the trip, so I thought I'd help cheer you up. I don't love you more than a friend and I can't return your feelings. I'm sorry. That just sucks. Believe it or not, I love Sheena like she does me! So don't cut into our relationship, got it?"

"Yeah, yeah. . . I didn't want to--"

"You did. You wanted me. You didn't want Sheena with me."

"Well. . . I mean, I couldn't help that. But, why? Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"Why? I didn't want you to be upset! But, oh well, you did anyway!" His arms were crossed to keep them from flailing. "Oh, and another thing. I'm straight. I avoided you because I was afraid of you."

"Afraid? . . ."

"Yes. I was afraid. The thought of another guy scares me. I was raped when I was five."

Lloyd's heart sunk more. Raped? . . .

"So, I'm afraid of queers. I can't stand the thought of another guy liking me. That's why I've always been a lady's man all these years. Because I don't want a guy."

It was definitely confirmed in Lloyd's mind that he hadn't wanted to fall in love with Zelos.

"But, look! You stand right before me!"

"Zelos. . . I'm not gay--"

"You love me?"

"Yea--"

"Then you are."

"By a. . . technical standard."

"Well, that's about all I had. Oh, yeah, and stop being such a drama queen." With that, he left, closing the door behind him rather loudly.

Lloyd slumped against the wall, countless thoughts running through his head.

Sheena. . .

Afraid. . .

Rape. . .

He had lost his virginity. . . at five. . .

It hit him like a bomb. Why, why?! He knows all this now, and he could've swerved around this corner. But now. . . he had to fight off feelings.

I can see it now!
The fabric's tearing.
Right where I put those dazzling colors.
They weren't strong enough, and they snapped.
All I can do now is pick up my needle
And sew everything back together
With the threads I used before.
But can I sew everything back together now?
Hopefully. . .

A/N: Bah, shorter chapter. e.e;

About the fabric metaphor. I don't remember how I came up with the idea, but I've been obsessing over it lately. o.o;

But, how will Lloyd fight off his feelings? Find out in the next chapter!