Forgive and Forget Chapter 8: PJ's Point of View 4, a blue heelers fanfic

Forgive and Forget 8/?

Disclaimer: Like everything else, I don't own a thing! The only thing I own is debt…and a lot of it too! So if you don't want debt I just suggest you imagine I own them for the time it takes you to read this fic, that way we don't all get caught up in the legal mumbo jumbo. Blue Heelers and the characters that currently appear or have appeared in the show belong to the respective owners. So does the wonderful lyrics of "Angel' a.k.a. "Arms of the Angel" belong to Sarah McLachlan. As does Evanescene's "My Immortal". Unlike the owners I have no talent to create such beautiful words, characters and lyrics. I thank the owners for letting me borrow them for a short while

Dedication: Apparently there were some people who "liked" it. Don't understand

As always, I'm still not sure how any one can like this fic. Maybe you are having trouble sleeping and instead of going on expensive pills you read this and fall into a deep slumber. I don't blame you!

Title: Forgive and Forget 8/?

PJ's Point of View 4

"Jo…"

"JOOO"

"JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Please don't tell me that it was a dream. I don't want to know. I cannot be any more heartbroken then I already am.

I roll over and turn to face her side of the bed. My eyes scan every inch of the sheets that don the mattress, and as every stitch of fabric I see, my heart shatters piece by piece. Tears well up in my eyes, but do not cascade down my cheeks in the off chance that she may have briefly entered the room.

Seconds tick over. Than come the minutes, and still there is no sight of my angel sent from above. My eyes are fixated on the door. Just waiting for evidence that it was all just a dream. That the bomb that exploded at the Mt Thomas Police Station was just a figment of my imagination. That the flames that followed the explosion didn't wipe away everything, including the one thing that matter the most. My soul mate, my angel, my all, my everything.

Now I cannot stop the tears from flowing. It seems like an eternity since I last held her. Since I last took in her sweet smell. Since I saw that bright beautiful smile. Since I kissed those sweet lips. How I would give anything to have her back. I really ruined everything. And not just a little bit. I have ruined everyone's lives including my own. How I wish she were here lying beside me. How I wish she were lying in my arms. How I wish she were here making everything perfect again. After all Jo symbolises perfection. How I wait for her to join me again.

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

My eyes are so glazed over in tears, that I am unable to see the door anymore. I blink away the tears quickly. My eyes then again resume their fixation on the door, without blinking, just in case in that moment of darkness she happens to walk in.

(Intro music of My Immortal by Evanescene)

I tear my eyes away from the doorframe and fixate them on a picture of my angel. I cannot help let the tears flow. I scan every inch of her picture perfect skin. That glowing radiant smile. The spark in those deep blue eyes. My heart aches. The pain grows and grows each second that I'm away from her. How I ache for her soft warm and gentle touch. How I would give up everything to hear her speak or see one of her bright smiles that could even light the darkest room.

I'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
and I've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

You used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now I'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
and I've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
and though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

(ACTION: PJ runs out of the room, tears blinding his vision)

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
and I've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

Once again I apologise for stage directions, I just had these images in my head bursting to get out, and I hope it kind of helps set the scene that has continuously played over and over in my mind

So ends another chapter!

Signing off,

Jane W